musings of pixie heart.

Oh babt, what have you done to me!

Do you ever get nights that you can’t sleep, no mater what you try? The is seemingly no reason for your sleepless night. Laying in bed, you toss and turn, sighing and groaning, and Haiphong and puffing. You get yourself tangled up in the blankets, your pillows are full, of rocks and it infernally hot. You can’t decide whether to stay in bed, get up or to go for a walk.

I seem to have a lot of nights like that now. I don’t know why, but this pregnancy seems to of turned me in to a bundle of sleepless, nerves energy and it’s also making extremely horny. I was with the twins, but this time I just have hear maîtres voice and I am begging to be used, and I mean used. Not made love to or fucked. No, I mean thrown on the bed, clothes ripped off and just taken. Not just once, but over and over again. I have even managed to wear maîtres and Steve out.

With the twins if I sneezed I could cum, but not this time. I’m putting it down to maîtres adding edging at least 3 times a day and the fact that when we fuck, well his deliberately backing off when he feels I’m close. Last night he managed to do that 4 times, and when he said on the 5th time “cum for me now, my good girl “. I came for a full 5 minutes, squirting so much the sheets got soaked and I had a blood sugar of 3.2 after. Squirting is something that I don’t do from just penetrate sex, so yes it was a really epic fuck.

For some reason as well, I seem to have gone more submissive than I thought possible. I am pretty much a total service girl and little in daily life. But I have been even more so, and all I want is to make maîtres, more than ever. I have stop swear, I’m not sassing and have stoped putting myself down. But I have also started asking for what I need, from maîtres, babe, Steve, and other people. I mean I even managed to ask to for my popper collar to be but on today, as I was panicking a lot and it is very calming, but it’s not something I would normally do.

My masochist side seems to be coming out to play a lot more as well. I seem to go out of my way to get punishments, I want things like wax play more and I start dripping at the thought of being tied up. This has on the other side, bought out a side of Kitten I love, she has a very well-hidden sadist side, that she seems to leave ear marked just for me.

It has also made maîtres seem to want me more than ever. It’s like he wants people to know I’m pregnant and his. The other day he pretty much tore my panties off to play with me under the table at the pub, and I know damn well people saw what he was doing. But that just made it even more fun!

Well that is to days pixie ramble,

Hugs,

Pixie x

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart.

Sunday morning.

I never thought motherhood was going to be easy or a free ride, no I knew it would be hard as hell at times. But for me it’s been great, for the most part. I love my little girls, they are one of the best things I’ve done with my life. But what nobody warned me about is just how exhausting they can be. It feels like I have been running on empty for years not days. It would seem they are both teething, so are grumpy and snarky in the day time. But at night , or should I say the early am they turn into insomniacs , who seem to think their feet are really funny and need to chat to mummy about it, and when they have told my about their toes, tiny, chubby ankles and how they can fit their sisters toes in their mouths, they doze off , with soft snores. But when I lay them in their cots to sleep and turn to leave them, one farts, waking themselves up, shrieking with fright, and waking their sister up. So it’s back to cuddles, chats and calming them down. Not the sort of all nighter I had in mind.

It’s after one of our early am chats that maîtser found me asleep on a bean bag this morning. I love the fact that I have rules to follow about everything, but if my daughters need me they can be over looked. But as well as that I love that maîtser and I have CNC in place, and not just the sexy kind. No I mean the loving kind. The kind that means I get woken up with a kiss, taken down stairs and made to eat what ever is but in front of me. Then hustled in to a hot shower, then a warm fluffy towel, then clean clothes and then tucked in to bed , with a stuffie and orders to sleep. And because I’m his good girl, and mildly exhausted , I have no problem with that at all.

But when the sexy side of our CNC decides I have slept and rested for long enough, and he gathers me up in to his arms, roughly foundling my breast, and biting down hard on my neck. Well not only do I know it’s time to wake up, but I’m going to get used in the most delightful way. When his hand travel down over my rib cage, the curve of my hip, dipping under the waist band of my yoga pants and roughly caressing them down my legs, with my panties, bunching at my knees. I tense and pretend to struggle a little , so his hand will go round my throat and he growls in my ear to behave, to hold still, that I’m his and he will do as he wants with me, it leaves my with no doubt he loves me.

