family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart.

Cutting ties, saying goodbye and falling in love, again.

Well it’s been a funny few weeks at Beaulac towers, to say the least. For us this is always a super busy time of year, well it’s always a busy time of for us, but this has been silly busy. I have felt like I have been chasing my tail. But thankfully things are becoming calmer by the day, thank the gods!
The main reason things have clamed down are due to me making some massive changes too my life and the world I live in. these changes had to happen, after a mini break down that I had on the Sunday night after Eroticon. I woke at 2 am sobbing, sacking and panicked out of my little head. Thankfully I have a wonderful Dom and amazing subbie sisters, who no matter what the time of day or night are willing to sit and listen. But what was the cause of this break down? Well in a nutshell I was tired, over worked and stressed out. It was also the realistaion, having been at Eroticon for 3 days, amongst like minded people, relaxed and being my true, little self, that for the first time in months I was myself, happy and relaxed.
Not that I was not enjoying my life or thinking of doing stupid things, very far from it. But I had started to not want to work every day, losing the passion I have for my work and on some levels resenting it. I felt like I was missing the babies growing up, wanting to be with them over work. I was also missing being at home and hating the amount of time I was traveling. I had started to get tired all the time, grumpy and not wanting sex, signs for me that I’m going to be poorly with my depression again. My body was screaming that I needed to take a step back, but my head said that doing so was weak and that I needed to just keep going. But I just could not do it, physically, emotionally, or mentally I was done.
So, after a lot of talking, we decided that the best thing to do, would for me to step down from working as much. Going back to working with privet classes and 1 2 1 training and the rescue work I do. Thankfully my Boss was amazing and said that when I’m ready to go back to the would be a job waiting for me.
Another thing I have chosen to do is to step away from and cut ties with some of my family. I don’t hide the fact I don’t get on with my mother but keeping trying to be just too painful and stressful. So, I have stepped back from being so involved in her care. I have also decided to cut ties from my extended family. It’s a massive family and overall wonderful, but some of the people in it are vile. They expect to be forgiven for their sins and won’t forget other sins. Some of them of late have done things that are abhorrent to me. From fighting, to drinking and doing drugs, to theft and domestic abuse. I had to cut ties with those family members or I was going to start being vile back at them.
So, moving forward, I have been resting and reconnect with me. I have slept late, walked dogs, eaten proper home cooked food, and been silly with my babies. And I have been able to sit down and written, planned post, and decided in what direction I want to take things. I have made plans to do stuff and I’m working on myself again
I had to sadly say good bye to my uncle, who passed away from lung cancer. It was at his wake that I kind of said bye to a lot of things that had been weighing me down and I realised that being a mum is a bloody great job, that I love doing and I’m good at!
Having more free time has been great, and I have rekindled a love of crafting! So much so I am setting up a craft club for littles and kitten and I are going to look at setting up a little Esty shop, selling collars and things for littles that are discreet.
Well that is enough of a ramble, must be up early, were off to Amsterdam!
Pixie x

Masturbation Monday

“Good girl”

With your fingers wrapped in my hair, forcing your cock further down my throat, making me gag a little as It goes. I try to relax and swallow your member, all the way down, ignoring as it hits the back of my throat. “Good girl” you growl, in a deep warm tone. A smile creeps across my lips, a gush of juices, begin to seep out of my folds, trickling down my thighs. “Good girl” is all it takes.
Your grip on my hair, tightens and you add a corkscrew motion, while you fuck my mouth, with your cock, like an expert. Guiding it in and out, not stopping, you keep up your pace. My hands snake downwards, between my thighs, my fingers dipping in to my panties. I run my finger skim through my slick folds, circling my clit, sending an involuntary shudder through my body. I let a moan around your cock, that makes you groan.
Your hand wrenches my mouth from your member, and you yank my head back, forcing to look up at you. with searing heat in your eyes, you free a hand from my hair, a slap my face. “ahah, little one, hands now. I remove my hands from my panties, and hold them up to you, like a child. You lace your fingers through mine, and gently say “open” and I obediently open my mouth as wide as I can, taking your cock back in to my mouth, but this time I’m on a mission, to hear those two little words again.
I use every trick I know, sucking, running my tongue up and down, over the head. I relax my throat and swallow as much of you as I can, and I hum, ever so slightly. I hear and feel you groan, tightening your grip on my fingers. You start to fuck my face harder and faster, until suddenly you start to cum, just as hard and fast. Spurt after spurt of burning hot cum, shoots in to my mouth and down my throat. I swallow it all, as much as I can, like a good girl.
You shudder one last time, pulling out of my mouth, leaving me panting hard for breath. You look down on me, towering above me. I look small, used, and abused. You pull me to my feet, in to your arms and up in to a kiss. You can taste yourself on my lips. Breaking away, looking in to my eyes, brushing my hair from my eyes, kissing my nose. “Good girl” you utter, just before you pick me up and sling me high up in your arms, take me off to the bedroom to misbehave.

