From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life

Playtime with Miss Kitty.

Now that things have stepped up with me and kitten a little bit, now that I wear her tag and she is officially my dominant, well we have started to have our little playtimes, just the two of us. It’s sweet and tender, playing to both of our ‘Little’ sides. But it leaves me knowing that she is definitely the one in control, with the right amount of pain and force that I love, but all the time leaving me knowing I’m special and loved.

One of the things I really love about play time with my Miss Kitty, is that there is normally a surprise. I will come home from shopping or my English class to find things laid out on the bed for me. Something to wear, a change of collar, cuffs, rope, and toys. The last play time we had was very special and full of little firsts, for both of us.

It was Kitten’s day off and I had been to the supermarket. I came home to find things laid out on the bed. My black lace baby doll, my thick purple collar, the 2 new paddles I had bought for my Miss, my clit and nipple clamps and some of our toys. Just seeing them laying on the bed, well it made my heartbeat kick up a notch and my nipples started to get hard.
Next to the toys was my unicorn stuffy, Stephen and under him the was a note. It said I should go take a quick shower, put my hair in a ponytail, with my purple ribbon, freshen my makeup if I wanted to, then make my way back to the bedroom, dress, text Kitten and wait for her to come and find me. I was to kneel or sit cross-legged, eyes downcast and my collar in my hand, ready for her to change it. Well, that is enough to steer me into action.

Dashing to the bathroom, I strip my clothes off as I go, remembering to dump them in the laundry basket and not on the floor. Then I grab a clean towel, turn the water on and the shower on high, stepping under the lukewarm water. I quickly wash myself with my banana body wash, check that my legs and armpits are free from hair, knowing very well that my pussy is hair free, as Maîtres took care of that last night. Turning off the water, I rub myself dry with the fluffy towel, then put on banana scented body cream. Looking in the mirror to check my make up, and decide all I need is a light lip balm. Then it’s back the bedroom, grabbing my hairbrush and speedily pull my hair into a high ponytail and then tie the purple ribbon in a bow, making sure it looks neat and tidy. Moving to the bed, I pull on the sexy lace boy shorts and the lace baby doll that Kitten has laid out for me. I drop her a text saying ‘ready’ and hop up on the bed choosing to kneel holding my play collar in my hand, eyes cast down, back straight, just how Maîtres and Babe have trained me to.

Kitten must have been hiding in the workroom because I can hear her making her way upstairs, then I can feel her eyes on me, as she comes to the bed. Tipping my chin up with her finger and taking my collar in her other hand, she places it on the bed, removes my day collar and places it on the dresser, returning to pick my play collar up and placing it around my neck, buckling it and padlocking it. Then she asks for my wrist, then ankles and places my cuffs on them then asks me to sit in my inspection pose. Still not making eye contact, I move to inspection for her, with my hands behind my head, back straight and legs open.

She walks around the bed, not touching me but, inspecting me with her eyes. I feel them burning into my skin, I can feel myself start to shake a little and I know I’m getting wet as hell. Then I feel a feather-light finger run from my thigh, up my torso, skim the underside of my breast, over my collarbone and under my chin. Tilting my head up and placing them sweet tasting lips on mine. A soft and gentle kiss that could only come from my Miss. It ends too soon, and I keep my eyes closed to savor it a little longer. I feel a sharp flick to my left nipple and a soft chuckling voice telling me to open my eyes and concentrate. When I open my eyes, I’m met with a lovely sight. My Kitten has become Miss Kitty, still the girl I love, but with an edge that I adore. She is dressed in a grey pencil skirt, white shirt and black waspy, and has definitely not remembered to wear a bra.

With a soft, commanding tone, I’m told to hold still, as my breasts are removed from my baby doll, and my nipples get pinched hard, and then my clamps are attached and tightened. Making me wince a little, even more, when she flicks them hard. Then I get told to remove my panties and hand them to her, knowing they are damp with my juices. Blushing I hand them over to her and the blush gets deeper when she lifts them to her nose and sniffs. knowing she knows how turned on by the prospect of our play is thrilling.

Then there is that soft, commanding tone again telling me to lie on my back and show her my pussy. She helps me lay back, taking a pillow and placing it under my hips and bum, raising my pussy up and closer to her gear eyes. By this point, I’m leaking like a sieve and all its going to take to make me come is breathing on my clit, sensing this, she decides to be nice and allow me to come before we go any further. She takes the purple bullet vibe and turning it on low, places it on my clit and tells me to cum, and god do I cum. Hard, fast, and completely. We’re talking squirting, shaking, and shattering here.

When it ebbs away, I feel a sharp slap from a paddle on my pussy, not realising that I had shut my legs tightly. she tells me to open, and I open my legs wide, like a good girl. Then I get pushed to lay on my back, so I can’t see what she is doing, but I soon find out as I feel my clit being clamped, having to bite hard on my lip as to not yelp as she tightens it. It is one of my favorite pains, but straight after a climax, well I had to bite so hard on my lip, it is bleeding a little.

She then orders me into my humble pose, but with a pillow under my tummy to make sure my bump is safe. Next thing I feel is the sting of the leather paddle on my bare bottom, then it makes contact repeatedly, over, and over. Making my hips sway a little, sending little shock waves through my clamped clit and pushing me forward, coursing added friction to my clamped nipples. Blow after blow, and with each strike, a little squeak comes from my mouth. Then as suddenly as they started, they stop, replaced by her finger running over the burning welts on my skin, running them round up and down the crack of my arse and the lips of my pussy. She pushes 3 fingers inside my hungry little cunt and stubs my clamped clit with her thumb and within seconds I’m begging to cum again, to which I get a smile and a yes. That’s when a shattering climax hits me again, a very wet one!

