broken brained, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life

Fessing up time – the bad behaviour of Pixie Heart.

So yesterday (Saturday )was a shitty day in this pixie pop’s head. I woke up feeling sick and giddy , with a very low mood and not really wanting to be around people. The day sort of just nosed dived from there really . I grumped at people, whined , stamped my feet and acted like a total brat. I refused desert at dinner and got stroppy when I was told to take a bath and go to bed early. So in the bath I got and had that ‘ahhhh’ moment , only for it to go away when I could not get in to the Loving BDSM munch. Me not thinking right, sort of went ‘ oh grate I have been blocked and everyone hates me’ (not the simply answer of they are having horrid on going tech problems) . But out of frustration, anxiety and a feeling of being totally lost, We this little pixie erupted to the vile monster I become when an anxiety attack hits me. I feel I need to mark the difference in a panic attack and and anxiety attack. Panic attacks are normally sudden , coming out of the blue and can normally end quickly, but not always . The are a lot of physical sides such as shacking , breathing heavily and feeling sick. Anxiety attacks build up over time and will normally have a different trigger. The are explosive, frightening and last a long time. They have a lot of the same physical effects of panic attacks and normally need medication to bring them under control. That may also lead to an extended depressive episode, psychotic break or a dissociative episode. Both are vile and any one who has them has my sympathy.

Anyway back to what I’m meant to be doing. I took meds, slept, woke feeling drained, tearful and repentant . I apologised to everyone I grumped at, but I also knew that the was going to be consequences for my actions, the always are and rightly so. The first part was / is to fess up and admit what I did and What rules I broke, so here we go…. (buckle up buckle up yell)

• I grumped at Maister , kitten , little bear ,babe and steve, when they offered help or support.

• I grumped at people online via email, twitter and DM , again this is very much not acceptable behaviour.

• I refused to let babe take Connie when she would not settle.

• I refused cuddles from kitten and snapped at her to leave me alone.

• I shouted at maîtser for moving knives in the kitchen without telling me. We do not use raised voices in this household and I do have the right to tell maîtser off.

• I did not tell maîtser how much weight I have lost, just that I lost weight. I know I should tell him as it can impact seriously on my health.

• I forgot to ask for sleep meds when I woke up crying in the night and refused cuddles to help calm me down.

• I scratched at the worry spot on my neck , behind my left ear and on my low back, making them bleed and open up. This is a form of self harm

• I have started swearing again. This is a basic rule break and I know very well how much Babe dislikes it.

• I put myself over 30 times a day for at least 5 days. Major problem and breaks at least 4 rules.

• Pushed myself to the point of physical and emotional exhaustion, but refused comfort form kitten and little bear.

• Skipped my nap time 4days in a row.

• Skipped my snacks, at least once a day for a week.

• Skipped a dentist and dermatologist appointment.

• Refused to take pain medication when needed .

• Refused to stay in bed when asked to rest.

• Back chatted and spoke out of turn to Babe 3 times.

• Sassed maîtser and grumped at him for telling me to take a nap

• I had things niggling on my mind, but let them fester, instead of talking to maîtser

.

So those are my crimes. It the first time ever that I have not thought hold up that’s not fair. I have been a right cow bag over the last month or so and I realise how grumpy and horrid I have been. So now for the rest of the punishment and this time maîtser has got all the Dom’s in my life to have some input in to it! As I said the first part is sitting down and writing down what I did and then listing the punishment I’m given. I put may not seem a huge thing to many people, but it is a very humbling thing to me. It is a way of showing I’m not perfect, I fuck up and the is always a price for those fuck ups. So the punishment safe as follows.

• Loss of all unsupervised free time for the next 2 weeks.

• Doctor and dentist appointments rebooked, attended , with aunt May.

• No back chat, sassing or grumping at anyone.

• No swearing what so ever. 10 for each swear word with Babes hair brush.

• Work outs 2 times a week with Steve, working on excretion , form and strength. For the next 4 weeks

• 30 mins of yoga a day, as set by babe . For the next 4 weeks.

• Swimming lessons weekly with maîtser, for the next 8 weeks.

• To drink 3 lt of water a day and to carry my water bottle at all times.

• To eat 2500 kl a day, everyday.

• To reach my 40000steps a week goal , but not exceeding it by more than 40000.

