From the heart

#SoSS – guest writers, vlogging heroes, and the youth today

#SoSS – guest writers, vlogging heroes, and the youth today.

So, I have not sat down and written one of these in ages, life has been up and down for me. Massive high, but then I have been facing down some of my old demons. I am also making BIG changes to my life, on a personal, professional, and blogging level, and as I have Said before, change of any form is something I really struggle with. But this time I have wanted change, not had it thrust upon me.

One of the biggest, and best changes I have made, is the bing on board of a sort of writing partner, in the form of the epic Aedan D, O’healy. His been my friend for long time, helping get my life back on track and kicking my butt when it has needed kicking. (A lot of butt kicking has gone on) an amazing writer, but he is also a tech wizard and wordsmith as well. He is also my editor and has help me step up my own writing (yes sir) He wrote a beautiful story / poem for my site, I watch you….. That people loved just as much as I do! Link to story. He has his own blog at http://aedansdomain.com/ and can found on twitter. He is a writer full of empathy and spirt, I’m mean he came up with this piece, http://aedansdomain.com/2018/05/12/earned-not-taken-kept-not-squandered/. From this you would never know he is new to the D/s scene, I feel it sums it up pretty well. So, go stalk him on twitter .

The next thing I want to shout about is one of the changes I have made, that is sort of my baby and I’m very proud of! We now have guest bloggers on Submissiveheart.co.uk. Once ever two weeks (for now), we have a guest writer or blogger, with a short piece of their own work. We still working out the kinks in this, but we are open for submissions, and we pay £30 for a piece of around 800 – 1000 words. (I know it’s not much). So far, we have had 2 amazing pieces of fiction. We kicked off with the amazing Posy Churchgate https://twitter.com/PosyChurchgate and her stunning short ,  Burlesque. With great use of words and a great flow, she paints a beautiful picture with her writing. You should follow her blog here https://posychurchgate.blogspot.co.uk/. Then we had Sharon Atkins, who I met at Eroticon. She is a very talent poet and writer, who has turned her hand to erotica. Her piece The other woman is nothing short of scorchingly hot. I was really homered have her on my blog and to sort of pop her erotica cherry! She does not have a blog yet (like why not), but she can be found on twitter at ().

The next awesomeness I feel the need shout about is one of the bloggers I have discovered. See being pregnant and an over anxious brain means I’m having trouble sleeping and staying asleep. One of the thing that has been helping me get through the sleepless night is YouTube and the wonderful vloggers. Some are madness and I just make me want to hit my head against a wall, but some are flipping excellent. Things I have really enjoyed watching and learning about more about is DDlg and the many, many forms it can take. It was one of these vlogs I found and have come to adore is Strawberrymilkies https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn_eFU4BYvi3TFUy5-zwEUA . A wife and wife, DDlg couple. (I think they use They/ them pronouns, really sorry if I have misgendered you). They are simply and adorable little and very sweet and funny Daddy. Who together are such an amazingly positives example of DDlg. The content on the channel is well thought out and charming. They are both, from what I can tell extremely body positive, which I love. Maîtres has given his blessing, meaning I can watch their posts without asking. He loves the fact the is a great deal of respect, they are very much in love and they don’t drop to many f-bombs! So now little bear and I have midnight snacks and watch strawberrymilkies on YouTube. They are not on twitter, you can follow them on Instagram at @ strawberry-milkies

The thing I really want to share and shout about is a young lady, Jadis Liddell (), writer and blogger at the brilliantly named Tits and test tubes http://www.titsandtesttubes.com/ As you might guess she is studding science at university and writes and blogs about sex. Beautifully kinking stories, thoughtful and insightful piece about sex, and simple Devine pictures. But the reason I want to shout, well she writes really grown up stuff, with passion and an edge, that stuns me, as she is young. I have god daughters near her age and I hope they have half the drive this girl has when they get to university. People mock young writers at times, and this lady just proves we can all be a little quick to judge. Bravo little Miss Jadis, bravo!

So that’s it folks,

 

hugs,

 

pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life

Love is…

Love is supporting, without judgement or criticism.

Love is giving without expecting anything in return.

Love is caring, worrying and want the best for a person, even if that means being without them.

Love is guiding, nurturing, and protecting, without condescension.

Love is giving binderies, respecting limits, and never braking trust.

