Masturbation Monday, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail

That time in the carpark, For Sir Beasty.

We, as a family are high protocol, but we are quite relaxed about them a lot of the time. However, the are 3 places that maîtriser does not allow practical to be relaxed at all, the bedroom, clubs, or the gym.

The Boss Man is a little bit of a gym rat and takes really good care of himself. In turn he expects us girls to take care of ourselves. When we are at the gym we are to do are workout or training. Quietly, correctly and without drawing to much attention to are selves. Phones are allowed, but on silent and no taking of selfies.
Well imagen if you will a day when this little pixie was feeling a little bit brassy (shout out to Kayla Lords and John Brownstone for my new favourite word!). I had thrown a strop, well as good as I can throw a strop about not wanting to go to the gym and wanting to stay home and cuddle.
The Boss Man was having none of that, nope he dragged my whiny butt to the gym and told me to quite stropping or else. So, I did, but I decide to send boob pics to Sir Beasty. Something I can do if I ask maîtriser first, but I didn’t ask!

Well 5 minutes later my phone pinged loudly and then rang even louder. I squeaked, jumped, and dropped my phone. Scrambling to pick it up and turn it off. I managed to kick over my water bottle that just happened to have the cap of and the contesens went all over the floor.

Hearing and seeing all this, the boss man sauntered over, clad in his grey sweat pants, pleasingly tight blue t-shirt, and trainers. Looking pissed off beyond belief and with a wicked glint in his eye. He snatched my phone out of my hand, scowled through it, and shoved it back at me with a growl. Turning and walking off, but not before he said, ‘you’re working out with me now little one’. Words that send fear straight to my heart when I misbehave and we are at the gym. I grab up my things and scurry after him, and then the punishment starts. He makes me not only run, but do my legs and core work out, demanding perfect form and execution. by the time his was done with me, I’m a sweaty mess and not in a good way. He snarls in a low growl to get showed and changed and meet him in the foyer in 10 mins. Then his gone and I haul ass to get showered and ready in 10 minutes.

I just about managed to get done with my shower and changed in the allotted time. Still doing up the last two buttons of my dress, I find him stood chatting and smiling, in the lobby with big Steve. He was his normal warm and loving self. Giving me a hug and kiss on the head. He takes hold of my hand and for a minute I thought I was safe, that my punishment was over. How wrong could I be. As soon as we are out the building, he sped up his pace and his happy demine disappears. When we get to the car I stop and wait for the car door is opened, but all he does is was snatch my bag from my hand and throws them in the trunk with his own. Slamming it shut he, turns around, grabs me round the waist pulling me to him and turning at the same time so I have my back to him. Biting my neck and pulling my dress open, he tells me what a bad girl I’ve been. Roughly manhandling my boobs, he drags me from the side of the car to rear, forcing me to bend over trunk, face down, butt up!

The next thing I feel is the cool spring breeze on my bare bum as he rips my panties off and pulls my dress up over my rear. Then Comes a growl and I’m told to count. Next is the shock, jolt and sting of his hand meeting my bare skin. He has a way of spanking me that not only stings and leaves a lovely bruise, but also shocks and send a shudder to my core.

The slaps rain down on me, one after the other, and all the time I count allowed, knowing to well if I cry out or stop counting, I’ll just end up with more. I end up getting 15 on each cheek, and as always with spankings I’m turned on. Adding to the excitement and pleasure is my love of playing in in public spaces, and well I was a very wet little mouse. Knowing this you he decides to check that I’m not enjoying it too much. He roughly sticks his fingers in my dripping wet cunt and tells me how much of a bad girl I am. One hand pushdown on my neck and the other continues to fuck my hungry pussy.

Then he stands up and growls ‘open’ and kicks my feet apart. If I did not know what was coming, I hear him undoing his belt and drawing down his fly. I feel him moving closer, his hand on my bum, the heat coming from his groan. But his first thrust is so sharp and sudden that it is almost painful, and it causes me to half scream, half gasp in pleasure. One of his hands goes on my neck, holding me down. The other pulls me closer to him and then holds my hip to keep me in place. Each thrust is hard and deep, and painfully slow. Then he gives an extra hard thrust, that draws a scream from deep inside me.

It’s then I hear a door opening and music flittering out from the Italian restraint that is below the gym. I hear a shocked gasp and feel a rumbling laugh from the Boss Man. I turn my head, to the side and my eyes meet with that of a shocked looking man from the rest ant. It is then that it hits me full force, I’m be fucked, bent over the trunk of a car in a carpark, that although is not on a busy main road. The are train going by, as well as cars and busses. Knowing that anyone can see us, and we could get in to a heap of trouble, makes me gasp and clench his cock tighter and makes me wetter than ever.

He keeps my head turned and tells me to watch the guy from the restraint. His fucking becomes harder, if that is possible and god help me, but I start fucking him back, wanting to put on a show. The guy watching is clearly liking what he is seeing. I let my moans turn to screams as I watch him rubbing his cock through his trousers. I start to beg to bellowed to come, but the boss man tells me to hold it. His close, I can feel him swell inside me. I start clenching and adding a twist of my hips as I fuck him back.

