Question time

Question time with the girls….. and Little Rara.

Up this week is the lovely human that is Little Rara. Submissive, party and event host, educatior and fabulouse human . Enjoy!

1) Describe your normal and kinky self in 5 words (5 for each)
a. Normal self – cheerful, energetic, strong, loving, extrovert
b. Kinky self – dynamo, masochist, social, submissive, princess

2) What type of submissive are you?
a. I consider myself a Warrior Princess Submissive. The term Warrior Princess Submissive was coined by Michael Makai. He describes this submissive as the wicked-smart, strong-willed, uber-competent, ultra-competitive, synergistic, switchy, crusader. She’s no one’s doormat, never a victim. She is a kick-ass submissive for the 21st century. Think: Xena, the Warrior Princess, kneeling at the feet of Hercules.”

3) Tell us more about you home dungeon? (Daddy can we do this in the basement of are new house?)
a. My home dungeon has been a labor of love. It’s been operational for 18 months and has changed so much. We now have a St. Andrew’s Cross, spanking bench, stocks, hard points, massage table, vac cube and a Motor Bunny. We have an after care area set up in a different room to give people a place to come down after scenes. The next step is going to be painting the walls and adding art work.

4) What sort of events and parties do you run?
a. Currently, I run several different types of activities. I have two monthly munches that I run. One is co-ed and averages about 45 people each month. The second is Ladies only and after four months we are up to about 20 people attending. I am an administrator for two kinky chat groups. Again, one co-ed and one ladies only. I host BDSM play parties in my private dungeon. I co-host a Poly and Power Exchange Relationships discussion group. Finally, I offer education classes at my dungeon. It’s something I just recently added. I began with rope but have plans to offer more in 2019.

5) What advice would you give to anyone new to the BDSM scene?
a. Take it slow. You don’t have to do everything at once. And trust your instincts. Kink is just vanilla stuff with sprinkles. The rules of how you treat people are the same in or out of kink. If you wouldn’t let your vanilla boyfriend treat you that way, don’t let a Dom treat you that way.

6) What do you do for non kinky fun?
a. What’s that? Haha. But seriously, even my non kinky fun is done with my kinky friends. I am a huge fan of Marvel, Star Wars and Star Trek movies. I also love going to karaoke with my friends.

7) Kinky role models? Who and why?
a. I have so many different kinky role models. My friend Kim has taught me to constantly grow and learn in my kink journey. My friend Haley has taught me the beauty and joy of rope and she makes me want to push myself in rope. My friend Maribeth has taught me that while we may sometimes bend, we never break. My friend and most recent Dom, Dave taught me that I deserve the best and should settle for nothing less.
b. My girlfriend Lucy has taught me so much about myself and my ability to give and receive love. She was an unexpected gift and I will forever be grateful that she said yes to helping me with a birthday surprise last year

8) Who in your life inspires you the most and why?
a. My daughter inspires me every day. I want to show her that women are strong and that she can do anything and be anything she wants.
b. I am also inspired by all the women in my life who have given me the gift of their friendship. They help me be a better version of myself. A quick shout out to Missy, Dara, Megan who I consider family.

9) Where in the world do you most want to visit?
a. I so desperately want to visit Australia.

10) What kinky things have you got in the pipeline?
a. My main goal that I am focusing on is growing the educational side of my R&R Parties and Events. I’m in talks with people to offer classes on kinky photography, negations, after care, massage and rope suspension. I want to increase attendance at my Ladies Only Munch. And I want to work on getting the Poly and Power Exchange Relationships discussion group out there and see where it goes.
b. But I also have a lot of kinky fun planned including my annual Kickass Kinky Birthday party in September. This will be the third year that I am renting out a local public dungeon and inviting all my kinky friends to celebrate with me. In addition to a rope suspension scene and my birthday spanking scene, this year I plan on turning my butt into a birthday cake. My friend will attach candles to needles and put them in my butt. Then once lit my friends can all blow them out.

11) What type of food you like?
a. I could eat Chinese food every day and be totally happy. But I also love Italian, deli, and American.

12) Guilty pleasures?
a. Cheap, trashy reality television. I love The Bachelor and Bachelorette. I am addicted to Big Brother. I also love to listen to music from Disney Original Movies like High School Musical and Camp Rock.

LittleRara is a bisexual poly masochistic submissive Warrior Princess who is an active member in her local BDSM community. She runs R&R Parties and Events through which she puts on private BDSM play parties, hosts a monthly discussion group on Poly and Power Exchange Relationships, and offers educational classes on rope, negotiations, aftercare and more. Her kinks include rope suspension, impact and needles.
Want to learn more about LittleRara?
Follow her on FetLife at https://fetlife.com/users/3168132
Or Twitter at https://twitter.com/HisLittleRara

Or Tumblr at https://hislittlerara.tumblr.com

Question time, Uncategorized

Question time tributes wanted!