Then she has me turn, I’m laying with head in the middle of the bed and feet facing the head, she threads a rope through the ankle cuffs, and hoist each leg up and ties them to the headboard of the bed. She then goes to work cuffing my hands together and tethering above my head and to the foot of the bed. She massages some feeling back into my now unclamped clit while flicking my still clamped nipples. Reaching behind me she grabs our massive Adam dildo and the lube, and slowly at first, she starts to fuck me with it, then turns the insisted vibrator on and fucks me harder and harder. Making me beg to cum, refusing and then backing off again and then working me up again, and again, till I’m crying with the built-up need, then she adds a bullet vibe to my clit and tells me to cum. I do and again it’s a very loud and wet climax.

She then unties my hands, makes her way to the bed, hitches her skirt up and promptly straddles my face. I open her lips and start to fuck her pussy with 2 fingers and use my tongue and teeth on her clothes, which grinds and glides on my face, knowing how much I adore her doing this, but it still catches me off guard when she comes, squirting her juices all over my face. Collapsing to the side and pulling in for a kiss. We snuggle close for long minutes, telling each other how well we did, her saying how proud I make and my squealing with delight. But at the back of my mind, I know play time is far from over, and there is much more wonderful fun to come.

But I’ll save that for another time my darlings…

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life, Uncategorized

Myth Busting – Poly and swingers’ addition.

 

So, I have a little bit of a bee in my bonnet of late about people judging me and my ‘poly ‘family’s life style choices. I think its more of a ‘oh well this is my experience of poly, so yours has to be the same’, sort of thing. But it has me thinking about the myths and bull squirt that surround the whole Poly / Swinger lifestyle. So, I put it out to the wonder that is kinky twitter and as always people jumped in to help! So, lets bust this myth in the bum, shall we?

“Polyamory and Swinging are the same thing.”- So I thought I would start with the sort of elephant in the room. Swinging and Polyamory are not the same thing. They have an awful lot of things in common, but also some aspects are very much not the same. If you look at it, the term means, then it sorts of bust the myth on its own. Polyamory is the ability to love more than one person at the same time. Swinging, is when either single or people in a committed relationship, are non-monogamous sexually. But there are a lot of grey areas and a lot of overlap. But I guess like all relationship and dynamic, they are both special and unique. They take a lot of trust and love to enter into and are not for everyone. There are those who say that swingers are out for sexual gratification and that all Poly people are in it for love and commitment, but again that is not true either. I personally know one swinger couple that have been together and had the same play partners for 15 years. What I personally hate is how both groups judge each other, it is just plain stupid. We cannot again try to get on and support each other and our lifestyle choices then, how the flip should other normal people begin to try and understand.

‘You will sleep with / fuck / play with anyone.’ – This is the thing I find really insulting. I personally am fussy about who I play with, as is Daddy and the girls. Thinking about everyone I know in the lifestyle, they are picky. My friend Amma, well she goes as far as running background checks on her partners. What I do know is that people in both worlds are very hot on protection, personal safety and consent, so that to me is a big Plus!

‘All they really do is cheat on their partners.’ – Palm forehead! I have been poly for 17 years and I can hand on heart say, that I have never cheated on any of my partners. I’ve been cheated on, by my ex, but he was a! $%£”^!. We as a poly family, tell each other who and when we play with others away from the family. We also have very clear guidelines on what cheating would be, basically anything we would not let the others do, without telling the rest of us. Lol we always talk, are open and honest. Maîtres says sometimes we talk things to death. All this boils’ down to, for us at least, is that there is no cheating if we all know what is going on, we are all happy with that and we don’t hide things from each other.

‘All swinger / poly is bi-sexual.’ – Again massively wrong! I am bi, but I would be bi no matter what, if it meant I was with just one person or many. Maîtres is poly, but he is not bi. If we play with another guy, then he will watch or sort of tag team. But I know a lot of poly groups that they both only find opposite sex partners attractive and they only have them as partners.

‘We hate monogamous people / want to convert them all.’ – This makes me angry as flip. It’s like saying all gay people are trying to convert all straight people. (Yes, I know some stupid people think that). I for one think if you are in a committed monogamous relationship, then wow! Like I would if you were in a committed poly. I think commitment is sexy AF! But thinking that just because someone is poly or swings means that they think everyone should be just plain dumb and rude.
‘We fancy everyone.’ – Oh the amount of times I’ve heard this! Its like saying that all women fancy all men. Its physically imposable to be attracted to everyone. Everyone has a ‘type’ and that still happens if your poly, swing, your bi, straight, or gay.

‘Everything we do is sexual.’ – Again, dah no! If we made everything sexual, I for one would be very board, get no work done and be homeless! Poly and swingers alike do normal things like cleaning the loo, cooking dinner, and paying the bills. Its not like a big shiny porn thing where the woman cleaning the bath ends up fucking the gardener. We are normal people too!