Written for Masturbation Monday, go read the  other stories!

http://masturbationmonday.kaylalords.com/masturbation-monday-186/

 

 

broken brained, From the heart

Me and my mother, we have issues…

Well as you might have guessed this is not going to be a kink filled post, nor is it written by a happy little Pixie. A tired, tearful, and struggling pixie writes it, but it is something I need to sit and write about. If I don’t I may run mad or explode. It is written by a girl having to deal with feelings that she does know how to handle or know how to react to them. TI is coming off the back of one of the hardest days I have ever had to deal with.
So, what is it that has me so tied up in knots and left me reeling? Well this morning I got a phone call from my eldest sister, say that my mother had been taken in to hospital and that I needed to meet them at the hospital. Now this in its self is worrying and upsetting. But when you know how sick my mother is and that she is dying from cancer, well you get an idea of how frightened I was.
Getting to the hospital I was met my sisters, was lead trough to majors and confronted with my mother, looking tiny, lost and very sick. its then my sister dropped the bombshell, mother dearest is on her last legs, about to shuffle of this mortal coil. It hit me like a ton of breaks, but it also bounced right off me. I was in shock and numb. I have known for a long while how ill she is and that she was going to die, but I never thought she would do it! Please don’t think I’m being flippant or cruel or naive. As you will guess from the title, mother and I have problems, big, ugly problems.
We have never been close or ever got on. After I was born, she had to have a hysterectomy, meaning she could not have any more children. She desperately wanted a boy, and I put a stop to that. I have always felt that she held that against me or blamed me. She went back to work a mere 10 weeks after my birth and was never around as I grew up. I was lucky to have a great nana, who raised me, but I never really had my mum. My sisters are much more my mothers cup of tea. Both are whip smart, beautiful, and driven. I’ve always been timed, arty and a homebody, not something she liked, and made it very clear she did not like it.
As I got older she did things that hurt me very deeply. Almost continual verbal abuse and putting me down. She bullied me in to doing what she wanted and how she wanted. She also expected me to cheer my daddy up when he was low and left me with him in hospital after he tried to take his own life. She left me in his care when he was manic and ignored him hitting and punching me. when I found out I was pregnant a 16 she frogs marched me to the doctors for a termination. I went to university because she would not except me not going. But I dealt with it, with therapy, time, and love from people I trust and love.
However, the are things I won’t or can’t forgive. She knew my ex husband was beating me and knew how bad things were but chose to keep quiet about it. She blamed me for the break down of my marriage, when I tried so hard to fix the problems. She tried to turn my sister’s angst me when I tired to take my own life. But the biggest thing by far is her denying she had an alcohol problem. I should forgive and forget, but I just can’t. So, I have chosen to member and recover.
But now she is about to leave, I don’t know how to cope or deal with it all. After everything that has happened, after all that has been said and all the nasty things she has down, I still love her. I don’t like her, but I love her, she is my mum. Nobody told me how I should feel, or act or cope. So, I’m left trying to cope and come to terms with all that is going on.
I’m not looking for sympathy, well wishes or kind words. I just needed to get all this out, so I can start to deal with it. So, I will leave it there, and sleep on things or try to.
Pixie x

Eroticon, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail

The things I took away from Eroticon.

 