Loving is not allowing behaviours that will hurt or damage a person, even when they don’t see that harm or damage.

Love is encouraging, whether it’s a tiny step or a life changing goal.

Love is pushing you out of your comfort zone, when you don’t want to, or everything is to scary

Love is trying to not hurt others, even when your hurting or in pain.

Love is standing be someone, and letting them fix themselves, but catching them if they fall.

Love is 3 am chess games, lunch time phone calls and welcome home kisses.

Love is not hurting someone, unless they ask it too.

Love is what ever you need it to be, when you need it to be, where you need it to be.

Love is, simply love, pure and simple.

 

For my Maister, with love

Pixie Heart.

wicked wednesday

Dearest Little one…..

Dearest little one,

This is a hard letter for me to write, hell I never thought I would be in a place in my life that I would want to write it. I always thought I would be fine with just women coming and going in my life. But I have realised I can’t continue on like that, not anymore. I never thought I would meet someone who I would want to have as mine mind, body and soul, but here I am.

I’m terrified of what we have, truly terrified. For the first time in my life I’m not content to just have something open and fun. I want you, all of you. I want you when your happy, sad or angry. I miss you when I go to work in the morning, when your away from my side, with in minutes I feel the loss. When your sad I’m sad, when your happy I’m happy. But it’s more than liking you, it’s a need to have you with me. I can’t sleep without curled up, spooning into me. I can’t eat or concentrate without knowing your safe, cared for and well, it has turned in to my number one job in life to know your ok.

For the first time in my life I know the true mean of home is where the heart is. My house , my bed, my life is empty when your not with me. With your giggles, silliness and smile. The house is so quiet and cold without you in it. But every time I hold in my arms I feel like I’ve come home.

I don’t know when it went from sexual desire , to love, but it has. Now all you have to do is smile and want strip you naked and fuck you. But after that I want cuddle you in my arms, till you fall Asleep, and I get to watch you sleep. This is not who I am , but it’s who I have become, and it’s all your doing.

These two weeks apart have made it clear that I can indeed live without you, but it has also made it clear that I don’t want to live without you. I want you here with me, as my partner, my submissive and my love. The choice is yours and I will respect it , no mater what it is. I hope you will come back, I prey you do. Think hard little one and let me know.

All my love my darling girl,

Always and for ever.

Yours,

Sir x

Wicked Wednesday

Masturbation Monday

Yes, Sir

My face buried in his neck and my eyes tightly closed, I hear the bedroom door open. One moment, I am cradled and the next, I am airborne; flying like a bird, unafraid. I land at the same as time the door shuts.

I cower on the bed and look up at him, his face is pure animal lust. It is so fierce I don’t recognize him in that moment. It frightens me a little and arouses me even more. Looking down he growls, “Strip, now girl.”

“Yes, sir,” escapes from my lips with a breathy exhale. I am unsteady as I sit back on my feet. I reach for the clasp on my black lace bra, but my fingers are trembling too much. I look up at him, asking without words. I didn’t need the words.

“Need help, little one,” he asks? That smug tone, almost condescending is close.

He is already in motion then so close I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. My body betrays the sense of longing I feel and a shiver runs down my spine. I nod my reply and then I feel a sharp swat to my bottom.

“Answer using words missy,” he commands. He uses that same smug tone.  I know this will be accompanied a smug grin to match.

“Yes please, sir,” I say in a soft respectful tone. I am powerless to stop the shudder when I feel his lips press feather light kisses across the nape of my neck and collar bone. His hands slip the straps of my shoulders. He works the delicate clasp, with strong fingers and begins tracing the contours of my ribs. The bra is off my body in an instant.

“Put your hands behind your head.,” he says. That phrase sends a rush of wetness to my intimate parts. Every part of my body tenses with knowing expectation of what’s about to happen. I will myself to calm down as I place my hands on the back of my head.

“Yes sir.”

He walks to the foot of the bed reaching out his hands. He Careses the underside of each breas, slowly, intimately familiar with every line. . His fingers trace the outline of my breasts, skimming and pinching my nipples. He is on a mission to drive me insane.

I close my eyes and let out a sigh which is met with a sting and then the slow burn that I love. I open my eyes, first seeing that wicked grin on his face, then I can the familiar and not unwelcome shape of the clamp attached to one nipple. My eyes find his other hand as it attaches the second clamp to my other nipple. I suck in air through my teeth, relishing that harmony of pleasurable pain. He joins them together with a chain.

