From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Days 15 and 16 of the submissive's advent calendar , by submissive guide – our needs reclaimed and the prayer.

Evening all you lovely little kinster! How are all doing this fine Saturday afternoon? what have you been up to? one day someone will actually go ‘ well pixie, today I’ve done XY, & z ‘ But hay hum.

Now before I get started on my daily ramble, I am under orders to make a small confession, cos maîtriser thinks it’s something that should be in the open. I think it makes me look like I’m moaning and people will get sick and tired of hearing me wine on about my health and stuff like that. But being a good girl, I’m doing what he asked, even though I don’t want to d: . I have for the last 10 days been trying to fight off a chest infection. I’m fighting it with help of antibiotics, steroids and extra nbs, and I’m bloody well winning. I didn’t say any thing cos , well I have had some people have digs about me always being sick. The truth is I do get sick a lot and I will always get sick a lot. I try my hardest to sat as healthy as I can, but some times it gets too much and I wind up needing to go in to hospital, which is hard, stressful and upsetting , for myself and the whole of my family. With babies now it has become terrifying , so I’m fighting even harder to get well and stay that way. But I  have also got to a point in my life that I am sick to the back teeth of being told to go fight being sick nice and quietly in a corner , so I don’t upset the nice people. I did that for years with me mother and then my ex, and having to hide something that is a fucking huge part of my life , is actually fucking my mental health over. so yeah , I’m sick, I’m fighting it ,no I want to hide it, no I don’t want you to feel sorry for me , but I do want people to know and respect me! Rant over !!

So now back to yesterdays actuates . the focus was me needs and wants as a submissive . With Christmas fast approaching ,  me needs can more than usable . the first activity started with sitting and make a short list of my current needs, my needs right now. the actual activaty was to make a bunting , to go up in a room in your house , and write on the back one of your bunting and then if the are some not being met , talk to your partner about how they can be met. the second was a simple hot chocolate , to sit down and take 15 mins of me time with a cup of hot chocolate. I had some down time yesterday so I sort of did them both, just slightly different.

For the bunting , I adapted it slightly . I have been making bunting to go over the cots in the twins room. So after I sat down and made my list of needs , instead of writing them on  the back , I carefully stitched the pieces of paper to the back to the bunting. then I got Babe to put them up for me for me, cos I’m not allowed to stand on chairs or ladders.. Then I sat and talked to my partners ( I love saying that) . Now what came to light is that I’m a really lucky girl cos nearly all of them were being met. I had 3 that I felt could be worked on or stuff that could be tweaked. Firstly I wanted more cuddles and kisses, will sound silly but we have all been working silly hours and I just wanted some physical affection. So we have all made time today to cuddle a bit and remember good bye and welcome home kisses! second was my want to start pushing myself harder to get back in shape. This was met with coition. After having twins and a C-section , I’m not allowed to push to hard. but we have agreed that I can do more swimming and up my daily step count. Lastly the was my want to do something with my brain and may do some form of study. well we have agreed that I can up my English lessons, the boss man is going to set me more writing task and today I have signed up to not only my creative writing class , but to do a physics class too! For the second one   maîtriser made me hot almond milk with honey and let sit with my jerboas  for 20 minutes . well I was supposed to mental , but ended plotting out a story!

So on to today’s focus was on prayer and how it can be used to focus the mind. The first activity gave you a ‘Submissive’s Prayer ‘ that has done the rounds on the internet, and to sit and think about it and practice focusing you mind, The second was to write your own prayer or at least have ago. I was feel sick and run down so I did the first activity . This is the submissive prayer we used.

prayer

I have for most of my adult life found prayer a very great way to calm my mind and to reflect on things. So this was a great way to do just that. I spent a lovely quiet 10 minutes just sat , thinking about the word and what they mean to me. after I had finished I felt so relaxed that the boss man-made me go take a nap!

Well that was 15 and 16 , I wonder what 17 holds for us!

Hugs,

pixie x

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