‘If your poly or a swinger, it’s never cheating.’ – Like hell its not! I know damned straight that if I was to fuck someone behind my husbands back or any of the girls then it is cheating. We, as do all Poly and swingers, have rules around about playing or fucking other people. Just because you have more than one partner does not mean that you are a cheater. My rules for other people are never do anything without the others knowing, always tell Maîtres where and what I am doing and never bring someone home without talking to the rest of the family. What I think this says about both communities is that we have the ability to trust and can communicate our feelings in a very grown up way.

‘We never get jealous.’ – Bull squirt again. Jealously is a very basic human feeling and all humans feel it at times. If you don’t, then you’re a bloody machine and lying about being human. I have 3 male partners and 3 female partners, and sometimes I get jealous about who is spending time with whom. One male partner is LDR and I get jealous about the women he might be seeing. I get jealous of Kitten seeing her ex. I even threatened to pee on Maîtres because his PA kept trying to be over friendly. But unlike normal people, if we get jealous we talk about it. See we are awfully grown up about things!

‘You don’t really love someone if you want to be with others.’ – Groan, Really!!! Well I love all my partners and I am committed to all of them. Hell, I would marry Kitten if I could. Love and life do not conform to stereotypes and normality is a myth in my mind!

‘All they do is have orgies.’ – As if! Dear Lord, not even orgies are what people think they are. I personally love when I get a little one on one time with a partner, its extra special. I would also like to point out a lot of the ‘orgies’ we have are just normal sex. People fart, stub toes, get cramp or sneeze like everyone else. We just do that with more people at once. Not all Poly people have more than one person at a time and a lot of swingers don’t like the whole swingers party scene. Its each to their own.

Well I hope that busts a few myths people!

Pixie x

Masturbation Monday, Poly life

Afternoon itch….

Afternoon itch….
Do you ever get to a point, say mid afternoon that you’re just plain fucking horny? Well I do, alarmingly often these days. Being pregnant has sent my libido into overdrive lately. I get to nap time and it hits me full force, the tiniest thing makes me horny, to the point I normally have to make a desperate plea Maîtres be allowed to play and cum. It starts as a slight throb of my clit; my pulse picks up a little. I get a hot flush spread through my body, creeping slowly upwards and outwards warming my cheeks, flushing my breast, and turning my nipples to rock hard burning little nubs. The throbbing of my clit gets stronger and stronger, to the point of hurting. My breathing hitches up, I start to shake and feel like I would cum if I sneezed. It leaves me dripping wet and I am having to change my panties 2 or 3 times a day.
Another thing that seems to have happened is that I have gone from extremely submissive, to even more submissive. Not in a bad way, well I don’t think so. In a wanting to serve Maîtres and my other Dominates and big. To be used to bring them pleasure, without any regard for my own wants or needs. I want to be used, fucked, and make them cum.
This is what happened yesterday. I had watched Steve mowing the lawns in just shorts, no top and sweating with the exertion. The throbbing started and was rapidly building, causing a cramping feeling in my tummy. All I wanted to do was sink to my knees and worship his thick cock with my mouth and make him cum, hoping he lets my swallow. The only drawback is I’m not allowed to play without asking Maîtres first. I got up out of my chair, grabbed my iPad, praying that he was online, that he was in a good mood and that I would be allowed to play. He was, he was happy, and he said to go play, please and cum, but only if I wrote about it afterward. Well, that sent a gash to my pussy and my panties were drenched.
Steve was back in the house by this time, and I was needing to submit, and he has a beautiful cock. I stripped my clothes off in record time, ran my fingers through my hair and checked myself in the mirror. Then I crept downstairs to the living room, dropped to my knees and crawled as quietly as I could to where Steve was, relaxing in the leather armchair. Getting to about 6 ft from where he was, I cleared my throat. Steve’s eyes shot open, and I think his jaw hit the ground and his cock got stretch marks with the speed it jumped to attention. I crawled up to him and between his legs, I could feel the damp heat of his sweat as I lay my head on his knees. Looking down at me, I got ‘what girl?’ nuzzling my cheek into his cock and peering slightly, I looked up through lowered lashes ‘please’. That was met with a nod of the head and I swung into action.
Moving to a squatting position, I push Steve up and into a standing position. Pulling his shorts down, letting his cock spring free, not breaking eye contact the whole while. I take his cock in my hands and give it a few slow pumps and kiss the head, licking the pre-cum off it. I know how Steve likes a girl to go down on him, I knew not to go too hard and fast at the start. To take my time, using slow, deli part movements. That he likes his ball massaged, a finger runs around his ass hole, but not in it. He loves a slight corkscrew movement, that he likes to go as far down your throat as he can, even when you gag because of the size of him.
It heats up the minute his hand finds its way into my hair, gripping tightly and taking over full control, as he blissfully fucks my mouth. He grabs my hands in his paw like grip, making sure I don’t ‘cheat ‘. I can feel my juices running down my thighs. I have tears streaming down my face, from the force he is now using to fuck my throat. I know I look like a greedy little slut and I don’t give a flying fuck. Harder, faster and the more turned on I feel myself getting, I swear I’m making puddles on the floor. Then Steve’s grip tightens, his breathing speeds up and his thrust becomes deeper. Then with a roar, he cums, sending his delicious, hot cum down my throat. Squirt after squirt, hot, sweet, and salty. I almost cum there on the spot.
But then Steve is pulling me, bending me at the waist over the arm of an armchair, kicking my feet apart. He shoves three fingers into my pussy, curving them so they roughly hit my g-spot, while his thumb stabs at my clit. His other hand holds my neck down, so I can’t see what is happening, just feel. Then in a commanding tone, I get told ‘Come girl, now, this second.’ Every contract, over and over as I cum, with a scream. It’s so intense that my eyes roll back in my head, and so total that I squirt so hard and so much that I feel it hitting the floor and my feet. If it had not been for his strong arm and the armchair, I would have been in a heap on the floor. I was shaking, sweating and not quite sure what was going on. It was only Steve stroking my back telling me I was a good girl, then I came back down to earth. Standing me up straight and showing his hand covered in my cum. Out of instinct I stuck his fingers into my mouth and licked them clean. Steve collapsed into the chair and we spent the next 15 minutes making out and coming back down to earth, which was almost as lovely as playing with his cock.
Sometimes I need to do things like this. They are not just acts of service and submission, but they are acts of bravery and empowerment. I knew what I needed, I went after it and got my reward. It takes a strong woman to know what she wants and an even stronger one to go after it. So what if I needed to crawl on my knees, ask a guy to let me suck his cock and to use me? I’m happy, loved, and safe. I have my right to live how I want, and that is as a proudly submissive woman, who is a little bad sass with it!