• To write for 60mins 3 times a day working towards a word goal of 10000 a week, for the next 6 weeks.

• One story for MM, kotw, and wicked Wednesday to be written and submitted over the next 6 weeks.

• Blog post to be written about why I brake rules and why I keep getting punishment for them.

• Blog post about the 5 Parts of my body I dislike the most and why I dislike them.

• Blog post about my top 5 phobias , why I have them and how they hold me back.

• To read and comment on 5 blog post a day for the next 6weeks. Turning the my top 3 in to a #SoSS post on a Saturday, for the next 6 weeks.

• Daily public affirmations to be done and blogged about.

• CNC is enforce for the next 6weeks, and covers affection from the girls and any PDA.

• To wear what I am told every day, no back chatting. For the next 6 weeks.

• To eat what I am told when I’m told for the next 6 weeks.

• 9.30pm bed time is in force for the next 6 weeks and a 10.30 lights out is in place.

So that’s my punishment and here’s hoping the next six weeks go without a hitch. But more than anything I hope I can do better and not let maîtser or myself down again.

Hugs,

Pixie x

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Pixie’s Prompt – three questions, 300 words.

Pixie’s Prompt – three questions, 300 words.
Answer the 3 questions in 300 words or less, but giving reasoned answer.

1) An important person in your life: My Great Aunty May. Simply because she is an amazing woman. Strong minded, open, and clever. She has taught me some many things about being who I am. She is a feisty lady, who is farce and brave, even when she’s not. But the thing I love about her the most is the fact she has been there every step of the way of my recovery. From hospital, to coming home, to remarrying and becoming a mum, she ha been there. Oh, and she can tell the boss man what to do!

2) A thing your life has in excess: Love, my life is full of love. Whether that is giving love, being loved, or feeling love. Some many different types of love. For friends, lovers, family, or my babies. I never thought it was possible to feel this much love and I’m a very blessed lady to have this amount of love in my life.

 

3) How you procrastinate: Well I don’t really! No, I do, but I also must have a lot of structure in my days, or I feel very stressed and like I’m just waiting time. That would then make me panicky and anxious and no one wants that. I guess I do like Pinterest and twitter quite a lot. I also enjoy stripping down to my panties and a t-shirt, turning up the music and dancing round the kitchen. Also, a big fan of taking long baths and naps. But then I am also happy to spend the day writing or to clean for a few hours. For me life is about balance and priorities.

See i can write something in under 300 words!

Hugs,

Pixie

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Pixie’s prompt – Music be the food of love….

Pic 3 pieces of music that mean different things to you. Explain what they mean to you and why? How do you feel when you hear them? What do you think of when your hear them?

The town I loved so welll , by Phil Coulte. (the High Kings version).

This is a song that was written by Phil Coulte of the Dubliners and it’s about his childhood growing up in a town called Derry in Northern Ireland. For me it takes me back to my childhood in Belfast and Armagh. I have some very happy memories of my childhood, which this song reminds me of. But on the flip side it reminds me of the troubles in Ireland. It also for me sums up the people of the towns I grow up in. Fiercely proud of are roots, Loving, caring and are refusal to let the troubles impact on are lives. It makes me happy and sad at the say time, with a little bit of home sickness thrown in for good measure.

One more light, by Linkin Park.
So this song is not the happiest of songs, and a few weeks after this song came out the leader sing of the band took his life. But I can really relate to it on a lot of leaves. When I’m really depressed I feel like my light goes out and that people cant see me. I love how this song sort of tells you that if your light really were to go out that it really would mater to people. That your not just one more light to go out and that we all mater. But I can also feel the pain of the person say that it would mater to them, reminding me of the pain I have felt when my friends have past away or try to hurt themselves . it a beautiful song that reminds me that no matter how bad I feel someone would miss you.

I’m Yours, by Ron Pope.

This was the song that maîtriser and I had been first dance at are wedding to, so it brings back memories of that. But it was also a song that he would sing to me as I was recovering from trying to end my life. Thinking about it I guess maybe it was his way of saying “oi, your daft cow I love you” But I was so poorly, both mentally and physically at the time, just nothing sunk in. But know when I hear it I just feel a rush of love and want to hug maîtriser. IT also reminds me that his mine and I’m his, for the rest of are lives!

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

New year, Better me!

