From the heart, musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

Pixie's Prompt – my love language .

Take the love language test , write done you result, is it true? Explain. max 300 words.

My results are:

10 Words of Affirmation
7 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch
6 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts

So this was actually not that surprising . I’m not big on receiving gift , although I do get given lots as rewards for being a good girl. I love my cuddlies and spending time with my partners. The acts of service part well I don’t agree with that as I would much prefer to be the one doing the act of service, I think I’m just hard weird that way. The words of affirmation well yeah! no shocker there. I / We have none for ages that I turn to goo after a partner tells me they are proud of me , or stop and listen to me or tell me I’m doing a good job. But it is also that being told I’m loved and that I’m wanted is a sure-fire way to make me feel calmer and smiley. So on the whole I think it’s true except the act of service part, as I really don’t like it when people have to feel they need to do stuff for me. but the rest is pretty on point. quite funnily Kitten got nearly the same as me , Babe got a really high score in quality time and Little bears highest for physical touch. The Boss Man got 11 for acts of service and 1 for receiving gift, so I think it shows that we really are well suited!

See you tomorrow kinkies!

Hugs,

Pixie x

 

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Pixie’s Prompt – three questions, 300 words.

Pixie’s Prompt – three questions, 300 words.
Answer the 3 questions in 300 words or less, but giving reasoned answer.

1) An important person in your life: My Great Aunty May. Simply because she is an amazing woman. Strong minded, open, and clever. She has taught me some many things about being who I am. She is a feisty lady, who is farce and brave, even when she’s not. But the thing I love about her the most is the fact she has been there every step of the way of my recovery. From hospital, to coming home, to remarrying and becoming a mum, she ha been there. Oh, and she can tell the boss man what to do!

2) A thing your life has in excess: Love, my life is full of love. Whether that is giving love, being loved, or feeling love. Some many different types of love. For friends, lovers, family, or my babies. I never thought it was possible to feel this much love and I’m a very blessed lady to have this amount of love in my life.

 

3) How you procrastinate: Well I don’t really! No, I do, but I also must have a lot of structure in my days, or I feel very stressed and like I’m just waiting time. That would then make me panicky and anxious and no one wants that. I guess I do like Pinterest and twitter quite a lot. I also enjoy stripping down to my panties and a t-shirt, turning up the music and dancing round the kitchen. Also, a big fan of taking long baths and naps. But then I am also happy to spend the day writing or to clean for a few hours. For me life is about balance and priorities.

See i can write something in under 300 words!

Hugs,

Pixie

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Pixie's Prompt – Blind Date…

Pixie’s prompt – blind date.
Write a scene about a blind date, gone wrong, that is between 300 and 600 words long.
I check my watch for the 10th time in the last 15 minutes, letting out a deep sigh. Well it’s pretty clear isn’t it, this Si guy isn’t coming, and I’ve been stood up! I got here 20 minutes early, sat on the steps hold a single red rose, waiting for 7pm to get here. I stayed till it got 7.30 and then panicking that I got the time wrong I stayed till 8, just in case. But now at 8.15, I’m giving up. I let the rose drop from my hand and my head and shoulders sag.
I don’t know why I let debs talk me in to coming or why I thought this would be any different to the other disasters that had come before it. She had been telling me that I needed to ‘get out there’ and start dating again, that 3 years of being single is too long, and after weeks she wore me down. I finally agreed to go on a blind date, just to shut her up.
First up first was Dave from the accounts department of the law firm she works at. He had spent the whole date explaining the off-side rule and bragging about his proses in the bedroom. Then the was her Boyfriends friends brother. I thought he was ok, till he turned out to be a trump supporter. oh, and then the was her hairdresser Rik. He turned up to meet Sid, thinking Sid was a man. Not Syd, the girl. The worst was the last, some geeky IT guy who had the worst Bo ever and who spent the whole date starring at my boobs and actually pulled a calculator out at the end of the meal to divide the bill.
No, that’s it, no more blind dates. I would rather be single than go through this again. I sigh again, running my fingers through my strawberry blond curls, closing my eyes sighing again. I start to stand up, opening my eyes, sighing again as I go. Only then seeing the man stand looking at his watch and looking round.
Just as I finally stand up straight he looks over at me and flashes me a shy smile and say’s “been stood up too ah?” I nod my head and that is met with a chuckle and a flash of humour in his blue eye.
My heart is hammering, and my tummy tightens as he crosses the road to where I’m stood. With a shy smile on his lips. “so, this is crazy, but I don’t suppose you fancy joining me for a drink?”.
For some reason I nod my head, suddenly wanting to get to know the handsome guy stood in front of me. the smile is back as he extends his hand for me to shake. “I’m Tom by the way”
“oh yes, umms hi Tom, I’m Syd.” I stammer out, shaking his hand. Wow he has firm hand shake runs through my head for some reason, oh and dear god he has sexy hands.
“is that Syd with a Y or and I? either way lovely to meet you, shall we?” as I let him usher me to the bar at the end of street. Well maybe tonight is not a total disaster after all.