“Open,” he commands in a light tone. His look is expectant obedience as he gently pulls the chain up to my mouth.

“Yes Sir,” I utter. He places the chain in my mouth, knowing I will keep it in place. I am not allowed to pull the chain and add to the lush pain that is spreading through my body.

He walks to the dresser and takes something from the top draw. It’s the special drawer that I am not allowed to look in. He doesn’t let me see what he’s chosen. He places rough kisses on the back of my neck anda savage bite on my shoulder. Everything goes black then, leaving me to enjoy the pain in complete darkness.

“On your hands and knees, little one.”

He growls in my ear.

I shift onto my knees leaning forward onto my hands. I try not to jerk the chain that connects to the clamps as I feel a sharp sting and then a burn as his hand makes contact with my bum.

“What do you say when I give you a command girl,” he demands?

Gasping, I mumble, “Yes sir”. It wasn’t enough and I feel another strike.

“Thank you, sir.”

My punishment keep coming until he decides I’ve gotten my lesson. His fingers trace over the welts on my bum, working down between my legs and in to my sex.

“Did you enjoy that, little one? Did you learn your lesson,” he asks? I can hear the smile in his voice and know he is pleased.  His hands trace down my body, pulling my butt high in to the air. When he reaches what, he wants, he plunges his roughly into me. His thumb makes a beeline for my clit and can’t stop myself from whimpering.

My resolve fades in that instant and I let the chain fall from my mouth as I start to beg.

“Please sir, please let me come, please,” all the time knowing I can’t hold out.

His response is clear as he fucks me harder, rougher, and faster. Suddenly he pulls his fingers out pinching down on my clit and growls, “Cum little one, cum for me right now.”

He rams his fingers into me as I  squirt all over his hand, screaming out me release.

I collapse into a hot mess. I feel myself being pulled into his lap. He tells me I’m his good girl and that he loves me. I coo and snuggle into his shoulder, thinking about all the ways I can miss behave so I can get punished again and utter those two words I love saying,

“Yes sir.”

Reviews, Uncategorized

Tigger’s collars !

Tigger’s collar – blue stitch collar 14 – 18inch

So, I got this collar as a reward for getting through a shitty period with health, work, and personal stuff. I was given the choice of 3 treats, one of which was something from tigger’s collars. When I looked on line and saw this Devine Blue collar with a stitch charm and bell on it, well I knew what I wanted. I showed maîtres, and he let me get, with a chuckle. He knows how much I adore my collar; how much I love tigger’s collars and he also says that stitch is my Disney princess.

So, with the order placed, I had to, sit on my hands for a few days. Waiting is not my my strong point and I think I may have driven him and the girls nuts. When I got the email saying that it was I route, well I started stalking me poor postman. (Well I do anyway cos, he’s a hottie!). When it finally got to me, I pretty much kiss him, squealed and hugged him. Now the reason for this is down to the whole tigger’s collar unboxing joy. They turn up in a little brown box, but when you break the seal, undo the tape, and open it up, well that is when the magic begins.

Wrapped in tissue paper is your collar, in a little draw string bag. Tigger is also widely known for added extras. This time I got sweeties, extra charms, and bells. As it was my reward I could have the sweeties straight away. But the best bit, after the actual collar, was a stitch charm on a chain. That is now in my jewellery box. The collar it’s self was perfect. It is a beautiful blue, matching stitching, that fits like a dream. It was so wonderful that I begged to be allowed to keep it on and to sleep in it. (Which I did)

Safe to say I love the collar so much, that I wanted to wear it all the time. But it also has had the effect of every time I but it on I instantly turn little. So much so I have done maîtres a deal, this collar is going to be my little space collar. If I feel little, I can give it to him and be little when I need to be.

So, if you want beautiful hand made collars, for subbie littles, kinky princesses, or bratty little boys. From a maker who has great communication skills and customer service. Oh, and to make your littles day when they open the box, then Tigger’s collars is the place for you!