When his other hand plunges in to My folds, and pulls my leg up and back over his, I know what’s coming, his marking me as his, making sure I know damned well that I’m his. Biting my neck, he pulls his hand from me, and I feel him unbuckle his belt and push open the fly. Then his hand is guiding his cock inside me, and he starts fucking me . It’s deliciously harsh, fast and hard. It’s not the beautiful love making, but it’s what I need. It is pure feeling, want and need.

Gently he flips me on to my tummy, pulling my bum and hips up, still fucking me. His hands move to the small of back and my neck, pushing it firmly in to pillow. He fucks me so fiercely , that it is nearly painful. Then his hand come round and under me, find my clit with his thumb , circling it with a determined ferocity that is startling. His close I can feel, and I know that if I struggle and whimper a little , he will love what he is doing to me even more, so I do. That is all it takes , and he looses his control , and so do I. Cumming so hard I think I must of blacked out a little.

Collapsing on top of me , he pulls himself from me , flopping on to his side, panting . Leaving me laying there , stunned and used. I get a hard swat to my arse and in commanding tone he says ‘up , I want feeding’ and with that he is up and off downstairs . I hurriedly collect myself , pulling my clothes back on and smoothing down my hair. Not bothering to clean myself up, loving the feeling of how utterly used and marked his made me feel. I run down stair to carry on taking care of his needs , the way he has done for me.

And why do I do this, cos I love, trust and adore him , as he does me.

Pixie x

musings of pixie heart.

boobs behaving badly ….. for Ben and floss

Boobs behaving badly… for Ben and floss Ok I / we are a family who love boobies! We quit often have little arguments over who has the best boobies. (Does not every family) but sometimes boobs misbehave, with hysterical results. A lot of times things happen on are girl dates. Like the time Kitten and I went to a-trampoline park . I got carried away , was wearing the wrong bra, bounced to hard and my boob flopped out in front of a group of teenage boys. Or the time (when drunk) little bear and babe went to the loo ,but the was a massive cue , so they shared a cubical . Turning backs while the other peed. Little bear then decided to try and open the door with very little room to wiggle . Well she had at the time very big boobs (she had a breast reduction) and the door got wedge between them and her and babe got sort of trapped . After 15 minutes of trying to get free, a lot of giggles and help from some lovely ladies, some one went and got the pub manger and 2 doorman , to help take the door off , so they could get out. Needless to say we never went back to that pub. It’s not just when out boobies behave badly either , no happens at home too! I have always loved wearing skimpy slip style nighties, that make my small boobs look nice in (big head). I have before now woken up to the ups driver banging my front door, run down the 2flights of stairs, open the door , to find said drive turning bright red and avoiding eye contact . After signing for my parcel and saying thank you, I have come inside , looked In a mirror only to find my right boob had popped out. I should add that I have also answered door to the same ups driver in a shirt and panties, holding a very big kitchen knife In one hand and terrible scowl. Being poly and open , we play a lot at home. Cos well we like kinky fun and screwing , a lot . We’ ve had countless times that people have court an eyeful . The worst has to be when babe had kitten tied to a chair and was pouring wax on her tits, and the post man came through the garden gate, seeing what was going on , and tripped over. We now have a sign to remind us to pull the blinds! Naughty boobs or their owners run in my family. My sisters boob nearly came out her dress at her wedding. We have countless pics of family event with nipple showing through dresses. I have a very vivid memory of my nana trying bras on In M&S , and forgetting to pop her bra back on , leaving it hanging in the dressing room. In her defence she had dementia at the time and she was in M&S . But by far the most embarrassing boob gaff goes to aunty May. After mass one Christmas and a lot of sherry , she invited are priest and the younger priest back to dinner . After dinner and more sherry, she decided she needed a little lay down. We heard a lot of grumbling and moans coming from the guest room , followed a ‘sweet baby Jesus , merry, Joseph and all the saints in heaven” and a load thud. We all ran to the guest room , but the young priest made It there first. Opening the door , thinking aunty May had fallen over . Only to find aunty May tangled up in her blouse and bra , boobs out and stuck. She had tried to get her bra off with pout undoing it or taking her blouse of first! The shame off it! I would like to add this is why I don’t drink sherry, it makes even the mildest people into totally idiots. Well that’s us and are boobie tales shame!

family update, From the heart, Poly life, Question time., socail

Lean on me.