Well that was fun!

Hugs,

Pixie X

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Pixie’s prompt – Music be the food of love….

Pic 3 pieces of music that mean different things to you. Explain what they mean to you and why? How do you feel when you hear them? What do you think of when your hear them?

The town I loved so welll , by Phil Coulte. (the High Kings version).

This is a song that was written by Phil Coulte of the Dubliners and it’s about his childhood growing up in a town called Derry in Northern Ireland. For me it takes me back to my childhood in Belfast and Armagh. I have some very happy memories of my childhood, which this song reminds me of. But on the flip side it reminds me of the troubles in Ireland. It also for me sums up the people of the towns I grow up in. Fiercely proud of are roots, Loving, caring and are refusal to let the troubles impact on are lives. It makes me happy and sad at the say time, with a little bit of home sickness thrown in for good measure.

One more light, by Linkin Park.
So this song is not the happiest of songs, and a few weeks after this song came out the leader sing of the band took his life. But I can really relate to it on a lot of leaves. When I’m really depressed I feel like my light goes out and that people cant see me. I love how this song sort of tells you that if your light really were to go out that it really would mater to people. That your not just one more light to go out and that we all mater. But I can also feel the pain of the person say that it would mater to them, reminding me of the pain I have felt when my friends have past away or try to hurt themselves . it a beautiful song that reminds me that no matter how bad I feel someone would miss you.

I’m Yours, by Ron Pope.

This was the song that maîtriser and I had been first dance at are wedding to, so it brings back memories of that. But it was also a song that he would sing to me as I was recovering from trying to end my life. Thinking about it I guess maybe it was his way of saying “oi, your daft cow I love you” But I was so poorly, both mentally and physically at the time, just nothing sunk in. But know when I hear it I just feel a rush of love and want to hug maîtriser. IT also reminds me that his mine and I’m his, for the rest of are lives!

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

New year, Better me!

New year, Better me!
Well 2017 is gone and I find myself in a reflective mood. For a lot of people, I know 2017 was not the best of year. With loss, illness, big ass storms and Donny-j. For me it was full of lows and highs. It was the year my daddy got sicker, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I lost friends and family and my depression and anxiety decided to kick me in the butt. But it was also a year of great personal growth for me. I found my fit as a wife, blogger, and feminist. But by fair the best thing of 2017 was becoming a mother to my beautiful twin girls. I know a lot more to life that being a mum, but when you have thought for many years that it is something you’re not going to get to do. Well when you do, it blows your mind. I never knew I could love something so deeply and fiercely as I do them.
I have seen loads of people posting their new year resolutions, but you won’t be seeing any from me. We don’t make them, as maîtriser thinks it away of setting yourself for an unnecessary fail. What we do is sit down and make a list of targets and goals we want to work towards and plan how we can achieve them. it’s something we do every 3 months and we cover pretty much every aspect of are lives. Even maîtriser does it and will let us set goals for him! We sat down on Friday last week and did are lists. This is where I admit that I love the whole planning side of this. I get to get all my gel pens and stickers out. It’s really good fun!
Some of my goal for the next 3 months are: Loose the last of the baby weight and 15lbs extra, run my dogs at crufts, attend eroticon, pitch some ideas at other blogs, do my muck run training, more swimming lessons and get my new and improved blog up and running!
Maîtriser has also sat down with my and we have set some goals for my blog. Such as post a min of 3 times a week, keeping up to date with emails and upping the number of followers to my blog. Lol one of my friends got me a bloggers journal and a diary that is designed for people who have autism, that have been amazing. They are fun, clear, easy to use and don’t feel like they are shouting at me. So, yay!