Question time with Pixie and the girls!

So, I keep asking people to volunteer as kinky tributes to my Question time thing, but never actually explain, meaning nobody offers and I get crabby! So, Kitten suggested that I sat down and wrote a quick post about it! (ok so that is what I should have done at the start, right?)

Question time is something me and the girls I live with came up with, away of getting to know people in the wider kink/ poly community. Well I say me and the girls, but I think it may have been Maitsers idea since we are always asking flipping questions. The concept is, we find a willing tribute, send them a list of questions we come up with, they answer them, send them back and we turn it in to a fun interview / blog post. It gets shared on my social media, with shout outs on Instagram and twitter.

 

We have now also decided to do two types of question times. one with fun people we follow and one with businesses we like. The fun one will be silly questions, with the odd propping one here and there. The businesses one is more focused, so we get to know more about the company and what they do.

So, if you fancy having ago as tribute, give me a shout at contactpixieheart@gmail.com

Pixie x

Question time

Question time with the girls – Miss Kim of Club Rub, Mistress Workshop & Rubber Cult

With life begining to return to normal, it’s that time once again – Question time with the girls – Miss Kim of Club Rub, Mistress Workshop & Rubber Cult.

  1. What was you first experience of the D/s and BDSM lifestyle?
    It was 28 years ago when a mistress friend asked me if I wanted to earn £50? Her name was Mistress Victoria and she was a formable woman. It was the first time I’d ever been in a professional dungeon. There was so much equipment; benches, a wheel, gas masks, whips etc. My head was spinning. The client had a smoking fetish. First she put him in a gas mask, then lit up a huge cigar and blew the smoke down the tube. Hilarious. She threw me a look, as I suppressed a giggle.

  2. What was your first taste of the fetish scene like?
    It was Club Submission and I was blown away. I instantly loved it, whist being a little apprehensive. In fact, Mistress Victoria was one of the first people I met theta night and she was so nice to me.

  3. When did you realise you were Domme?
    It didn’t really happen like that. I went to my first club nearly 30 years ago and fetish clubbing was my first love. I met so many interesting people and found myself in so many unusual places and parties, it just evolved.

  4. How did you and why did you turn in to a Pro Domme
    I closed my monthly fetish club event after 20 years and it seemed like a natural progression. I had already been doing Dungeon Parties with Mistress Vanessa for 15 years. Also my Mistress Workshop has been operational for the last six years. Plus I had more time now Club RUB was closed. My interest for the art of BDSM has grown and grown over the years also. www.misskimrub.com

  5. What was the inspiration behind Club Rub?
    There weren’t many fetish clubs 20 years ago. Another one was needed, and I felt themes would add a fun element to a scene that, which at times, could take itself too seriously. Club-rub.com filled that gap.

  6. Which of your amazing workshops do like teaching the most?
    My MistressWorkshop.com is by far my favourite. I will never stop teaching that. It’s way too much fun. I love meeting eager ladies, all happy in the pursuit of BDSM knowledge

  7. Do you have any kinks you’re really in to yourself?
    I’m a hood lover. I have a site called www.hood-lovers.com Obviously latex! I run RubberCult.com with Cynth Icorn. I have a medical fetish…I love some of the old equipment, it fascinates me. http://www.misskimrub.com/2017/11/03/medical-loving-mistress/

  8. What do you do for fun and to relax?
    Travel: http://www.misskimrub.com/2018/01/14/2018-trips-year-dog/ Meet friends for trips to restaurants, galleries, stately homes, seaside trips etc. I have a house in Spain and love to go there. I walk, swim, read, write blogs, sunbath, gardening and cafe life. I’m active on the fetish scene, which I still find fun.

  9. Do you have any hard limits as Domme?
    Not really. Obviously, I don’t do sex. I don’t allow body worship either. Too old to wrestle anyone!

  10. Would you say you’re a feminist, and why?
    I’m an advocate of the rights and equality of women. You don’t have to be anti-man to be pro-woman. I am a womans woman.

  11. Who are you role models?
    Elizabeth I, Oprah Winfrey, Brene Brown, Lady Gaga. ‘The Silence Breakers’ The women started a ‘revolution of refusal’ and said #MeToo #TimesUp to sexism and harassment in the workplace.