New year, Better me!
Well 2017 is gone and I find myself in a reflective mood. For a lot of people, I know 2017 was not the best of year. With loss, illness, big ass storms and Donny-j. For me it was full of lows and highs. It was the year my daddy got sicker, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I lost friends and family and my depression and anxiety decided to kick me in the butt. But it was also a year of great personal growth for me. I found my fit as a wife, blogger, and feminist. But by fair the best thing of 2017 was becoming a mother to my beautiful twin girls. I know a lot more to life that being a mum, but when you have thought for many years that it is something you’re not going to get to do. Well when you do, it blows your mind. I never knew I could love something so deeply and fiercely as I do them.
I have seen loads of people posting their new year resolutions, but you won’t be seeing any from me. We don’t make them, as maîtriser thinks it away of setting yourself for an unnecessary fail. What we do is sit down and make a list of targets and goals we want to work towards and plan how we can achieve them. it’s something we do every 3 months and we cover pretty much every aspect of are lives. Even maîtriser does it and will let us set goals for him! We sat down on Friday last week and did are lists. This is where I admit that I love the whole planning side of this. I get to get all my gel pens and stickers out. It’s really good fun!
Some of my goal for the next 3 months are: Loose the last of the baby weight and 15lbs extra, run my dogs at crufts, attend eroticon, pitch some ideas at other blogs, do my muck run training, more swimming lessons and get my new and improved blog up and running!
Maîtriser has also sat down with my and we have set some goals for my blog. Such as post a min of 3 times a week, keeping up to date with emails and upping the number of followers to my blog. Lol one of my friends got me a bloggers journal and a diary that is designed for people who have autism, that have been amazing. They are fun, clear, easy to use and don’t feel like they are shouting at me. So, yay!

I have also decided that I want really work on my English. Not just writing, but spelling, grammar, punctuation and understanding. This came about after several nasty comments about my spelling and grammar. I’m dyslexic and have Anxious ADD, so that makes learning and understanding really flipping tough at times. adding to this I grow up speaking a mix of Irish Gaelic and Russian you can see why English is something I have ongoing struggles with it! But I have Bob my English tutor tailoring lessons for help with this. Also, Sir Beasty is stepping in to help with editing my work, so it’s a case of bring it on!

So, as I wave good bye to 2017, I’m hitting the ground running in 2018, so bring it 2018!

Hugs,

Pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized, wicked wednesday

The search for bedtime stories, Mood boosting and Smiles!

When I saw this weeks wicked Wednesday prompt was all about spreading the love for other blogs and bloggers, well I got rather excited. I love spreading the love of things that make me happy. Maîtriser says, when I love something or someone, I turn in to a little cheerleader. Lol that must be why I always cheer about him and the girls quite so loudly! (well they are awesome!). So, I decided that I would spread the love for my favourite blogs, cos they are also awesome and so worthy of a pixie cheer!

So, the first blog that I want to shout and cheer about is the epic CandySnatchReviews. This lady is funny, smart and I love the way she writes. Her product reviews are detailed, thought out and you know she really tested them out. Her sinful Sunday pictures, are nothing short of breath-taking and her candysnatch chats are not only informative, but funny at the same time. Her post about taking a sexy selfie, has led to me taking selfies and texting them to the boss man at work! but the biggest reason I love her blog is that she is full of body positivity and conference, that is contagious. Being a girl with body image issues and living with two other girls who struggle with self-esteem, reading her post has started to undo some of the damage that has been done over the years.

Next up is the wonderful blog of Cara Thereon. Now this lady is funny, witty, clever and has a very positive out look on life. She is submissive, is in a ldr with her daddy, and it is a poly, open relationship, so she is kind of on my level. She writes some very sexy things, that have led to some lovely times with my head between kitten’s legs! Her stories have now become a favourite of ours as are bedtime story. Again, the boss man is happy for us to read her blog, as she I polite and respectful of others and loves how her and her Dom are together.
Next is the blog of the very funny and charming John Brownstone Now I’m going state at the start, the are two blogs of male dominates that I can follow and read. One is Sir beasty’s and the other is John Brownstone’s blog. His blog is full of musing of a dom, on his life with his baby girl, kalya Lords and on life in general. He seems to have a very refreshing take on things and everything seems to be met with humour and thoughtfulness. I mean he even says when he gets things wrong. the boss man lets as read and comment, cos he likes the banter and he’s style of treating other people’s submissive. (with respect and humour)

The next blog I want to shout about is one of my favours to sit and read when I need cheering up or my mood boosting, and that blog is the wonder of Floss does life. Or as my aunty may calls her, that jolly nice lass off the ProudToBeKinky Podcast. Floss writes some very hot erotic fiction, that again has become some of are best loved bedtime stories. But the thing I Adour is her musings on life. She can put in to words, things that I think and can’t put in to words. the boss man lets me read and follow this blog, as he thinks she is a very good kink portative role model and act in a ladylike manner.

