musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Blog challenge Days 9 to 21.

So I have been resting but still doing my blog challenge! here are my entries for the last few days…..

Blog Challenge Day 9 to Day 21

Day 9 – Your last kiss.
So, my technique last kiss was my lurcher Bella when I left the house this morning! Don’t judge, she gives great kisses!)
The one before that was an early morning smooch with Kitten this morning. It was on of those lazy. Stretchy kisses, that is unhurried and full of soft touches that normally leads to more, but Babe came bursting in to hustle us out of bed, cos we need to get up and ready for a very long car trip!
Day 10 – Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Alcohol – I’m fine with it in moderation, I don’t drink very much, but that’s mainly cos I’m a flipping light weight, and after 3 beers I’m on the floor giggling! I don’t like being round drunk people or people who get aggressive when drunk, as they make me feel unconfutable and unsafe.
Drugs – All for the ligate one, hell I would be lost without them. illegal ones, don’t do them, don’t like. If you are then that is fine, but please don’t do them round me, and don’t ask me to join in! Everyone I know who has done them in the long term seems to have ended up with bad mental health problems.

Day 11 – Your current relationship
Well to the outside world I’m just a happily married lass. But if you look a little closer you will see that it is a D/s life, that I share with my husband / Dom and 3 other female subs. Myself and the girls are all bi and we all play together. We would all say it is a committed, none monogamous, poly relationship, that makes us all feel happy and whole.

Day 12 – Things you want to say to your ex.
Ah the question I have been dreading more than anything. Things with me ex are still so raw and fresh, but I’m going to give it a go…
• Why did you say you loved me, then try to break me?
• Was I worth so little to you?
• Do you know how much damage you did?
• What was going through you head as you beat me over, and over?
• Why did you have to rape me over and over?
• Did you really think you could break me?
• Does it hurt knowing that I’m doing just fine without you?
• Does it know that a French man is 1000 times more of a man than you ever could be?
You nearly killed, but that was never going to happen while I have this fire, burning in my soul. With love and support I have rebuilt myself. I still have a very long way to go, but I have come so far from the shell that you left behind. But more than anything you need to know that you will never break me, never!

Day 15 – A date you would love to go on.
I would love to go to the adult dyno-snores at the natural history museum. You get an afterhours tour of the museum, a 3-course meal and then a film in the main hall. The is a roof top bar that serves cocktails, that has a great view of London. You can stay up late listening to ghost stories or find a quiet corner to snuggle down for some sleep. Then in the morning you are woken up with a full on cooked breakfast. The only way that is could be more perfect is if the was a way you could have a shag next to all the bones and fossils,

Day 14 – Something discussing that you do.
Umm , not sure that I do anything that I would count as disgusting. I do like Squeezing whiteheads , but I get told off by the Boss man for doing, as the is high risk they could then get infected and that infection could put me in hospital. I also pick at my skin till it bleeds when I am nerves. We are working on that and it is the reason my nails are always kept short!

Day 15 – The best thing to happen this week
By the far the best thing that has happened this week is the Boss man having this week off work so that he could come to my midwife appointment with me . It was just an awesome day. I got to late all cuddled up to kitten. Then had breakfast, a shower and got dressed in the Boss Man . We got there right on time for my appointment, so we got to go straight in. Everything is good , I need to take iron tablets , but apart from that , everything is going smoothly!
After my appointment we are shopping, walked along the river , fed the ducks and lunch in my faviform pub. We did grocery shopping , went home, took a nap, and then cooked dinner together. We ate when the girls got home , and then it was baths, jammies, and DVD’s on the sofa till it was time for bed, story, and cuddles.
It’s not anything big or fancy. Just a day doing normal stuff, with the people I love. But never really having had that before , it makes for a very happy me!
Day 16 – 3 things that you are proud about your personality .
1) Tough – I’ve be through some shit over the years (slight under statement?!?!). I have come close to giving up a lot of times, but I have not. I have stuck at it and fought on and carried on living. I am pretty sure that some of it has been done through being bloody stubborn , but hay I’m still here!
2) Caring – I like to think that I’m carrion , I hope I am! I like looking after people and making sure they are safe and away from harm. I will always stick up for and protect the people I love . I will always try to support my friends and family, even if I don’t agree with them.
3) None judgemental – I have fucked so many times, and I know first-hand what it feels like to have someone judge you and your feelings. I would never want to make someone feel the way it made me feel.

Day 17 – Things that scare me.
I don’t like to admit that stuff scares me, but they are quite a few things that I’m frightened of. So, I’m going to make a list of them.
• Birds
• Deep open water
• Crowds
• Drunk people
• Confined Spaces
• Driving in the rain
• Outside (I’ ok with beaches/hills/wood)
• Germs
• Dirty places (Bus stations / Public loos / near bins)
• Being sick
• Mice and rats
• Fly’s
• Maggots
• Rotting food
• Thunder storms
• Large groups of teenagers
• Drowning
• Hospitals
• Eels
• Jellyfish
• The bottom of the ocean
• Space
• Things that can’t be explained by science
Strongly I’m not frightened of death.

Day 18 – Disrespecting parents
This is kind of a touchy subject for me as things with my own parents are not good right now and I don’t see things getting any better anytime soon.
I’m off the belief that show and treat your parents with respect , but that respect should also have been shown to you too. I also think that it is very easy to lose respect for them. It does not mean that you love them any less, it just means that they are not the people that you thought they were and that you are different to them .

Day 19 – something that never fails to make you happy .
Without a doubt, it must be waling my dogs, as it makes me happy on so many levels. The fact that just picking up a lead fills the house with wagging tails and excited barks. The are days that I’m in huge amounts of pain or really low , but I take them out and it makes things less tough. I can have a good old stomp, chat to them about the crap that I have going round my head, Safe in the knowledge that I’m not being and they’re not going to tell anyone.
Add to all this that they are so happy to run around like looneys, sniffing and peeing playing with their little friends, laying in muddy puddles, and rolling in the sand . I sit there watching and thin I did that, I made them happy , and that makes me happy!

Day 20m – The last argument that you had.
Weirdly I think it was either about putting petrol in the car or pop tarts. I just don’t remember which. The last proper grown up one was with a receptionist at the doctors, about my need to see a doctor that day and being told I was not sick enough to need to see one . To which I asked what qualifications they had to trig penitents. I also pointed out that being pregnant , suffering from an immune disorder and being diabetic, I felt I did need to see a doctor . After that she found me one pretty dam quick!

Day 21 – Something you can’t seem to get over.
Depression, I have had this bastard illness most of my adult life. It comes and goes, sort of an ebb and flow thing. Sometimes I hardly notice it , it’s just the little grey patch on me sunny day. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming , me in-tier world becomes stormy and dark . But it never truly leaves me. I guess that it never really will, but what has changed is the way I handle it now. I talk about it , I reach out to people, I ask for help and I don’t try to hide it anymore. I have stopped looking at it as an infliction and treat it as an illness. People get sick with it all the time, the are so many treatments for it, from mediatisation to therapy. So, what I means is, Yes, I have depression, no I don’t think I will ever be 100{df7bb8344c8fbc08004428db04482721bad042a20adaf6cb6f45d2148c3c353a} over it, but I can live with it, and I’m cool with that!

 

Hope you enjoy,

Pixie

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