Diary, From the heart, Little, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 5 of the Submissive's Advent calender, by the submissive guide – The Music.

Hi, hello,hay! Well I’m up early and have hit the road running today! My uncle Fred is watching the babies while I have my English lessons. So I’m getting some help with writing this and get to have a lovely chat with a friend.

Today’s activities focus is Music and how affects you and how it inspires you . The first activity is to sit and listen to music that you love, then think about a few questions . The second is about finding a poem, or quote or single word that inspires you. Keeping it your pocket and thinking about it, and letting it inspire you. I chose the first , as music is a big part of who I am . It can effect my mood, make me smile or cry or laugh or make me horny as hell! I have quit eclectic tastes in music. I love Punk, metal and rock. But I also have a soft spot for rap and country. I will even admit to liking so pop music and even Abba. Not a huge fan of jazz or classical stuff , but they do have their place. but one of the biggest loves I have is for Folk, or should I say Irish Folk music that I was bought up on. No mater what I have going on or how I feel , Irish folk can cheer my soul, calm me down and make me feel grounded. Haha I guess I am more of traditional girl than I thought.

So the thing points:

  • How does music connect you to the world around you? Music is one of the things that can really effect my mood. I use it to help when I’m anxious  to help me stop focusing on the thing that is making me anxious. I can use it when I have a cry stuck, to make me cry. I use upbeat music start my day happy and full of energy. I guess it sort of feeds my soul!
  • Do you have a theme song? The boss man would say ‘right on time’ Cos I always have to be on time for things! but I think it would be ‘don’t take it personally’ by Monica or maybe ‘Savior’ By Destiny’s child. Cos I can be a little grumpy at times and cos I have been through some shitty times .
  • Thinking about when your playing with your partner/s or fantasize about doing so – is the there a play list in your mind? Yes defiantly! For D/s it has to be chilled and calm, with a slow beat and a melody . For fucking it has to be either slow and soft , if it’s romantic. Or if it is more intense or spontaneous , the has To be a stronger , faster beat.
  • Do you have a specific music you love to play to? What are they? why do you think they connect you to the moment? Well not specific songs , but bands like the kings of Leon, green day and nickel back. I think it’s cos they have songs that inspire me to dance and act a little naughty. I can then remember what I did to that song if it comes on the radio and then I get that sort of not in my tummy and blush at the memory of it!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

bdsm, family update, From the heart, Little, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 4 of the Submissive's advent calendar by submissive guide – Rewards for service.

Well Good Afternoon world! How are we all doing this fine and awesome day? I have been on a roll today. I got up did my yoga , Walked the hounds, did my neb and meds and ate breakfast, ok so that’s not the epic bit! maîtriser set me the challenge of going in to town , with the babies , on my own. So not to bigger deal really right? Well it was are first solo trip in to town on my own, I have really crippling anxiety at the moment and I have phobias of dirty places, public transport and pigeons. So for me it is a huge , huge fucking deal that I managed it! So as a reward I was allowed to buy Lego and have fries at McDonald’s !

That kind of leads us nicely in todays activities and their focus, which is based round rewards for service . The first activity was to think about what rewards you get and for what service you get them for. Not just in a submissive role ,  but as well as in your normal , every day life . the second was to write a plan or a list of what you want to achieve in the coming year. Both are majorly appealing to me , but for this post I did the first, as I’m on my own and I guess it’s easier, as any plans I make, would involve the girl and the boss man, and I can’t do that if they aren’t here!

So first thing I did was writ a list of things I do kinky and none kinky . on the none kinky list was: run the home, cooking , cleaning , washing and ironing. I run my own businesses and teach for another company .On the kinky side I look after maîtriser needs In anyway he needs me to, be that sexual or in a bdsm D/s sort of way. Him and I use consensual none consent , so I basically do as he asks, when ever he asks. It’s at this point I go , see he asks , not orders . I think the is a big difference between asking and ordering some one to do stuff. I mean yes he does it in a stern manner that makes me get all wet and horny , but he never shouts orders, he uses please and thank you and always heaps on the praise if I get something right. We have also in the last year changed and added in a care giver/little aspect and I have given him much, much more control over my day-to-day life. His also had me working on things like my self-esteem , my English , my confidence and my health. we also use reward charts, reward money and stickers. If I do all my chores and task for the day,  I get a sticker and £1 goes in my treat money tin. he will give me extra stickers for extra effort , and £1 for each one of them. I have to wait till the 1st day of the next month to open my tin and count the money. I can then save some of it if I want to buy something big or spend it if I want some little treats. It’s my money and as long as I spend it on myself and stuff that wont hurt me, I can do what I like with it! but one of the rewards I love the most are the words, cuddle and kisses I get from the girls, when they want to show how much they affricate what I do for them. The best one from the boss man is getting to spend time with him. Be it a 2 minute cuddle on a Saturday morning , or meeting at lunch time for a pub lunch , or the bath that he sits and reads to me. Other rewards I love Lego, books, stuffies, spa treats and anything to do with unicorns!