Lean on me.

This is a little bit of a gushy post, I’m just warning you. For anyone who follows my blog or me on twitter, you will know that I’m not well. My depression and anxiety have got really bad, and I have had to ask to go get more strutched help. I’m going to do day treatment for a few weeks. 3 days a week, 5 hours a day, cos I can’t go on feeling like this. I need help, big time. Yes I am strong and I will get through this , but I need help. Lucky I have a wonderful family and amazing friend on twitter who have been a godsend.

But I have been thinking a lot of late about who are real friends and who I trust . Sure I have friends enough, but I sometimes they are not always able to cope when my health, whether physical or mental is bad. I mean, like now, when having a mental health crisis, I would not want to be round me at times, so I don’t see why others should suffer the shit I put them through. I mean it has take everything for me to learn to trust maîtser and the girls fully. I feel so unworthy of their love and care at times. But they let me love them and care for them, so I let them do the same for me.

I then got to thinking about a really special friend that I have. Who, unlike most of my friends, started out as my friend, away from my family, who knew me when I was my ex. Who stood by me with through the shit I went through and did not flench when he found out I had told him lies, when I was sick and tried to end my life. Well ok he got really pissed off at me and nearly walked away, but he , unlike a lot of ‘friends’ took the time to find out what happened, to actually talk to me. He is my Sir Beasty, my darling man , Aedan O’Healy .

He from are first meeting was someone I just clicked with. Both with Irish roots, Miss spent youths and a love of swearing and food. (Although he hates marmite, but I forgive him that). It was very odd that from the start I trusted him, felt at ease around him and could be myself. He made it clear that he liked me for me, plain and simply. He was not after things or wanting , he was just a friend. When things got really bad with my ex , he was the one I tried to open up to. He was the person I admitted I had issues with my mum. I swear I could of told him I was a marshmallow covered in cheese, and he would of gone “cool, and?” I did not need to pretended I was happy or ‘normal’ .

When I tried to take my life, I remember speaking to him a few hours before hand , and trying so hard to tell him I What I had planned to do. But I was so far down the road of self loathing and hating myself, well I just couldn’t , I tried. I really did, but …. Ok not going there. But a few weeks of not speaking to anyone and being hidden away in hospital, trying to piece my life back together , thinking nobody from my old life would give me a second chance or even try talking to me . Well he messaged me , I think through Facebook, at like 4 am. It was not a pleasant conversation to have , but he made answer his questions, to talk and confided in him. It took so much to do that, but he made me, kind of admitting what I did and facing someone head on was a massive help. And him being truly amazing he , again did not flinch. After I got it all out , he said that he would forgive me, but I had to be upfront, open and truthful about everything from that point on. When I said I didn’t think I could and that it was to hard. I got a curt reply of “life is fucking hard p, you can’t give up on it” . So from that point on I decided to meet life head on and not flinch from what ever shit came my way. And although I had days I was a total bitch, a hot mess and set backs, he stood by my side, not trying to save me or put me back together how I was. But he encouraged me to just be me and fuck what anyone else thought.

He’s been their every step of the way in my recovery. From listening to whine about how shit my life was, to me fulling apart over being me, to losing it over not being able to do what I used to do. He was the person who, when I got together with maîtser, told me it was ok to love and want to spend your life with someone. He was the one I said that I was in love with maîtser first too. He did tease the hell out of me as well and kept call maîtser my boyfriend. (You big Irish knob).

One of the things I love about him is his empathy and his ability to know when something is wrong, even when I don’t . His also shown me it is ok to be sensitive and not to be ashamed of having emotions . If I’m upset he will let me cry, if I’m angry he lets me rage and if I need to full apart he will hug me a little tighter, till I can heal myself back together. He is one of the few people who can talk me down of high cliffs , when I don’t know how I got there or how to get down. He is one of three men I fully trust in this world.