With a shout of ‘good girl’ he comes with savage thrust and then he shouts’ come for me little one, now’ and that is just what I do. I scream as I’m hit with a climax that makes me see stars, feel like I’m being split in half and loose all sense of what is going on around me.

 

When I come back down to earth I relies that Boss man is laid on top of me, with all his weight on top of me, squashing me a little, in a totally delouse way. Sweating and panting, he stands up, pulling my dress down to cover my well fucked cunt and glowing bum. He pulls me upright and in to a demanding kiss. Bundling me in to the car, waving at the guy who had been watching us. I now I’m going home to face some more punishment in the bed room and the shower, but that’s for another time 😉

 

http://masturbationmonday.kaylalords.com/masturbation-monday-182/

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

New year, Better me!

New year, Better me!
Well 2017 is gone and I find myself in a reflective mood. For a lot of people, I know 2017 was not the best of year. With loss, illness, big ass storms and Donny-j. For me it was full of lows and highs. It was the year my daddy got sicker, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I lost friends and family and my depression and anxiety decided to kick me in the butt. But it was also a year of great personal growth for me. I found my fit as a wife, blogger, and feminist. But by fair the best thing of 2017 was becoming a mother to my beautiful twin girls. I know a lot more to life that being a mum, but when you have thought for many years that it is something you’re not going to get to do. Well when you do, it blows your mind. I never knew I could love something so deeply and fiercely as I do them.
I have seen loads of people posting their new year resolutions, but you won’t be seeing any from me. We don’t make them, as maîtriser thinks it away of setting yourself for an unnecessary fail. What we do is sit down and make a list of targets and goals we want to work towards and plan how we can achieve them. it’s something we do every 3 months and we cover pretty much every aspect of are lives. Even maîtriser does it and will let us set goals for him! We sat down on Friday last week and did are lists. This is where I admit that I love the whole planning side of this. I get to get all my gel pens and stickers out. It’s really good fun!
Some of my goal for the next 3 months are: Loose the last of the baby weight and 15lbs extra, run my dogs at crufts, attend eroticon, pitch some ideas at other blogs, do my muck run training, more swimming lessons and get my new and improved blog up and running!
Maîtriser has also sat down with my and we have set some goals for my blog. Such as post a min of 3 times a week, keeping up to date with emails and upping the number of followers to my blog. Lol one of my friends got me a bloggers journal and a diary that is designed for people who have autism, that have been amazing. They are fun, clear, easy to use and don’t feel like they are shouting at me. So, yay!

I have also decided that I want really work on my English. Not just writing, but spelling, grammar, punctuation and understanding. This came about after several nasty comments about my spelling and grammar. I’m dyslexic and have Anxious ADD, so that makes learning and understanding really flipping tough at times. adding to this I grow up speaking a mix of Irish Gaelic and Russian you can see why English is something I have ongoing struggles with it! But I have Bob my English tutor tailoring lessons for help with this. Also, Sir Beasty is stepping in to help with editing my work, so it’s a case of bring it on!

So, as I wave good bye to 2017, I’m hitting the ground running in 2018, so bring it 2018!

Hugs,

Pixie x

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

oppsss I did it again, well sort of!

So I was meant to be sitting down and confessing to my sins , and I will , but something happened when maîtriser was handing out punishment and telling why I was getting punishment. I disagreed with him on a couple of points, and he actually stopped, thought about what I said, and agreed with me. Now to a lot of you this would sound like I was being blushy and naughty for not just taking my punishment and that maîtriser should have just stamped down on my disagreement . But we roll a little different here in the Beaulac  household. I do what I’m asked , without hesitation 95% of the time, no really I do. But I also have the right to ask questions if I want or need to and I am allowed to disagree with maîtriser and point out why I disagree. As long as I do it politely and respectfully . Most of the time , when I disagree with something we will sit down and talk about it, and nine times out ten , I see that I’ve got it all ass about tit. (no I really do!) But this time , well I got it right , and an apologue from maîtriser, and he never says sorry unless he means it!

But back to the fessing up part, So here goes again…..

  • I went out without a coat on and got court in the rain.
  • wore the wrong shoes out, getting wet feet in the rain and blisters.
  • I forgot to do BG levels 5 times in a week.
  • I refused Pain meds , when I needed them.
  • I refused sleep meds, When I needed them.
  • I exceed my step count by 1800 steps 4 days in a row.
  • I stayed up past my bed 3 days in a row.
  • I allowed my sister to speak to me in a rude and aggressive manner.
  • I listen to my mother and took what she said to heart.
  • I forgot to write in my diary 2 days in a row.

My punishment for these rule breaks are as follows:

  • Kitten will be testing my BG level 3 times a day for next week.
  • I will wear what ever maîtriser tells to, without questions  for the next week.
  • I have to Keep a food diary , on top of my normal diary for the next week.
  • My bedtime is moved to 9.30 instead of 11pm for the next week.
  • CNC is inforced for the next week.
  • I will do a daily mantra and extra  mindfulness for the next week.

The points I disagreed with were:

I allowed my father in the house without maîtriser being home. – Yes I did allow him in the house , but aunty may was here , the weather was very bad and he was locked out of his flat, meaning he could have got hurt. I also phoned maîtriser as soon as I could and asked aunty may and uncle fred to stay till you came home to take my daddy home. – It was agreed that these were fair points and that I missed out punishment for this rule break.