I have also decided that I want really work on my English. Not just writing, but spelling, grammar, punctuation and understanding. This came about after several nasty comments about my spelling and grammar. I’m dyslexic and have Anxious ADD, so that makes learning and understanding really flipping tough at times. adding to this I grow up speaking a mix of Irish Gaelic and Russian you can see why English is something I have ongoing struggles with it! But I have Bob my English tutor tailoring lessons for help with this. Also, Sir Beasty is stepping in to help with editing my work, so it’s a case of bring it on!

So, as I wave good bye to 2017, I’m hitting the ground running in 2018, so bring it 2018!

Hugs,

Pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

Pixie's #SoSS , spreading some love.

So this week has been really hard for me on a lot of levels. I landed myself in hot water with the boss man. (Oppss i did it again, well sort of! ) . Then on the morning of New years eve morning I had a slightly break down, resulting in in a lot of tears, ranting and admitting that I am depressed and struggling, again ( And all at once im sad again ). this lead to the boss man stepping in and insisting I went and saw my CPN, he even took time off work and came with me. We talked it all through and I now have a plan of action to get me back on track! ( Me and my broken brain – fighting on ) But on the flip side to all that , I have sat down with the Boss man and set some goals and targets for the next 3 months, and planning how to achive them. I was even allowed to get the sticker and gell pens out!!!

This brings us on to this weeks #SoSS post. The boss man has set me a goal of writing a #SoSS post each and to 5 new blog post a day. The blog posts can be anything I want and I can do my #SoSS can be any style I want. So this week I thought I would conpine both. what I have done is taken my favoirte blog post from each day and saved it as a link , then by the end of the week my #SoSS post pretty much wrote it’s self! so here we go….

Baby, baby , by the other Livvy.

So I read this on sunday, after spending 3 hours crying and I clicked on it as I had a picture from one of my favorite Podcast , The Guilty Feminist. After 1 paragraph I was nodding along as I read. it’s about not being sure about having babies or not wanting a ‘baby’ , but a child when you get to do nice parts of being a mother. I so understand that, babies can be and are hard work. they spend most of their time sleeping, eating , pooping , peeing and puking. it then goes on to talk about the worries about being pregnant and how much stress it puts on the mother’s body. Again I so understand this to. Having just had twins , I know just how hard being pregnant is. Yup, it has fun parts and yup you get a baby at the end of it . But the swollen ankle, back ache, breathlessness and just the sheer anomaly of it is , well it can be hell. So I loved this post for being so open and honest about the feeling and emotions that go through so many womans heads when it comes to having babies, but normally are too scaired to say. So thank you for saying everything I felt!

twisted fairy tale no2, by Posy Churchgate

So this is a fab erotic fairy tale romp , by the awesome Posy churchgate. I read this n the car coming back from the seaside on Monday, after asking if anyone had a fun and sexy story on twitter . Posy , point me to this, and I got blown away. Smart, sexy, funny and with a great feel and uses of word I loved it! it has even made me think of writing or trying to write a sexy fairy tale myself!

The other socail network, by Molly Moore, Molly’s daily kisses

So this is a pic of the lovely Molly Moore. it is her most liked picture on Instagram for 2017. she went on to discus how weird Instagram is , how fiscal it can be, and how bonkers the censoring is. Well written a nd makes you think, but also shows how stunning miss more is. Great role model for the body positive and sex positive fight! Thank you for sharing.

He was vast, by the Bar fly poet, Joseph A. Pinto. 