  12. What is on the cards for you in the future?
    I have no intention of ever leaving the fetish scene. The friends I met on the scene 25 years ago are still my oldest and dearest friends, but they have no interest for it anymore. I will carry on flying-the-flag. Putting on gatherings like the Queen Bee Society http://www.misskimrub.com/2018/06/11/powerful-ladies-glam-night-out/

    I have some other things up my sleeve. All to be revealed in good time. I have been much imitated over the years. This next project will be a first…mine!

    Photos are by me and Rachel May AKA fetishwebmistress.com

Aedan D. O'Healy, Question time

Question Time for Aedan – as requested by Pixie and the girls… what have I gotten myself into?

Pixie has been asking me for this for some time and I finally relented and decided to draft up, what is sure to be entertaining if nothing else. I want to start by saying shite, what the hell did I agree to? 🙂 Here they are…enjoy ~Aedan

Questions:

  1. Sub, Dom, Switch and why? 
    I, Aedan Dorin O’Healy am a switch. I have been for a long time now, although I only recently started to let the submissive side come out. I am more Dom than anything else, but sometimes it’s nice to be blindfolded and leave yourself in someone else’s loving hands… or mouth. I’ve always been a Dom throughout most of life. Certainly work and during times of high stress or needs for a lot of action and assertiveness. As my boss tells me, ‘you don’t lack for balls or courage, crazy Irish bastard’. After my first real relationship, I had to take a submissive role to the woman I was with. Ten years of being treated like that made me stash that side of me away, not knowing I was able to play both roles without fear.
  2. What 5 labels would you give your kinky self.
    Labels are difficult but here goes… Creative, Sensual, Perverted, Romantic and Curious – all of these describe my kinky self and my ‘has to go to work and pretend to be like everyone else’ self. 
  3. Describe yourself in 10 words.
    Built, fierce, chivalrous, eager, intense, caring, funny, seductive, unwavering, self-aware
  4. Tell me about the best fuck you’ve ever had?
    The best fuck – that’s interesting. I’d like to amend this to the best fuck I’ve ever had so far. It was on the roof of the building I was working at in Long Island many years ago. What started as an innocent game  of “things that have happened to everyone” at a restaurant with co-workers and a level of astonishment from one particular woman who had a thing for me, turned into a 3-hour fuckfest in several offices, up a flight of stairs to the roof and ended with mind-blowing sex overlooking NYC. The details of which can certainly be given, if interested.
  5.  Worst sex you ever had?
    This is easy – my first wife. Didn’t like cock, hated me and thought she was far too busy to be intimate. Worst six years of my life. Luckily, we only had it a few times because I was always made to sleep on the couch. Small favors, I guess…
  6. Oral sex, boobie fuck or hand job?
    Yes 🙂 I am a huge fan of long, slow deep blowjobs and spending hours with my head between your legs proving the human tongue can do many amazing things 😉 That’s not to say I don’t love boobie fucking #titsrule! and nothing welcomes you back home like a random, unasked for handjob while trying to attending a meeting, eat dinner or wash the dishes. I can’t say I like anyone more than the other but if I had to pick, it would be oral sex. 
  7. What’s your idea of heaven and your idea of hell?
    Heaven – simple enough! Spending the rest of my life with the woman/en I love, raising a family and never feeling like passion is something that has to cool off or go away over time. Passion only dies when you let it. Hell is just that, a relationship where only one side feels it and you spend your time doubting, wondering or just being miserable. Nothing sounds worse to me than that. 
  8. Top 5 sexual positions and why you like them?
    I don’t know if I have just five lol. I’m a big fan of a good standing fuck, collapsed on an over-sized chair and pretty much any position that involves a “69”. I have been a bit sheltered when it comes to sexual exploration due to the woman I married. Creativity wasn’t rewarded in that relationship. I am open to suggestions though from anyone reading this 😉 
  9. 5 kinks you want to try and why?
    Is there a list somewhere I can order from? seriously. I’d like to try them all because I never have… or at least have an option to try them out before I draft my list of just five. 
  10. Idea of a perfect date?
    It would have to be something where money is no object and the evening spins out from a single kiss into an overnight whirlwind of each sense and sensation. A date that went from New York to Cuba – dancing, a lovely dinner, shopping for clothes that would fit in inside a kiny club and then a flight to Miami to walk the beaches at sunrise. I’d be just as enticed to say a date in the woods, back-country in a truck and finding a secluded spot to spend the night playing guitar, dancing and making love. I don’t really think the ‘what and how much’ of a perfect date means as much as the time you have with the person you’re with. 