Lastly, but not least Has to be Girl on the net.. Just a great blog, full of giggle, things to make you think and ponder. The writing found in this blog is nothing short of perfection and was one of the blogs that inspired me to start blogging. The boss man lets me follow her blog, as he likes her writing and her outlook on life.

I could go on, and on about some other blogs till the cows come home, but I would be here forever. The are some many amazing blogs out there, that teach, support, and inspire me. Since I start this blog a little under a year ago, I have learnt some much about blogging, from other bloggers and can’t wait to see what the coming year will be bring.

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Wicked Wednesday!

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From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Days 15 and 16 of the submissive's advent calendar , by submissive guide – our needs reclaimed and the prayer.

Evening all you lovely little kinster! How are all doing this fine Saturday afternoon? what have you been up to? one day someone will actually go ‘ well pixie, today I’ve done XY, & z ‘ But hay hum.

Now before I get started on my daily ramble, I am under orders to make a small confession, cos maîtriser thinks it’s something that should be in the open. I think it makes me look like I’m moaning and people will get sick and tired of hearing me wine on about my health and stuff like that. But being a good girl, I’m doing what he asked, even though I don’t want to d: . I have for the last 10 days been trying to fight off a chest infection. I’m fighting it with help of antibiotics, steroids and extra nbs, and I’m bloody well winning. I didn’t say any thing cos , well I have had some people have digs about me always being sick. The truth is I do get sick a lot and I will always get sick a lot. I try my hardest to sat as healthy as I can, but some times it gets too much and I wind up needing to go in to hospital, which is hard, stressful and upsetting , for myself and the whole of my family. With babies now it has become terrifying , so I’m fighting even harder to get well and stay that way. But I  have also got to a point in my life that I am sick to the back teeth of being told to go fight being sick nice and quietly in a corner , so I don’t upset the nice people. I did that for years with me mother and then my ex, and having to hide something that is a fucking huge part of my life , is actually fucking my mental health over. so yeah , I’m sick, I’m fighting it ,no I want to hide it, no I don’t want you to feel sorry for me , but I do want people to know and respect me! Rant over !!

So now back to yesterdays actuates . the focus was me needs and wants as a submissive . With Christmas fast approaching ,  me needs can more than usable . the first activity started with sitting and make a short list of my current needs, my needs right now. the actual activaty was to make a bunting , to go up in a room in your house , and write on the back one of your bunting and then if the are some not being met , talk to your partner about how they can be met. the second was a simple hot chocolate , to sit down and take 15 mins of me time with a cup of hot chocolate. I had some down time yesterday so I sort of did them both, just slightly different.

For the bunting , I adapted it slightly . I have been making bunting to go over the cots in the twins room. So after I sat down and made my list of needs , instead of writing them on  the back , I carefully stitched the pieces of paper to the back to the bunting. then I got Babe to put them up for me for me, cos I’m not allowed to stand on chairs or ladders.. Then I sat and talked to my partners ( I love saying that) . Now what came to light is that I’m a really lucky girl cos nearly all of them were being met. I had 3 that I felt could be worked on or stuff that could be tweaked. Firstly I wanted more cuddles and kisses, will sound silly but we have all been working silly hours and I just wanted some physical affection. So we have all made time today to cuddle a bit and remember good bye and welcome home kisses! second was my want to start pushing myself harder to get back in shape. This was met with coition. After having twins and a C-section , I’m not allowed to push to hard. but we have agreed that I can do more swimming and up my daily step count. Lastly the was my want to do something with my brain and may do some form of study. well we have agreed that I can up my English lessons, the boss man is going to set me more writing task and today I have signed up to not only my creative writing class , but to do a physics class too! For the second one   maîtriser made me hot almond milk with honey and let sit with my jerboas  for 20 minutes . well I was supposed to mental , but ended plotting out a story!

