From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Day 8 & 9 of the Submissive's advent calendar, by submissive guide – Time to receive and joy in accomplishment.

So, I’m working this weekend and the end of last week was super busy, so last night I chose to sleep instead of blogging! (Self-care at its most basic). But I did yesterdays activates and I sat down and did today’s and wrote this while having my lunch. I got lucky and could take the babies to work with me and the has been a que of people wanting cuddles, some much so I had a 45-min lunch and nothing to do, so I chose to write!
Yesterday activity focus was receiving a complement and excepting it with grace. Now it echoed a lot of stuff that maître has me working on. He and the writer of the calendar made the point that most people do not give a complement wanting something in return. Also, that by saying, that they are just saying it or that someone could do better than you, are putting not only yourself down and the person giving the complement down too! The first activity was to accept complements for the day and do it with a smile and a thank you. The second was to complement yourself through-out the day. I liked the first second one, but maître liked the first, so I did a combination of both!
It was hard for me to keep telling myself I was doing good, as I really struggle with my self-esteem and my sense of self-worth at times. So, I took it slowly and steady. I chose to focus on the things that I feel I’m good at. Like looking after the babies, house work and being a good friend. The later kind of inspired me to sit down and write to a couple of friends, and I told myself that I would make people happy by doing that. I gave my living room and kitchen a good clean, telling myself I was doing a good job and that I was proud of me. I also congratulated myself for making beautiful babies. Now the tough part for me was accepting a complement, without thinking the persona wanted something. But I did it! A friend on twitter said that I was doing well, that I brightened her day and make her smile every day, So I took it and said thank you! My English teacher told me that he is amazed at how much better my spelling is, and again I said thank you and smiled. Then when maître said I looked pretty, I smiled, hugged, and hid a blushing face in his chest!
Today focus was on what I have accomplished this year and celebrating it. The first activity was to sit and make a list of all the things that I have accomplished this year. The second was to sit and think about what I have achieved this year and then think of a way to celebrate it. As I’m at work and a little pushed for time, I chose the second task.
The biggest thing that I have achieved this year is having the twins. For a very long time I thought that I could not have kids, and I told myself I was happy with that, but deep down it killed me. I did want to them very much, so when last year I got engaged, I kind of broke down the whole kid’s thing can be tumbling out my little head. We decided that if I could not get pregnant we would be looking in to adopting, but we also decided that I would come off the pill and see what happened. Well fast forward to now and I have ended up with 2 screaming bundles of joy, that I love more than life itself! Becoming a mum has been amazing for me. It seems to of made it easier for me to deal with life and given me a sense of worth that I have never had before. So, I decided that I should do something to celebrate that, so I phoned the boss man and asked if I could next week go to the baby flick at my local cinema with my great Uncle Fred, and got the thumbs up!

So that is the last 2 days, lets see what tomorrow brings shall we?

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

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