https://masturbationmonday.kaylalords.com/masturbation-monday-204/

bdsm, family update, Poly life, Uncategorized

Us.

Pixie has been nagging me to write for her for a long while. I say nagging, but it’s been more of a giggling prod in the chest, followed be begging and normally ending with pixie oh her knees and my cock in her mouth. Sorry as pixie would say over share. So today while my darling girl is laid up , pretty sick in hospital I thought I would take over her blog for a bit.

We as a family have of late had a lot of stuff to deal with, that is not anything to do with kinky, D/s or Poly . Working away, deaths of friends, Pixie health problems and bullies. We have also as a family, had to deal with some pretty small minded people, judging and being cactuses. (Again stealing pixie’s words) . leading a Poly life , that we don’t hide has never, is not or will it ever be easy or free from judgment. We all know and except that. What we don’t except is people making a judgement, think all polygamist relationships are the same, and without even asking us about are set up. It’s just rude and hurtful. We are open , not only to the possibility of new play partners, but to questions. So I thought. Would try and explain are take on things and are set up.

As any one who reads pixie’s blog will Know we identify as an Open Poly family, with a strong D/s Dynamic. We are also High protocol, with my girls having strict rules and high expectations of how they are to act. But above all we are all partners , with our own roles in the family and our on special bound to each other. We also are very committed to each other and live together. Choosing to share are lives and loves with each other.

So the part that we find people misunderstand the most is the Open Poly family part. So the ‘Open’ part, for us means that we are open to meeting and adding partners to are dynamic. Opposed to ‘closed’ to new partners. This does not however mean we play or fuck just anyone. Know we spend a long time getting to know new partners first. The ‘poly’ part refers to us being polyamorous. This does not mean we are always looking for a hook up, or fancy every person who walks the earth or that we are swingers. (Not knocking swingers at all, it’s just not what we are). To us it means we have the ability to love in a romantic and sexual way, more than one person. Are style of poly means we all have sex with each partner in are set up . ok so I’m the straight one in are set up, I’m not bi like my girls and other male partners. But I do love watching the girls play with the guys in are dynamic. The family part refers to are set up at home. We have chosen to all live together, it works for us and makes us happy. But we also have family that are none poly family. We say family, but they are friends we class as family. All of us have or had biological families that are strained or broken. So we sort of formed are own little family, of the people we love and wanted in our lives. The is also pixie’s Great Auntie May and Great Uncle Fred, who are sort of adopted grandparents to my girls, and they are a very good and calming influence on them. The is also my mama, who has become to pixie the mother she has always needed in her life, and pixie is the daughter she always wanted.

As for are D/s , well I will star at the beginning. I am the Big D or Maîtser to all 4 of the girls in our dynamic. Babe is a switch , who leans more to the top side of things. She is referred to a are little D or my second in command. She is the one the girls turn to if I’m not about. She is also the one who deals out spankings with a hair brush when pixie misbehaves????. We then come to kitten, again she is a switch, but is more of a bottom. She has also recently become pixie’s official Miss . Pixie has a tag and padlock form Kitten, that is sort of a sign of their commitment to each other. I think if pixie could be married to me and Kitten , she would. Truth be known, I would be more than happy for that. I know pixie loves me and I know how much they love each other, and have for almost 18 years. I would never dream of telling pixie to choose between us, that would be straight up cruel. Now we come to Little bear, submissive , who is known as the family little and brat. She also has a fiancé, who works abroad a lot of the time. He is her ‘daddy’ and switch top to pixie and kitten. Then we have ‘Big’ Steve. He is Dom , who join are dynamic recently. He is Dom / big to all the girls, except Babe. She and he are equals and sort of co-Doms. I personally love watching these two working my girls. Then we have Muss. His new to the family and is are LDR partner. Switch and will move between Dom/ Sub within are dynamic. Last put not least, is little miss mouse. She is submissive to everyone in are family except little bear, who she is sort of a Big S to. Bless mouse she really does not like being in charge or Dom in any form. Don’t get me wrong she runs the house, gets people doing what needs to be done and handles her work life amazingly. But ask her to tell people what to do or be in control of anything , and the will be tear and stamping of feet.