So that is my take on rewards for service, I wonder what tomorrow will bring!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

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My morning routine.

Right, first day of punishment and the first thing Maîtriser wanted me write about is my morning routine in depth. He wants me to list and explain all the little bits and thing I do. He wants me to realise how much I do and wants me to see if there are some things he or the girls could do, so here goes…

My day starts between 5.30 and 6:00 depending on how well I slept and if the babies have been up a lot in the night.

It normally starts with the 3 b’s (boob, burp and bum). I then get dressed for yoga and wash my face and put on mousteries.

I do a 15 neb and cough to clear my chest, then its down for 30 mins of yoga, focused on balance and core strength at the moment.

Depending on how much sweat, I get dressed, do my hair and make-up then wake maîtriser up with a cup of coffee and blow job. If I am really sweaty, I wake maîtriser up with a blow job, then we shower together and dry off.

I will have my hair washed by maîtriser which then gets wrapped in a towel, while I moustrise. I ask maîtriser what perfume I should put on and what make-up, then I dress maîtriser before I dress in whatever cloths he has picked out for me.

I go down stairs and make breakfast for myself and ask if I can get anyone else anything. I make a pot of coffee and a pot of tea. I also make sure that the paper is in maîtriser accustomed place. When he comes down, I sit down and eat breakfast, read or chat with the girls and take my breakfast time medication. Afterward, I set the girls chores for the day.

Then I wake the babies and give them their bath, dress them and bring them down stairs. I settle them in the living room and put radio 4 on for them… don’t judge!

If the girls have loaded the dishwasher and left the kitchen tidy, I spend forty-five minutes loading the washer, putting on and wet washing to dry and folding what is in the dryer. I then sweep and mop the floors down stairs and check if anything needs straightening up.

It is then that I will sit down and do emails, social media and read blog posts. If the girls stay asleep I try to write for a bit or catch up on my English stuff or reading that Bobbet has set me. If the girl wake up I will check if they need feeding, nappy changing or just want to cuddle.  By 10:00 am I’m ready to move on to the next lot of chores or if aunty May or uncle Fred are coming over I will but the kettle on and find the cake tin!

Blimey, looking at this, I do a fair bit first thing!

I could ask maîtriser if I could wake him before I do yoga and he could make his own coffee. I would really love if he would lay my clothes out for me the night before and ask that he towels my hair dry in the morning for me… (as a treat) Also if the girls are up they could make the coffee and tea, lay the table and get the paper.

Well that is my mornings for you all to go WTF!

Hugs,

Pixie

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Saturday night fess-up / punishment.

Well here we again. It’s Saturday night, I’m in bed at 9.30 and I’m being made to write a blog post , fessing up to all the rule breaks I have had this week and telling you what punishment has been handed out too. I have a very cross and grumpy boss man sat behind me to make sure I do it all, just so and don’t skip anything. I should say having to sit and write I did is part of the punishment. Cos I find it so hard to admit and it is one of the quickest ways to change my behaviour.

What I did…..

  • I put myself down 17 in one day.
  • I refused to let little bear help with the cleaning .
  • I did not give the girls chores on 3 days in the last 7.
  • I grumped at Babe, Uncle Fred and Aunty May.
  • I sassed Maîtriser and Sir Beasty on at least 5 occasions.
  • I went over my allowed step count on 3 days out of the last 7.
  • I forgot to eat my snacks on 5 different occasions .
  • I did not check my blood sugar level before bed twice , leading to hypo.
  • I skipped my afternoon nap 5 times in the last 7 days.
  • I did not do my mindfulness at all for the last 7 days.
  • I stayed up past my bed time twice and got up before 6 am 3 times in the last 7 days.
  • I answered emails asking if I was free to take on new clients without showing or asking maîtriser for permission
  • I have started to swear and lose my temper with myself.
  • I have not done any of my self-care task for 7 days.
  • I ate fast food without asking if it was ok.
  • I did not eat enough on 3 days out of 7.

punishments are…..

