From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 14 of the Submissive's Advent Calendar, by Submissive guide – Don't be afraid to be brave.

So yesterday about being afraid and brave with inn are submission. like being frightened to do something and still doing it. We have a made up word for it Scave , When your scared and brave all at the same time!

The first activity was a simple reflection on the current fears you currently have about your submission, are relationship and within resells . The is also a passage from Slavecraft by Guy Baldwin, and you are asked why do you think he wrote that slavery requires bravery ? the second was second was to make a coupon book. By sitting down and writing a list of thing that you were too afraid to do over the last year , then turning them in to a coupon book , that you can give to your dom , a sort of list of things that you are too scaired to try without a little pushing! I did the first on.

I’m going to say that over the last few days I have been very low and my anxiety levels have gone through the roof. I’m ok and maîtriser has stepped up and is take care of me , but I just felt the need to say.

Now what am I fearfully of as a submissive, hmmmm . Well firstly that I don’t please maîtriser enough or that he will stop wanting me . I now I’m enough and I know his not going any place but it that niggles at the back of my mind , but I’m working on it ! Other worries are I can do the same as the rest of the girls. I mean physically I have limits. I can’t kneel for long periods of time and some of the rope stuff that babe is in to. But the way I have found to deal with it , is to speak up about it and then we find a way to adapt it . I also have things that due to having been abused and hurt really badly by me ex, that I find really hard to do. but again we are working on them . taking them to the point that I get scared and then when it is too much I will use my word for I’m not feel happy with this and we take a few steps back. I think Guy Baldwin saying that with slavery the comes bravery , is true. You are putting your life in someones hands , and it takes a lot of trust to believe that person is not going to do any thing to hurt you and that everything is safe. its even harder if you have had a bad entrance in the past.

Well that is as far as I’ve got . I am going to go cuddle maîtriser now!

Hugs,

Pixiie x x x x

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