From the heart, musings of pixie heart., socail

A year in the writing.

A year in the writing.
Last week my blog turned a year old! Most people who blog seem to do a giveaway or celebrate big time. Well with things being a bit rough over the last few weeks, I sort of for got about it. Maîtriser and the girls didn’t forget about it. I got loads of little presents form the girls and Maîtriser let me cook a big family dinner, with chocolate rice pudding for afters. But I’m still a little bummed that I did not really mark it, I mean it for me has been a big step and huge achievement for so many reasons. It has meant that I have been able to share my thoughts, get things out of my head and breath. It started out with me wanting to share goes on in my family in a positive light, but it quickly became so much more. I found that I like writing and I love the fact I can be creative in ways I never thought I could be. It has gone from being something I enjoyed doing, to something that I feel I need and want to do more of. I have made friends, ginned confidence and no longer feel like I need to hide who I really am.
I have also learned stuff about writing that I simply had no idea about. I mean dear god where was I when other people were learning about this grammar and punctuation crap? Sentence have rules and regulation? Proud to say that my spelling is better, I turn my grammar and spell check on now and I write in English now. Making a whole lot easier to post things that make sense to the public. Believe me writing in Gaelic and then translating it in to English is a pain in the bum, and not I a good way! But I’m going to share the things that I have learnt that have had the biggest impact on my writing.
Consistency is the key – I have gone from having no writing routine at all, to make myself sit down and write for an hour a day, to the point now that it is not a task but a habit. I have turned the box room in to a writing space, quiet, still, and warm. My little space to sit and write. I have also found that making myself blog at least once a week has help me fight some pretty harsh demon, that seem to like dancing on my self-esteem a lot. But it also keeps me connected to people and the outside world.
Edit like you mean it – looking back now over early blog posts I am shocked at how bad my spelling was and how badly edited they are. I have started for bigger pieces started using and editor (Aedan O’Healy). His got me doing Self editing thing that means I read it, reread it, and read, then post it. So now my work looks heaps more professional!
Plan, plan and plan some more – Ok so I am in my Realtime life a habitual planner. I love sitting down with a planner and getting things in order. I find it calming and helpful with my day to day life. But planning out something I’m going to write is so helpful and keeps me on track with what I’m writing. It has curbed my waffling and rambling, leading to me writing faster and with less fluff that was not needed.
Connect with other bloggers and readers – the sex blogging community, for the most part is amazing, and I love them. They have been a source of inspiration and encouragement. As have people who read my blog, I find it hard to get my head round the fact that people give a crap about what I write. I really do feel blessed to now have so many epic friends in my life!
Memes, Such fun! – So, the are loads of super fun kinky writing memes out there, Masturbation Monday, Kink of the week and Wicked Wednesday. They are great fun to take part in, et the creative juices flowing and inspire some Smutty writing! They have also got me thinking out side the box, working to limits and sticking to a dead line!
Find your spot, be unique and be yourself – So the biggest thing I have learned, is that I have a spot in the blogging world, that I am in lots of ways unique and that people like me when I’m just me! I can inspirer to be like people and like what they do, but I can’t be them and that is ok, cos they can’t be me either!
So that is what I have found after a year of blogging, shall we see where the next year takes us?

Hugs,
Pixie x

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., socail

The people in my life.

The people in my life.
For anyone who follows me on twitter or my blog will have heard me talk about the people in my life and how much they mean to me. They are what keeps me going at times and are by enlarge what makes me who I am. I have written a little about them in the past, but never any real detail and I feel I should, I mean it feels rude not to really, they are simply to rade not too!

Maîtriser/ Boss man/ Tony: My Dom and Husband, he is also my Care-giver / Big and the sadist, to my masochist side. He has been my Dom for almost 5 years and we have been a couple for 4 and half years (long story). We have been married for just over a year and have 2 tiny twin daughters, Connie, and Evie. He is big, rough around the edges and a Gentleman. His tough kick boxing diamond, who has a hidden softer side. Clever, Funny, witty, and talented guy, who has a bad habit of sing Justine Bieber. (are little girls light up if JB comes on the radio). Best father and husband in the world in my eye and my hero.
Babe: Switch/ maîtriser second. Strong, practical, down to earth. Beautifully than words, Very clever and extremely funny. She is my Female Dom, who I do everything she tells me the first time, without fail. She is the meaning of the word sadists and Queen of ropes! She is possibly the bravest person I now, she will call maîtriser out if she thinks he is being to harsh or is wrong (yes, Doms can be wrong sometimes). Some people would say she is moody and rude, but she just does not do BS and calls a spade a spade.
Kitten: My best and oldest friend in the whole flipping world. Strong, funny, sweet, and incredibly talented. She is stunningly beautiful and sexy as hell, even if she does not believe it. She is the family peace maker, she is the person I turn to when I don’t know how I feel or don’t understand what is happening. She has a way of calming down, when I don’t know why I’m angry. She is my partner in crime, tag-team Buddy, and my nap time mate. I Love my Kitten.
Little Bear: The family’s Little/ Brat. Super cute, sweetheart, funny and possibly a little crazy. She brings out my protective and maternal side. Prone to bouts sulking and extrema brattiness. Obsessed with anything pink, purple, fluffy or sparkling. She has Daddy/ Faience as well as the boss man. She is also sort of the family social director and party planner. She is my chef snuggle bunny and little-space buddy!
Emit: One of my oldest and best friends. He a wardrobe master, working in New York. Someone I have and always want to know. We have both gone through and fought back from Domestic abuse. A dresser in a theatre. Smart, funny, charming, and cute as a button. He is my subbie shopping partner and my chef cheer leader!
Sir Beasty / Aedan O’Healy: Friend and protector. Tough guy with a squishy fluffy side. Witty, clever and has a way with words.one of very few people I trust 100%. My editor, sounding board and giver of advice. We trade friendly insult, cheeky banter and reminisce about Ireland. He has written permissions to tell me to hush, stop sassing and to behave. He has a really weird way of knowing what I’m thinking before I do!
Big Steve: The big tough guy in my life! (his 6ft 5). But is a total sweet heart who make me smile and never has a bad word to say about anyone! He is our personal trainer and he can push us as hard as he wants to and is even allowed to set punishments if we misbehave. (the worst I’ve ever got is legs and arms in the same day). but he is also the one who can get me to open and to make me cry when I get really stressed and need some relief. Top hugger ever!