  • No Free time for 7 days.
  • No answering back, I must do exactly as I’m told, first time. For the next month.
  • all emails must be checked by maîtriser or Babe before the are sent or replied to.
  • No junk food or fast food for the next month.
  • Only one sweet treat a day for the next month.
  • I am to stick to 8000 steps a day and 30 mins of yoga a day for the next 7 days.
  • my bedtime is 10pm and I may not get out of bed before 6am without asking first for the next month..
  • I will take my afternoon nap between 3pm and 4.15pm every day for the next.
  • I will do my self-care and mindfulness with Kitten everyday for the next month.
  • I am to wear my locking collar all the time, except when I have dates with uncle fred or the midwife.
  • I to eat what I am told every meal for the next month.
  • maîtriser will give me a list of chores every evening, I must divide them between myself and the girls for the next month.
  • I am to post on my blog every day ,about  something that maîtriser tells me to.
  • No swearing or sassing , anyone at anytime.
  • I must say ‘Good morning’ and ‘ Good Night’ to Twitter everyday for the next month.
  • I am to email this to everyone in my address book.
  • I will wear what I am told every day for the next month.
  • I will let maîtriser check my Blood sugar levels every day , before bed for the next month.
  • I will promise to take better care of myself and not neglect myself anagin.
  • *should Connie or Evie need me at anytime I may go to them and look after them without having to ask first.

Well that is that then. I know this has to be done and I know it is done out of love. Maîtriser only ever has my best interested at heart. I will Behave and be his good little mouse.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

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From the heart…..

So I have been away from writing for a bit, what with conferences , babies and life getting in the way, it’s been all I could do to climb in to bed at night and not just crash out on the sofa. But now , well now I’m free to stop, breath and look around at what is going on in the wider world! What do I see ?!?! well friends and loved one struggling. people fighting and hurting other people . Things that make me want to hide behind the boss man and come out when all is clam and still again!

To be 100{df7bb8344c8fbc08004428db04482721bad042a20adaf6cb6f45d2148c3c353a} honest with myself , I am finding things hard at the moment . Not anything as hard as some people , just a sort of resurfacing of my blue mood and anxieties, that as hard as I try I can’t stamp down on and tell to go away again. I think I have been so busy for such a long time , that now I don’t have stuff to worry about or be doing, I feel sort of deflated and sad. I also feel a little detached from the real world and out of touch with what is going on around me. I keep finding myself close to tears or just starring in to space. I feel like I have lost my way a little and that I can’t get myself motivated!

So I have asked the Boss man to step in and asked for some extra support. (more than I get now and more than I probably deserve). The Boss man is off to paris for work for 6 days , but he is leaving Babe in charge, so I got the best person in the world to make sure I do as I’m told! for the rest of this weeks I’m under orders to rest, recover and regroup. I’m not allowed to answer any ‘work’ emails, unless it is 100{df7bb8344c8fbc08004428db04482721bad042a20adaf6cb6f45d2148c3c353a} life or death. I am to do my daily routine as laid out by the boss man and nothing else. He’s adding in a few more Self care things. (listing them below) Next week , I am allowed to work but for 5 hours a day max. He has also decided that he’s going to find me a 30 day blog challenge as he feels that writing is something that really helps me deal with stuff . We are also going start getting ready for D-day (October 28th). Supper Excited to do that (making a list already!)

Self care tasks –

  • Make a list of activities and tasks that make you happy.
  • Make a list of anxiety triggers.
  • Make a list of people who inspire you.
  • Yoga everyday. (with Kitten or Babe)
  • Meditation everyday.
  • Make a calming playlist.
  • Plan Family days (Saturday or sunday)
  • Do something creative everyday.
  • Write a list of places , things and activities you want to try.
  • Meal plans for the next 3 days
  • Daily affirmation

So that is from my messed little head and this crazy little heart,

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

Diary, Little, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Where in the world is Pixie Heart…. Family update!

So I wont be posting my diary last week this week, due to the fact most of are little family came done with food poising middle of last week. Babe and little bear just had bad tummies and kept being sick , but poor kitten was really poorly and went all grey and weak. I was pretty sick too and what with being diabetic and having 2 sprogs on the boil was really frightened. I manged to pass out coming back from the bathroom.So maîtriser insisted me and kitten had to go to the ER. fluids, medicine and a few hours rest and we got to go home. Maîtriser said he knew we were feeling better as we both start flirting with the hot nurse looking after us. (i dispute this as i was poorly and had jammies and slippers on). So the rest of the week was written off as R & R. One really down side to all the vomiting and pooping, was i could not take any meds for 3 days. now thats not that bad, but suffering from serve depression and GAD , i take a lot of meds to control that. Not taking them ment not only did my mood plummet, but i also went through a sort of withdrawal sort of thing. That is hell on earth! So i had a sort of total break down over letting people down, not being good enough and that i was also just a massive pain in the bum. maîtriser was really lovely about it and looked after me. I was made to have a sofa day on saturday and on sunday i was made to sit on the deck in the sun and rest! 