I did not eat all my meals and snacks on 3 days in a row. – I disagree with as I have been on very strong antibiotics and they have been making me really sick and tired. I skip snack and ate a little less , so I would not be sick and kept my medication down. – it was agreed that this was a fair point, but I should have asked for antisickness medication. So Although I should have told someone, maîtriser that he understood that I was feeling very unwell, so I am let off this rule break.

I shouted at Babe when she told my off for forgetting my phone when I went to the doctors. – I disagreed with this as I believe I only raised my voice and was extremely worried about my chest and asthma . She has even said that she judge her timing and impact of what she said. After speaking to Babe , maîtriser agreed that it was not as bad as he first thought, but I should of taking my phone no mater what, but he except worry over took my thinking. So I have been let off this rule break.

So that’s all of it , promise! maîtriser is also making me email all this to everyone, so yay! any way , I’m off to bed!!!

Hugs,

Pixie x

bdsm, Diary, From the heart, Poly life, Uncategorized

Reading, thinking and 1 to 5 –

Last night (Sunday) after maîtriser told me new rules / punishments, I was sat thinking about them and the #SoSS  post on twitter. One of the things I have to do this week is read at least 3 blog post a day and then discus them with either maîtriser Or Babe . I had an idea, I love the blogs I follow , but I sometimes get a little overwhelmed by the amount of awesome post , I mean the are so many of them , where would I start! Then I had a light bulb moment , why not use the #SoSS posts! then I get help picking what to read and I know I’m reading the cream of the crop! So I asked maîtriser if I could do that and it was met with a smile, nod of his head and kiss. The fact he said ‘that’s   a good girl , think outside the box, I’m so proud of you’ was a huge bonus! (:

So yesterdays #SOSS was the Lovely and very talented Candysnacthreviews . I chose to use her #SoSS candy’s pick and mix 4. Just want to say that as always it was beautifully written and layer out I an extremely inviting way.

Getting Lucky – Scandarella – Story Written for Masturbation that is so hot I may have had to calm myself down , twice! Beautifully written , great visualisation and exquisite use of language. Love every second of this and I even read it to the girls as a bedtime story last night!

Crying after sex:two stories – Girl on the net. – Such a relatable piece of writing , that was so emotive that I had a lump in my throat and by the end I had tears streaming down om y checks. I think that anyone who has ever suffered with depression or anxiety well of felt this and this just sums up those feelings so perfectly.

Living With Invisible Bisexuality When You Look Hetero – Cara Sutra – Yet another piece that I could whole heartedly relate to! Being bi and poly myself , I look for the best like a normal(ish) hetro female. I had never stopped and really thought about it that much before, but I do. it also kind of makes why people are so shocked when they see me and kitten or little bear kissing in public! Thus really made me stop and think about it

Rosie Heart – Why i love doing sex work (and why it should’t mater) – A very thought-provoking and genuinely moving piece of writing . It made me look at sex workers in a different light completely (not that I looked down on them or anything like that) Really loved this and will be reading more of her stuff!

The Oooh Review!!! Leatherette Vixen Full Body Harness Review – Really awesome review of a product that not only made me want to try it , but made think ‘ I really want to review stuff, I just don’t have the guts!’ So bravo!

I also have to do as punishment my nana’s 1 to 5 thing . Which always makes me smile , even when I don’t want too!  So here we go with that.

Bad / crappy thing or thought – My sisters think I’m mad for not wanting to share a nanny with them and cos i would rather uncle fred or the girls watched the babies.

Good things.

  1. I manged to go get my blood work done without freaking out or fainting. I took the babies with me and walk to the hospital (3o min walk) and got the bus home.
  2. I have applied to do start my writing class again in the new year, for 2 hours on a thursday morning. maîtriser can work from home one day a week and has agreed to watch the girls for a morning.
  3. I have finally got my Christmas baking sorted out and have a kitchen full of christmas cakes!
  4. i have scheduled 5 post on this blog for this week. (well i think i have but you never know with me!)
  5. I feel much happier in myself after getting back to doing yoga and meditation every morning. i also cant wait to get back to the gym this week, even if it’s only core work and cardio!

W

#Punishment, bdsm, Diary, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

2 weeks done, 2 to go!

So I made it through 2 weeks of punishment with no fuck ups or extra punishment! YAY PIXIE! It’s been a hard week on a lot of fronts , but not due to punishment. No any hassle I’ve had has been from my sisters and on a professional front , and that is all sorted now. It’s felt strange and odd to have to let others do stuff and not do it myself, but the house is still standing, we are not facing financial ruin, and the world is still turning!

This week Maîtriser wants me to work a little on myself and my self-esteem. I have a lot of issues around how I see myself and how I think people see me. This stems from being bullied pretty badly at school, ill-health and being in an abusive relationship cfor way to long. I guess I got in to the mind set of if people call you fat or ugley or stupid enough times , you start to believe it and I did for a long time. but over the last few years I been working with a therapist to challenge these thoughts and beliefes , but they still flare up at times and sometimes they can start to do harm again. being truthful they have started to be a problem over last few weeks , but I try to keep them hidden and not talk about them.  But i’m not going to any more and i’m actually looking forward to working on them a bit over the next 7 days! So here are this weeks rules / punishments.