Hugs,

Pixie x

Reviews, Uncategorized

Reviews for roomantics.co.uk

Reviews for roomantics.co.uk

When I got an email from Roomantics.co.uk asking if I had ever thought of being a product tester, I don’t think you could have found a happier little pixie but being a good girl, I asked maîtres if I could, and having him on a good day, he said yes! It also turned out that they wanted reviews of lubes, edible and. This thrilled my darling little bear as it included bubble baths and massage oils, something she has been dying to test for ages, sort of her dream job. So, we picked out somethings we fancied testing out and waited!

Now first thing I’m going to say is not about the products, but Roomantics.co.uk as a company. Their website is fabulous and super easy to use. The customer service was awesome, and the communication was first rate. We got an email telling us are order had been shipped and when it arrived it was discretely boxed. With bubble wrapped products and nothing to bulky, meaning less stuff to go in my recycling bin! (Have you seen amazons packaging?!) the was a ding in the box, but I am putting that down to a bad postage service.

We picked out 3 products from the Dona range. Not a company I had really heard of before, but we chose the, as the stuff sounded nice and it did not have any hidden nasties in them. Me and Kitten have bad allergies and I’m diabetic so that plays in to anything we use.

The first thing we tried was …

Dona kissable body paint, in strawberry soufflé:

Good points:
• Beautiful and tastefully packaging.
• Nothing we were allergic to or to high in sugars.
• Smelt wonderful, like wild strawberry with a hint of musk and not overly sweet.
• Had a nice creamy liquid texture, and not remotely grainy.
• Not sticky at all and left no bitter after taste or clinginess in the mouth.
• A little goes a long way.
• Great on nipples, cocks, or clits.
• Flipping ace straight on a nipple if it’s been in a fridge.

Down points:

• The brush was not terribly good, but this can easily be over come by using a paint brush.
• Smelt so good, it made us all hungry.

Would we buy it again? Hell, bloody yes!

Next up was ….

Dona bubble bath, in aphrodisiac flirty scent.

img_1686

 

The good points:
• Had nothing kitten or myself are allergic to in it (*5)
• Smelt divine, like a summer berry wine with a hint of musk.
• Easy to open, pour and close again.
• A little went a long way, making it extremely good value for money.
• Soft, foamy bubble that lasted for the whole of the bath.
• It gets you clean.
• Reviews your body and mind and relaxes at the same time.
• Left my skin soft, smooth, and silky.
• Made my super tingly and turned on.

Down points:

• Made little bear hungry!
Would we buy it again? Yes!!! In fact, we have the other scent to try out as we were so impressed with this product.

We left the best till last, with….

Dona massage oil in strawberry soufflé:

img_1686

Good points:

• Nothing any of us are allergic to in it!
• Easy to open, pour and close back up even with oily hands.
• Smelt divine, like wild strawberry, with a hint of musk and a touch of smokiness. Not overly sweet or artificial.
• A little goes a long way, especially with warm hands.
• The action of sore muscles being rubbed, with strong fingers, mixed with the scent and how relaxed it left me feeling, led to me begging maîtres to use his tongue on me.
• He did after kissing all the places his fingers had been and said the was no nasty taste and it was not over oil.
• Relaxed me so much I came hard and need to be fucked for 2hours straight (thank you!)
• Maîtres said it turned me into an extremely submissive, strawberry scented, princess, who would let him do what ever he wanted to do to her! (He says a big thank you)
• The slight scent on my skin meant that if I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, I got horny all over again.
• Is now one of my favourite forms of fourplay.

Down points:

• Made us all hungry as hell.

Well that was, and here is looking forward to are next time doing reviews!

 

Hugs,

pixie x

Reviews, Uncategorized

Eroticon present – Rocks-off stardust Uinhorn

Rocks-off unicorn stardust clitoral vibrator.

I first saw and read about this little beauty on candysnatchreviews blog. It court my Attention, because …. Well unicorns are my thing. But as much as I begged I was not allowed one. Partly cos maîtser is a sadistic man and partly cos babe is keeper and buyer of any toys we get. So, when I saw it on the rocks -off stand at Eroticon, and after talking to the lovely lady. I got offered one if I would write a review (my first and yes, I know it’s a touch tardy). I should also add I did not know the lady was the epic Tabitha Rayne of the amazing ruby glow fame! I would never have been able to talk to her, I would have done a fan girl swoon and melted in a puddle in the corner of the room.