Masturbation Monday

Caught in the act – part 3

 

Conner pushes me gently over the thresh hold of his room and shuts the door firmly behind him. He pulls out the chair form his desk and urges me to sit down upon it. He sat himself down on his bed, arranging the pillows behind him and making himself comfortable. grapping hold of the hem of his black t-shirt and pulling it up and off in one clean move, tossing on the bed beside him, and then tucking his thumbs in the waist band of his short. “Jo your one stunning girl, but your bundled up like a nun really isn’t that inspiring you know. Do a guy a favour and flash some flesh, will you?” His says in a horny tone that make me smile, even though I feel like I might throw up at any second.
“what do you mean by inspiration and how much flesh do you need to see” I reply in a quiet shy voice and not daring to make eye contact with him.
“Use your imagination babe” he retorts in a rough tone.
My eyes flick up to his, to be met by his smiling face and eyes, burn bright with desire. I let out a calming breath and reach up to my hair, pulling the pin that had been doing a bad job of restraining messy curly red locks. I shake my head a little and run my fingers through the tangle. “how’s that? I ask
“Good start but keep going” he replies with a grin. So, I stand and pull my hockey shirt over my head and let it drop from fingers to the floor. Then I push my yoga pants over my hips and down my legs, wriggling free and stepping g out of them. I adjust my thong panties, I return to the chair, this time perching on the edge, hold eye contact with Conner the whole time.
“is that better?” I ask, and it met with a very enthusiastic nod of his head, that sent a jolt of electricity through my core and leaves me with tingling toes and a suddenly wet pussy. I laugh and say, “Well I seem the one taking my clothes off here, don’t you have something to be getting on with?”
He grins widely and shakes his head with silent laughter. “Little eager aren’t we, been awhile?” he says, and I nod and blush. His thumbs slowly pull his short and boxers down to relive the rippling muscles of his stomach, the thick dark hair and then a very satisfying cock. “are you sure you can handle this?” he says and points to his cock, that is so hard it is standing clear from his stomach.
I Signer and say, “I’m not the one who’s going be handling it, but I’m sure going to enjoy watching”. as I stare him gently stroking his length.
“better loose the panties and bra then” he says.
I stand up and reach behind and unclasp hooks holding my blue lace in place, and with a role of the shoulders it falls to the floor. Then I hook my fingers in my panties and shimmer my way out of them. as I’m about to sit back down I notice that his hand has stopped moving “hay buster, you have a job to do!” I chide him.
“Well you see I never got to see you come, and that seems mighty unfair to me” he quips back at me with a cheeky grin and deadly serious look in his eyes.
“what you want to see me make myself come, while your making yourself come?” I ask in a sort of shocked amusement”

“Well I would much rather it was my cock that was making you cum, but I’ll settle for what I can get” his says and settles back and gets back to job at hand.
“what you want to fuck me?” I say in a shocked gasp.
“for fucks say jo, of course I do. Your stunning, funny and whip smart. What would I not want to fuck you? What do you think all the flirting has been for?” he growls at me.
Wide eyed I reply with “but I thought that is how you are with all women, I thought you were being friendly.”
It’s met with a snort of laughter “So pretty, so clever and yet so slow on the uptake. If you don’t get that pussy over and start fucking me, then I might start wondering why I’m So attracted to you”
My mouth opens and closes for a few seconds at his words, and then I manage to get out “I still want to see you come”
“well you better get on with the job in hand yourself jo” he growls, his hand still stroking his member. With that I decided to just let go of my self and just go with the moment. I spread my legs, on tip toe. Run my hands, down my neck over my breast, tweaking my already hard nipples as I go. Then carry on down over my stomach, my hip and then slowly part my lips. Using one hand to hold them open I use the other to fuck myself for a few minutes and then feeling the tension building in my stomach, I start to rub my clit, building up the pressure till I can’t hold back any more. My head goes back, my eyes close and I let out a prolonged groan of pure excites. I have never come that quickly or hard at my own hands ever before.
Floating back down to earth my eyes open and expecting to see Conner on his bed, I get a shock when I find him standing over me. The next second his pulling me to him and in to a fierce kiss. Then he’s spinning me round, kissing and biting my neck. his big hands a grouping my tits roughly and in a gravelly voice his saying “tell me this ok jo, foe god sake “
I nod that its ok and get thrown on the bed. He reaches inside this night stand, grabbing and condom, tearing it from the packet and rolling it over his cock. Then his body is back, covering mine and pulling me to him. then he plunges in to me I one stroke and then his thrusting in to me with a power I have never felt before. Then he gets faster, and I know his climax is close, but I’m not quite there yet. he pulls out, flips me over, plunging back in to me and then reach a hand round the front and using his thumb he rubs my clit hard and fast. Its enough to set me off and he follows my, coming with a roar in my ear, slamming in to me one last time.
Moments later he roles off me and throws the used condom in the bin. I sit up and say, “where the fuck did that come from”
With a smile he pulls me back done to the bed and kisses again, in a possessive way. He say’s “no idea, but things are going to have to change round here. Cos, I need to do it again and I feel I neglected parts of you. So, Roommates with benefits or something he says. all I can do is nod in agreement as his hand start to fondle my breast. “good cos I think these could do with a little attention, don’t you? And he starts to mull my breast and nipples and all I can do is moan in agreement.

caught in the act part 1

caught in the act part 2

Masturbation Monday.