  • I am to read 3 blog post of my choice everyday and disscuse them with maîtriser or Babe in the evening. I may also comment on the post online.
  • Weekly Writing prompt to be done by Thursday (800 words)
  • Daily mindfulnesss tasks and brain training (30 mins)
  • English lessons 3 times with John.
  • 2 gym sessions with Steve (cardio and core)
  • 30 mins of yoga plus 10 min meditation.
  • Write a goal list for the next 6 months
  • Write an eating plan for myself for the next 4 weeks.
  • Daily diary to inculed all food , activety and sleep.
  • Christmas party dress pattern and fabric shopping to be done .
  • daily tasks to be given in the morning by maîtriser. ]
  • 1 to 5 to be done every time I have a negative thought about myself.

I have also  got to work on my swearing and loosing my temper with myself. So if anyone catches me swearing or grumping, wag a finger at me!

Well lets see how we go!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

bdsm, family update, From the heart, Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

#SoSS – Spreading the love!(family style)

Right so yeah we thought we would jump on the Share our Shit Saturday band wagon! (the Boss man, the girls and myself . not the Royal we!) to be honest ive had 3 people give me shout outs in the last 3 weeks and really feel the need of d to share the love for some pretty epic bloggy -woggy- do dah peeps that are out there. (I’m going to point out , I’m not drunk or high , but I’m that tired at the moment and had to deal with dog drama today, that it has fried my brain a little bit! ). So having said that I was going to do this to the girls, they wanted to join in and the French man was like, oh well I’ll have some stuff I wont to big up too! So we are doing a  big old family round-up! What we have done is each pick 3 things / blogs / People we are loving and rambled about why we like them, So here goes!

Maîtriser / Boss man

From Daddy’s Desk, with John Brownstone. – A short video from John Brownstone from the Loving BDSM podcast, on why it’s not cool to use silence as away of punishing a submissive. This gent has articulated my thoughts in a much better way than I could have. as I would have said don’t treat you sub as second class citizen, grow up and stop being a dick! Clear , to the point and highlighting that it can do more harm than good.

Wear and Tear, by Molly Moore, for KOTW – Beautiful piece and stunning photo by Molly Moore of Molly’s daily kisses. Good read, but the best part by far is the picture she took of herself. Getting across how arousing knife play and cutting off of clothes can be!

Anxiety and Events, By the princess of kink, for Kinkcraft. – Now I should say that the Kinkcraft Podcast is in my girls top podcast. Bless them , they will all sit at the kitchen table and listen to Andrew and Pixie , then afterwards they will discuss what they had been talking about and each give their take on it. This article really hit a cord with me as mouse suffers so badly with G.A.D. it gave me more ideas of how to help her and also made me look at things from her view point. So Thank you to all involved!

Babe –

Pink hai don’t care!!! Learning to love myself! – A Post from the wonderful Candysnatch, a blogger who has a great outlook on life and is the epitome of body and sex posativatey . I read this article and past it on to are little bear, who has really bad problems with her body image problems. It has given her a real boost and as a knock on effect we have much happier little bear! So Big thank gouges lady!

Drama in the BDSM comunity , Loving BDSM. This one was kind of said what we all want to say about people bringing drama in to a D/s or kink environment. It really was wicked for people to actually say what we thought , but out loud for a change. lol basically the advise is just to deal with it calmly , talk to people, find your on fit , speak up or to someone as needed , and for everyone to just try the hardest to get the fuck a long! Little Pixie loved this on and she giggled the whole way through, so a Big thank you to Kayla and John! x

Hoilday gift guide 2017. By Coffee and Kink. – Really big thanks for this article. I hate Christmas shopping and I never know what to get people , but this is a fucking awesome guided to what is hot for the kinkies in my life!

Kitten –

Bisexuality, episode 48. Proudtobekinky podcast. -so we all love the Proudtobekinky podcast and when we first listen to this one it was kind of light bulb moment for us all! Floss was speaking for not just her but us too! So many myths got busted in this one podcast. Pixie also listen to this with Aunty May , who said ‘That girls got away with words and talks a lot of sense’ . So if she is saying it’s worth a listen it’s worth a listen!

Bitch. – Beatiful picture of an Irish blogger that we are all a little obsessed with! Great use of colour and lighting, positioning and placement. Sends shiver down my spine. Lace – Sinfull Sunday #344, by Little Switch Bitch.

Southern Sir’s Place, By John Brownstone.  – So we are not really allowed to fallow blogs of other dominates unless the boss man knows them in person. But the is a the odd exception , Sir Beasty is one and  rather new one is Mr John Brownstone. His blog is now one of are favourites. The are great post for Sinful Sunday, Kink of the week and about his life! one of the most funny , sweetest and loving Dom that the is around and on the net!