Well back to the review. At the end of Eroticon, I went and shyly asked if was still ok and got given the beautiful uinhorn. I sat hugging till it was timed to leave and then hide it in my bag on the tube ride back to my hotel. I was met at Waterloo by my Dom and the girls and we walked back to the hotel. (Really missed them so much and we had only been apart for 48 hours). Maîtres took my bag and saw the toy and he went from chilled to grumpy in about 3 seconds flat. The girls went to the bar and maîtres told them he was going to help get ready for dinner. Not saying a word to me in the lift to our room, i knew something was up, I knew it.

As soon as he closed the door he was demanding (in a nice way) to know why and where I had a new toy from and he had not okayed. Explain it was a sort of gift and I was going to write a review of it, he got a wicked glint in his eye. Smirking, he handed the unihorn over and got told to open my present. So, I slowly took it off him, with shaking hands and opened it.

But before I had even got it out of the packaging, well maîtres were behind me pushing me on the bed, on my hands and knees, being stripped of my clothes. Toy snatch from my hands, told to hold still and that he was going to test in on me. After he got it working and had played with the settings, he took it, and ran it on the first gentle setting up and down my spine. Turning it up a notch he traces it round my bum and outer lips and then round my clit. Having not played for 2 days I pretty much explode as soon as it touches my clit in very much needs climax. But that was not the end of the tourer, it never. He spent the next 45 minutes holding down, testing out the uinhorn regals, and then ramming his cock in to me and turning it up to the highest setting. I came so many fucking times I was left dazed and confused, thirdly happy and late for dinner with my mother- in. Try explaining to your Dom’s mum why you can’t stop smiling and why his looking Chocky as hell, without mentioning what you were just doing.

So, after we got home and the whole family tested the unihorn out, this is what we thought….
• Beautifully package, and not too much. (As in good for the planet)
• Stunning to look at.
• Tackle to hold.
• Babe loved the rounded tip and found it perfect to run up and down a spine or nipple
• 10 settings mean the is a setting to suit everyone.
• Powerful yet discreet.
• Can used as a warm up, while your being fucked or if you want a quick release.
Down sides….
• Could do with a few more or clearer instructions.
• Clearer way to turn it off.

So, to close, this is a great little toy that we all adored testing, that has found its permeant home in are bedside table! Highly recommend buying it.

Hugs,

Pixie x

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart.

Sunday morning.

I never thought motherhood was going to be easy or a free ride, no I knew it would be hard as hell at times. But for me it’s been great, for the most part. I love my little girls, they are one of the best things I’ve done with my life. But what nobody warned me about is just how exhausting they can be. It feels like I have been running on empty for years not days. It would seem they are both teething, so are grumpy and snarky in the day time. But at night , or should I say the early am they turn into insomniacs , who seem to think their feet are really funny and need to chat to mummy about it, and when they have told my about their toes, tiny, chubby ankles and how they can fit their sisters toes in their mouths, they doze off , with soft snores. But when I lay them in their cots to sleep and turn to leave them, one farts, waking themselves up, shrieking with fright, and waking their sister up. So it’s back to cuddles, chats and calming them down. Not the sort of all nighter I had in mind.

It’s after one of our early am chats that maîtser found me asleep on a bean bag this morning. I love the fact that I have rules to follow about everything, but if my daughters need me they can be over looked. But as well as that I love that maîtser and I have CNC in place, and not just the sexy kind. No I mean the loving kind. The kind that means I get woken up with a kiss, taken down stairs and made to eat what ever is but in front of me. Then hustled in to a hot shower, then a warm fluffy towel, then clean clothes and then tucked in to bed , with a stuffie and orders to sleep. And because I’m his good girl, and mildly exhausted , I have no problem with that at all.

But when the sexy side of our CNC decides I have slept and rested for long enough, and he gathers me up in to his arms, roughly foundling my breast, and biting down hard on my neck. Well not only do I know it’s time to wake up, but I’m going to get used in the most delightful way. When his hand travel down over my rib cage, the curve of my hip, dipping under the waist band of my yoga pants and roughly caressing them down my legs, with my panties, bunching at my knees. I tense and pretend to struggle a little , so his hand will go round my throat and he growls in my ear to behave, to hold still, that I’m his and he will do as he wants with me, it leaves my with no doubt he loves me.