So on to today’s focus was on prayer and how it can be used to focus the mind. The first activity gave you a ‘Submissive’s Prayer ‘ that has done the rounds on the internet, and to sit and think about it and practice focusing you mind, The second was to write your own prayer or at least have ago. I was feel sick and run down so I did the first activity . This is the submissive prayer we used.

prayer

I have for most of my adult life found prayer a very great way to calm my mind and to reflect on things. So this was a great way to do just that. I spent a lovely quiet 10 minutes just sat , thinking about the word and what they mean to me. after I had finished I felt so relaxed that the boss man-made me go take a nap!

Well that was 15 and 16 , I wonder what 17 holds for us!

Hugs,

pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Day 3 of the submissive guides advent calendar for submissives – The wise words.

So today on are submissive advent calendar Words of wisdom that we have been given, found , or stumbled upon in are journey through life or in submission. how they have inspired us and stayed with us over time. The were 2 activities to day. The first was to sit and spend 5 minutes thinking of all the wise words you have received over the years. thinking about how the effect you and why they have stuck with you. The second was to take these wise words and turn them in to a holly bundle Christmas decoration. As much as I wanted to make the holly bundles , we have had a really busy day . We all went to mass , went a bought the last bits of are Christmas decorations , had a Lego building marathon , homework and babies to care for, so we did the first.

It was actually a really awesome way to spend 15 minutes of quiet time. I got to sit with a cup of tea, reflecting on the past and how it has shaped me as a submissive. we as a family , well us girls chose to kind of build on the idea , by listing them and chatting about while we cooked dinner. what was amazing , well I think was how we all had listed advice that we had got from each other and how they had affect us!

some of the words of wisdom I listed.

  • breath , just breath. keep moving forward, take baby steps if you have to but just keep moving, and just breath.
  • What make you weird and different , is you greatest strength.
  • in submission I find power.
  • It’s ok to not be ok all of the time.
  • The is nothing wrong with a good girl having a naughty side.
  • Love should never hurt , unless you want it to.
  • Don’t let the bastards grind you down.
  • Never under-estimate the power of a coy smile and shy eyes.

Well that was todays, cant wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Diary, family update, musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

Beaulac Family update – Team Pixie.

So I did post my diary this and won’t next week as it has a lot of stuff in it about stuff we have going on with in are little family unit that the girls want to keep hush-hush. So I have orders to post a family up date. So here we go!

Maîtriser / Boss Man – Well the French man has been working hard as always, but has also been looking after us all tip-top! He has been cooking dinners and breakfast that are to die for. He was amazing when I was stuck in the hospital and came in every night to have dinner with me. He also had a night out with the boys , that he took babe with him. So he came home earlier than we thought, did not drink and he even when and got us all happy meals. (I got fries, fruit and a wrap with salad and spicy mayo, that was lush and also carrot sticks!!) . He has also blown me out the water by saying that he is going to work from home on Thursdays starting in the new year. This means I can leave the little ones with him and go back to my creative writing class. Love you froggy x

Babe – Well what can I say about babe , well as always she is my hero , crush and sexiest woman alive! Work is going much better for her , now that she is working for herself. She has now got a Brand new Hyundai I10 so she can zip round and not have to worry about need to find a huge parking space that she would with the family car! she has also been think about looking at doing one day a week at the local hospital cutting and styling wigs for cancer patients in memory of her sister. She did however end up getting a spanking for being late home and not ring to say she would be late! 20 on each check!

Kitten – we had need to celebrate this week with kitten, she has finally reached her goal weight and gained 5 extra lbs on top of it! work is going well and she is far more relaxed, although I keep distracting her!(but she is cute and yummy). She has been a good little Kitten and has kept up going to her therapy sessions each week, with the help and support of my Aunty May! Kitten also came up with an idea that her and I could set up a little etsy store , selling the Dog collars and bits we make for my dogs and the rescues I work  with. Thinking of calling it Cat and Mouse designs!

Little Bear – My clever little girl is now a fully fledge vet nurse! So we had to have a party for that! while I was in hospital she did most of the cooking and very proudly sent me pics of everything she cooked. She has officially adopted My great-uncle Fred as her granddad and I think she is now his fav none blood granddaughter! He has been giving her cooking lessons too! She did manage to knock a crown out , remembered we keep a kit to fix broken teeth, tried to fix her’s and cermnted herself to the kitchen table!