 

wicked wednesday

it could only happen to me!

When I read this week Wicked Wednesday I thought I was going to write a serious , straight laced tale, and then I heard a chuckle , followed by “mes souvenirs vous souvenez-vous de cette époque qui revenait d’Amsterdam?”. that stopped me in my and then made giggle till I was crying.it led to me and the rest of the family sitting down and reminiscing about some of the more memorable travels we have had over the years

the memories of a trip to Amsterdam with a group of biker friends was amazing , but coming home was one of the most morterfifing points of my 20’s. are boat was late and we were left waiting around a port , in the freezing cold for a number of hours. I decided I need to change and put warmer clothes on , so I quickly rummaged through my rucksack to find some thermals I had packed ,  shoving my clothes and stuff back in and scurried off to change in to them. by the time I got back it we were being usher through customs and on to a boat. when I got to the customs officers , I got pulled over and motioned to take my helmet off and let them look in my bags. now I had gone to Amsterdam and had ‘treated’ myself to a few new toys. so the thought of them seeing them was a little embracing , but when I put my bag up to be looked through the was a very load buzzing come from it. the custom officer seemed to think I had a weapon or bomb in the bag , and then things got silly , with my bag being moved , people moving out the way and the officer shouting “what have you got in the bag miss” . Well I had to tell them, but the mortifying part was them going through my bag, pulling out all the toys and demanding I took the batteries out of all of them and giving me a warning that I should have done this before packing them and to of declared them, as they nearly called the bomb squad!

Another time that comes to mind was last year at crufts, well at are hotel. I had gone up to days before hand with kitten and 2 of my dogs. well we had been allowed to take a couple of toys with us, so we could have some fun and enjoy each other . we took a very nice dildo and a bullet vibrator. well we did indeed have a lot of fun on are first night, and the next morning we woke up late . in a rush not to miss breakfast and be late to help set up the stands we were working on that we left are room in a bit of a mess. When we got back that evening the housekeeper hand been. the bed was made, room straighten and the tea and coffee restocked . When I went in to the bath room I found at vibrator and dildo all nice and clean next to the skin. not where I had left them on the bedside table. that was a face palm moment! lol it was made even worse by my dog Mad Eye getting out of the room while kitten was at the bar and I was in the bath. I panicked and run out after him in a towel , that cover very little , shouting that he was a little shit  and I was going to kill him! Well I caught him outside the kitchen, but had forgotten to a lead. So I had to pick a wiggling dog up , while trying to keep a towel in place and get back to the room. When I finally made it back, I found that the door was locked, meaning I had to walk in to reception and find someone to open the door for me, still holding a wiggling and now growling Mad Eye, wearing nothing but a towel.

But by far the most embracing thing that has happened in a hotel was on my wedding night. Well I was a little drunk, extremely happy and hornier than hell, and when I’m like that I get really vocal. Well to cut a long story short , we had some one knock on the door a grand total of 3 times in 1 night. oh and the boss man-made it worse by cuffing me to the bed , answering the door wrapped in a duvet and holding the door wide open so the poor guy who had to come tells us to be quiet saw me naked, covered in bite marks and panting!

Well that’s my wicked Wednesday ramble and my first blog post from this site!

 

Hugs,

Pixie

 

Prompt #295: Suitcase

Masturbation Monday, musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

Caught in the act – Part 2.

Second part to Caught be the act… (part 1)

My eyes lock with Conner’s for a couple of seconds before I can shake myself out of my daydream. realising I’m nearly naked in front of my house mate, with a boob out and my hand in my panties, I immediately blush from head to toe. Picking up the Tv remote, I fling at his head. Sitting up straight, I make a bolt for the safety of my bedroom. Shouting “get out Conner “as I go. Not stopping till I reach my room and the door is closed and locked behind me.
Then the is gentle knocking at the door and Conner’s voice say “Come on Jo, we need to talk about this. I get in my bed, hiding under the covers, holding a pillow over my head trying to block out the tapping at my door and Conner’s pleading for me to come out and talk to him. “Jo don’t be a twit, come on let’s just talk about it! I sit up, with a humph. “please just Go away Conner’ I get out, through the shame filled tears that have started full.
After he finally leaves, I creep out and turn the tv off, grabbing some snacks and then decided to hide in m bedroom for the rest of the weekend, in case he comes back wanting to ‘talk’ Saturday pass with me only leaving my room only to pee or get food and drink. Sunday pass the same, with the add extra of a very quick shower, cos I was staring to smell. Sometime after 11pm I wake up with a growling stomach and raging thirst. I slowly open my bedroom door and peek out to see if the is any sign of Conner. Then I creep down the hall, past his door and in to the kitchen, glad to of made it and glad his not back from his trip.
Then just as I round the corner in to the lounge, I walk straight in to the solid wall of naked muscle that is Conner’s chest. Smacking in to it, I quickly step back with a slight wobble, that Conner corrects with his strong arms gripping my forearms. I look up to say thanks and he can let go now. Only to be told to shush and listen.
“Jo it’s totally naturel you know, everyone does it. “He says in a calm steady tone.
“what You have been caught pleasuring yourself on the sofa by your house mate have you” I shoot back at him” my mortification complete.
“well no, but then I always go some place privet to pleasure myself” he says with a smirk on his handsome face. “But then I’ve never thought about setting up camp on the sofa and just going at it”
His words make me blush, as my head is filled with pics of sat on the sofa, naked and stroking his cock, till he comes. I giggle and let out a sigh. “so, we good now?” he asked with a warm smile on his face.
“I guess so, but I feel at a disadvantage here. I mean you’ve seen my boobs and ….” I get out before he cuts me off before I can finish.
I saw one really nice boob” he say’s adding “What do you want me to do to even it up Jo, whip my dick out and start wanking in the kitchen?” he says with a tone full of humour, but now all I can think about is how much I want to see his cock. I meet his eyes with a shy nerves smile, blushing from head to toe. “Is that it Jo you want to see my Cock?” he asks
Blushing even harder, if that is possible, I croak out a “Yeah, I really want to see Your Dick”
Laughing and shaking his head, he says “fine, but once this is over, we are going back to normal ok? Grabbing my hand in his and dragging to his bed room he casually adds “I’m Going to need a little inspiration though”