Ok so yeah not kink, but…. I just loved this poem so much. Written by Joseph Pinto, the cofounder of the Pen of the Damned , I have been a fan of his work for some time now. He started a new project , the bar fly poet , with verse inspired by his time sitting in bars and people watching. the poem come from a collection of work that is based on people DM something that has pained them, he then takes that and write fabulous poems , turn their pain in to beautiful word. So I had to include this one, it could not be helped!

Untrustworthy Heart, By Scandarella

Ok this got picked not for it being sexy kink, but because it is a stunning piece of writing and it moved me to tears. It just so pure and straight forward, Thank you so much for sharing!

FemDom Friday: Don’t Be Swayed By The Stereotypes, Floss Does Life.

So I love floss’ writing and this piece is awesome. It’s all about stereotypes of FemDoms, and she has got it spot on, Again! she makes a point that you can be any sort of female do you want, not just the hard . latex clad bitch type. oh and at the end you find out that this is actually part of a 12 part series she is writing and the next part come out on the 2nd of feb, So YAY!

How to be a good couple to a threesome with Coffee and kinky.

Great on post on how to be a good couple to a threesome. It basically says talk about it first, in depth, be prepared , and don’t be a dick! well written with humor . I was nodding and smiling the whole way through reading it .oh and its great advice to boot!

So that is my first #SoSS post of 2018!

Pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized, wicked wednesday

The search for bedtime stories, Mood boosting and Smiles!

When I saw this weeks wicked Wednesday prompt was all about spreading the love for other blogs and bloggers, well I got rather excited. I love spreading the love of things that make me happy. Maîtriser says, when I love something or someone, I turn in to a little cheerleader. Lol that must be why I always cheer about him and the girls quite so loudly! (well they are awesome!). So, I decided that I would spread the love for my favourite blogs, cos they are also awesome and so worthy of a pixie cheer!

So, the first blog that I want to shout and cheer about is the epic CandySnatchReviews. This lady is funny, smart and I love the way she writes. Her product reviews are detailed, thought out and you know she really tested them out. Her sinful Sunday pictures, are nothing short of breath-taking and her candysnatch chats are not only informative, but funny at the same time. Her post about taking a sexy selfie, has led to me taking selfies and texting them to the boss man at work! but the biggest reason I love her blog is that she is full of body positivity and conference, that is contagious. Being a girl with body image issues and living with two other girls who struggle with self-esteem, reading her post has started to undo some of the damage that has been done over the years.

Next up is the wonderful blog of Cara Thereon. Now this lady is funny, witty, clever and has a very positive out look on life. She is submissive, is in a ldr with her daddy, and it is a poly, open relationship, so she is kind of on my level. She writes some very sexy things, that have led to some lovely times with my head between kitten’s legs! Her stories have now become a favourite of ours as are bedtime story. Again, the boss man is happy for us to read her blog, as she I polite and respectful of others and loves how her and her Dom are together.
Next is the blog of the very funny and charming John Brownstone Now I’m going state at the start, the are two blogs of male dominates that I can follow and read. One is Sir beasty’s and the other is John Brownstone’s blog. His blog is full of musing of a dom, on his life with his baby girl, kalya Lords and on life in general. He seems to have a very refreshing take on things and everything seems to be met with humour and thoughtfulness. I mean he even says when he gets things wrong. the boss man lets as read and comment, cos he likes the banter and he’s style of treating other people’s submissive. (with respect and humour)

The next blog I want to shout about is one of my favours to sit and read when I need cheering up or my mood boosting, and that blog is the wonder of Floss does life. Or as my aunty may calls her, that jolly nice lass off the ProudToBeKinky Podcast. Floss writes some very hot erotic fiction, that again has become some of are best loved bedtime stories. But the thing I Adour is her musings on life. She can put in to words, things that I think and can’t put in to words. the boss man lets me read and follow this blog, as he thinks she is a very good kink portative role model and act in a ladylike manner.

Lastly, but not least Has to be Girl on the net.. Just a great blog, full of giggle, things to make you think and ponder. The writing found in this blog is nothing short of perfection and was one of the blogs that inspired me to start blogging. The boss man lets me follow her blog, as he likes her writing and her outlook on life.