Well I thought I would join in with a post Eroticon post. I have limited myself, because if I listed everything I have taken away from it I would be here till next year’s Eroticon. (yes, that does mean I’m going next year and I’ve started saving already) So here goes.
. A goodie bag to end all goodie bags! Ok, so I had to start with the good bag, it was that good! Full of sexy and kinky little treats. Trust me, I love a goodie bag and with all the conferences I attended, I get through quite a few. But this one had great things that I / we will use. I got 2 mugs, one of which the Boss man has declared is going to work with him and little bear has called dibs on the other. But my fav thing of all must be a pencil, that one of the venders had burnt the outline of a naked lady on to. It will be going to college with me and will be my kink side, on view for the whole world to see, without being in your face.
. Became a published writer. Ok, so I sent a story into the anthology for Eroticon, and it got pic to be in it. Meaning that I came away with a story published in the anthology. I got a copy of the book at the event and have read it from cover to cover, and my what a clever bunch we are! I keep looking at it and crying.
. A new / free toy! The awesome Unihorn stardust clitoral vibrator from rocks off. I got talking to the lovely lady on the rocks off stand, and she asked if I reviewed toys? My answer was no, but it is something I have wanted to get in to doing for a very long time, well we all have really. So, she said if I came back at the end of the conference she would let me have the stardust and we could do a review. Well I did go back, I did get the stardust and I / we tried it out as soon as we got back to the hotel. Lol it in fact made me and the boss man rather late for dinner with his mother.
So now we have past the very pixie focused gains, let’s move on to the fluffier things I have gained, shall we……
‘Made new friends. on the first night, at the meet and greet I had managed to walk in to the holiday inn and was greeted by the wonderful Molly and Cara. Then I was introduced to Mr DomSigns and girl on the net. After that I did the normal me thing of trying to blend in and make myself as little as I could. However, having a bad case of baby / pregnancy brain I tried to this right by the coat rack! Luckily the was another lady doing pretty much the same as me, I think I bumped in to her and we got talking. After 10 minutes of people wanting to hang coats up and being in the way, we venture upstairs to the main room and got a set. This was a great move and we talked to people! Lol the lovely lady I made friends with on the first night, was the epic Sharron Atkinson, and we pretty much stuck together the whole weekend. To be honest, she was my saving grace. A fair few times I got panicked, sad and wanted to go hide, but she made me smile and talked to me. we sat together to eat and hung out in free time. I even talked to people and relaxed a little bit.
. Found out big fancy bloggers are real people – ok so be that I mean that bloggers who I follow and really look up to, are real people. They are flesh and blood. They breath, sneeze, and fart like us mere mortals. I even manged to talk to some of them without going all fan girl and silly.
. Had my belief that academics are approachable – Ok this down to the amazing Madeleine Morris. I sat in on both of her talks and was impressed by both. She speaks with such passion and knowledge on her subject, I was slightly in awe. I grow up in a family full of self-precelled academics, who I always felt as if I should worship them and be a little frightened of them. But at university I was blessed to work with legends, who were ‘Academics’ and changed my outlook on education and learning. But then over recent years, I sadly had people who were very much my first idea of academics, least of all my sisters. So, when I met Madeleine at Eroticon on the Sunday morning, in between napping with knobby and Elvis, and had 10-minute conversation about pollution, sinuses problems, snoring, my ex-husband, and plastic surgery, well let’s say I’m back to thinking that academics rock.
. That I can be sociable – Ok so I made it to the meet and greet, the conference and the Saturday night social. On my own, talking to people and not freaking out. I’m not saying it wasn’t hard and that I enjoyed the whole thing, but I did it on my own without the Boss man or one of the girls. That has not happened in a very, very long time.
. Got a kick up the ass – This was very much needed for me. My writing and blogging has been on the back burner over last month or so, and I had to the point of thinking of just stopping it all together. I was tired, mind body and soul. But being with other people, who are so excited by what they do, sort of rubbed off on me a little.
. Inspiration – I mean to say how could not come away a little bit inspired? I for one am breaming with ideas of things I want to do and try! Lol I have even started pestering sir beasty about writing again!
. Comfortable, being me – ok so this is one of the biggest things I have taken away from Eroticon. I got to be 100% myself. I was the collar wearing, little pixie. nobody batted an eyelid that for a lot of it I was sat cuddling an anxiety blob or sat on the floor or in some ways little. No touched me or tried to make me do things that are hard for me. I was accepted as me.
. Got my Sunday craft fix – To me Sunday is full of 3 things, Mass, Crafting and
Fucking. I went to Mass before the Sunday morning session and fucked in the evening, but I also got my Sunday crafting fix. Thanks to Andrew and Pixie of kinkcraft. Knobby even got a lush new collar! It was also made better by it being in a nice quiet room, full of lovelies like Candysnatchreiews, Kayla Lords, wriggle kitty and John Brownstone.

