So I made it through 2 weeks of punishment with no fuck ups or extra punishment! YAY PIXIE! It’s been a hard week on a lot of fronts , but not due to punishment. No any hassle I’ve had has been from my sisters and on a professional front , and that is all sorted now. It’s felt strange and odd to have to let others do stuff and not do it myself, but the house is still standing, we are not facing financial ruin, and the world is still turning!
This week Maîtriser wants me to work a little on myself and my self-esteem. I have a lot of issues around how I see myself and how I think people see me. This stems from being bullied pretty badly at school, ill-health and being in an abusive relationship cfor way to long. I guess I got in to the mind set of if people call you fat or ugley or stupid enough times , you start to believe it and I did for a long time. but over the last few years I been working with a therapist to challenge these thoughts and beliefes , but they still flare up at times and sometimes they can start to do harm again. being truthful they have started to be a problem over last few weeks , but I try to keep them hidden and not talk about them. But i’m not going to any more and i’m actually looking forward to working on them a bit over the next 7 days! So here are this weeks rules / punishments.
- I am to read 3 blog post of my choice everyday and disscuse them with maîtriser or Babe in the evening. I may also comment on the post online.
- Weekly Writing prompt to be done by Thursday (800 words)
- Daily mindfulnesss tasks and brain training (30 mins)
- English lessons 3 times with John.
- 2 gym sessions with Steve (cardio and core)
- 30 mins of yoga plus 10 min meditation.
- Write a goal list for the next 6 months
- Write an eating plan for myself for the next 4 weeks.
- Daily diary to inculed all food , activety and sleep.
- Christmas party dress pattern and fabric shopping to be done .
- daily tasks to be given in the morning by maîtriser. ]
- 1 to 5 to be done every time I have a negative thought about myself.
I have also got to work on my swearing and loosing my temper with myself. So if anyone catches me swearing or grumping, wag a finger at me!
Well lets see how we go!
Pixie x x x x