But by far the best and most wonderful thing he has given or taught me is how to take my thoughts and emotions, and turn them to words. He taught me to write , take pride in my stories , and to keep at it. He has never once gone, p this is shit. He finds positive sin everything I write and do as a writer. He was the one I went to and said I wanted to write and blog about sex. Unlike maîtser, who said yes but let’s think about it. He said ‘ I think it’s fucking awesome idea, and what’s more I’m going to help you.” Not to say he has always positive stuff to say, but he is always straight with me , sometimes a little blunt. It was him saving about my spelling, grammar and punctuation, that led me to having a English teacher, something that I love so much. He pushes me to make time to sit down and concentrate on the words, saying to try and not use greats, happy, or said to often in piece I write. He is also the voice in my head say “turn the fucking spell check on” . He stepped up when I was freaking out about writing stuff and acted as my editor, an arxengmnt that works well

The oddest thing about are friendship though is , even though he knew I was D/s , he never went ‘oh so am I” or “oh I have a kinky side. But are friendship is and has from the start, had a bit of a D/s side. I have called him ‘Sir’ for, like 4 weeks in to being friends, it just seem odd and uncountable to call him Aedan. He could also tell me to settle down , shush or behave, and I just did and still do. When I got with Maîtser , with in 3 weeks he was given permission to tell me to be good and behave. He is affectionately know as my tech and writing Dom!

And to go with this all , he is one of the sweetest, charming , epic friends a girl could have. He always has my back, pushes me and makes me want to be the best me I can be. He will let me full apart, but won’t take any shit from me. I can grump at him, but he lets me know I no uncertain terms , when I’m out of line.

But, above all he has given me back the faith in myself, makes me feel proud of myself and looks out for me. He lets my lean on him , when I need to, and will lean on me when he needs it. So, Sir Beasty, I love you, whole bunches, you big Irish knob!

Hugs,

Pixie, aka Doris.

Ps – I give you Lean on me , the Bill Withers.

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

The undercover little

The undercover little!

I identify as a little and sort of came out as little about about 18 months ago, but I’m not what people think of when they think of a ‘little’. I’m not in to onesies, sippy cups, or pacifiers. Not that the is anything wrong with that, it’s just not my thing. But I have found that as time has worn on I have started to have my own littleismas. From the way I talk, to bouncing up and down when I get excited, to what I eat and the things I do for fun. But one of the first things that kind of changed was my way of dressing . Now don’t get my wrong , I don’t wear child like cloths or in your face little, but the have changes are very stubble changes and they have made me a lot more comfortable in my own skin.

Thinking about the way I dress and how it changed , I can see the time that things changed, was when maîtser came in to my life (😘). I was kind of dressing for comfort, ease and without wanting to stand out. Maîtser kind of got me taking pride in my appearance and the way I dress. I guess you could say I start to dress in away that pleased him. He also put in to my rules , ones for how he wanted me to dress . One is that I am to wear girlie bras and panties, with a camie in the winter (he likes me to keep warm as much a posable). He also likes my dressing in a feminine manner and when ever possible wear dresses. Most days he will give me a choice of 3 outfits, and ask me to pick which one I want to wear. The biggest rule I have though is that I am to dress in a lady like manner, never overly sexy or showy , unless maîtser is with me.

Two areas that I always like to keep ‘little’ are my feet and my hair. I have collection of silly sock, with things like my little pony, pushine and unicorns on them. They alway make me happy, feel a little bit little and like I have a piece of maîtser with me. I never wear high heals , unless I’m going dancing . Instead I wear flat Mary-jane’s or ballet pumps, and sneakers or boots if I’m working. I always , also have painted toe nails, normally purple or pink. As for hair , well I have shoulder length hair , with a wispy fringe. I either wear it down and naturally curly or have it up. Either in pig tails, a pony tail or braided. I have My girlie bands and pretty ribbons for my hairs too! Babe will quit often do my hair for me and hair favourite way she does it is down and curly, with a ribbon holding it back. She also dies it pretty colours as well .