I want to say thank you to Pixie and the girls for asking these questions. It was fun answering them. I realize as I read back my answers that I have way more complexity in life than I ever thought so feel free to ask more or message me for a chat.

Cheers

Aedan is a Dom writer or sex, sin and seduction. Engineer by day, future porn star by night. Divorced and slightly damaged, he wears his heart on his sleeve but is always looking on the bright side, assuming he can find one. Aedan writes for several on-line blogs, has three novels ready for publication and is working on finding the true meaning and beauty in a D/s relationship. He is currently unattached and can be found wearing his super-hero cape trying to save the day (even if the day doesn’t always need saving). Connect with Aedan on Twitter or stop by Aedan’s Domain for a read of poetry, kiny and lust served up, fresh, hot and wet. 

Question time, Uncategorized

Question time with the girls and …. Jay, from Tesstesst,nl

So up today on Question time with me and the girls is the wonderful Jay from Tessesst.nl. Writer of wonderful sex toy reviews, Sex talk Tuesday tweeting hero and all round nice guy! hope you enjony reading this as much as we did!

1. What is your favourite sex toy ever?
– Can I divide this in categories? Sure, I can!
o Penis stimulation: Fun Factory Cobra Libre II’
o Prostate stimulation: Meo.de Stainless Steel milking stick (yes really, it’s a milking stick)
o Kink: ElectraStim Duo Flick set
2. Sub, Dom, or switch? Dom, very much so, for over 20 years now ????
3. What are your super powers? I’m an HSP INFJ with a knack for being very good at reading body language (and minds MUWHAHAHAHAHA) and will use it against you ????
4. Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now? Reviewing more toys, having more fun, and hopefully getting payed good money for it.
5. If you could live in place in the world, where would it be and why? Somewhere where I am happy, that can be anywhere, but less of this cold Dutch weather would be nice.
6. What type of music do you like? Blues, Jazz, classical, anything, but I don’t really like rap or hiphop that much, oh and Just Bieber? Really? Why?
7. What is your favourite quote and what does it mean to you? “Qui habet aures, audiendi audiat!” Which means: Those who have ears should learn to listen. I’ll leave it up to you to the why and how of that quote
8. What was the last lie you told and why did you tell it? I’m already a member of your charity. Why? It was 7 pm and I was at dinner and they made me open the door.
9. What does your ideal date look like to you? Idealism is a dangerous concept, it will only end in disappointment. But hugs, cuddles and possibly awesome sex are good for the soul.
10. What is your favourite book that you could not live without? The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho, a must read.
Silly questions from little bear.
Why is the sea blue?
It was very naughty and the “creator” spanked it very hard.
Best sandwich ever?
“Hot Patato” Turkey Delight Sub (in Amsterdam, a much-missed sandwich shop).
Mayo or Ketchup? I’m European (ha!), so mayo of course. And not that hellmans crap either
Fruit or sweeties? Depends, mostly fruit though
Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No, but what it can do with other parts of other peoples’ anatomy surely is the stuff of legends

Want to find out more, here where you can find him!

http://https//www.tesstesst.nl

http://https//instagram.com/tess_tesst

http://https//instagram.com/jay_tesst

http://https//twitter.com/jay_tesst

hugs,

Pixie x

 

Question time, Uncategorized

Question time with the girls and …. Petra Pan Reviews

.
So up today doing question time with me and the girls is the wonderful Petra Pan Reviews. A sex blogger, writer, sex toy tester and member of the pleasure pannle. So here’s her Q&a…
1. What are your guilty pleasures?

Sexy lingerie. Spanking paddles. And hash brown and sausage sandwiches, with brown sauce.

2. What are your pet peeves and why?

Rudeness; there’s just no need! And sexism really winds me up. And bad driving. I also find Debbie Dingle from Emmerdale irritating.

3. What advice would you give to a first-time sex toy user?

Experiment, and don’t be shy! There’s a whole world of fun awaiting you. I would also start small with some toys, such as anal, to let your body get used to it and avoid any painful moments.

4. What’s your favourite breakfast ever?

Full English, every time!

5. What advice would you give an 18-year-old you, knowing what you know now?

Don’t take any s**t! Stick up for yourself more and believe in yourself. And stop worrying about how you look! Also, don’t obsess over your hair, there are more important things in life!

6. What things take up way too much of your time?

Sleep. I am a champion sleeper, I love it. But I get over 9 hours per night and I probably don’t need that much! I also nap a lot!

7. What would be your ideal way to spend a weekend?

In a spa with my husband, being massaged, then swimming and having a sauna and jacuzzi. Then taking a nap. And then a lovely meal with a couple of glasses of fizz. Then another small nap, and then a cracking movie with some nibbles, with someone providing a scalp massage. Then some sexy time, then sleep (see what I mean about sleeping too much?!)