So not doing my diary , maîtriser said I should post a little update on are nutty little family, so here goes!

Maîtriser – Turns out that the Boss Man has been having secret cooking lessons from my great aunty may! He said , that as his going to be a father , he needs to be able to cook! He manged to break my favorite bedroom collar 🙁 i got really upset and cried 🙁 so he has arranged for my friend to fix it for me 🙂 and to make up for breaking it i got to pick 3 new collars! 

Babe – has been resting up over the weekend like the rest of us, but has done loads of sun bathing and reading. She has also given us all hair cuts too! Today she got a tiny tattoo behind her ear of a forget me not, I honor of her sister who died 🙂 She has very kindly made my a timetable for my social media, using glitter gel pens and stickers!

Kitten – After being super poorly 🙁 she needed lots of cuddle and looking after! Friday was a very big day for . Kitten when she was little had a drug problem and maîtriser made her go through NA. well Friday was her 12 year of being clean and sober! So on sunday we all sat and listen to the Loving BDSM podcast (Loving BDSM), and at the end the wonderful Kayla and her daddy gave kitten a shout out and wished her a happy 12th birthday! We also had a little tea party on sunday afternoon and we got her a new charm for her bracelet. Today kitten got her belly button pierced!

Mouse (me) – well passed out , vomited a lot , had a break down and rested up. I am loving be pregnant, but I can now only just see my toes! I am not allowed piercings or tattoos till after I drop, so I got a new set of jammies , a new book and some new earrings! I also got an email saying that I passed my foundation degree in mixed humanities and art, with a GPA off 4.00. So a yay me!

Well that’s us, how are you all doing?

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

bdsm, Diary, Little, Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Oppss I did it again…..

Well world I have gone and landed myself in trouble , again, big trouble this time 🙁 See this week has been massively full om for me. I have been writing courses content, presentation for a 3 day conferences and trying to sort classes out in the UK from the USA. I have been running around trying to be everything to everyone. I have been forgetting to eat at times and not taking naps when I need to. I have put myself down, I have allowed myself to be belittled by people and taken to heart some silly comments from unkind people. So Maîtriser has told me I have to list everything I have done and then the punishment for this and then post it on my blog. So here goes….

  1. I have not been eating my 3 meals a day and forgetting to have my 3 snacks a day.
  2. I have put myself down a total of 15 times in a row, even after being given warnings.
  3. I said I looked fat and that maîtriser is crazy for still wanting me when I’m fat and ugly .
  4. I pushed Kitten away when she trying to comfort me.
  5. I forgot to eat before bed on 3 nights, leading to 3 hypo .
  6. I refused to let Babe drive when I was tired and need her help.
  7. I grumped at my great Aunty May .
  8. I forgot to test my blood sugar levels for 3 days.
  9. I took a Skype call  from my Daddy with out someone with me.
  10. I took an email from my sister to heart, when she had no right to say what she did.
  11. I refused to take my afternoon naps.
  12. I took on more work than I could handle and refused help when it was offered.
  13. I refused help with my chores.
  14. I said I was fine when I came over faint in the groceries store.
  15. I went to mass when i was meant to be resting.

My punishment is as fallows. For the next 2 weeks maîtriser we chose what i wear, eat and how i spend all my free time. I am to take an afternoon nap between 3.30 pm and 4.30pm every day. I am to do everything i am told without answering back, if maîtriser is not about to tell me what I should be doing i must ask Babe. i have lost the right to my alone time for the 2 weeks . i am not allowed to speak to my sisters or father without maîtriser for the next 2 weeks. All emails, social media and blog post must be joked by maîtriser, Babe or Sir Beasty. I am to eat 3 times a day, have 3 healthy snacks a day and i must drink 3 litter of fluids a day. I am on a total caffeine ban for the next 2 weeks and i am not to have soda. i must have my phone with me at all times and i must not leave the house without Bella and one of the girls. i am not to go over 100000 steps in one day. i am not allowed to drive for 2 weeks, I must keep my diary and list all sleep, food and bs level in it. all this has been done for my own sake and i must try harder not to break my rules.