Now this is where I thought I would be closing this post, and I really was going to, but life is never that simple. The have this week been a lot of talk and chatter in this house hold, largely bought on by Eroticon. I had a slight break down on Sunday night / Monday morning, about a lot of stuff I have had going on. I’m not going to bore you with the in’s and outs of it all. But the have been some major changes in my life. I’m going to list the changes and I will go in to more details over the coming weeks, cos I don’t have the words yet to explain why they have had to happen. So here you go ….
• I have stepped down from all my jobs, bare my privet clients and rescue work.
• I’m going to spend a while enjoying being a mummy
• I’m going to be working on my blog and writing
• I will be doing more kink focused things
• I’m cutting ties with a lot of my family
• I’m having a proper holiday and visiting some of my friends I have not seen in a long time
• I’m going to be looking in to setting up an Etsy shop with Kitten
• We are going house hunting in New jersey.
So that is the end of a very rambling post!
See you all next year?!?!

Pixie x

From the heart

I watch you…..

I watch you…
Each finger first unbuttons, then unzips, slowly applying pressure to fabric
Looking up, a blaze of red blushing cheeks and eyes, giggling…

I watch you…

Each finger first unbuttons, then unzips, slowly applying pressure to fabric
Looking up, a blaze of red blushing cheeks and eyes, giggling…
My heart beat races and I force myself to slow it down
You always giggle. It is one of those things I love the most. Not beautiful body, but ageless spirit
Removing the days wears from your sore overworked self,

I watch you…

To see each curve, each line; so perfect it makes me imagine
I see the pants, once tight and becoming curving against cheeks
Now being thrown it a corner, forgotten in a basket of other forgotten things.
Sad, but I know if I prowl out from where I perch, they will smell like your perfume and feel warm to the touch…
For a moment they will still mimic the beautiful woman that wore them

I turn back, sensing rather than seeing movement; to the uppers now
Seeing the flat of your stomach, sexy,

I watch you…

exposed to me and exciting, that feeling begins to pulse within me
The hunter is coming out
Arms are over your head and giggle, again
I crawl up to the spot on the bed closest to you
Slinking, stalking your scent, your radiance,

I watch you…

Blowing on your skin, moving upward from china white belly to red lace
Enjoying each goose bump as it stands up on your skin

Now I am the hunter and you, my only desire
As the sweater comes off, exposing your shoulders
the silky white creamy skin, smelling of roses
tasting of your days exhaustions and excitations, still,

I watch you…

Waiting for my moment to pounce
To reveal my hiding place within your presence
Your hair falling all to hell in your face
you are stunningly beautiful in all ways.
You look at me and giggle
as your hands runs over your breasts
down your tummy and your fingers find a place in your red lace panties. Oh, How

I watch you..

Pleasure yourself slightly, all for my pleasure
Your fingers are playing along that sensitive spot that I love to place my tongue
you look up tip of your tongue playing the corner of your mouth
playing at driving me crazy

The game is on and the hunter is hungry
Playing for keeps. You are pure sex to me.. Love, unconditional
You run your fingers into your arousal and pull them out
one for you and one in my mouth
I drool and suck it hard.
I have tasted what I want and it will be Mine

I watch you…

Up on all fours, I come
Stalking you in the sheets and the pillows of this love nest
Disarray that may work to my advantage tonight
Growling, I may yet have you and keep you, tasting your every gift…

You pat my head and walk out of reach but my hands grab you
and you turn, not taking hand off ass
firm and lovely

You give me the ‘hands off’ look with a gentle smile, recounting “I would just watch you”
Defeated, I comply with your wish, as I always do
dressing slowly, revolvingly around the spot were you stand
One finger in your mouth, one in mine…And, as usual
I watch you

broken brained, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail

Accident waiting to happen!

So, many people think they are the most accident-prone person in the world, right? Well I can without any doubt say that they are all wrong. I can even say I know who the clumsiest and most accident-prone person is, because it happens to be me! No really, it’s me.
I have been like it since I was a tiny kid. If I could fall off something, bump my head, brake, or drop things I did. I have no idea how I made it to adulthood. The first big and noteworthy accident happened when my sisters and I got sent to stay with my aunty Molly and uncle Stan on their farm in county Antrim. The was a loose slate on a roof of they barn, and me being, at the time the smallest and lightest of us, I got sent up to fix it. (don’t judge, this was in the 80’s and long before health and safety). well I got to the top of the ladder, shimmed along and just as I finished fixing the slate in place, I stupidly looked down and slipped. I throw out my hands to steady myself, throwing the hammer in my hand flying, and put my foot through the roof. I manged to get my foot out, and get back to the ladder, making my way down. Only to be greeted at the bottom by my aunty Molly looking cross and uncle Stan on the floor with broken glasses, a huge lump on his head and covered in blood. In my defence, who sends a child up a ladder to fix a roof?!