 

Masturbation Monday.

Masturbation-Monday-badge-1

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

My #Metoo

My #Metoo.
Warning- this post is going to contain domestic violence, mental and sexual abuse, sexual assault, rape, self-harm, and attempted suicide.
So, I have thought long and hard about writing this, and until a few weeks ago I would have told that I was not strong enough or I was not read. But over the last few weeks I have been reading a lot of #Metoo blog post and they have helped come to terms with what happened to me and changed my way of thinking. I had not realised how much something that I had very little if any control over has been holding me back and how much I let it affect me still. So, with the blessing of Maîtriser and the approval of my therapist I’m going to write it down and then move forward without it weighing me down anymore. I need to let it go and forgive myself, because even now after everything I still feel it was partly my fault for not leaving or speak up about what was happening. So, I’m going to do this and not look back on it anymore. It is going to leave stripped bare and showing all my scares. But I must do this, cos I don’t want to hide it anymore. So here goes.
I meant my ex-husband when I was just 17 and doing my A – levels. I was on a night out with friends and I spilt my drink on his shoes. We go to talking and he bought cocktails. he was 24, in the forces and in a position of power. He was charming, clever, handsome, and confident. Everything I wasn’t. at first he made me feel loved and cared for , but also let me know I was lucky to be with him. He was also from the start very demanding sexually. After a few months he became very possessive and controlling, but I was flattered that he wanted to be with me.
After passing my A- levels I started at university in London. This marked a period of my relationship that I found very hard. Every time he went on a tour of duty we would break up, I would not see or hear from him for months at a time. I would try and move on with my life, only for him to come back and us to make up, and my world got turned upside down, over, and over.
It was this time that I met My Darling Kitten. She was in the year above me and was stunning. She has a very quiet nature, but is also a very loving and passionate lady. When I was broken up with !”$£ we dated and had some of the best sex I had ever had. She was a submissive with a dominate, and it was her who took me to my first ever fetish club. I met her Dom (The boss man) and we became friends and he took me under his wing and looked out for me.
When I was back together with!($£ I came out to him as bi and told him I thought I might be a submissive. He was a little shocked at first, but soon came around to the idea, deciding he was going to be my master and I his whiling Slave (I’m not a slave, I am submissive.) Instead of the caring and loving D/s I had seen in clubs, this wasn’t what we had. I was humiliated, I had no rules, no safe word or the right to say no. He also used this a weapon against me and to get his own way. I guess this also where the physical abuse started really. The odd kick or slap here and there, were in his eyes just punishments. He started coming o clubs with me and Kitten, he even met the Boss Man. He was controlling, but also made very free with offering my body to other people. Letting them touch me without asking and ordering me to do things I was not happy doing. It left me feeling dirty, used degraded and hurting, but I thought I loved him and after all the had to be some suffering as a submissive, right? He also started bringing people in to our sex life, that I was not attracted to nor did I want to be friends with them. Drugs and alcohol were used by him and others. But I refused to take illegal drugs, and I got the beatings for it.
After I finished university and after work in in Paris for 2 years, we moved in together in a house that I had bought from my parents. For a while things were ok and almost stable, almost. But after he left the forces and we got engaged that when things got bad. The odd slap or kick turned in to full on beatings, that left my broken and bleeding. Living together meant that I had no freedom what so ever. I worked long hours in the film industry and when I got home, it was like walking on egg shells. The slightest thing would set him off. He checked my phone, my emails and I was given very little money. He controlled who I saw and when. I became isolated from my friends and most of my family. But I still went through with marring him, as by then I was so ground down I did not see any way out. My sister was worried and thankfully she made sure the money I had inherited from my godmother. He also became extremely sexually aggressive and demanding. My life had become a living hell and it was getting worse by the day.
Then came the final limit. He came home and told me he had another woman pregnant and needed money for her to ‘take care of it’. For so reason red and decided enough was enough. I told him to leave, I scream at him to get out and never come back, and I through cup at his head. But that was just a red rag to a bull and he lost it.
He grabs me by the wrest and dragged me upstairs to are bedroom and slammed the door. He placed his had round my throat and squeezed till I blackout. I came around a little while later, in pain and bleeding. when he noticed I was awake well that was when the nasty stuff happened. For the next 4 hours of was beaten, sexual assaulted, raped, and chocked till I past out. Then a suddenly as it all started it ended. He fell asleep and that is when I got up and made a run for safety. I hide in my offices, locking the door and called my friend Steve. To be honest I don’t remember much after that. The was Steve, police, examinations, and pain. I tried to hide a way and block it out, pretending that I was fine and could cope.
The truth was, I wasn’t, I was fulling apart. I wasn’t sleeping or eating. When I did try to sleep I had flash backs to what had happened. I felt dirty, shammed, and broken. Yes, I had survived, but I was I hell and wished I had died. with the police involved and everyone knowing what had happened just wanted to hide. But I put on a front of being ‘ok’. I then started to lose time and I would find myself in places I did not remember going to.
Now this is the part that I am so ashamed of and hate myself for the most. I could not take the mental pain I was in, leaving in fear or the total lose of control. I was tired mind, body, and soul. I saw no future and that was what made me decided that the world would be better off without me. So, I stopped taking the meds I used to keep myself healthy. I got a months’ worth of my pain killers, antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds and a bottle of vodka. Took them all and laid down and waited for the pain to end. Lully, I was found and got to hospital in time to save my life. But hospital was hell, I was frightened and alone. I text Kitten to say what had happened and that is when she came back in to my life.
Her, Babe and maîtriser swooped in and came to look after me. They offered me love, care and support. The kept me safe and guided me, but gave me the space to put myself back together again. They saw past the adult and rape victim and saw me.
It wasn’t all plan sailing. I spent 3 months in a cardiac rehab centre. I was under the care of a psychiatrist and can. I had to see a therapist and can, and had therapy 3 times a week. I had to deal with the full out with my family and friends. Then the was the whole court and prosaicism thing, but I got through it somehow.
It has take a lot of hard work and dedication for me to take my life back. The have been heralds, set backs and very low points. I’m still not fixed, and I don’t ever think I will be 100% fixed.
But what I have found is that I am the me I need to be. I have a life now that makes me happy and I feel fulfilled for the first time in my life. I am still working on myself, but who isn’t? so for now I’m the me I need to me to be.
The one thing I want to say and ask of who ever reads this, please don’t see me as a victim and feel sorry for me. I am fighting back from what happened to me. It could of beat me, but I have chosen to live, I am a saviour and a warrior, not a victim, don’t treat me like one.

musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized, wicked wednesday

21 Mulberry Mews.

21 Mulberry Mews.

Looking down at my phone I reread her text. “Flat 2, 21 Mulberry Mews, New Cross. I left the key under the mat. My room is the last door on the top floor. I left you towels for a shower and the is veggie curry in the fridge. I will be home around 2, make yourself at home.”. Locking my phone just as the train pulls in to New Cross station. Heaving myself to my feet, I grab my bags and my folio case and make my way off the train.
It’s been a rough 72 hours and not having a place to come home to had made it all the harder. So, when you text offering a place to crash for a few days I jumped at the chance. It means I get to curl up in bed with one of the most handsome men in the world, warm and safe. Instead of on the sleeping on the sagging old sofa in the corner of my lonely cold studio, all on my own. Only I could leave myself without a place to stay between now and when my flat is ready to move back in to.

After trudging up the station steps and making in through the barrier with my bags and case, I am confronted with the cold, slushy paths of new cross and the 10-minute walk to your place. If its possible its colder than when I left. Trying to not shiver, I plod on and my mind wanders to the times I have ‘crashed’ at your place over the last few months. The have been the nights we have been out drinking and you insisted it would be safer for me to stay than walk home drunk. I decided I need to sober up and that the best way was to have crazy wild monkey sex. It did nothing to sober me up, but I got to come and then you cuddled me to sleep. The was the slow sensual screw after my break down over my finals and all the stress it brought with it. It started with a friendly back rub and a joint and ended with some very slow sweet loving! The have been countless other times and just thinking of any of them brings a warm feeling in my tummy and a blush to my check.

Before I know it I’m at the door of you shared house, 21 Mulberry mews. I locate the key under the mat and let myself in and make my way up the stairs and find your room. It is full of your masculine furniture, with a flare of colour that is your theatrical side. I dump my things on the floor, stipe of my damp clothing, grab a t-shirt out of your draw and the only pair of clean panties out of my bag. I shower quickly, heat the food left for me and put the plate in the dishwasher. Back in the safety of your room I turn on the bedside lamp, pull back the covers and climb in. the crumbled sheets and pillows small of you. That citrus scent with hints of sandalwood and little touch of something spicy. I snuggle down and within 5 minutes I am fast asleep, exhausted with hours of traveling and forced being sociable.

The next thing I know someone is leaning over me, tucking stray hair behind my ear and kissing me on the forbid. My eyes open to see you in the dim light crouched at the side of the bed smiling down at me. Without a word I scoot over in the bed making room for you to climb in next to me. turning the light off as you go, gathering in to your arms and cuddling me back to sleep.

I wake an hours later, spooned with my back flush against your front. I can feel your morning erection poking me in the bottom, and I deliberately wiggle a little as I stretch and yawn. You gasp a little and then stammer out an apology for it.
“why are you sorry?” I say in a fake coy manner “it’s flattering, and I like it” I add, giggling and wriggling a little against your hardness. This seems to be too much for you, as you pull me harder against you, biting my neck and practically tearing my clothes from my body. My hand rid you of your boxers in record time and the next thing I know you flip me on my back, pinning me to the bed with your weight. You don’t wait for me to come to my sense, instead you capture my lips in a demanding kiss and impale me on your cock. this is not the wild animal sex of a drunk night out, but nor is it the soft slow fucking. It’s hard and fast, it drags me along with it. It makes me moan and I feel the tension build in the pit of my stomach. I feel your muscles tighten, signalling that your close, but you want me to come with you, so you’re back biting my neck hard and grouping at my breast with enough force for me to know you will have left a mark, that will last days. Then the tension breaks and sweeps us both off to some bliss filled ecstasy.
Moments later, when we both come back down of our shared high. we are cuddle back up together and drifting off to sleep I hear you say something that brings me back to my senses like a shot. “you want us to be a proper couple?” turning in your arms to look at you, I see you looking unsure, but your nodding.