Well that’s it! See not all punishments are about spankings and kinky stuff. This for me has really hits me where it hurts , being made to very publicly admit what I have done and how i fucked up is really hard, to have my free time and freedom to answer back is going to be so hard. but i know that it’s done out of love , concern and so i look after myself better.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

30 days of D/s, bdsm, Little, Loving BDSM, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

What Titles and Labels Do You Prefer?

So today’s talking / thinking point for the Loving Bdsm 30 days of D/s is names , titles and labels. which we sat and talked about at dinner last night with friends, and ended with tears of laughter!

Now before I ramble at you all I will tell you at little story! I suffer from depression and a really horrid anxiety disorder. its controlled with drugs and CBT , but when I get stressed one of the odd things that happens is I forget the names of things and of people. I will have been on the phone EON and I get so het up that I will ask kitten to put the oven on to get the dishes clean or to turn the tv off so the dogs can go out, which is funny , I know I’m a riot! But the name thing can be hard to cope with. So I came up with away to deal with it that is a little weird, but seems to work and make people smile! When I get stressed or nerves every ones name becomes Bob, whether its family , friends , the girls , clients or my dogs. Lol , now at home if I call bob all the girls , the frog and all 7 dogs come and find out what I want! I also start any training class or course I’m leading by saying ‘ I have anxiety issues , that means when I get stressed I forget the names of stuff and people , so if I call you bob or by your dog’s name I’m not being rude, I just cant get your right name!’ . works a bloody treat!

titles are a thing I struggle with in the D/s world , cos with an anxiety disorder I get so flipping het up trying to figure out what call other people’s Doms or Doms in generale , lol I think I hate a break down on twitter a few weeks back. Female Doms I stick of mistress, unless I have My Dom and their punishment to call them something else (and then I still feel anxious about it!) Male Doms are , to me a flipping mindfield, well in my head at least.  My Dom is called maîtriser in public and most of the time at home and some times Boss or Bossman . But i refuse to call another man in public Master when their not ‘my ‘ Master, it just does not sit right with me! So after a lot of talking and thinking i now stick to Sir or Mr whatever your name is. I think the being ok with calling female doms ‘Mistress’ come from the facts that maîtriser lets us sub to some of them sometimes. (ahh the joy of being sub , poly and bi!)

What to call subs , is again in my little head a minefield! At home the girls and I call each other Mouse, Kitten , Babe and Bear. Christian names only get used in polite company or if maîtriser is pissed at us! But what do you call some one else sub or slave?! So I now ask maîtriser to ask their Dom if its ok for me to talk to their sub and what I should call them. It’s long-winded, but it works for me and saves me have a full-blown break down. Once I know them , I quit often use end up using their first name or a pet name that they say is ok to use.

Pet names are really odd things too! I mean me and the girls have ares and most people think they are just sub sort names , but they are so not what you would think. Kitten got hers cos she perrs and mews when she is about to come. Babe is got hers cos when she walks past and people are like ‘  what a babe!’.  Little bear got hers cos she is the groups ‘little’ and cos she likes cuddle. I get called mouse cos I’m really shy and quiet (no really I am) and cos I’m a homebody at heart! maîtriser gets called Boss man , cos well he is the Boss and he has away of getting people to work without knowing it!

I have several friends that have gone from first name to pet names. I have a male sub friend , who I call snuggles. He got his name from when I was in hospital , after my brain broke and I could not sleep, he would stay up talking to till the wee hours and most of the time I sort of snuggled in and fell asleep (I should add that I have a very bad habit of fulling asleep on people when snuggling). Then I have an online friend , who I call MR !”£$ , cos calling him by his first name feels really odd! I also have are dear Sir Beasty. He’s a strange one , he never once said anything about being Dom or BDSM. I think it was actually me who brought it up (ok I talk about sex to anyone who will listen , cos well I like it and I’m kinda good at it!). But the is just something about him that IS Dom. He has been to me a massive help with so much, he is a very dear and cherished friend, but I can’t address him by his first name , so from after knowing him I started calling him Sir. The girls and I kind call him Beast as a term of affection or Beasty , so now he is are dear Sir Beasty!