The was another time that I as on holiday on the south coast of England, in lovely little village called whittering. My daddy took me and my sister off to do a spot of crabbing. I was walking along a wall by the sea, lost in my own little world of fluffy unirons and rainbows, when my daddy yelled at me to look what I was doing. Slightly startled I turned to look at him but kept walking. Not looking where I was going, I came to the end of said wall and walked straight off the end of it. I don’t recall very much after that, apart from getting back to are tent, covered in very smell, sticky mud, and sore arm. Frog marched to the shower, by my hopping mad nana, and scrubbed clean, I remember saying my wrist hurt and felt funny. Nana when running to get my daddy and I was taken to A&E. after x-rays, a doctor said I had a displaced fracture and that it would need to be put back in place and then plastered. Daddy thought I would need to be asleep to have that done, but no, the doctor just pulled it there and then. Bloody hurt! My sister Sophie, still to this day takes the micky out of my over it by mocking the ‘Agrgh oww aghrrr’ that I apparently made when I fell off the wall!

I some how manged to get to the age of 16 without killing myself or anybody else. Then I got my first job working in McDonalds. (oh, the shame). Well I made through the first week ok. I was being trained on the grill and the manger was telling me about the ‘ansle system’ . it was, as I remember a fire extensor thing that you pushed if the grill court on fire. It would cover the grill and everything around it in a yellow powder. Well all was going so well when I stooped down to do up my shoe lace, getting up I sort of head butted the manager training me in the nuts, and stepping back in shock and horror, and bumped in to something with my bum. Next thing I knew the whole of the grill area, backroom and half the front counter were covered in yellow powder. Luck for me the manger saw the funny side to this and did not sack me. That’s not to say I did not have any more accidents, nope they still happened. I stumbled filing up the shake machine and poured 10 little of shake mix down my front, I got my hand stuck in the inside of a yellow wet floor sign and had to sit in the walk-in chiller till my hand cooed off and I could get it out. Oh, and I manged to knock myself out, by tripping and head butting a customer.

I decided to stop for the day with them after I sort of eltricuted a rather vile floor manager. I was putting the shake machine together one morning, when I need to get some more lube from the stoke room. So off I went to get it, but I only got half way before the was a big bang, a scream and the lights went out. Running back to the front counter to find said floor manger laying on the floor, looking dazed and confused, holding a burnt hand up. Turns out she thought I had finished, tried to pull a shake and something was exposed or stuck. She tried to push it back, but it decided to fiddle with it and got a shock, in every sense of the word.

As I moved on to university and things calmed down a little on the accident front. Sure, I set off the fire alarms in halls at least once a week and the were hundreds of times I got locked out of my room, but that happens to everyone right? I worked in shop in Camden market for a while and was asked to clean out the loft space with collige on Sunday. They went up first, followed by me. but I missed a rung of the ladder, slide down, hitting my chine on the loft opening, splitting it open. The ladder went flying, I fell flat on my face, knocking myself out and leaving said colleague stranded in the loft.

After university was done with and my working life started the accidents kept happening. I set fire to a bin in a workroom, I tripped, and head butted a window in a meeting room, and I dislocated a knee by kneeling on a very hard floor. When I made the move to working in the film industry, I took a lot more care, making sure I did not do a ‘Pixie’. I kept hurting myself to myself, I mean it’s not fair to inflict other people with unneeded booboos!

After my break up with my ex and the full out from that, well everyone wanted to wrap me in cotton wool, so I went through a good amount of time without hurting myself. But that was not for want of trying. I mean I was not allowed to use a razor without someone watching me, knives, and scissors where out of bounds and I was not allowed to shower with the bathroom door shut for a good 12 months. (If I sound flippant or blazed about this, I’m not, I promise. But the way I deal with trying to kill myself and the full out from it is by poking fun at it). But in spite of this I still dropped things, broke things, and got ouchies. My darling Maîtriser was one of the first people in my life to say “Pixie, you are just clumsy. You don’t mean it to happen, its just how you are built.”. He put rules to lessen the chances of my hurting myself, but also saw that being watch 24/7 was not helping me get better. So, he gave me free time and I was allowed a 20 min bath every day, with a closed bathroom door. I love him so much for trusting me and believing in me. (ok depressing part over)