Little Bear

The complete truth about Daddy Doms and little girls , By Kayla Lords , For KinkCraft. – I’m a little and I love being a little , but I some times feel people think I just act like a child and do it for attention. No I do it cos it is part of who I am and allows me to feel happy, safe and loved. This article by Kayla lords sums everything up so well and is right on the money for me. Thank you Mrs Babygirl!

Sinful Sundaysinful Sunday is one of Molly Moore’s memes . Your given a prompt every month and come up with sexy Picture that you feel fits the prompt or any other sexy pic you want to add. I’m not good at taking pics , but I love looking and reading what others come up with!

Submiisve Guidesubmissive guide is a site I love, its full of all things to do with submission and great ideas. with article and ebooks that you can download and keep. We have got the submissive advent Callender and I can’t wait for it to be time to start it!

Mouse –

Torture Garden Special , Floss does life. when I was younger I used to love go to To TG , but after things went pear-shaped for me I stop going and now my anxiety levels are stopping me from going. Read this piece by floss was like being there myself, she made I sound so really. I could almost feel the beat of the music and see all the bright colours. She has really got it spot on and has got me going I have to make it back to TG next year!

How to picth your idea to website, By the smutancer. Great article by Kayla Lords , aka the smutlancer. All about how to pitch ideas to people and companies. Now I have not use this to pitch writing stuff to kinky peeps yet, but I did use the advice and use it in my none kinky life, selling some article and 4 course idea, so it really does work. Pretty much everything on the smutlancer is super helpful and so easy to understand!

Wicked Wednesday, Reblsnotes.com – Wicked Wednesday is one of my fav writing memes on the net! Great prompts weekly and you can write erotica or a little bit about your real life. Love the feedback you get and the support you get!

Podcast we love and thing everyone should give a listen!(even Great Aunty May agrees)

Loving BDSM

Kinkcraft

Proudtobekinky

The Dildorks

Black People Kink

Cousenually Speaking

Off the cuffs

And lastly ….. My great Aunty May wanted this to be included as she thinks it’s the funniest , best written and most relevent Podcast around at the moment, and that all men and women should listen to it! The Guilty Feminist.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Ps this was meant to be posted on Saturday, but I was a bit manic , then on sunday all I did was cry and giggle , then last night but I fell asleep again! So it’s posted on a Tuesday!

bdsm, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized, wicked wednesday

His voice. 

I hate working away from home. The 12-hour days spent setting up the class room, the question that I have had to answer a 1000 time before, then the packing away, only to come back and start all over in the morning. The worst part is the drive to the budget chain hotel, to my bland, generic room and a long evening of tv and myself deal with. But tonight is going a little better than most nights, as I have my darling kitten with me, we have permission to play and we have a call from maîtriser to look forward too!
We are under orders to be fed, bathed and in pj’s by the time he calls at 8 pm. So that’s how we come to be perched on the end of the bed, with Kittens phone between us, counting down the seconds till he rings weirdly it’s his voice I miss the most, after the way he feels when I cuddle him. It has the ability to make my do as I’m told one minute, to make me smile the next and wet and horny the next. It can calm, arouses and command all at the same time. His thick French accent, with a hint of Italian and your occasional slip of the tongue that tells of your time spent living in the west country.
Lost in a slight day dream I nearly jump out of my skin when kittens phone starts to blare out his ring tone of ‘all my friends’ By Dermot Kennedy starts to play. I think kitten must have been thinking the same as me, as her sacking hand reaches for the phone and she slide the lock screen and hits the answer button and then speaker. ‘Hello’ she says in a small voice that is very much her being shy and nervous.
Then comes his voice in a thick droll and steady as always, ‘Hello kitten, hello mouse, how are both my little ones? Have you been behaving? Have you been good girls for me?’ It’s with these word that I’m lost, I breath out a sigh I did not know I had been holding in. My shoulder hunch as I relax, letting all the stress of the day go and let the feeling of being safe and love, wash over me. God how I have missed him.
Kitten and I turn to face each other with the phone between us. sitting crossed legged on the bed, tucking feet underneath. We chatter away about what we have been doing and how are days have been. Having turned to face Kitten I feel a little distracted, but then I always do when it comes to Kitten. She is so damn beautiful it takes my breath away. Shifting a little, my knee bumps hers, I look up at her big brown eyes and blush. ‘So how did your course go little mouse?’ I hear coming from the phone, but It barely registers in my fuddled little brain.
‘hmmmm. Yes, what was that’. which is met with a shocked look on kitten’s face and stony silence from the other end of the line. Then clearing of his throat and ‘Mouse what did I just ask you?’. I panic and try I recall what he said, but I just can’t. I know not to umm or ahhh about thing or try to stall when asked something. So, I chose to fess up.
‘I don’t know, I was too busy looking at Kitten and thinking about doing stuff to her’. Blushing like flip and looking down at my lap. Again, I hear him clearing his throat and then a chuckles ‘what a sort of things mouse? Were they naughty things? Have they made you wet little one? Kitten be a good girl and check for me.’
She is up on her knees and moving towards in an instant. She pushes me back on the bed, her hand pulling my panties to the side, slipping inside, and plunging in to me. slowly running her cold finger up and down, then circling my clit. As quickly as she started her check, she abruptly removes finger, and brings it up to her mouth. ‘she is wet maîtriser, she smells yummy. please can I taste her maîtriser?’
‘As you asked so nicely, yes you may Kitten, but listen to me, I want to hear you make her moan and whipper, and then when I tell you Ruin her for me kitten. Do you understand? ‘ . I move myself up the bed, pulling me t-shirt off and hooking my thumbs in the waist band of my panties, dragging them down over my hips. Kitten is on her knees and curling up the bed towards me, the look in her eyes makes me whipper. I hear maîtriser chuckle and the sound of a zip being pulled down. Oh, dear god now I know what he’s doing at the other end of the line. I have blinding vision of him stroking his cock.
Next thing I know kitten is between my legs, having pulled my panties all the way off and tossing them on the floor. Maîtriser tells her to go slow, teasing, and gentle. His gentle tone is telling me to play with my nipple rings, to lose myself in the feeling and that I can stroke my kitten if I want. My eyes close and I just feel. her fingers, her tongue and the sound of maîtriser voice, its start to become a growl. His close, I can picture his hand moving faster and feel his grip become firmer.
Kitten has reached my clit and is lapping at it like her namesake. then I hear the words ‘Now kitten, make her come now!’ That’s when she sucks my clit between her teeth, biting lightly and pushing her tongue flat against my clit. I can’t keep it in any longer, I come undone, scream out her name and then all feel is bliss. I hear grunts coming and the throaty growl.
When I come down of the celling, when my breathing calms, I looked down and see kitten kneeled between my legs, a happy smile on her lips, then her tongue licks the moisture from her lips. A muffled noise breaks the silence. We sit up looking for kitten’s phone, that has become tangled up in the sheets and pillows.
‘that’s my good kitten, well done little one’ comes the voice on the other end. ‘Good girl mouse, you sound so beautiful when you come’ Smiling from ear to ear I roll on to my tummy and kiss kitten. I can taste myself on her lips. Then I hear ‘now mouse I want you to return the favour to kitten, and then I want you to turn the lights out and go to sleep, do you understand’
‘Yes maîtriser, we do.’ We say in unison. A reply of ‘good girls, Good night my sweet little ones’
‘Good night maîtriser, we love you’ we say. Then we hang up and I turn to kitten and promptly return the favour.