I could go on, and on about some other blogs till the cows come home, but I would be here forever. The are some many amazing blogs out there, that teach, support, and inspire me. Since I start this blog a little under a year ago, I have learnt some much about blogging, from other bloggers and can’t wait to see what the coming year will be bring.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Wicked Wednesday!

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From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 23 & 24 of the Submissivs Advent calendar, by Submissive Guide – Twinkling stars and lights & Spirt of submission.

So you may have noticed that this my last post and this one are going out on Christmas day. Things have been a little made round here for the last few day, and that is saying something! All the girls are done with work till the new year, we have Emit and Steve staying, my mother-in-law arrived yesterday to stay as well. I spent 7 hours in A & E with Steve , after he split his head open after fainting. Added to this that I forgot to get half the food shopping we needed and still forgot the carrots , so I had to do a emergency shop at 7.45 last night. Well yeah, it’s been mental. Then this morning Little Bear got the whole house up at 5.15 am to do stockings, I may be found in a corner asleep at this rate!

So on to Saturday’s activates, the focus of which was lights and stars , and how they can leave you in awe of their beauty and light. The first activate was called look at all the lights. The idea was for you to wrap up warm and take a walk around the area you live in and look at all the Christmas lights. The second was call , What awes you? . It was a reflection on what leaves you in awe around the winter session. Well I did both!

What I did was wrap myself, the babies and two of the dogs up , and went for a nice long walk round the local area to look at the lights. I used my alone time to do this, I get an hour a day that I can do what ever I want. it was amazing and really beautiful , if not a little cold. the most breath –  taking site had to be the light that come form the cathedral. Sat right in the middle of the town, on a hill and flood light. it is just stunning and always makes me feel like I’m home. As for what I’m in Awe of? well So many things. How loving and giving people are, my little poly family and what the boss man does for us all. Then is my great aunty may , at 82 she is still as feisty as ever and still kick butt when she needs too!

So on to Sunday’s activity and their focus, which was the spirit of Submission. It gave a famous quote , by Rumi ‘ There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground’ . This point of the quote for submissive is that the are so many different ways to submit. The first activity was to think about the quote and how you have shown as a submissive this year. the second was to think about the holidays and how it relates to your submission. I chose to do the first.

The were some hand little points to think about, so I have used them , here is what I came up with.

  • How has your submission shone this year? Well I have had a massively busy year, but I have now got to the point that I know what I am expected to do, without be asked to do it. I have also done nearly everything I have been asked to do with grace and a smile. I’m not going to say its all been easy, some of the things I have been asked to do have really push me out of my comfort zone, but I have done them. Properly the biggest thing for me is that I have actually spoken up for myself and also asked for help when I need it, which is something I have really had to try hard with. Are roles have also changed a lot this year. With the growth of the CG/l and the CNC parts becoming a very big part of life. I have also become a lot softer and more relaxed with myself, that has led to me being happier and more settled .
  • What can you d to enhance your feeling of submission in the coming year? Oh well that is a tough question! Well I have asked that I am allowed to wear my proper leather collar more, so I will know be wearing that at home in the day time if I’m on my own. I have also hand over a lot more to maîtriser over the last few months, and I would like for us to step things up a little more , I’m just not sure how or in what way. a few people have suggested TPE or Master / slave dynamic , but that would not work for me, as I can’t ring and ask to be allowed to go to the loo , I need to be able to think on my feet. I mean I run a business, have 7 dogs and 2 small babies!
  • Where are you in your Journey? Are you stuck at a fork in the road or are you traveling on easy street? How would you describe your current situation? Well I would say I’m happy, settled , in love and proud. I think maîtriser has got me to a point that I am kept guessing what is to come, but it does not make me anxious or to off kilter. I hope and pray that things remain this way for a long time to come , but I am sure that , we as a family can deal with anything that comes up!

Well sadly that is the end of my Advent Calendar! but maîtriser has decided that his going to be giving more bloggy-woggie-do-dah challenges in 2018, So YAY!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Diary, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Day 22 of the Submissive Advent Calendar, by Submissive guide – Here we come – A – Caroling.