Not to say I stop having accident altogether, but they are a lot less now. Well I did have a big one dusting. You see I was dusting the DVD unit thing in the living room. I was moving the sky box, thinning bob, tripped on the mat, knocked over the vase of flowers, and pulling the tv bizarre all at the same. Water went over the plugs and tv, the was a massive bang, smoke, and total loss of power. I still don’t know what or how ii did it put half my street was without and had to have generators for the weekend. I have also broken a dishwasher, 3 microwaves and a washing machine trying to fix things. So now if something is not working right I must tell Babe and let her fix it. I am also not allowed a posh phone like an iPhone as I have a habit of cracking screens or dropping them.
O you can see why some people say knowing pixie can be bad for your health. But the Boss Man says I’m just accident prone and he loves me for it. It just means he gets to look after me a little harder.

Well I hope that my Misfortune has made you at least smile,

Hugs,
Pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail

And still….

It’s 4 am, and I’m still wide awake. My heart hurts, my bones ache, I still taste you on my lips. Every time I close my eyes, images of the last few days dance across my mind, in beautiful vivid colour. I still feel the burning touch of you fingers, as they traced circles over skin. You left only a few hours ago, but with in moment of the door closing behind you, I was hit with the craving for you. I try to fight my addiction for you, and still I want more of you.

I’m laid on the crumpled sheets, where your musky scent lingers, long after you have left. I play back the passion and energy of are love making from the night before. We matched each other, move for move. Instinctively knowing what the other need. You were gentle and loving when I needed, commanding and strong when I needed you to be, and still I let you get up and walk out the door .

Sitting up I see you tie still knotted to the head board, reminding me of how you tied my heads out of the way, causing me to blush. I give up ideas of sleep, pushing myself up and out of bed. stopping to look at my reflection in the mirror, gazing at my body. My bruised breast, puff lower lip and hair that is a tozzled mess. I feel the blush creep from my core, burning like fire. I can’t look away, and still I need your arms round me to make me believe everything you said.

Closing my eyes, drawing in a steading breath, holding on to my dressing table for support. My mind is playing tricks on me, I could swear I heard the door open and soft foot steps coming towards me. then I feel your hands take a firm grip of my arm and my eyes fly open as you spin my round to face you, kissing me and pulling to your chest. Then come the only word I need to know. “I’m staying, I still love you”

For Little Bear, cos even when you drive me mad, I will always love you! x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

The little things that mean so much.

Over the weekend I was struggling with some stuff. My sisters were being spiteful and unhelpful. My body decided to not like me and cause me to be in shit load of pain. (I had to take oral morphine on Friday night). MY work load is crazy busy, with only being 2 weeks till Crufts. Adding to the stress was my mother being vile and falling off the waggon, again! All this left me feeling low and very tearful. Luckily, I have great support at home and we found ways round all of it. I also with permission reached out to people on twitter. It was Saturday night Sunday morning, that I read a tweet by @Girly_Juice about how her Daddy had ordered her a pizza, as she was too emotionally discombobulated to figure out how to get food and feed herself. (we have all been there). It was a lovely, caring and extremely romantic thing to do, and proves he is a great Daddy. It also made me think about all the things that my family do for me that show how much they love me. yes, they are big some pretty big thing, like going to treatment with me or going to therapy with me or stepping in when everyday life overwhelms me. But the things that mean the most, are the little things. I said to maîtriser that I was grateful for all the little things that he and the girls do to help me or to show me I’m loved. He liked this a great deal, deciding that I should make a list of 5 things for each of the family, as a kind of giving back and mindfulness task for me. So here goes!

Maîtriser:
• Lunch time phone call, that always starts with ‘How’s my girl?”
• Sitting with me to do help me with my homework on Tuesday nights and Sunday afternoons.
• Works from home for on Thursday, to look after the babies, so I can go to college.
• Sits with me while I do Lego or crafts, writing and talking to me.
• Deals with all my finances, so I don’t have to and, so I don’t need deal with family members asking for finical help.
Babe:
• Will wash ad dry my her when I’m stressed.
• Encouraged and help me plan written and verbal pitches for course ideas.
• Goes to Doctor appointments with me.
• Make my ‘little’ dinners and lunches.
• Will sit with me when I’m freaking out and helps me figure out why and helps me calm down.
Kitten:
• Always willing to cuddle in bed or on the sofa.
• Always has words of comfort when I’m stressed
• Has stood up to my sisters when they are being super mean.
• Lets me fuss over her when she’s poorly.
• Will sit with while I have a bath and make me giggle about stuff.
Little Bear:
• Always able to make me giggle not matter how crap feel.
• Let me tech her how to cook and clean house.
• Act silly and asks me to explain things.
• Lets me fuss over her and always asks if I can do things with her.
• Put me as her next of kin.
So, there it is. To be fair I could have come up with hundreds for them, but I think he wanted me to really think about them carefully. What it makes me see that I really do love the bunch of nutters!