8. Your top 5 books?

The Sedona Method is my number 1, without doubt. It’s a kind of self-help. I love it and practice it every day.
Eckhart Tolle’s The Power Of Now, for some spiritual guidance.
The Ladykiller by Martina Cole, a gangster thriller.
Is Harry On The Boat, a raunchy beach book.
Annabelle Knight’s The Endless Autumn for a bit more raunch.

9. If you could have a super power what would it be and why?

Transportation. I could visit the arctic to see the penguins, then click my fingers and come home to the warmth!

10. Where do you want to visit and why?

I love to travel, but I’m yet to visit Canada, Iceland, Scandinavia and India. They are on my list!

Silly questions from little bear:

Why is there always fluff in your belly button?

It’s not fluff. It’s a little quilt for my belly button.

Apples, grapes, or bananas?

Grapes. Also known as wine.

McDonalds or Burger King?

I tend to avoid both, but Burger King if I get a craving!

Do you have any pets?

Yes – three dogs, all rescues. One from England, one from Ireland and one from Greece!

Bath or Shower?

A nice hot bath with scented oils and candles!

If you want to find out more about her you you can find her at Random red rose  Or on twitter at @PetraPanReviews

Question time, social

Question time with the girls…. And Joanne’s Reviews.

So we back with question time, after a baby sized break! This week we have the wonderful Joanne’s reviews. A lady who’s product Reviews have got the boss man doing shopping, and that is some going as he never buys stuff after reading a single review! so here is her Q & a!

1. Your top 5 kinks?
Only five, this is going to be fun. My sexual tastes have evolved immensely over he years and some things I used to really enjoy have fallen by the wayside, but my current top five kinks would have to be:
a. Fucking and Sex Machines – It is hard to describe just how good it is to use a sex machine that will never tire, never slow down and always make sure you orgasm first LOL. My machines are varied and simply amazing, I also enjoy bringing new people into the scene and seeing their enjoyment from this kink.
b. E-Stim or Electrosex – There is a bit of a techy theme developing here I guess. I absolutely adore e-stim and this is an activity that regularly and easily gives me amazing hands-free orgasms. I had never heard of it before I started reviewing but then E-Stim Systems asked me if I would be interested in reviewing one of their kits and I was hooked. I now consider myself to be knowledgeable in this field and regularly give advice to others joining the scene. Oh, and if you are not sure what e-stim is, it is the stimulation of your nervous system and muscles using small electrical currents in order to pleasure and induce an orgasm. It’s one heck of a kinky way to get off.
c. BDSM – This is such a generic heading that it is all encompassing but for me I really enjoy being retrained and am very submissive. I love reviewing BDSM products as I can really enjoy myself with them. I love ropework and would love to learn more about this fascinating side of BDSM.
d. Lipstick Fetish – I have a bit of a thing for lipstick. I enjoy wearing it and especially enjoy myself if someone is watching me applying it. Needless to say, I have more than my fair share of a lipstick collection, some would say that I am right up there with Imelda Marcos in that respect.
e. Forced Orgasms – I love to enjoy forced orgasms, whether they be delivered by hand or using a machine or vibrator. This ties in with my third kink about as inevitably some restraints and ropes are required to stop me squirming away from the action. There is nothing like the feeling of not being in control and having orgasm after orgasm.

2. What do you do for none fun? (none kinky?)
I love reading and can immerse myself in an enjoyable book anytime. My physical disabilities prevent me from enjoying much outdoor fun and so to relax I read, watch TV and play stupid games on my phone.

3. What does your perfect day look like?
I am disabled and have chronic pain issues so in all honesty a perfect day for me is one where the pain is controllable, and I need minimal medication to control it. Other than that, things that really put a smile on my face is visiting my sister when she has a new batch of puppies, there is something about seeing and playing with puppies that really chills me out. I always come away wanting to bring at least one of them home with me though.

4. What is the worst job you have ever had?
My worst day job must have been when I was a cleaner, you have no idea how demoralising it is to clean things only to have people not take any notice and to mess everything up again. Pretty lame I know but that was my least favourite job.

5. What is your favourite film and why?
There can be only one choice – Dirty Dancing, the reason, well Patrick Swayze of course. It’s a film that always draws me in, it has a delightful story and a happy ending. Oh, and did I mention that Patrick Swayze is in it ????

6. If you could go in an adventure, where would you go and what would you do?
If I could go on an adventure it would be to New Zealand to visit some of the incredible natural wonders there. Nothing Tolkein related just the incredible history and natural wonders, just try googling Waitomo Glowworm Caves.