Evening all! How are we all doing this wonderful day ? what have you all been up to? Today has been another fab day in the weird world Pixie! The boss man worked really late and then work up saying he was going to work, even though he did actually need to. He would not listen to me so i brought out the big guns, in the shape of his Mother and my Great Aunty May , and after phone calls and being told off , and he stayed home with us! I got to make him breakfast in bed, then had cuddles and nookie! Then Big Steve turned up 2 hours early for his Christmas visit!

So anyway on to todays activities! They are all based on obscure Christmas traditions. the First activity was called Apples. Oranges and Carols. it is based on the tradition of making a Christmas basket of apples and oranges and going round the village, sings carols and giving out the fruit to their boughs . the task was to make your own basket and take it to a nabourgh, that you have never spoken to , so you can spread some Christmas cheer! The second was to crack open out the Christmas music , sit back and enjoy! being a bit anxious today , I chose to do the second!

So what we decided to dig out the Christmas play list of Spotify. We made it the first Christmas we were together as a little poly family! We popped it on after lunch while we all did craft this afternoon, with tea and cakes. The play list seems to be in two halves first one was full of really upbeat music, stuff you could dance round the kitchen too! the second half is slower and full of carols, that I always end up singing along too, really badly. but the are three songs on the playlist that send shivers down my spin and bring tears to my eyes. Silent night, sung by the High Kings, an Irish family group. it just takes me back to Christmas eves as a little girl and my granddad sing it in his arm-chair by the fire. Then the is away in a manger , this was my nana’s favorite Christmas carol. It makes me really miss her, but remember part of her will always be with me. Then the is How great thou art. This was the song that was being sung the first time I went to Mass after I tried to take my life. It was a really hard thing to do, to walk in to a church paked of people, who I thought would judge me for ‘Sinning’. But instead I was met , for the most part, with love and respect. This song just takes me back to that time, and I feel humbled that people are so forgiving and It has made me a lot more forgiving as well. If people could forgive my lies and what I did to myself , then I can and will be the better person and forgive others. I have even started , with the help of my therapist to try to forgive my ex for what he did to me, but that will take a lot of work and time.

So that is today, see you all tomorrow!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Day 21 of the submissive's Advent Calendar, by submissive guide – Volnteerism is next to submission.

Well good evening my pretty little things, how are you all today? I’m a happy but tired little pixie, with a nagging feeling that something is about to go wrong. Babe is home, so the house is settled and functioning better. Emit being here is amazing, I’ve missed him the last few months. Very sweetly , babe did chore list for today last night. Emit being signal , submissive and with no Dom in his life, babe asked if he wanted a chore list as well. He jokingly said yes, only to be handed one this morning! its nothing major on it , mostly helping me with cleaning stuff and moving the big things . but its made him and us happy so it’s all good!

So today’s focus was volunteering, and how it helps you connect to your submission. The first activity was to volunteer at a local homeless shelter or a nursing home. The second activity was to donate , if you did not have time or could not get to a place to volunteer . I needed to be at home for a large part of today, waiting for some things to be delivered so I went for the later idea.

I started of this morning by going through my airing cupboard and seeing what towels and sheets that I could get rid of to a local Greyhound rescue. (it also means I’m allowed to get new towels in ikea in the new year!) We all decided to donate some clothes to the salvation army, so we have had a good old tidy and sort through cupboards. Even the boss man did this, or I did for him (I asked first and know what could go) . Then I had a brain wave, I have a lot of books that I have read and are gathering dust. maîtriser buys me books as rewards for getting good marks, or doing well at work or for trying extra hard. I find English really hard , but love reading , so maîtriser say’s books in English are a reward and a little challenge all in one! So I asked if I could donate 20 books that I have read to our local cancer treatment center, and it got the thumbs up. We even donated some jigsaw puzzles and board games as well!

So what have we gained from today? Well apart from the warm fuzzy feeling of doing something nice and helping other people. I got to feel good about myself and made maîtriser proud of me. It has kind of inspired me to want to volunteer to do stuff in the in the new year. I think I might offer to do some training at the local greyhound rescue . I have also looked up to see if I could knit stuff for the local NICU that the girls were in when they were born. We have also decided as a family are going to do some found raising for something, just not sure what yet! So watch this space people!!!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x