Mouse / Pixie – Well I’m out of hospital , for now! It was a good job went , if I’m truthful I was bloody frightened this time round. My lips went blue and I was really struggling. I wish this was a one-off , but my chest and lung damage are a daily worry to me, but I’m not letting rule my life! The babies are doing great , but raspberry seems to like laying along my sciatic nerves and that hurts like buggery! So got just over 5 weeks till D-day, how did that get here that quickly! This weekend is nursery prep time! Babe is putting furniture together , kitten and little bear are painting and I get to make it look pretty! I have decided that I’m going to go back to my writing class in the new year, cos I really miss it and it is kind of self-care thing. I am also going back to teaching on a Monday night and even though I’m on leave , I have been planning some course ideas and writing pitches for them. I have also somehow managed to get 7 dogs qualified for crufts in flyball , agility and rally! so I will be shattered after crufts next year!

Well that’s us! How are you all going and what are you up to?

Hugs,

Pixie

musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

Were Loving…..

Well I’m sat in hospital again…. Yeah I am feeling sorry for myself, but it won’t last , promise! I have to say though if it was not for the interweb , Skype and Apple tech, this little Pixie might be oh here knees, begging to go home! I have 2 IV’s in my port, prong oxygen and hospital food to deal with! So as a way of dealing with it I’m doing a ‘i’m loving it!’ list (do-dah-dah were loving it, yup I’m ripping Macdonald’s off!)

ProudToBeKinkiny Podcast – So yeah , while listening to the Loving BDSM Podcast the lovely Kayla mention that they were going to be on the ‘ProudToBeKinky’ Podcast, and of course 4 sets of shell likes pricked up! Are little family , well us girls love sitting and listening to a Podcast and doing something together (or doing each other), so when we hear of a ‘new’ New Podcast that we might like, we jump at the chance! So I downloaded the Podcast and we gave it a go, well what can I say , we did not stop laughing from start to finish! We downloaded a couple more to check the quality was there, Road testing them in the pits at drag met. Well if a Podcast can get a bunch of bikers laughing and going owwww that sounds like fun, well it has to be good! Sealing the deal of them going in to my weekly listening list was the fact that my Great Aunty May approves! We listen together doing the ironing on a rainy Tuesday morning. She thought it was ver positive , Floss was a sweetie and her other half is a dirty little sod!

Kink Craft – So I can not shout loudly enough about theses guys! Pixie and Mathew have an awesome website, Podcast, Plus size latex clothing and courses! The Podcast for me has been a huge help for me on a lot of levels. Firstly THey have a sort of rant at the start of the actual Podcast, that is about the stuff that is going on in the normal world , but refreshingly in a way I would. Then the is the fact that they put out an article at the start of the week, that they also do an audio version of the article. Which for little old me is amazing, with all my lack of Englishness and broken brain! But above all it is just the fact that it is total Body positive  from start to finish!

Tiggers Collars – Ok so everyone knows Pixie love her collars! I sort of re-found these guys after the Boss Man bought my first ever kitten collar from them. Up till then I had A sliver chain day collar, a black leather play collar and purple calves leather studded for clubs. I was allowed to make a short list of collars I liked on Etsy, and I stumbled across Tiggers Collars. I just fell in love with a very simple little purple leather collar that tied at the back with a ribbon and had I tiny little silver d ring at the front! When it arrived it was stunning and beautifully made. Well 2 years on and I have loads more collars , but I wanted a new kitten collar. That is when I found them and there awesome little on line store. They now have a range of leather , vegan leather and PVC collars that are both girlie and a little bit punky , so I love them! they even have day collars, BDSM jewellery and stuff for Doms! I have 3 collars from them now , and they are so bloody awesome that I can not recommend them highly enough!

So that is my gushiness done. The are some things that have been peeing me off, but I have decided to be a happy little Pixie and let them go!!!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

bdsm, Diary, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

The diary of Pixie Heart – 12/6/17 –

Monday 12th June 2017: 6am – Up and at them! so happy and got my bounce back!!! Woke you up how I’m meant too as well!