7. What advice would you give to a newbie kinkster?
Google is your friend when it comes to learning about any form of kink. Try to educate yourself in whatever it is that flicks your switch but be yourself. Never try to change in order to fit in, you will develop your own brand of kink, it is an extension of who you are. Also, don’t be afraid to ask for help and advice, it can help prevent costly and dangerous situations from developing.

8. Describe your view from your desk?
Ignoring my desk for a moment, I have my desk overlooking the garden and I love to get distracted by birds eating at my bird feeder. It isn’t the biggest garden, in fact it’s tiny but I love watching the birds. The current view on my desk is the usual, keyboard and mouse together with a cup of tea, two biscuits, two dildos, a vibrator, a butt plug and two bottles of lube. There is always a party going on atop of my desk LOL.

9. Best place for sex? (not the bedroom)
Anywhere you can get comfortable and share an intimate moment with either yourself or a partner (as long as it’s legal). One of my favourite places to have sex outside of the house is in a dungeon. You can rent some incredible dungeons and if the thought of lots of leather and restraints floats your boat it is worth considering visiting one for a treat.

10. What are your holiday plans for this year?
I don’t tend t go on holidays as I don’t travel well due to my condition, so I tend to take time off and relax at home. This year though I am going to London on a weekend away to visit Eroticon and this I am going to class as my holiday for the year.

Silly questions from little bear.

Harry Potter or the Hobbit?
The Hobbit, Harry potter is fun but the Hobbit is something I read as a child and it has stuck with me, so I am a bit biased I guess.

Beach, spa, or glamping?

Spa, oh god please someone send me to a spa. Never been to one but the idea of being pampered like that is appealing to me. Note to self, add visiting a Spa onto my bucket list.

Thoughts on cheese?
Cheese is nice, and I used to eat lots of it but it doesn’t agree with me anymore which is a shame.

Tattoos, Yay or nah?
I like them, but I am too much of a chicken to get one LOL.

Best Dinner ever?
One I haven’t cooked myself. Seriously though my best inner ever was the one that my husband proposed to me on. He got down on one knee and did it as per the book. That was my best dinner (the chicken was rather nice too if I remember).

Want to know more about her? go find her on social media:

Twitter –https://twitter.com/joannesreviews
Google+ –https://plus.google.com/u/1/+JoanneReviews
Tumblr – https://joannesreviews.tumblr.com/
Facebook Page –https://www.facebook.com/JoannesSexToyReviews
Pinterest –https://www.pinterest.co.uk/joanne7018/pins/
Website –http://www.sexmachinereviews.co.uk

Thanks for doing question time , we loved your answers and getting to know you better!

Pixie, Babe, Kitten and Little Bear  x

From the heart, Poly life, Question time, Uncategorized

And all at once I’m sad again….

I have written, talked and raged against my depression and anxiety many times now . I have also spoken about physical health struggles as well. But over the last month or so I have Purposely tried not to talk about stuff like that. It was done for so many reasons . I am constantly not wanting to bring others down , not wanting to seem needy, never want people to feel sorry me, not wanting pity and knowing it is likely to loose me friends and followers. But I have woken this morning in tears again, and something has snapped. I need to speak about what is going on in my head, or I’ll become even more sad am doing things will and do get worse. So with maîtriser permission and wrapped in kittens arms I’m going try and talk about what is and has been going on in my head, it may come out i a ramble , but I have to do it or I’ll run mad. It’s not aimed at anyone or ment to hurt , but it is something I need to do and say, cos not saying stuff is and dose make me sick.