When his other hand plunges in to My folds, and pulls my leg up and back over his, I know what’s coming, his marking me as his, making sure I know damned well that I’m his. Biting my neck, he pulls his hand from me, and I feel him unbuckle his belt and push open the fly. Then his hand is guiding his cock inside me, and he starts fucking me . It’s deliciously harsh, fast and hard. It’s not the beautiful love making, but it’s what I need. It is pure feeling, want and need.

Gently he flips me on to my tummy, pulling my bum and hips up, still fucking me. His hands move to the small of back and my neck, pushing it firmly in to pillow. He fucks me so fiercely , that it is nearly painful. Then his hand come round and under me, find my clit with his thumb , circling it with a determined ferocity that is startling. His close I can feel, and I know that if I struggle and whimper a little , he will love what he is doing to me even more, so I do. That is all it takes , and he looses his control , and so do I. Cumming so hard I think I must of blacked out a little.

Collapsing on top of me , he pulls himself from me , flopping on to his side, panting . Leaving me laying there , stunned and used. I get a hard swat to my arse and in commanding tone he says ‘up , I want feeding’ and with that he is up and off downstairs . I hurriedly collect myself , pulling my clothes back on and smoothing down my hair. Not bothering to clean myself up, loving the feeling of how utterly used and marked his made me feel. I run down stair to carry on taking care of his needs , the way he has done for me.

And why do I do this, cos I love, trust and adore him , as he does me.

Pixie x

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart.

Phobias I have and how they hold me back.

This is a post that maîtser asked me to write as part of my punishment and I have been dragging my feet on writing it. Not in a bratty way or cos I don’t want to. But phobias are something I hate, don’t understand and feel ashamed about having them. I mean I’m 37 for Christ sake, being frighten of stuff Is stupid, and still I have them! Now I’m also going to point out something here that pees me off a wee bit, and that is what is and isn’t a phobia. Or more like what Is a phobia and what Is a fear. Fears are things we are frightened of , that could hurt as or do us harm, such as snacks or pain. A phobia is something that frightens, but is totally irrational, like clowns or buttons. I have a lot of phobias , so Im going to keep it to the top 5, so here we go…..

Seagulls, pidgins and crows- first up I am going to say it used to be all birds , but I have done a fair bit of work on getting over this one. I guess it stems back to when I was a little kid and got pooped on by a bird on a school trip, and the entire class, teachers and all laughing at me. It kind of escalated from there, ending at me not being able to go to places with loads of birds. I would get paralysed with fear or freak out and have to run away. I got over this slowly with the help of my friend Scott, who was training as a therapist and wanted a willing victim to try dispensation therapy on. Little steps , often was the way we did It. I now love feeding the ducks, or going to bird world or watching the birds on my garden. I only really have a problem with seagulls and pidgins now, as they are big, dirty and fly over my head. (Fear of being pooped on) . Crow are entirely a different thing, I have nightmares about dying and crows picking at my dead body. I think that comes watching csi I when drunk. Now if any of these birds come in the garden I either let the dogs out to bark at them or draw the curtain.

Deep water – ok so this Is not like deep water in a swimming pool. No I mean like in an ocean or lake. Somewhere I can’t see the bottom. I think It’s the not knowing what is down there. I don’t like things that make me go ‘ewwww’ . It kind of led to a little bit of a fear of water for a while and I got fixated on the idea that I was going to drown. But maîtser has work super hard with me on this, by helping to be come more confident in water and teaching me how to swim stronger. But I don’t think I’ll be going on any cursises any time soon.

Being sick in public – again this used to be of being sick at all , but now if Is can get some place discrete I’m ok . Now it’s just the thought of puking In front of people that really freaks me out now. If I can shut a door and get it over and done , we’re good. I don’t know where this comes from or why I have it, but I have for as long as I remember.