Question time., Uncategorized

Question time with the girls and …. Petra Pan Reviews

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So up today doing question time with me and the girls is the wonderful Petra Pan Reviews. A sex blogger, writer, sex toy tester and member of the pleasure pannle. So here’s her Q&a…
1. What are your guilty pleasures?

Sexy lingerie. Spanking paddles. And hash brown and sausage sandwiches, with brown sauce.

2. What are your pet peeves and why?

Rudeness; there’s just no need! And sexism really winds me up. And bad driving. I also find Debbie Dingle from Emmerdale irritating.

3. What advice would you give to a first-time sex toy user?

Experiment, and don’t be shy! There’s a whole world of fun awaiting you. I would also start small with some toys, such as anal, to let your body get used to it and avoid any painful moments.

4. What’s your favourite breakfast ever?

Full English, every time!

5. What advice would you give an 18-year-old you, knowing what you know now?

Don’t take any s**t! Stick up for yourself more and believe in yourself. And stop worrying about how you look! Also, don’t obsess over your hair, there are more important things in life!

6. What things take up way too much of your time?

Sleep. I am a champion sleeper, I love it. But I get over 9 hours per night and I probably don’t need that much! I also nap a lot!

7. What would be your ideal way to spend a weekend?

In a spa with my husband, being massaged, then swimming and having a sauna and jacuzzi. Then taking a nap. And then a lovely meal with a couple of glasses of fizz. Then another small nap, and then a cracking movie with some nibbles, with someone providing a scalp massage. Then some sexy time, then sleep (see what I mean about sleeping too much?!)

8. Your top 5 books?

The Sedona Method is my number 1, without doubt. It’s a kind of self-help. I love it and practice it every day.
Eckhart Tolle’s The Power Of Now, for some spiritual guidance.
The Ladykiller by Martina Cole, a gangster thriller.
Is Harry On The Boat, a raunchy beach book.
Annabelle Knight’s The Endless Autumn for a bit more raunch.

9. If you could have a super power what would it be and why?

Transportation. I could visit the arctic to see the penguins, then click my fingers and come home to the warmth!

10. Where do you want to visit and why?

I love to travel, but I’m yet to visit Canada, Iceland, Scandinavia and India. They are on my list!

Silly questions from little bear:

Why is there always fluff in your belly button?

It’s not fluff. It’s a little quilt for my belly button.

Apples, grapes, or bananas?

Grapes. Also known as wine.

McDonalds or Burger King?

I tend to avoid both, but Burger King if I get a craving!

Do you have any pets?

Yes – three dogs, all rescues. One from England, one from Ireland and one from Greece!

Bath or Shower?

A nice hot bath with scented oils and candles!

If you want to find out more about her you you can find her at Random red rose  Or on twitter at @PetraPanReviews

Masturbation Monday, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail

That time in the carpark, For Sir Beasty.

We, as a family are high protocol, but we are quite relaxed about them a lot of the time. However, the are 3 places that maîtriser does not allow practical to be relaxed at all, the bedroom, clubs, or the gym.

The Boss Man is a little bit of a gym rat and takes really good care of himself. In turn he expects us girls to take care of ourselves. When we are at the gym we are to do are workout or training. Quietly, correctly and without drawing to much attention to are selves. Phones are allowed, but on silent and no taking of selfies.
Well imagen if you will a day when this little pixie was feeling a little bit brassy (shout out to Kayla Lords and John Brownstone for my new favourite word!). I had thrown a strop, well as good as I can throw a strop about not wanting to go to the gym and wanting to stay home and cuddle.
The Boss Man was having none of that, nope he dragged my whiny butt to the gym and told me to quite stropping or else. So, I did, but I decide to send boob pics to Sir Beasty. Something I can do if I ask maîtriser first, but I didn’t ask!

Well 5 minutes later my phone pinged loudly and then rang even louder. I squeaked, jumped, and dropped my phone. Scrambling to pick it up and turn it off. I managed to kick over my water bottle that just happened to have the cap of and the contesens went all over the floor.