Thing that have been going on…

  • my mother , who until we found out she had cancer I had not spoken to in nearly a year, has been asking for more and more things. From money , to help and support with her daily life and wanting to spend time alone with the twins. People think I should just let the past go and forgive my mother, but I can’t . She was abusive, neglectful and turned a blind eye to what my ex did to me.
  • My daddy is getting worse, and I miss him. Again my father was not a great person, when he was ‘ sick’ , he beat me and hurt me, but I readily forgive him, as he was sick. But now 70% time he is not my old daddy, but the harsh, vile, poisoned tongued person his dementia has turned him in to.
  • My sisters. I have 2 elder sisters that are beautiful, clever and talented. They are wonderful, but at times , well best way to put it is spiteful and demanding. They have both said I should be doing more to care for daddy as I’m not working and just home all day.But I can’t and I feel vile for not doing more.
  • My health’. I’ve been really sick , massively sick and it frightens me. Or should that be the memories of being sick frighten the shit out of me and knowing that getting sick could leave my babies growing up without a mum , well it’s terrifies me. Combine that with the meeriories of pain, hospital and shear effort to much.
  • My twisted logic, that I’m not good enough, for anything… Be it a wife , mother , friend , lover , daughtero, writer or blogger. I’m sure people get this too, but I seem to think it all the time at the moment. I also seem to think I need to be able to function better with depression and anxiety . That I should just fight it and push through it, but I just can’t. I can fight it , just keeping my head above water, but I’m doing just enough to keep myself going, to keep those plates spinning and those balls in the air. I wish I was a high functioning depressive, I really do , but I’m a I can just get out of bed and put cloths on kind at the moment.
  • Death. In the last 5 weeks I have lost my great aunty molly, a good friend to cancer and another to aids relate illness. They have all impacted on a different level, but they have all been shocks and extremely upsetting . This in turn has left me realign in my tiny little world .
  • People have attacked my family. Both Babe and Kitten have had people attack them on a professional level. Both have come back fighting , cos that is what we do , but it hurts them and the pain and upset it has inflected on them was not needed . It leave me hurting as I am powerless to protect them. If it had been a physical attack , trust me I would of ended people. It makes me angry , upset and unsettled . All I can do is hold them tight, love them harder than ever and prey no body harms them any farther.
  • I sold part of my business. Ok so not a huge down side. I got good money and the person who I sold it to is amazing. But with it comes the fact I feel like I failed a little. I have to admit that after 3 months off having babies, the thought of leaving them to go to Belfast to teach my courses for 5days was Killing Me. It has made me questioned my self as a professional, a feminist and as a business woman.

All this has left me struggling to cope with my day to day life . I have start to get panic attack again and they are getting worse, trust me they are getting to point where medication is not helping and a couple have almost led to a full on anxiety attack. I know that the is only so much medication and I need to try hard to control my reaction to stress, I really do. But not being to able at times , has the knock on effect of making me feel less of a person . I also feel that having to make a medication to just be able to get through the day is a cop out. I mean I have to take a lot . I take 225mg of Venlafaxine, 45mg of Mirtazapine , 2 mg of Flupentixol for depression. I then take 3 10 mgr tablets of buspirone daily for anxiety and larzapam at veering dose for panic or anxiety attacks. I also have meds to help if I can’t sleep. I hate taking these, but if did not take them I can’t cope and I do stupid things , looked self harm and trying kill myself. It’s not a good place to be , but I guess it’s my life. Adding in to this I work with a therapist weekly and cbt monthly, as well as pain management clinic to deal with pain of Athriust and other condition. I have physio once a month and do daily stuff to keep myself moving. I have to use nebs morning and night to get my lunges clear and breath. Then I have meds to help my body work.

But the biggest thing that seems to be cursing me tears and pain, is a feeling of being an outsider looking in. A feeling of be disconnected from people and not fitting in. That I’m judge- for my physical and mental limitations. That others are these amazing clever, and I’m just this dumb girl, who people hate and don’t need. I seem to be able to read minds and that is simply not true, but I feel like purple will say one thing and mean another. Having an autistic disorder make this so fucking hard to proses . I just wish people could all be open and honest, with no faulse truths, lies and double meanings. I mean I don’t know how they do it, really I look at others and the fronts they put on day to day and I’m exhausted.

So what I’m trying to say is that I’m not , but it will get better , i don’t know when I’ll be ok. I’m pushung myself as hard as I can, fighting tooth and nail, to get back to an even quel , I’ll get there just not today . So treat me like pixie, remeber what I have said , approach with caution , handle with care, and I understand you might want me in your life at the moment. I will be ok, cos I don’t go down without a fight. I don’t want sympathy, feeling sorry for me , hollow words or anyone to try to fucking fix me. I want to be treated like me, people stand be my side , while I fucking fix myself and hold my sodding hand when I need it.

Hugs,

Pixie x

bdsm, Question time, Uncategorized

Question time with the girl….. and ravenhaired_sub.

So up this we have the Stunning hottie that is the Miss Walker or @ravenhaired_sub .A bit of a twitter star, sharing her life with her equaly hot Husband and Daddy , in words and picture that always make us smile! Kinky positive and one of the best role models for DDlg and D/s that we have the pleasure to meet! So here is our Q/a with her…..