Thrilled, excited and happier than I could ever thought I nod back at you. Knowing that being with you on a more of a proper footing is what I have want for so long, but not know how to ask for it. Kissing me on the nose, you declare it’s a deal! Then you decided it’s time to snuggle back to sleep again, so you can wake me up again in the same way!

For my Kitten, love you always.

Pixie x

Wicked Wednesday

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Masturbation Monday, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Caught be the act… (part 1)

So this is the first part of a story that maitriser asked me to write, as a task! he wanted me to practice writing a story in parts and to see if I could live each part at roughly 500 words. I was also to try my hardest with the spelling and grammar. The reason for this is I have somewhat lost my faith in my self when it come to writing over the last few weeks and have been being realy hard on myself. So here is the first part,  hope you like it!

Caught in the act.
“So, I’m leaving now “Conner says, in an overly loud voice from some were behind me. I let out what I hope is a distracted “hmmm, ok “. trying my hardest to not look heart broken that he is off to spend the weekend rock climbing and goofing about with his Gym buddies. So, I stay glued to my paper, having read the same 3 lines a thousand times in the last 15 minutes. He picks up his bag and stomps out the house slamming the door behind him. I let out a sigh of pent up frustration and sexual tension.
I have been living with Conner Mathews for just over 5 months. At first, he was just my cute and funny room mate, who moved in when Amanda moved out to live with her boyfriend. She had suggested him as she knew he needed a place to live and knew I needed a roomie. who in her words could handle my ‘quirks’? But after a night of drinking and a slight break down, due to seeing my ex with his bimbo white trash girlfriend. We became good friends. But last month after coming home early with a head ache. I was not feeling great. walking around in a daze, straight in to the bathroom and straight in to a very wet and naked Conner, drying off from the shower. Ever since then I have been lusting after him like a stupid school girl.
So, when he said he was away for the weekend I kind of felt relieved. 3 days of not having to avoid looking at his tight ass, that flat stomach, with it’s 6 pack or those wide shoulders and strong arms. Not to mention that handsome face, deep blue eyes, and smile. God I’m worse than a teenager.
So, 5 minutes after he left I have striped down to my panties and cami, a Tom Hardy film on for a little inspiration. Lounging on the sofa, I let my mind wander a little. But it only gets as far as Bloody Conner. Those eyes of his boring in to me, making me wetter than I have ever been and making all the nerve endings in my body buzz. My hand falls to my cami and the swell of my breast. I stroke the underside of them, then trace the lace with me finger tip, and tease and pinch my nipples. Pulling my right breast out from my camie, I continue to play with my nipple. My other hand travel downwards, over my tummy, over the curve of my hip along the top of my black lace panties. my hand slips inside them, in to the folds of my clean shaved sex. finding that lit nub of delight, my head turns to the side and I open my eyes and let out a moan.
It is then I see Conner’s sun glasses on the coffee table, just as I hear the front door open and Conner’s voice saying, ‘I only forgot my sun glasses Mel, just back to get them’ and then his shocked gasp at finding his house mate mid wank in the living-room of there shared house.

Hugs ,

Pixie x

Masturbation Monday.

 

nee mm

Diary, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Dairy 8/1/18 to 14/1/18.