Eating in public – I am and pretty much all my life been a plus size lass. But as a kid I was tiny , both In height and weight. I got picked on In nursery school , and one boy called me fat and ugly. I have hated my face for as long as I remember, but I could do nothing to change that. But I could control my weight and when and what I ate. So I refused to eat at nursery or when out with my family. I would only eat fruit and veggies at home, with an occasional yoghurt. This went on for 2 months, till my nana talked me in to eating a little more. But I still could not eat In public places or round people o did not know . It got worse as I got older and I would have to eat at home all the time. It was restrictive and damaging, but the only way I could eat without having a full on panic attack. It got so bad my nana made me speak to the GP about it and I got CBT and therapy for it. I started to get better with my eating. But still to this day I find It really hard. It led in to comfort eating in the safety of my room, to not being able to eat round people I have just met and all sorts of other things. Lol where I sit to eat in public takes me for ever and maîtser says if I do eat in front of you , well that’s how you know I like you. But having babies has strangle help. I don’t want them to have hang ups, so I’m really am working on this. One way round it and something I am super proud of is , that if I know I’m going to be out at lunch time, I pack a sandwich and then get a drink and fries from McDonald’s, sit down and eat lunch. It’s not much but it’s a start.

Germs / unclean places / bins / public toilets – this is by far my worst phobia . I have health problems and I get sick a lot. Germs can kill , and over the years it has got worse. It’s not just a feeling of yucky and blah! But more of a huge panic and freezing up, and freak out and I can’t cope, sort of feeling. I got so bad that being sat near a bin would freak me out, I could not go in the bus station or pee when out. I would have to shower if someone coughed on me and people spitting made me wrench. I would wash my hands all the time and I carried hand sanitiser all the time. But I knew I need to work on It, so I did. It was hard work, and I’m by no means over it, but it’s loads better. I also don’t want It to impact on my girls so Im still working on it. I will get past It.

Well that is a little bit of an Insight into an anxious brain and what happens if Its left unchecked.

Hugs,

Pixie x

musings of pixie heart.

boobs behaving badly ….. for Ben and floss

Boobs behaving badly… for Ben and floss Ok I / we are a family who love boobies! We quit often have little arguments over who has the best boobies. (Does not every family) but sometimes boobs misbehave, with hysterical results. A lot of times things happen on are girl dates. Like the time Kitten and I went to a-trampoline park . I got carried away , was wearing the wrong bra, bounced to hard and my boob flopped out in front of a group of teenage boys. Or the time (when drunk) little bear and babe went to the loo ,but the was a massive cue , so they shared a cubical . Turning backs while the other peed. Little bear then decided to try and open the door with very little room to wiggle . Well she had at the time very big boobs (she had a breast reduction) and the door got wedge between them and her and babe got sort of trapped . After 15 minutes of trying to get free, a lot of giggles and help from some lovely ladies, some one went and got the pub manger and 2 doorman , to help take the door off , so they could get out. Needless to say we never went back to that pub. It’s not just when out boobies behave badly either , no happens at home too! I have always loved wearing skimpy slip style nighties, that make my small boobs look nice in (big head). I have before now woken up to the ups driver banging my front door, run down the 2flights of stairs, open the door , to find said drive turning bright red and avoiding eye contact . After signing for my parcel and saying thank you, I have come inside , looked In a mirror only to find my right boob had popped out. I should add that I have also answered door to the same ups driver in a shirt and panties, holding a very big kitchen knife In one hand and terrible scowl. Being poly and open , we play a lot at home. Cos well we like kinky fun and screwing , a lot . We’ ve had countless times that people have court an eyeful . The worst has to be when babe had kitten tied to a chair and was pouring wax on her tits, and the post man came through the garden gate, seeing what was going on , and tripped over. We now have a sign to remind us to pull the blinds! Naughty boobs or their owners run in my family. My sisters boob nearly came out her dress at her wedding. We have countless pics of family event with nipple showing through dresses. I have a very vivid memory of my nana trying bras on In M&S , and forgetting to pop her bra back on , leaving it hanging in the dressing room. In her defence she had dementia at the time and she was in M&S . But by far the most embarrassing boob gaff goes to aunty May. After mass one Christmas and a lot of sherry , she invited are priest and the younger priest back to dinner . After dinner and more sherry, she decided she needed a little lay down. We heard a lot of grumbling and moans coming from the guest room , followed a ‘sweet baby Jesus , merry, Joseph and all the saints in heaven” and a load thud. We all ran to the guest room , but the young priest made It there first. Opening the door , thinking aunty May had fallen over . Only to find aunty May tangled up in her blouse and bra , boobs out and stuck. She had tried to get her bra off with pout undoing it or taking her blouse of first! The shame off it! I would like to add this is why I don’t drink sherry, it makes even the mildest people into totally idiots. Well that’s us and are boobie tales shame!