1. When did you realise you had a kinky side? (babe) Pretty much a few years into becoming sexually aware, so at least by my mid/late teens.
2. What things make a good submissive? (kitten) I don’t know if there is a “right” answer for this (I think it depends on the dynamic) – but being trustworthy and honest with your Dominant would be what I would expect though.
3. What do you do for none kinky fun? (Mouse) I like to read and I’m pretty much a horror fanatic. Anything gothic or to do with serial killers will get my attention, this could be a book, TV programme or film. I’m also a bit of a foodie so I enjoy dining out.
4. Do you have any guilty pleasures and what are they? (little Bear) I have no guilty pleasures, they are all guilt free!
5. What is your favourite type of music and why? (All) Rock or metal. The musicianship that goes into this genre is second to none.
6. What makes for a perfect date night? (little Bear)  An intimate dinner date, followed by a stroll and good conversation.
7. What are your thoughts on body piercings and tattoos? (Mouse) I’m don’t mind piercing providing it’s not excessive, especially in the face. As far as tattoos go, I would say I love tattoos, but I actually love well done tattoos ????
8. What are your top 3 sex toys and why? (kitten) 1. The Magic Wand, just the intensity is amazing. 2. Butt plug, instant wetness for me. 3. Nipple/clit clamp, again, just a huge turn on. The pain mixed with pleasure.
9. What does sub space look and feel like to you? (Babe) Sub space to me as a feeling of relaxation, of total calm. Where I am out of my body almost.
10. Have you ever acted out any sexual fantasy and if so what were they? I will be soon but it’s a secret! ????
Silly question from little bear.
Where do you stand on stuffies? I love stuffies! My Tsumtsum ones are my faves!
Why does it take so long to get ready for a night out? …Because we have to always looks our best!
What is your favourite fruit? Strawberries
Do you like pop tarts? Never tried them!
Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Only a little bit!

Hope you enjoyed reading as much as we did!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

bdsm, Question time, social, Uncategorized

Question time with the girls …. and sub-bee.

So up this week on question time with me and the girls is the lovely sub-Bee , Who I / we meet on twitter and then found her lovely Blog. Full of fab photos and word about her life as a bi sub and life with her Dom. Super sweet lady and always has a posertive take on things. Also her and Dom are lego fans like this little pixie, so Yay! Here is her question time, hope you enjoy!

1. Describe yourself (kinky and vanilla) in 5 words? (Babe)
Crazy, geeky, kind, caring, indecisive.

2. What fictional place would visit if it was real and why? (Kitten)
Arkham, who wouldn’t want to catch a glimpse of Batman or Harley Quinn

3. You’re a fellow Lego fan, what’s your favourite type and why? (mouse)
Should I be really geeky and say it’s the classic 2×4 red block because that’s where Lego started from. Or should I just say any of the superhero Lego. Or maybe it’s the Lego Dimensions video game that I have a bit of an addiction to at the moment. Or should I just say ALL OF IT!!

4. If you could do any job in the world, what would it be and why? (little bear)
Tough one because I’d always find something else I wanted to do. Maybe a racing driver for the thrill or a captain of a cruise ship so I could see the world at a more relaxing pace than a pilot.

5. What type of submissive do you identify with the most? (All)
I don’t really believe in submissive types, each of us is unique. I like some types of pain but I’m not a masochist. I’m not a little even if I have some little tendencies. I have moments where I’m really bratty and I don’t submit easily, it has to be taken from me. So I’d say I’m a ‘me’ submissive.

6. Do you have any celebrity crushes and if so who? (little bear)
Oh yes, Ruby Rose *swoon*

7. Posh undies, practical pants, or commando? Why? (mouse)
I’m a fan of practical pants, not like granny pants but the cute cartoon type.

8. What are you top 5 kinks? (Kitten)
Needleplay
Being restrained/overpowered
Wax
Fire cupping
Impact play/hitty things

9. What are you pet peeves and why? (Babe)
I really can’t stand judgemental people. Can we just let other people live their lives as they chose. If something doesn’t impact you directly then there is no need to get involved!

10. What is the funniest thing you have heard today? (All)
I’ve been on my own pretty much all day so it’ll probably be watching cat videos on YouTube or that slappy marching bird, I can’t get enough of him!

Silly questions from little bear.
Cupcake, donut, or cookie?
A lovely warm cookie…nom nom nom.

What magical creature would you like to be?
Hobbit, elf, or dwarf?
Hmm, none if those. Can I be a unicorn instead so I can squirt rainbows from my horn…you have to watch Deadpool for that one!

What is the best thing about being a girl?
Easy…multiple orgasms

What I the best sweetie in the world?
If it’s chocolate I love Cadbury’s Creme Eggs but my favourite sweetie would be a Drumstick lolly or maybe dark chocolate covered marzipan.

Thanks for doing this Bee!

Pixie x x x x