Me and the girls also seem to have a list of names or affectionate insults that we use on each other. Doris is a good one for me , when I’m having a brain fart or a melt down. Numpty is another one for when any of us make a silly . Any of the men folk we are close to or play with get it too, Bum face , knob jockey or cactus are just a few of are terms of affection for are friends! lol Yeah , we only insult people we like! lol

The are names that I will not under any instance allow people to call me. Bitch, Whore , Slut or slave. Cos , well I’m not any of them and I personally find them really insulting and hurtful.

But with Me / us the is one name that only a very few will get called by Me/ us . its something that takes a lot of trust, love and care for us to use it. :It means you are always part of are lives, no mater what . That name is ‘Family’ and to us Family is everything!

Ok so that’s todays ramble over and done! Blimey , who would have thought names and titles could mean so much!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

bdsm, Little, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Ramblings from a hotel room….

Well good evening to you all!

So I’m working away from home, I’m stuck in a hotel room with my little bear. We are under orders to behave. No porn , no booze , no screwing (in the words of sir beasty little being a girl!). So we have Master chef , sweets and coke! (diet caffeine free) . We have both had a bath, washed hair and jammies on!

It may sound odd that cos I’m working away the bear had to come with me , but its one of the may rules that Maitriser has but in place so we are safe and cared for at all times. We do have a lot of rules that are like that. it’s not that we are fragile little flowers, more the fact that we all have been broken and done silly stuff. So we have rules to make sure we don’t do them any more! I have a lot more rules than the rest of the girls and maitriser has a huge amount of control over my day-to-day life. But only because some I wanted and asked for it to be that way.

We also have different take on punishment than most people in D/s type relationships. We have things that we just don’t do, never , ever! but maitriser has a sort of 5 * thing. For me I get 1* punishment for things like putting myself down or forgetting to check my blood sugar. 5* punishment would be for something along the lines of not asking to leave when I need to or swearing or forgetting to take my  phone with me.

Maitriser sets us goals for stuff , which we sit down and talk about . Mines are a mix of personal stuff like wanting to be able to do certain yoga moves and to keep my 4.0 grade average. To work / family stuff Like to write and teach a new course or to clear out the spare room. I also have sort kinky / D/s stuff like getting more confident at being on top for sex and the length of time I can hold off coming!

But the thing I love the most are Rewards! (like everyone!!!) . we all have different ones , but some are the same. Like extra cuddle, getting to play with each other or being allowed to ask for what we want in the bedroom or a club. We have gift type rewards for things like good grades , not having a panic attack for a week or completing all are tasks set out for the day. my rewards are books, letter writing stuff, stuffies, Lego and posh undies!

I , unlike the girls have a lot rules that have been set down to do with my mental health. I have suffered all my life with anxiety and for more the 13 years with depression. A few years ago things went very badly wrong in my relationship and after being beat up and raped , I tried and thankfully failed to take my own life. I was diagnosed as having very serve PTSD , depression and GAD. It’s taken a hell of  lot of work on my #self with the help of an awesome Therapy Doris, the girls and my wonderful Maitiser , to put myself back together. So i have ones that state that I’m not allowed to harm myself , that i must keep going to therapy and how to deal with anxiety attacks. My rewards for sticking to these rules are extra free time, not having to answer my phone or being allowed to do more self-care stuff. (I love myself care time).

So that’s my ramble about rules, punishment and rewards!

Hugs and kisses,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

 


bdsm, Diary, Little, Poly life, Uncategorized

Little me!

So until the last 6 months or so , I would of said I differently of said the I didn’t have a little side to me . I in fact never really never got the whole DDbg thing. But then the Boss man ask me to think about it for a while and talked to people . When I finally got my head round what being a little really meant, I had to admit, that I to have a little side too! For me its more about escape from the big scary world, away of relaxing and me letting someone take care of me.  So after exploring some more , the Boss man set me a challenge of writing a list of 20 things that make me a little bit little! So here it is…

  • I am a Tomboy
  • I love playing with Lego
  • Love my colouring books
  • Love bedtime stories
  • Loves Disney and dream works films
  • Loves cuddling
  • Loves being taken care of and fussed over
  • Love having my hair brushed
  • Love when the Boss man orders for me.
  • Loves Bath time
  • Loves slumber parties
  • Loves being given chores and tasks
  • Loves my pet names
  • the words ‘how’s my girl’ turn me to mush.
  • I get spooked and frightened easily
  • Loves hot milk, marshmallows and gingerbread men
  • Loves my Jammies and slippers
  • Hates being BIC (Bird in charge)
  • Live to make Boss man Happy and proud
  • Loves doing stuff with the girls, like craft, home work or being silly

Well that’s little me!

Hugs and Kisses,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ha