As I said are D/s is very high protocol, which I guess sounds a little scary to the outside of the world. It’s not really. It simply means I believe, as do the girls that you show respect for or dynamic, take pride in your Dominance or submission and want to make the others proud of each other . Protocols are there so we all know how to act and behave in any situation . I and the girls also have contracts with each other. Setting out rights, personal protocols and rules. They range from 2 pages for Mine and Babes , to 15 pages for Pixie. She always jokes that she has a copy on her iPad , but it’s not a joke, she really does. I’m going say here that pixie and my relationship is extreme, complex and her submission is complete. By that I mean that I have control over every aspect of her life. From what time she gets up, what she eats , wears and does in her day. It has taken a very long time to get to this point, and we sit down and talk about levels and rules at least once every month. But I will also say that it is not a TPE. All my girls have the right,to ask questions, disagree with me , if done politely and respectfully, and are free to have there own opinions. I also like my women to bite and scratch a little????

Within are D/s dynamic we have all sorts of rolls and labels, far to many to go into them in depth. But they include Dom / sub , sadist and masochist and CG/ little. We all have different kinks and fetishes , but we all have respect each other’s limits and triggers.

So that’s my take on us and the life we choose to lead. It’s not for all, it’s an extreme end of the poly and D/s spectrum, and like all relationships is unique. All we ask is you don’t judge us before you get to know us, have an open mind and ask questions .

Antoine, aka The Boss Man.

From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life

Love is…

Love is supporting, without judgement or criticism.

Love is giving without expecting anything in return.

Love is caring, worrying and want the best for a person, even if that means being without them.

Love is guiding, nurturing, and protecting, without condescension.

Love is giving binderies, respecting limits, and never braking trust.

Loving is not allowing behaviours that will hurt or damage a person, even when they don’t see that harm or damage.

Love is encouraging, whether it’s a tiny step or a life changing goal.

Love is pushing you out of your comfort zone, when you don’t want to, or everything is to scary

Love is trying to not hurt others, even when your hurting or in pain.

Love is standing be someone, and letting them fix themselves, but catching them if they fall.

Love is 3 am chess games, lunch time phone calls and welcome home kisses.

Love is not hurting someone, unless they ask it too.

Love is what ever you need it to be, when you need it to be, where you need it to be.

Love is, simply love, pure and simple.

 

For my Maister, with love

Pixie Heart.

From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life, social

Twitter followers give away, with tigger’s collars!

1000 Twitter followers give away, with tigger’s collars!

So a few weeks ago I was taking a stroll round Etsy , looking for a birthday present for my daddy (my father). When I stumbled across the most beautiful folio case ever, In lilac and baby blue. That takes a A4 pad of paper , with little pockets and clips for my pen and pencils. The downs side , well the fact that It cost almost £100! I can’t get my head round spending that much on myself or would I. So I took it to maîtser and asked if the was away to ‘earn it’. Him being my wonderful , fun Dom he came up with a list of tasks and challenges for me to work, with the end reward being the folio case. One of the goals was to get my twitter following from 666 to 1000. Well We’ve changed a few, due to work load , my mother illness and her passing and finding out we have baby number 3 on the way! But the twitter one stayed the same. The closer I got to the big the 1000 mark ,the more I wanted to do something to say thank you to lovely people who followed me. But I wanted It to be something very pixie-ish. Not being able to post unicorns to people, the next biggest pixie-ish thing I. Outdoor think of was my collar, and when I think collar , I think tigger’s collars! So I quite boldly, well for me asked tigger if I could give a gift voucher for her online store away, and it was met with a massive yes!

I have been a massive fan of tigger’s collar for a long time. They are beautifully made, with love and care . They are quality , leather , vegan leather or pvc based . With fabulous ready to wear options, that sing to my little, submissive side. Put by far the best bit is the build your own option! I have 3 of them, and I would wear them 24/ 7 if I could , but I can’t really wear my princess collar or spiked one to mass on Sunday, but I would if I could! With tigger you can pretty much email her and say can I have it x, y and z?and she will pretty much be able to make you , your dream collar. Then the is the arrival of your collar. Dear lord, all I will say is it’s like a birthday, Christmas and all your treats in a discrete little box In the post. Lol master says that every sub / little / kitten / princess should get to open a tiggers’s collar at one point in their life. Lol.

So fast forward to now, and I have 1000 followers and we have a give away! So what / how is going to work? Well I’m posting a tweet, saying to enter like this tweet to enter, names will be noted and after 10days, it will be closed , names go in a hat and a very lucky winner will be drawn! The is also going to be 3 small prizes of pixie post for 3 little’s as well , to sort of celebrate the birth of the undercover little! So let’s get this started!

Pixie x

Ps -this Is being posted by kitten , as pixie pops is poorly, but really wanted to get this going!

From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life, social, Uncategorized

The undercover little

The undercover little!

I identify as a little and sort of came out as little about about 18 months ago, but I’m not what people think of when they think of a ‘little’. I’m not in to onesies, sippy cups, or pacifiers. Not that the is anything wrong with that, it’s just not my thing. But I have found that as time has worn on I have started to have my own littleismas. From the way I talk, to bouncing up and down when I get excited, to what I eat and the things I do for fun. But one of the first things that kind of changed was my way of dressing . Now don’t get my wrong , I don’t wear child like cloths or in your face little, but the have changes are very stubble changes and they have made me a lot more comfortable in my own skin.