Wicked Wednesday

bdsm, Diary, From the heart, Little, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Saturday night fess-up / punishment.

Well here we again. It’s Saturday night, I’m in bed at 9.30 and I’m being made to write a blog post , fessing up to all the rule breaks I have had this week and telling you what punishment has been handed out too. I have a very cross and grumpy boss man sat behind me to make sure I do it all, just so and don’t skip anything. I should say having to sit and write I did is part of the punishment. Cos I find it so hard to admit and it is one of the quickest ways to change my behaviour.

What I did…..

  • I put myself down 17 in one day.
  • I refused to let little bear help with the cleaning .
  • I did not give the girls chores on 3 days in the last 7.
  • I grumped at Babe, Uncle Fred and Aunty May.
  • I sassed Maîtriser and Sir Beasty on at least 5 occasions.
  • I went over my allowed step count on 3 days out of the last 7.
  • I forgot to eat my snacks on 5 different occasions .
  • I did not check my blood sugar level before bed twice , leading to hypo.
  • I skipped my afternoon nap 5 times in the last 7 days.
  • I did not do my mindfulness at all for the last 7 days.
  • I stayed up past my bed time twice and got up before 6 am 3 times in the last 7 days.
  • I answered emails asking if I was free to take on new clients without showing or asking maîtriser for permission
  • I have started to swear and lose my temper with myself.
  • I have not done any of my self-care task for 7 days.
  • I ate fast food without asking if it was ok.
  • I did not eat enough on 3 days out of 7.

punishments are…..

  • No Free time for 7 days.
  • No answering back, I must do exactly as I’m told, first time. For the next month.
  • all emails must be checked by maîtriser or Babe before the are sent or replied to.
  • No junk food or fast food for the next month.
  • Only one sweet treat a day for the next month.
  • I am to stick to 8000 steps a day and 30 mins of yoga a day for the next 7 days.
  • my bedtime is 10pm and I may not get out of bed before 6am without asking first for the next month..
  • I will take my afternoon nap between 3pm and 4.15pm every day for the next.
  • I will do my self-care and mindfulness with Kitten everyday for the next month.
  • I am to wear my locking collar all the time, except when I have dates with uncle fred or the midwife.
  • I to eat what I am told every meal for the next month.
  • maîtriser will give me a list of chores every evening, I must divide them between myself and the girls for the next month.
  • I am to post on my blog every day ,about  something that maîtriser tells me to.
  • No swearing or sassing , anyone at anytime.
  • I must say ‘Good morning’ and ‘ Good Night’ to Twitter everyday for the next month.
  • I am to email this to everyone in my address book.
  • I will wear what I am told every day for the next month.
  • I will let maîtriser check my Blood sugar levels every day , before bed for the next month.
  • I will promise to take better care of myself and not neglect myself anagin.
  • *should Connie or Evie need me at anytime I may go to them and look after them without having to ask first.