I guess I now have my ‘little‘ uniform, it’s kind of a realign against the norm sort of a look. I have never really followed fashion, which is wired as I work for a fashion house for. Long time. As a teenager and in to my early twenties I was a kind of skater girl / emo / rocky chick sort of a girl. Lol my god son says I was queen of emo, before it was fashionable.(his 19) but sines I have embraced my little side more, that look has changed a lot. I’m now more of a punky, princess with a shy side. But I also have my little , little bits . I have pin badges, earrings and a whole host of unicorn t-shirts.

I guess for me it’s been a sort of finding my fit sort of a thing. You uwould not be able to guess I’m a little , unless you knew what a little was, and not really then. Maîtser says I have become his punky little princess, comfy in her own skin, and unapologetically me!

Hugs,

Pixie x

Ps- all the talk of the undercover little has got me and kitten thinking of setting up a little craft shop on Etsy , but more of this later!

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail

And still….

It’s 4 am, and I’m still wide awake. My heart hurts, my bones ache, I still taste you on my lips. Every time I close my eyes, images of the last few days dance across my mind, in beautiful vivid colour. I still feel the burning touch of you fingers, as they traced circles over skin. You left only a few hours ago, but with in moment of the door closing behind you, I was hit with the craving for you. I try to fight my addiction for you, and still I want more of you.

I’m laid on the crumpled sheets, where your musky scent lingers, long after you have left. I play back the passion and energy of are love making from the night before. We matched each other, move for move. Instinctively knowing what the other need. You were gentle and loving when I needed, commanding and strong when I needed you to be, and still I let you get up and walk out the door .

Sitting up I see you tie still knotted to the head board, reminding me of how you tied my heads out of the way, causing me to blush. I give up ideas of sleep, pushing myself up and out of bed. stopping to look at my reflection in the mirror, gazing at my body. My bruised breast, puff lower lip and hair that is a tozzled mess. I feel the blush creep from my core, burning like fire. I can’t look away, and still I need your arms round me to make me believe everything you said.

Closing my eyes, drawing in a steading breath, holding on to my dressing table for support. My mind is playing tricks on me, I could swear I heard the door open and soft foot steps coming towards me. then I feel your hands take a firm grip of my arm and my eyes fly open as you spin my round to face you, kissing me and pulling to your chest. Then come the only word I need to know. “I’m staying, I still love you”

For Little Bear, cos even when you drive me mad, I will always love you! x

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life

Endless Possibilities – Being part of an open poly family.

So, I was sat moaning to poor Sir Beasty, about not having anything to write about and how I was one post short for my seven I needed to post this week. He said, ‘write about the possibilities of being in an open poly family’. (I think he may have been fed up with my moaning). But it hit me, I talk endlessly about the D/s side of are little family, but not so much the poly side of things. So, liking Besty’s idea a great deal, I decided to write about it!

Now first things first I guess I should explain are ‘Family’ dynamic a little. Well briefly the is 1 straight man living with 4 bi-sexual women. (I know he is a lucky man). At home we all classes each other as partners and we are pretty much equal, but we do also have are D/s side and that will always be part of a poly side as well. All of us girls are sub to the boss man and we are pretty high on the old protocol side of things, so of course this plays in to are poly dynamic. I’m also going to say that we do not class are selves as swingers. For us playing with people or fucking is not something we can do with out feeling an emotional connection with someone. Don’t get me wrong the is nothing wrong with swinging, but it’s not for us. (your kink is not my kink and that is ok)

Now leaving the boss man out of things for a minute, I’m going to explain us girls dynamic and how it fits in to the ‘Family’ When it comes to playing and sex. Babe is the family switch, she dates people away from the family, but is also a driving force behind a lot of are fun and play at home. Kitten, Little Bear, and myself are subbie with her and she is kind of second in charge. Kitten is sub and is free to date and play away from the family, but Babe and Maîtriser have the right to step in and stop her doing so if they think that it is harming her mental health. Little bear does Has a Daddy/ fences but is also Sub to maîtriser and Babe. She can date and play away from her family but chooses not to at the moment. Then the is little old me, I’m married to maîtriser and his sub. I don’t date outside of the family and I don’t play or fuck anyone else without maîtriser or babe being with me (ok so I can play with kitten and little bear). I do this through choice and not because of rules. It’s more the fact that I draw strength from having them with me and I feel more relaxed with them with me.