Diary: Mouse
Monday 8th January 2018:4am: Sweet baby J! How much snot can two babies make? Every time I put one down the other cries or starts coughing. Hate this, I should be able to make them better.
7am – Thank you for bringing me tea! And thank you for offering to take the day off to look after them, but I’m a big girl I can do this. You have so much work on, it does not do for both of us to be tired! Love you x
7.45 – Aunty May has turned up with her knitting. She is making me breakfast and then told me to go take a nap, she also said she will sit with the girls while I nap. She has made a pot of tea, has her book and her knitting. When I tried to say I was fine, I got told to hush, eat my eggs and be a good girl. I’m being Domed by my 82-year-old aunty!
11.50am – Holy cow! I really was shattered! Being woken up with a cup of tea and told to take a shower and that lunch is at 12.30 is the best feeling in the world!
12.30pm – I think today is about just holding it together and not over thinking things! My head is not a pretty place to be today. So, I am not going to over do it or push myself to hard. Aunty May has made bonfire night soup and soda read, with proper butter.
1.30pm- Aunty May is watching the babies and I’m off to dump rubbish!
2pm- home and planning tonight’s classes! I am terrified that after 4 months of not teaching owners that my brain has turned to mush! Might have to extra meds tonight 
3pm – I have wrapped the babies up warm, got my hat, scarf, and gloves on. Bella and mad eye have their coats and harnesses on we are going for a walk, I need fresh air.
4pm – lord, that really did help! Blowy, cold, and damp, but it helped!
4.20pm – babies sleeping, so I’m doing 30 mins of writing!
4.45pm – Ok given up writing chatting with snuggles and Sir Beasty instead, much giggles to be had!
5pm- time to cook dinner, best steer clears of the garlic tonight!
5.55pm – Did you know this is the first ‘Dinner time’ we have all sat down to after a full working day this year? I do love that everyone turns up at 5.5o or so and we seem to spring in to action as a little family unit!
6.30pm – well time to get changed. Again, thank you for offering to come and support me at classes. But I need to do this for myself.
9pm – lesson done! I did it go me!
11pm – bedtime story, snacks and lights out. it has been a hard day, tomorrow will be kinder!
2am – great now they want Justine Bieber songs with their feed! You git!
Tuesday 9th January 2018: 5.30am – Mwah! Thank you for getting up with the girls and doing feeds and bums! I really need to stretch!
6.30am – so I’m having breakfast in bed with kitten, we have a secret mission for Sir Beasty! Maw-ha-ha-ha!
8.30am- so dressed and ready to go to my English class! Babies and I seem to of dressed the same today! Did you mean to do that??
9.30- Tiger have unicorn head phones again! I may have just bought 4 pairs. #sorrynotsorry
10am – English lesson time!
10.45am – Oh bum in a jock strap! Sir Beasty is on-line and wants to chat and I don’t want to be rude, but also, I need to do brain work!
11.20am – ok I may have eaten MacDonald’s fries, sorry!
12.30pm – Jeans, t-shirts and hoddies bought, now home for lunch.
1pm – Uncle Fred is here and has salad sandwiches! Lunch time companion!
2pm – stuffed! Babies down for naps, mummy is doing house work!
4-pm – house cleaned, tea prepped, and babies fed, burped, changed bums and back to sleep. I’m off to write in little space!
5.30pm – so you are waking me up with kisses was nice, but I wasn’t sleeping. Just checking for light leaks! So, you fancy a hand job before tea?
6pm – girls home from work and we are having chinses food cooked by you?! umm ok then!
7pm- you let me have veggie noodles and did them all safe and everything! Not that I’m saying this, but do you fancy cooking dinner in the nude sometime, we would love that! 😉
8.30pm – Clean Babies, fed and in bed! Bed as told, but can I write, story idea! Please!!!
11pm – Bedtime story and tuck in?! don’t like babe being away and little bear working nights!
Wednesday 10th January 2018: 6am – Yoga time! Stretchy Pixie time!!!
7.am – I don’t like not having little bear or babe here breakfast. It feels empty and I miss them):
8.30am – see you tonight x x x x. house work started kitchen and babies sorted. And little bear tucked up in bed. She looked little and tired):
9am- Ummm so let me get this straight, you want me and the babies to take Big Steve shopping for suits and to have lunch with him? Oh, Ok if I must!
9.30am- His got the big car! I have decided I want to be Tigger for the day! I bounced on stave and Sir Beasty!
10am – let me at them suits!!!
1pm- Good lord, that man knows how to shop! He got the twins gap hoodies and jeans! We are having Mexican food for lunch!
2.30pm- home from lunch, babies fed, changed, and tucked up for naps. That is where I’m heading now, before you grump at me!
4pm – blimey I was a tired Pixie pops! Little bear has woken up in a very good mood and even got the babies up. Found them sat on the floor watching TV together! Yes, I know but they looked like they were watching with her, ok?
5pm- Well that is babies fed, bag backed for tomorrow, lunches made, outfits laid out and washing on. Now for dinner!
5.45pm- You was nearly late! Go get changed or no dinner!
6pm – yes, I did you stake for dinner and yes, I made baked spuds, who does the food round here buster!
7pm- shower time with kitten, can we play please?
7.50pm – Thank you for sitting and watching big man, I do love that!
8pm – baby baths are such fun! Umm I do think we might be taking a few to many pics though, maybe?
9pm – Babies asleep, and yes, I’m off to bed!
10pm – I swear writing for an hour before bed helps me get sleepy as hell! Can we “cuddle” please, that would help me and kitten sleep!
11.30pm – holy fuck, I know kink of the week is anle , but FUCK! Oh and what the fuck got in to you!!! I’m going to have bruises for weeks and the teeth marks on my shoulder, nice touch! But now sleep? Please?
Thursday 11th January 2018:5am- Connie and Evie want to come and do yoga, no really they do and I might want quiet cuddles, is that ok?!
6.15am – have you got you sleuth pants on today?! How did I not hear you come down and start breakfast? Not complaining! Boiled eggs and avacrdo toast! Love you x
7am – kitten cuddles, baby bathing and hot tea!
8am – double checking my bag, for the 5th time. I am so nerves and nervous. Will you please look after my babies? I know you will, but love them extra hard for me? Connie likes to see Evie when she goes down for her naps and does not like wearing her mittens, but needs them on cos she is itchy. Evie likes cuddles before her morning feed, holding Connie’s foot when you do her nappy and like raspberries on her tummy once it’s done. You know all that right? They don’t like radio 4 or 1, but love radio 2 or Kane fm.
8.30am – Coffee money and a lift! Thank you x x x x
9am – here goes!
10.15am- Why are you sending me pics of you willy? And very rude exploit text? Need you knob now!
10.30am – Thank you for saying I can go calm myself down, but what if I get caught or something?
10.45am – Did it! Now I need to behave or I’m not going to do well in this class.
12.30- Lunch time. I’m going to sit in the outside seating bit. I know I should go and find someone to eat with, but I’m not that brave.
1.30pm – chemistry time!
2.45pm – Break time and phone call home. No, I’m not checking up on you, just checking in to see that your all ok!
4.30 – college over and done for the day! I did it, I really did it! Epp!
4.35pm – your bought my babies to meet me! x x x x x x x x x x x
4.50pm – do I have to take a nap?!!?
5.45pm – ok dogs bursting in on me to wake me up is great, Mad Eye farting and walking off not so great! Little shit!
6pm – Wow you did spaghetti and tomato sauce, yay!
7pm – Really, I must take a bath and put jammies on?!?! (:
7.30pm – I don’t like babe and little bear not being here): but I do like T.V and cuddle with you and kitten (:
8.45pm- Boobie, burp, bum, and bed!
9pm – I got old, I want to go to bed!
10.30pm – bedtime story, lights out and cuddles!
1.45am – oh Dear! We have a snotty situation going on in the girl’s room!