Well that is that then. I know this has to be done and I know it is done out of love. Maîtriser only ever has my best interested at heart. I will Behave and be his good little mouse.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Diary, From the heart, Uncategorized, wicked wednesday

The girl in the mirror, learning to love myself.

The girl in the mirror, learning to love myself.
I have never really had a great love of what I see when I look in the mirror. I never liked how I looked growing up as a kid. I was small and scrawny as little kid. I had thick glasses, red frizzy hair, thick glasses and a tiny up turned pig nose. Then at the age of 9 need to take steroids for health problems and I put on weight. I was bullied badly at school and at home, by my mother and her father. When I turn 13 a grow about 5 inches in a year and I start to train at a boxing club with my dad. I lost weight, gained muscle and attitude. I chose to fight back at the bullies and the world. but this led to me getting kicked out of school for being a ‘troubled ‘kid.
Fast forward a to a few years ago and you see a girl whose self-esteem is rock bottom, who hides herself away. My body was covered in scares from years of self harm and tattoos from my years of angry rebellion against a harsh world. Stretch mark from rapped weight gain and then weight loss. Add more scares from chest drains from ill health and miss shaped bits from bike accidents and broken bits from my beatings from my ex. So, when my darling Maîtriser came in to my life a few years ago, one of the First things he wanted me to work on was my, in his view titled perception of my body. He said he wanted to me to see myself the way he and the rest of the world saw me, and not how my broken brain saw myself.
So, with therapy, gym workouts and time and love, I started to work on my self-esteem and started to challenge how I saw myself. One of the things I did and still do from time to time is put myself down. I will say something like I hate my face or I’m so fat. This upsets maîtriser, he says it’s like me saying that he is not right that I am worth him loving. At first, I was not sure I was worthy, but as the days went on and I feel increasingly in love and I learned to trust again, I saw that he was right. So, I tried to stop, but I still slipped from time to time.
As a sort of punishment and sort of his way of challenging this, he would for ever put down I made about myself I would have to come up with 10 things I liked about the way I looked. Having just had twins, the put downs have come to the surface again. So, when I said, ‘lord my face looks so chubby’ I was made to stand in front of the mirror again and make my list of 10 things I like, here is what I found
1. I love the colour of my eyes and how they seem to change with my mood.
2. I like my small pug nose and how it’s too small to keep my glasses on when I sneeze.
3. I love my high cheek bones and dimples.
4. I love my Hight. Just right that I can rest my head on maîtriser shoulder when we dance.
5. I love my small hands, that are strong and know how to do so many things.
6. I love my boobs and nipples, and the amazing feeling I get when they are played with.
7. I love the stretch marks on my tummy and hips. Reminds me of caring my babies.
8. I like the scares on rib cage. They remind me of the strength it took to fight back from illness
9. I like the scare on my left for arm. It makes me think that, given time scares fade, if not always leave you totally
10. I love the tan line on my ring finger, reminds me of being married to maîtriser and how special are bond is.
I don’t think I’m ever going to the type of person who is going to spend hours looking in the mirror. But I have learned to like what I see and realised that if maîtriser is happy and loves what he sees, then so should I, cos he is a man who is rarely wrong about stuff like that.

I really loved writing this and I feel like it was something I needed to do, without knowing I did. Does that make sense? I wrote today at a coffee shop, while my little ones dozed in their pram and the rest of the world went about their business. For now my life is good, happy and settled.

Pixie x x x x

Wicked Wednesday

WW badge

bdsm, Loving BDSM, Masturbation Monday, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Dance.

I draw the blinds, turn down the lights and pull a chair into the middle of the room. I pour a glass of wine, placing it on the table next to the chair. I find the right track on the Ipod and have it ready to play as soon as I hear your hand on the door knob. I check myself in the mirror one last time, adjusting my bra strap , smoothing my hair down and reapplying my deep red lipstick. Then I knee alt the side of your chair and wait.

After a few short minuets , that seem to go on for hours, I hear your car on the gravel outside. The door slamming , the beep of the central locking and then the crunch of gravel under foot.. Then the key in the front door, you foot steps coming down the hall and then so slowly it’s almost painful the knob of the door turns and the door opens.. I don’t look up, I stare straight ahead with lowered eyes, just the way you trained me, just the way you want me.

you walk over to the chair, looking down at me, you utter ‘whats this then little one? What are you up to mouse? I don’t remember saying I wanted you like this when I got home this morning, did I.’ Poursing for a moment, then you say in a firmer tone ‘ girl , look at me when I ask you something, what is this all about?’

painfully slowly , I raise my eyes to meet yours . Licking my lip and swallowing , my mouth having gone suddenly dry. I manage to get the words out in a husky and a hell of lot stronger than I feel, ‘I wanted to dance for you  ,maîtriser please let me dance for you?’ . I stare up at you with pleading eyes from the hard wood floor , that has started hurt my knees.

the heat of your gaze makes me sweat and my insiders squirm, waiting with hope and a lot more patience that I thought I would ever have. You reach down , you hand going in to my hair and I feel a none to gentle tug that brings me to my feet. You hand fastens round my neck , forcing my chin up and me to look in to your eyes. I shiver as a cold chill travels down my spin and I try to step back. You only pull harder and bring you mouth down on mine in a deep , possessive, hurried kiss. Letting go suddenly , in a near growl , you tell me ‘as you wish little one ‘ . Turning from me to sit in the chair , reach for the glass of wine and taking a deep swallow.

i sorter of to iPod , make sure I add in a little extra sway to my hips as I go. I turn my head and look over my shoulder at , with a coy smile, that I hope has the right amount of sexy in it. I turn to the iPod once again and hit play, no slow ranchy song or pumping, bump and grind for this dance, oh no. It is the heavy guitar and for full grit tones of kings of Leon for this girl.