Thinking about the way I dress and how it changed , I can see the time that things changed, was when maîtser came in to my life (????). I was kind of dressing for comfort, ease and without wanting to stand out. Maîtser kind of got me taking pride in my appearance and the way I dress. I guess you could say I start to dress in away that pleased him. He also put in to my rules , ones for how he wanted me to dress . One is that I am to wear girlie bras and panties, with a camie in the winter (he likes me to keep warm as much a posable). He also likes my dressing in a feminine manner and when ever possible wear dresses. Most days he will give me a choice of 3 outfits, and ask me to pick which one I want to wear. The biggest rule I have though is that I am to dress in a lady like manner, never overly sexy or showy , unless maîtser is with me.

Two areas that I always like to keep ‘little’ are my feet and my hair. I have collection of silly sock, with things like my little pony, pushine and unicorns on them. They alway make me happy, feel a little bit little and like I have a piece of maîtser with me. I never wear high heals , unless I’m going dancing . Instead I wear flat Mary-jane’s or ballet pumps, and sneakers or boots if I’m working. I always , also have painted toe nails, normally purple or pink. As for hair , well I have shoulder length hair , with a wispy fringe. I either wear it down and naturally curly or have it up. Either in pig tails, a pony tail or braided. I have My girlie bands and pretty ribbons for my hairs too! Babe will quit often do my hair for me and hair favourite way she does it is down and curly, with a ribbon holding it back. She also dies it pretty colours as well .

I guess I now have my ‘little‘ uniform, it’s kind of a realign against the norm sort of a look. I have never really followed fashion, which is wired as I work for a fashion house for. Long time. As a teenager and in to my early twenties I was a kind of skater girl / emo / rocky chick sort of a girl. Lol my god son says I was queen of emo, before it was fashionable.(his 19) but sines I have embraced my little side more, that look has changed a lot. I’m now more of a punky, princess with a shy side. But I also have my little , little bits . I have pin badges, earrings and a whole host of unicorn t-shirts.

I guess for me it’s been a sort of finding my fit sort of a thing. You uwould not be able to guess I’m a little , unless you knew what a little was, and not really then. Maîtser says I have become his punky little princess, comfy in her own skin, and unapologetically me!

Hugs,

Pixie x

Ps- all the talk of the undercover little has got me and kitten thinking of setting up a little craft shop on Etsy , but more of this later!

Eroticon, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life, social

The things I took away from Eroticon.

 

Well I thought I would join in with a post Eroticon post. I have limited myself, because if I listed everything I have taken away from it I would be here till next year’s Eroticon. (yes, that does mean I’m going next year and I’ve started saving already) So here goes.
. A goodie bag to end all goodie bags! Ok, so I had to start with the good bag, it was that good! Full of sexy and kinky little treats. Trust me, I love a goodie bag and with all the conferences I attended, I get through quite a few. But this one had great things that I / we will use. I got 2 mugs, one of which the Boss man has declared is going to work with him and little bear has called dibs on the other. But my fav thing of all must be a pencil, that one of the venders had burnt the outline of a naked lady on to. It will be going to college with me and will be my kink side, on view for the whole world to see, without being in your face.
. Became a published writer. Ok, so I sent a story into the anthology for Eroticon, and it got pic to be in it. Meaning that I came away with a story published in the anthology. I got a copy of the book at the event and have read it from cover to cover, and my what a clever bunch we are! I keep looking at it and crying.
. A new / free toy! The awesome Unihorn stardust clitoral vibrator from rocks off. I got talking to the lovely lady on the rocks off stand, and she asked if I reviewed toys? My answer was no, but it is something I have wanted to get in to doing for a very long time, well we all have really. So, she said if I came back at the end of the conference she would let me have the stardust and we could do a review. Well I did go back, I did get the stardust and I / we tried it out as soon as we got back to the hotel. Lol it in fact made me and the boss man rather late for dinner with his mother.
So now we have past the very pixie focused gains, let’s move on to the fluffier things I have gained, shall we……
‘Made new friends. on the first night, at the meet and greet I had managed to walk in to the holiday inn and was greeted by the wonderful Molly and Cara. Then I was introduced to Mr DomSigns and girl on the net. After that I did the normal me thing of trying to blend in and make myself as little as I could. However, having a bad case of baby / pregnancy brain I tried to this right by the coat rack! Luckily the was another lady doing pretty much the same as me, I think I bumped in to her and we got talking. After 10 minutes of people wanting to hang coats up and being in the way, we venture upstairs to the main room and got a set. This was a great move and we talked to people! Lol the lovely lady I made friends with on the first night, was the epic Sharron Atkinson, and we pretty much stuck together the whole weekend. To be honest, she was my saving grace. A fair few times I got panicked, sad and wanted to go hide, but she made me smile and talked to me. we sat together to eat and hung out in free time. I even talked to people and relaxed a little bit.
. Found out big fancy bloggers are real people – ok so be that I mean that bloggers who I follow and really look up to, are real people. They are flesh and blood. They breath, sneeze, and fart like us mere mortals. I even manged to talk to some of them without going all fan girl and silly.
. Had my belief that academics are approachable – Ok this down to the amazing Madeleine Morris. I sat in on both of her talks and was impressed by both. She speaks with such passion and knowledge on her subject, I was slightly in awe. I grow up in a family full of self-precelled academics, who I always felt as if I should worship them and be a little frightened of them. But at university I was blessed to work with legends, who were ‘Academics’ and changed my outlook on education and learning. But then over recent years, I sadly had people who were very much my first idea of academics, least of all my sisters. So, when I met Madeleine at Eroticon on the Sunday morning, in between napping with knobby and Elvis, and had 10-minute conversation about pollution, sinuses problems, snoring, my ex-husband, and plastic surgery, well let’s say I’m back to thinking that academics rock.
. That I can be sociable – Ok so I made it to the meet and greet, the conference and the Saturday night social. On my own, talking to people and not freaking out. I’m not saying it wasn’t hard and that I enjoyed the whole thing, but I did it on my own without the Boss man or one of the girls. That has not happened in a very, very long time.
. Got a kick up the ass – This was very much needed for me. My writing and blogging has been on the back burner over last month or so, and I had to the point of thinking of just stopping it all together. I was tired, mind body and soul. But being with other people, who are so excited by what they do, sort of rubbed off on me a little.
. Inspiration – I mean to say how could not come away a little bit inspired? I for one am breaming with ideas of things I want to do and try! Lol I have even started pestering sir beasty about writing again!
. Comfortable, being me – ok so this is one of the biggest things I have taken away from Eroticon. I got to be 100% myself. I was the collar wearing, little pixie. nobody batted an eyelid that for a lot of it I was sat cuddling an anxiety blob or sat on the floor or in some ways little. No touched me or tried to make me do things that are hard for me. I was accepted as me.
. Got my Sunday craft fix – To me Sunday is full of 3 things, Mass, Crafting and
Fucking. I went to Mass before the Sunday morning session and fucked in the evening, but I also got my Sunday crafting fix. Thanks to Andrew and Pixie of kinkcraft. Knobby even got a lush new collar! It was also made better by it being in a nice quiet room, full of lovelies like Candysnatchreiews, Kayla Lords, wriggle kitty and John Brownstone.