Friday 12th January 2018: 5.15am – thank you for getting up with me, so tired and needed your extra motivation to do yoga this time of the morning, after a night like that!
6am – Breakfast with the loving BDSM podcast! Yippy!
7.30am – thank for doing the babies so I can shower and get dressed. SOOO blinking tired!
8.30am – Babe is on her way home!!!!
9am – go to work already! If you don’t I’m never going to get this place clean and the ironing done!
10.30am – Bathrooms cleaned, towels on washing, sheets, and undies dry, hoovered, and mopped, not time for a snack and cup of tea!
11am ok living room time!
12.45 – Living room done, bedroom done! Not to play with babies and eat lunch!
1.30pm – babe is home, but she is so tired): made her a sandwich, cup of and sat her in front of the television.
2pm- have got babe to go bed, she looked done in for, so I asked her if she would please take a nap!
2.30pm- All the house work is done, babe is sound asleep, as are the twins. I am now going to sit and write!
4pm – Taking a nap myself now!
4.45pm – I really do love it when Kitten wakes me up with kisses! Little bear did the twins bottles and bums and babe is playing Xbox. The house is warm, full of noise and colour again. Simply makes me very happy!
5.30 pm – You’re a full 30 minutes earlier than I thought you would be! Go wash up or ill bite your bum!
6pm – Pizza and salad for tea is fabulous, add Bud light and I’m a happy girlie!
7pm – Shower time with babe! She even let me wash her hair and her back! She is ragged and tired, we need to love her a little harder for a bit sir. Seeing her family and Julie not being there is still so raw for the time being!
8.30pm – Babies first you monster, then sexy time!
You know how much I hate leaving kitten half way through eating her! 😛
9pm – Come on then big man, bring you’re A game!
1am – See your not getting old and still got it and some! You left marks on all 4 of us and I think babe need that. teeth marks on the inside of thighs is a nice extra and I love them! Sleep now though?
Saturday 13th January 21018: 6.30am – Thank you for letting me skip yoga this morning. So tired and sore. Right babies!
7.45- babies done, dressed, washed, hair up and ready for breakfast. Do you have to go to work?
8.15am – Right me and the twins are off to get the bus to my English class. Rahhh! I’m feeling super brave today!
9am – The building people are putting the hugest crane ever up and half the road is closed, and I’m stuck on the bus!
9.15 am – made it! Let the English lesson commence!
11am – can I get fries from McDonalds, please!!!!
12.30 pm on the bus home. tired and needy of rest!
1.15- home. babies fed, and bums done then lunch for this tired pixie!
2pm- You’re really missing out, all 4 of us are taking a nap together!
4pm – Where did you come from? Babies look so tiny when you carry them around! Why are you home so early?
4.30pm – Yay we are making homemade Mexican food for tea!
5.15- I did warn you about the chillies, silly head!
6pm- I love the fact I can feed the babies and dinner at the same time! Multy tasking or what! This is the best dinner ever, yours are such a good chef!
7pm- bath with the babies! Love this!!!’
8pm- babies sleeping! Time for cuddles in bed with my girls!
8.30pm – casualty, snacks, and beer! Rock and roll, we be!
10-pm so, your drunk! But not that I mind, means we get to listen to kinky books on the iPad!
12pm- you know they’re not even hunger or need bums doing. The cry, you pick them up and have a cuddle. Then full asleep in your arms!
3am – Mad Eye is at it again! With the add thing he seems to have taken to sleep in the door way to the girl’s room!
6.30am – how can you be so sodding chirpy, this time in the morning and no hang over! Thank you for doing the babies and letting me do yoga.
7.45am – So I have decided I’m not going to mass. I’m just not in the right frame of mind. Can we have a family day?
8am – little bear thought I looked sad, so got me jelly and cream.
9am – Kitten and I are doing lists of things we want to do next week. I have stickers out you have been warned!
10am – Babe is taking us all to hobby craft and I have £70 on my card cash account!
12pm- Whoop! I got barging’s and nice things! The babies liked pets at home.
1pm- home for lunch!
2.30pm – Have had lunch, done the 3 b’s, and now napping!
4pm – Blimey tired pixie pops! Babies playing with I be!
5pm – Pasta for dinner!
6.30- bath time, I think I have a cold):
7pm- turns out I really do have a cold!
9pm going to bed feel yucky!
10pm- Thank you for making me get up and have cold medicine, I know I moaned and whined, but I really did need it!
10.30pm – Bedtime story, cuddles and lights out. Thank you, x,

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

Pixie's Prompt – my love language .

Take the love language test , write done you result, is it true? Explain. max 300 words.

My results are:

10 Words of Affirmation
7 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch
6 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts

So this was actually not that surprising . I’m not big on receiving gift , although I do get given lots as rewards for being a good girl. I love my cuddlies and spending time with my partners. The acts of service part well I don’t agree with that as I would much prefer to be the one doing the act of service, I think I’m just hard weird that way. The words of affirmation well yeah! no shocker there. I / We have none for ages that I turn to goo after a partner tells me they are proud of me , or stop and listen to me or tell me I’m doing a good job. But it is also that being told I’m loved and that I’m wanted is a sure-fire way to make me feel calmer and smiley. So on the whole I think it’s true except the act of service part, as I really don’t like it when people have to feel they need to do stuff for me. but the rest is pretty on point. quite funnily Kitten got nearly the same as me , Babe got a really high score in quality time and Little bears highest for physical touch. The Boss Man got 11 for acts of service and 1 for receiving gift, so I think it shows that we really are well suited!

See you tomorrow kinkies!

Hugs,

Pixie x