As I turn to face you , I slowly sway my hips in time with music, reaching round I undo the clip holding my hair. Shaking out my red curls as I move closer to you , the smell of the sweet cinnamon and honey shampoo , closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and run my fingers from the roots to the ends , bundling the length over my shoulder. I trace my fingers down my checks , across lips, down my neck , tracing my collar , to the slopes of my breasts. I then turn my self so my back is to you, slowly undoing the tiny buttons on the front of my dress , I turn back to face , swaying and grinding my body in time to the music. with shaking fingers I push open the front of my dress and roll my shoulders , so the dress slips down to my waist , exposing my small creamy white breast, encased in your favoiut black lace bra.

I run my hand the sides of my breast , down the sides of my body, leave goosebumps in the wake. I reach my hips and my dress, I hook my thumbs in the sides and gentle shimmy out of it. being careful not to get the silk and lace of my dress court up on the heel of red patent leather pumps. I’m left standing in front of you in black lace bra, matching boy shorts and heels. I sway and strut closer to you , I’m so close now you can reach out a touch if you want. ‘ loose the shoes , sweetheart’ I hear you say .

So I turn my back to you, bending at the waist, and sticking my but in your groin. I unsnap the straps on my shoes, removing them and placing to the side of table. Then i feel your hands on my butt, as I Straighten up. Your fingers glide up the side of my body tracing the under side of my breast, your hands travel round to the clasp of my bra , with a well-practiced flick of your finger it undone. You gently turn me round and encourage me to carry on my slow dance, but at the same time you push the straps down my arms and pull the cups away, leaving my aching breasts and rock hard nipples on full display, less than a foot from you mouth.

Seeing the bulge in your trousers , I move nearer to you placing one Of my toned legs , between yours. I unfasten your tie and with shaking fingers I undo the buttons on you shirt , pulling free the hem from you waste band. I place one hand behind your neck and use the other spread your shirt wide open . I rise up and boldly thrust me breast in your face. Your catch a nipple in your mouth, sucking at first , then biting down on the over sensitive tip. Straddle you lap , rocking and grinding hard and slowly, felling you grow harder and more swollen as I go.

You hands are now rubbing against my lips , through the lace of my panties . Suddenly you urge me to stand , and hook you thumbs in the waist band, pulling them in one swift motion over my hips and to the ground . You growl ‘dance girl, my little cock tease a’ as you stand kicking your shoes of  , along with you socks.

Turn round I hear you moan, as I do so I hear the fly of you trousers being pulled down followed by the soft Humph of them being tossed to the side. I hear you pick up you wine, gulping it down in one and placing the glass back. All the time I keep up my slow, swaying dance then I feel you behind me , pulling me close , you cock nestling between the checks of my bum. I feel you loop you tie round my wrist, pulling my arms up and around your neck. I fell you roughly kissing my neck , your hands making a beeline for my pussy. Your fingers plunge in to my already wet cunt, you plunge them in side my hitting my g-spot , tofu thumb is on my clit , pushing hard in  firm circles .

Gasping and moaning , I beg to be load to come, your growl in my ear ‘ now girl, come now’ as you use a come hither motion on my g-spot. My knees buckle , as juices gush out of me , covering you hand, my thighs and hitting the floor. But you’re not going to let me rest are you, oh no. Your pushing me to my knees, forcing my head down in to the hard floor, your hand firmly on my neck. Next I feel you falling to knees behind pushing my legs wide apart. You use you hands to Guide you ramrod hard cock in to my tight whole. A feeling that always feels like your going to spilt me in two. Next you grab my tie bound hands and using them to pull me in to wide legged kneeling position. One hand pulls my waist and hips tight to your groan . The other pushes the hair away from my neck , so you can lick, suck and bite my neck and shoulders.

Now you push me forward again , face firmly planted on the ground, oh and your really fucking me. All the frustration of you hard-working week, the traffic jams and every ting thing that has been poured in to this. I begged to come and you give me permission to come all I want, but you don’t give in to your relieve yourself. I most of come 6 time before I feel your breathing and stroke changed. You push me down harder by my neck , and roar as you empty yourself into me, over and over.

You slum over my used little body and catch your breath. I whisper in a small voice ,’did you like your Dance maîtriser? Did I do a good job ? ‘

Gathering me in to you sweaty embrace  and whispering in my ear ‘ yes little mouse you danced beautifully for me, as you always do., I’m very proud of you,’ pulling tight to you chess’s , you clam my mouth with yours in a loving kiss and I feel you cock springing to life again. Something tells me it’s time for the next dance!

Masturbation Monday.

 

Masturbation-Monday-badge-1