Now this is where I thought I would be closing this post, and I really was going to, but life is never that simple. The have this week been a lot of talk and chatter in this house hold, largely bought on by Eroticon. I had a slight break down on Sunday night / Monday morning, about a lot of stuff I have had going on. I’m not going to bore you with the in’s and outs of it all. But the have been some major changes in my life. I’m going to list the changes and I will go in to more details over the coming weeks, cos I don’t have the words yet to explain why they have had to happen. So here you go ….
• I have stepped down from all my jobs, bare my privet clients and rescue work.
• I’m going to spend a while enjoying being a mummy
• I’m going to be working on my blog and writing
• I will be doing more kink focused things
• I’m cutting ties with a lot of my family
• I’m having a proper holiday and visiting some of my friends I have not seen in a long time
• I’m going to be looking in to setting up an Etsy shop with Kitten
• We are going house hunting in New jersey.
So that is the end of a very rambling post!
See you all next year?!?!

Pixie x

broken brained, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life, social

Accident waiting to happen!

So, many people think they are the most accident-prone person in the world, right? Well I can without any doubt say that they are all wrong. I can even say I know who the clumsiest and most accident-prone person is, because it happens to be me! No really, it’s me.
I have been like it since I was a tiny kid. If I could fall off something, bump my head, brake, or drop things I did. I have no idea how I made it to adulthood. The first big and noteworthy accident happened when my sisters and I got sent to stay with my aunty Molly and uncle Stan on their farm in county Antrim. The was a loose slate on a roof of they barn, and me being, at the time the smallest and lightest of us, I got sent up to fix it. (don’t judge, this was in the 80’s and long before health and safety). well I got to the top of the ladder, shimmed along and just as I finished fixing the slate in place, I stupidly looked down and slipped. I throw out my hands to steady myself, throwing the hammer in my hand flying, and put my foot through the roof. I manged to get my foot out, and get back to the ladder, making my way down. Only to be greeted at the bottom by my aunty Molly looking cross and uncle Stan on the floor with broken glasses, a huge lump on his head and covered in blood. In my defence, who sends a child up a ladder to fix a roof?!

The was another time that I as on holiday on the south coast of England, in lovely little village called whittering. My daddy took me and my sister off to do a spot of crabbing. I was walking along a wall by the sea, lost in my own little world of fluffy unirons and rainbows, when my daddy yelled at me to look what I was doing. Slightly startled I turned to look at him but kept walking. Not looking where I was going, I came to the end of said wall and walked straight off the end of it. I don’t recall very much after that, apart from getting back to are tent, covered in very smell, sticky mud, and sore arm. Frog marched to the shower, by my hopping mad nana, and scrubbed clean, I remember saying my wrist hurt and felt funny. Nana when running to get my daddy and I was taken to A&E. after x-rays, a doctor said I had a displaced fracture and that it would need to be put back in place and then plastered. Daddy thought I would need to be asleep to have that done, but no, the doctor just pulled it there and then. Bloody hurt! My sister Sophie, still to this day takes the micky out of my over it by mocking the ‘Agrgh oww aghrrr’ that I apparently made when I fell off the wall!

