Diary, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Day 22 of the Submissive Advent Calendar, by Submissive guide – Here we come – A – Caroling.

Evening all! How are we all doing this wonderful day ? what have you all been up to? Today has been another fab day in the weird world Pixie! The boss man worked really late and then work up saying he was going to work, even though he did actually need to. He would not listen to me so i brought out the big guns, in the shape of his Mother and my Great Aunty May , and after phone calls and being told off , and he stayed home with us! I got to make him breakfast in bed, then had cuddles and nookie! Then Big Steve turned up 2 hours early for his Christmas visit!

So anyway on to todays activities! They are all based on obscure Christmas traditions. the First activity was called Apples. Oranges and Carols. it is based on the tradition of making a Christmas basket of apples and oranges and going round the village, sings carols and giving out the fruit to their boughs . the task was to make your own basket and take it to a nabourgh, that you have never spoken to , so you can spread some Christmas cheer! The second was to crack open out the Christmas music , sit back and enjoy! being a bit anxious today , I chose to do the second!

So what we decided to dig out the Christmas play list of Spotify. We made it the first Christmas we were together as a little poly family! We popped it on after lunch while we all did craft this afternoon, with tea and cakes. The play list seems to be in two halves first one was full of really upbeat music, stuff you could dance round the kitchen too! the second half is slower and full of carols, that I always end up singing along too, really badly. but the are three songs on the playlist that send shivers down my spin and bring tears to my eyes. Silent night, sung by the High Kings, an Irish family group. it just takes me back to Christmas eves as a little girl and my granddad sing it in his arm-chair by the fire. Then the is away in a manger , this was my nana’s favorite Christmas carol. It makes me really miss her, but remember part of her will always be with me. Then the is How great thou art. This was the song that was being sung the first time I went to Mass after I tried to take my life. It was a really hard thing to do, to walk in to a church paked of people, who I thought would judge me for ‘Sinning’. But instead I was met , for the most part, with love and respect. This song just takes me back to that time, and I feel humbled that people are so forgiving and It has made me a lot more forgiving as well. If people could forgive my lies and what I did to myself , then I can and will be the better person and forgive others. I have even started , with the help of my therapist to try to forgive my ex for what he did to me, but that will take a lot of work and time.

So that is today, see you all tomorrow!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

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