Us girls Go on are Girl dates and this is where we get to have some fun! We all love flirting, teasing, and getting phone numbers. We can kiss who ever we want as long as we have the other girls in sight. But the is no taking people home or disappearing outside. If we are drinking, someone (normally me or Babe) stays sober, just in case. Maîtriser says when we go for a ‘Big ‘night out it’s like we are hunting in a pack and the men and women of where ever we are going should watch out!

At home we fuck and play pretty much when and where we want too! If we ask maîtriser first. We also have people who join us in are kinky fuckery from time to time. In kind of a kinky sleep over (I don’t like the word orgies, they sound kind of dirty). The girls can also have people stay over, if they let us all know first, if they play safe and if the person understands and Is respectful of are set up. We also have rules around play and sex. We always stay safe, sane, and consensual. We don’t play if we don’t want to or don’t feel like it. If we bring anyone else in to playing with us, we all must agree. But above we never make each other feel awkward if we don’t want to play.

We also invited people to join us in D/s senses as well. Normally Dom / Switch males who don’t mind following directions, And Dom women who can do the same. We also have a lot of playmates who are Sub female, who’s Doms let them join in are fun and games. Now I mentioned ‘as long as they can take direction’ bit, well this is because Maîtriser is a big old vouarist and loves telling people what to do us girls. (one of the reasons he is known as the boss man). So, when we have others in sense with us he is normally sat at the side, getting his rocks of to us playing to are hearts content. The fact that we all have very naughty exebishunest streaks means that we a happy to play like this and make him proud.For me on a personal level, I find playing with other amazingly good for my self-esteem, but I need to know the person first and need to trust them. My ex would bring other women and men home and expect me to want to fuck them, but now I get to bring people I want to screw in to the mix and I can say no whenever I want. I prefer Maîtriser or Babe with me and I love being told what to do. But that is more my submissive side than anything else. Oh, and I am always looking for new playmates!

So, to us being part of an ‘Open’ Poly family really does hold a world of possibility’s and we love the little, twisted family that we are. So that is my take on it! What does Open mean to you?
Pixie x

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., socail

The people in my life.

The people in my life.
For anyone who follows me on twitter or my blog will have heard me talk about the people in my life and how much they mean to me. They are what keeps me going at times and are by enlarge what makes me who I am. I have written a little about them in the past, but never any real detail and I feel I should, I mean it feels rude not to really, they are simply to rade not too!