I some how manged to get to the age of 16 without killing myself or anybody else. Then I got my first job working in McDonalds. (oh, the shame). Well I made through the first week ok. I was being trained on the grill and the manger was telling me about the ‘ansle system’ . it was, as I remember a fire extensor thing that you pushed if the grill court on fire. It would cover the grill and everything around it in a yellow powder. Well all was going so well when I stooped down to do up my shoe lace, getting up I sort of head butted the manager training me in the nuts, and stepping back in shock and horror, and bumped in to something with my bum. Next thing I knew the whole of the grill area, backroom and half the front counter were covered in yellow powder. Luck for me the manger saw the funny side to this and did not sack me. That’s not to say I did not have any more accidents, nope they still happened. I stumbled filing up the shake machine and poured 10 little of shake mix down my front, I got my hand stuck in the inside of a yellow wet floor sign and had to sit in the walk-in chiller till my hand cooed off and I could get it out. Oh, and I manged to knock myself out, by tripping and head butting a customer.

I decided to stop for the day with them after I sort of eltricuted a rather vile floor manager. I was putting the shake machine together one morning, when I need to get some more lube from the stoke room. So off I went to get it, but I only got half way before the was a big bang, a scream and the lights went out. Running back to the front counter to find said floor manger laying on the floor, looking dazed and confused, holding a burnt hand up. Turns out she thought I had finished, tried to pull a shake and something was exposed or stuck. She tried to push it back, but it decided to fiddle with it and got a shock, in every sense of the word.

As I moved on to university and things calmed down a little on the accident front. Sure, I set off the fire alarms in halls at least once a week and the were hundreds of times I got locked out of my room, but that happens to everyone right? I worked in shop in Camden market for a while and was asked to clean out the loft space with collige on Sunday. They went up first, followed by me. but I missed a rung of the ladder, slide down, hitting my chine on the loft opening, splitting it open. The ladder went flying, I fell flat on my face, knocking myself out and leaving said colleague stranded in the loft.

After university was done with and my working life started the accidents kept happening. I set fire to a bin in a workroom, I tripped, and head butted a window in a meeting room, and I dislocated a knee by kneeling on a very hard floor. When I made the move to working in the film industry, I took a lot more care, making sure I did not do a ‘Pixie’. I kept hurting myself to myself, I mean it’s not fair to inflict other people with unneeded booboos!

After my break up with my ex and the full out from that, well everyone wanted to wrap me in cotton wool, so I went through a good amount of time without hurting myself. But that was not for want of trying. I mean I was not allowed to use a razor without someone watching me, knives, and scissors where out of bounds and I was not allowed to shower with the bathroom door shut for a good 12 months. (If I sound flippant or blazed about this, I’m not, I promise. But the way I deal with trying to kill myself and the full out from it is by poking fun at it). But in spite of this I still dropped things, broke things, and got ouchies. My darling Maîtriser was one of the first people in my life to say “Pixie, you are just clumsy. You don’t mean it to happen, its just how you are built.”. He put rules to lessen the chances of my hurting myself, but also saw that being watch 24/7 was not helping me get better. So, he gave me free time and I was allowed a 20 min bath every day, with a closed bathroom door. I love him so much for trusting me and believing in me. (ok depressing part over)

Not to say I stop having accident altogether, but they are a lot less now. Well I did have a big one dusting. You see I was dusting the DVD unit thing in the living room. I was moving the sky box, thinning bob, tripped on the mat, knocked over the vase of flowers, and pulling the tv bizarre all at the same. Water went over the plugs and tv, the was a massive bang, smoke, and total loss of power. I still don’t know what or how ii did it put half my street was without and had to have generators for the weekend. I have also broken a dishwasher, 3 microwaves and a washing machine trying to fix things. So now if something is not working right I must tell Babe and let her fix it. I am also not allowed a posh phone like an iPhone as I have a habit of cracking screens or dropping them.
O you can see why some people say knowing pixie can be bad for your health. But the Boss Man says I’m just accident prone and he loves me for it. It just means he gets to look after me a little harder.

Well I hope that my Misfortune has made you at least smile,

Hugs,
Pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life, social

And still….

It’s 4 am, and I’m still wide awake. My heart hurts, my bones ache, I still taste you on my lips. Every time I close my eyes, images of the last few days dance across my mind, in beautiful vivid colour. I still feel the burning touch of you fingers, as they traced circles over skin. You left only a few hours ago, but with in moment of the door closing behind you, I was hit with the craving for you. I try to fight my addiction for you, and still I want more of you.

I’m laid on the crumpled sheets, where your musky scent lingers, long after you have left. I play back the passion and energy of are love making from the night before. We matched each other, move for move. Instinctively knowing what the other need. You were gentle and loving when I needed, commanding and strong when I needed you to be, and still I let you get up and walk out the door .

Sitting up I see you tie still knotted to the head board, reminding me of how you tied my heads out of the way, causing me to blush. I give up ideas of sleep, pushing myself up and out of bed. stopping to look at my reflection in the mirror, gazing at my body. My bruised breast, puff lower lip and hair that is a tozzled mess. I feel the blush creep from my core, burning like fire. I can’t look away, and still I need your arms round me to make me believe everything you said.

Closing my eyes, drawing in a steading breath, holding on to my dressing table for support. My mind is playing tricks on me, I could swear I heard the door open and soft foot steps coming towards me. then I feel your hands take a firm grip of my arm and my eyes fly open as you spin my round to face you, kissing me and pulling to your chest. Then come the only word I need to know. “I’m staying, I still love you”

For Little Bear, cos even when you drive me mad, I will always love you! x