Hearing and seeing all this, the boss man sauntered over, clad in his grey sweat pants, pleasingly tight blue t-shirt, and trainers. Looking pissed off beyond belief and with a wicked glint in his eye. He snatched my phone out of my hand, scowled through it, and shoved it back at me with a growl. Turning and walking off, but not before he said, ‘you’re working out with me now little one’. Words that send fear straight to my heart when I misbehave and we are at the gym. I grab up my things and scurry after him, and then the punishment starts. He makes me not only run, but do my legs and core work out, demanding perfect form and execution. by the time his was done with me, I’m a sweaty mess and not in a good way. He snarls in a low growl to get showed and changed and meet him in the foyer in 10 mins. Then his gone and I haul ass to get showered and ready in 10 minutes.

I just about managed to get done with my shower and changed in the allotted time. Still doing up the last two buttons of my dress, I find him stood chatting and smiling, in the lobby with big Steve. He was his normal warm and loving self. Giving me a hug and kiss on the head. He takes hold of my hand and for a minute I thought I was safe, that my punishment was over. How wrong could I be. As soon as we are out the building, he sped up his pace and his happy demine disappears. When we get to the car I stop and wait for the car door is opened, but all he does is was snatch my bag from my hand and throws them in the trunk with his own. Slamming it shut he, turns around, grabs me round the waist pulling me to him and turning at the same time so I have my back to him. Biting my neck and pulling my dress open, he tells me what a bad girl I’ve been. Roughly manhandling my boobs, he drags me from the side of the car to rear, forcing me to bend over trunk, face down, butt up!

The next thing I feel is the cool spring breeze on my bare bum as he rips my panties off and pulls my dress up over my rear. Then Comes a growl and I’m told to count. Next is the shock, jolt and sting of his hand meeting my bare skin. He has a way of spanking me that not only stings and leaves a lovely bruise, but also shocks and send a shudder to my core.

The slaps rain down on me, one after the other, and all the time I count allowed, knowing to well if I cry out or stop counting, I’ll just end up with more. I end up getting 15 on each cheek, and as always with spankings I’m turned on. Adding to the excitement and pleasure is my love of playing in in public spaces, and well I was a very wet little mouse. Knowing this you he decides to check that I’m not enjoying it too much. He roughly sticks his fingers in my dripping wet cunt and tells me how much of a bad girl I am. One hand pushdown on my neck and the other continues to fuck my hungry pussy.

Then he stands up and growls ‘open’ and kicks my feet apart. If I did not know what was coming, I hear him undoing his belt and drawing down his fly. I feel him moving closer, his hand on my bum, the heat coming from his groan. But his first thrust is so sharp and sudden that it is almost painful, and it causes me to half scream, half gasp in pleasure. One of his hands goes on my neck, holding me down. The other pulls me closer to him and then holds my hip to keep me in place. Each thrust is hard and deep, and painfully slow. Then he gives an extra hard thrust, that draws a scream from deep inside me.

It’s then I hear a door opening and music flittering out from the Italian restraint that is below the gym. I hear a shocked gasp and feel a rumbling laugh from the Boss Man. I turn my head, to the side and my eyes meet with that of a shocked looking man from the rest ant. It is then that it hits me full force, I’m be fucked, bent over the trunk of a car in a carpark, that although is not on a busy main road. The are train going by, as well as cars and busses. Knowing that anyone can see us, and we could get in to a heap of trouble, makes me gasp and clench his cock tighter and makes me wetter than ever.

He keeps my head turned and tells me to watch the guy from the restraint. His fucking becomes harder, if that is possible and god help me, but I start fucking him back, wanting to put on a show. The guy watching is clearly liking what he is seeing. I let my moans turn to screams as I watch him rubbing his cock through his trousers. I start to beg to bellowed to come, but the boss man tells me to hold it. His close, I can feel him swell inside me. I start clenching and adding a twist of my hips as I fuck him back.

With a shout of ‘good girl’ he comes with savage thrust and then he shouts’ come for me little one, now’ and that is just what I do. I scream as I’m hit with a climax that makes me see stars, feel like I’m being split in half and loose all sense of what is going on around me.

 

When I come back down to earth I relies that Boss man is laid on top of me, with all his weight on top of me, squashing me a little, in a totally delouse way. Sweating and panting, he stands up, pulling my dress down to cover my well fucked cunt and glowing bum. He pulls me upright and in to a demanding kiss. Bundling me in to the car, waving at the guy who had been watching us. I now I’m going home to face some more punishment in the bed room and the shower, but that’s for another time 😉

 

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