Maîtriser/ Boss man/ Tony: My Dom and Husband, he is also my Care-giver / Big and the sadist, to my masochist side. He has been my Dom for almost 5 years and we have been a couple for 4 and half years (long story). We have been married for just over a year and have 2 tiny twin daughters, Connie, and Evie. He is big, rough around the edges and a Gentleman. His tough kick boxing diamond, who has a hidden softer side. Clever, Funny, witty, and talented guy, who has a bad habit of sing Justine Bieber. (are little girls light up if JB comes on the radio). Best father and husband in the world in my eye and my hero.
Babe: Switch/ maîtriser second. Strong, practical, down to earth. Beautifully than words, Very clever and extremely funny. She is my Female Dom, who I do everything she tells me the first time, without fail. She is the meaning of the word sadists and Queen of ropes! She is possibly the bravest person I now, she will call maîtriser out if she thinks he is being to harsh or is wrong (yes, Doms can be wrong sometimes). Some people would say she is moody and rude, but she just does not do BS and calls a spade a spade.
Kitten: My best and oldest friend in the whole flipping world. Strong, funny, sweet, and incredibly talented. She is stunningly beautiful and sexy as hell, even if she does not believe it. She is the family peace maker, she is the person I turn to when I don’t know how I feel or don’t understand what is happening. She has a way of calming down, when I don’t know why I’m angry. She is my partner in crime, tag-team Buddy, and my nap time mate. I Love my Kitten.
Little Bear: The family’s Little/ Brat. Super cute, sweetheart, funny and possibly a little crazy. She brings out my protective and maternal side. Prone to bouts sulking and extrema brattiness. Obsessed with anything pink, purple, fluffy or sparkling. She has Daddy/ Faience as well as the boss man. She is also sort of the family social director and party planner. She is my chef snuggle bunny and little-space buddy!
Emit: One of my oldest and best friends. He a wardrobe master, working in New York. Someone I have and always want to know. We have both gone through and fought back from Domestic abuse. A dresser in a theatre. Smart, funny, charming, and cute as a button. He is my subbie shopping partner and my chef cheer leader!
Sir Beasty / Aedan O’Healy: Friend and protector. Tough guy with a squishy fluffy side. Witty, clever and has a way with words.one of very few people I trust 100%. My editor, sounding board and giver of advice. We trade friendly insult, cheeky banter and reminisce about Ireland. He has written permissions to tell me to hush, stop sassing and to behave. He has a really weird way of knowing what I’m thinking before I do!
Big Steve: The big tough guy in my life! (his 6ft 5). But is a total sweet heart who make me smile and never has a bad word to say about anyone! He is our personal trainer and he can push us as hard as he wants to and is even allowed to set punishments if we misbehave. (the worst I’ve ever got is legs and arms in the same day). but he is also the one who can get me to open and to make me cry when I get really stressed and need some relief. Top hugger ever!

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Day 3 of the submissive guides advent calendar for submissives – The wise words.

So today on are submissive advent calendar Words of wisdom that we have been given, found , or stumbled upon in are journey through life or in submission. how they have inspired us and stayed with us over time. The were 2 activities to day. The first was to sit and spend 5 minutes thinking of all the wise words you have received over the years. thinking about how the effect you and why they have stuck with you. The second was to take these wise words and turn them in to a holly bundle Christmas decoration. As much as I wanted to make the holly bundles , we have had a really busy day . We all went to mass , went a bought the last bits of are Christmas decorations , had a Lego building marathon , homework and babies to care for, so we did the first.

It was actually a really awesome way to spend 15 minutes of quiet time. I got to sit with a cup of tea, reflecting on the past and how it has shaped me as a submissive. we as a family , well us girls chose to kind of build on the idea , by listing them and chatting about while we cooked dinner. what was amazing , well I think was how we all had listed advice that we had got from each other and how they had affect us!

some of the words of wisdom I listed.

  • breath , just breath. keep moving forward, take baby steps if you have to but just keep moving, and just breath.
  • What make you weird and different , is you greatest strength.
  • in submission I find power.
  • It’s ok to not be ok all of the time.
  • The is nothing wrong with a good girl having a naughty side.
  • Love should never hurt , unless you want it to.
  • Don’t let the bastards grind you down.
  • Never under-estimate the power of a coy smile and shy eyes.

Well that was todays, cant wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

bdsm, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized, wicked wednesday

His voice. 

I hate working away from home. The 12-hour days spent setting up the class room, the question that I have had to answer a 1000 time before, then the packing away, only to come back and start all over in the morning. The worst part is the drive to the budget chain hotel, to my bland, generic room and a long evening of tv and myself deal with. But tonight is going a little better than most nights, as I have my darling kitten with me, we have permission to play and we have a call from maîtriser to look forward too!
We are under orders to be fed, bathed and in pj’s by the time he calls at 8 pm. So that’s how we come to be perched on the end of the bed, with Kittens phone between us, counting down the seconds till he rings weirdly it’s his voice I miss the most, after the way he feels when I cuddle him. It has the ability to make my do as I’m told one minute, to make me smile the next and wet and horny the next. It can calm, arouses and command all at the same time. His thick French accent, with a hint of Italian and your occasional slip of the tongue that tells of your time spent living in the west country.
Lost in a slight day dream I nearly jump out of my skin when kittens phone starts to blare out his ring tone of ‘all my friends’ By Dermot Kennedy starts to play. I think kitten must have been thinking the same as me, as her sacking hand reaches for the phone and she slide the lock screen and hits the answer button and then speaker. ‘Hello’ she says in a small voice that is very much her being shy and nervous.
Then comes his voice in a thick droll and steady as always, ‘Hello kitten, hello mouse, how are both my little ones? Have you been behaving? Have you been good girls for me?’ It’s with these word that I’m lost, I breath out a sigh I did not know I had been holding in. My shoulder hunch as I relax, letting all the stress of the day go and let the feeling of being safe and love, wash over me. God how I have missed him.
Kitten and I turn to face each other with the phone between us. sitting crossed legged on the bed, tucking feet underneath. We chatter away about what we have been doing and how are days have been. Having turned to face Kitten I feel a little distracted, but then I always do when it comes to Kitten. She is so damn beautiful it takes my breath away. Shifting a little, my knee bumps hers, I look up at her big brown eyes and blush. ‘So how did your course go little mouse?’ I hear coming from the phone, but It barely registers in my fuddled little brain.
‘hmmmm. Yes, what was that’. which is met with a shocked look on kitten’s face and stony silence from the other end of the line. Then clearing of his throat and ‘Mouse what did I just ask you?’. I panic and try I recall what he said, but I just can’t. I know not to umm or ahhh about thing or try to stall when asked something. So, I chose to fess up.
‘I don’t know, I was too busy looking at Kitten and thinking about doing stuff to her’. Blushing like flip and looking down at my lap. Again, I hear him clearing his throat and then a chuckles ‘what a sort of things mouse? Were they naughty things? Have they made you wet little one? Kitten be a good girl and check for me.’
She is up on her knees and moving towards in an instant. She pushes me back on the bed, her hand pulling my panties to the side, slipping inside, and plunging in to me. slowly running her cold finger up and down, then circling my clit. As quickly as she started her check, she abruptly removes finger, and brings it up to her mouth. ‘she is wet maîtriser, she smells yummy. please can I taste her maîtriser?’
‘As you asked so nicely, yes you may Kitten, but listen to me, I want to hear you make her moan and whipper, and then when I tell you Ruin her for me kitten. Do you understand? ‘ . I move myself up the bed, pulling me t-shirt off and hooking my thumbs in the waist band of my panties, dragging them down over my hips. Kitten is on her knees and curling up the bed towards me, the look in her eyes makes me whipper. I hear maîtriser chuckle and the sound of a zip being pulled down. Oh, dear god now I know what he’s doing at the other end of the line. I have blinding vision of him stroking his cock.
Next thing I know kitten is between my legs, having pulled my panties all the way off and tossing them on the floor. Maîtriser tells her to go slow, teasing, and gentle. His gentle tone is telling me to play with my nipple rings, to lose myself in the feeling and that I can stroke my kitten if I want. My eyes close and I just feel. her fingers, her tongue and the sound of maîtriser voice, its start to become a growl. His close, I can picture his hand moving faster and feel his grip become firmer.
Kitten has reached my clit and is lapping at it like her namesake. then I hear the words ‘Now kitten, make her come now!’ That’s when she sucks my clit between her teeth, biting lightly and pushing her tongue flat against my clit. I can’t keep it in any longer, I come undone, scream out her name and then all feel is bliss. I hear grunts coming and the throaty growl.
When I come down of the celling, when my breathing calms, I looked down and see kitten kneeled between my legs, a happy smile on her lips, then her tongue licks the moisture from her lips. A muffled noise breaks the silence. We sit up looking for kitten’s phone, that has become tangled up in the sheets and pillows.
‘that’s my good kitten, well done little one’ comes the voice on the other end. ‘Good girl mouse, you sound so beautiful when you come’ Smiling from ear to ear I roll on to my tummy and kiss kitten. I can taste myself on her lips. Then I hear ‘now mouse I want you to return the favour to kitten, and then I want you to turn the lights out and go to sleep, do you understand’
‘Yes maîtriser, we do.’ We say in unison. A reply of ‘good girls, Good night my sweet little ones’
‘Good night maîtriser, we love you’ we say. Then we hang up and I turn to kitten and promptly return the favour.

Wicked Wednesday