6.20 am – yay shower with Babe! she is so kind and even shaved my legs for me! getting out to find you chose my cloths for me again made me really happy! Purple Maxie dress, no bra and black lace boy shorts, with my Birkenstocks sandles! hair up in a messy bun and light make up. I look really pregnant today :/

7am – See I is all better! I made you steak and eggs! thank you for making me my breakfast smoothy! toast and fruit for me and the girls , but aunty may is having a fry up!

8qm – do you have to go to work?! you could stay home and we could fuck?!

8.30 am – squeak! tattoos and piercing for the girls !!! thank you for my treats as well , I know and understand why I’m not allowed to get them till after sprogging.

9.15am –  ok need to pee again! could you ask you kids to stop jumping on their poor mothers blader!

10am – made it in the city, but dear god is it hot and sticky!

12am  – tattoos and piercings done! Babe did not flinch and Kitten just swore a lot. Little bear, well she cried, ouched and nearly broke my fingers off! I had to feed her spirit and animal crackers the whole time and a bar of chocolate after!

1pm – ok so back on the eating for the whole family! banana milkshake, bean bugger, sweet potato fries and fried pickles. with a massive tomato and spinach salad! don’t judge , but I want ice cream too!

3pm – Shopping done! I can’t hide my bum any more and I have actually bought maternity jean! also finally got outfits for the conferees sorted!

3.30pm – home just in time for a nap and I’m taking Kitten with me, cos I need muddles! Frenchie I passed my foundation degree! and a 4.00 GPA!

5pm – Woken up by a kiss from you! oh you are so coming to bed for a bit , I have a Kitten and I’m not afraid to use her!

6pm – see I knew we need a Dom cuddle session! I love when you put us across the bed and let us kiss and play with boobies , while you keep swooping sides and who you fuck! also love you growling heads down, bums up!

7pm – hehehe! pizza and salad take out , cos we was fucking!

8pm – bath time and Babe reading to me as a treat!

9pm – Why do I need to go to bed at 9pm and with little bear? I’m not tired!!!

Tuesday 13th June 2017 – 5.30am – Ok I was super tired! Good lord I need to pee so bad already!

5.45 am – ok can we snuggle?! and yes by that I mean I feel frisky 😉

6.30am – hehehe, that was fun and by god was it nice to make Babe come like that! Shower time now buster, you are not kissing my aunty with your beard smelling and tasting like me!

7.15 what has gotten in to you?!?! not that I did not like that .you washing me, and than bending me over  , planting my hands on the wall, pushing my feet apart and then just fucking me! oh and the shower head on pulse on my clit, dear god in heaven sweetheart!

7.30 am – ok have you got a new Lolita look kinky going on?! loving the cut off overalls and mini mouse vest top and sandles look tough! oh and by the way I love the light makeup and pigtail look!

7.45am- FOOD!!! I had a bowl of bran flakes with a banana , 2 slice of toast and a boiled egg, 3 figs and yoghurt and a massive glass of milk!

8.30am – I still have to do English lesson?! oh poop!

10.30am – Bloody hell! that was tough! Right pee time and off to look at community college for me!

12.30pm  – Yay I want to go here so bad! they have great arts and writing programs, they do a start-up your own business thing , and an amazing chace for the babies!

1.15pm – we got to meet you for lunch! salad , soup and bread ! and more fruit and yoghurt! and cuddled and kisses for me!

2.30pm – So yeah we seem to of made in to maceys again! oppsssie!

4pm – Home for a nap on the deck in the sun , and yes I have sun cream and hat on!

5pm – woken up by a kiss again! oh and ice tea, nice touch!

6pm – aunty may and little bear made chips, veggie fingers and peas and corn!

7pm – family tv time!

10pm – time to get ready for bed?! yes Boss!

11pm – bed time story was inspired chose dude! cuddles and sleepy time!

Wednesday 14th June 2017: 4.20 am – So yeah I’m awake and yeah I sort of kind of woke you up to , but baby names are not going to choose themselves Frenchie!

5.45am – So we got names sorted, birth stuff sorted and a plan for baby shopping done! thank handsome for indulging me and just letting me talk it all out of my little head!

6am – shower time , come on get your butt In their mr! little t is not going to clean himself, that is my   job!

6.20am – Clean! today I have decided to wear a blue summer dress with sandle, hair in pigtail and light make up! yes I will wear a hat and yes I will have my water bottle with me!

6.45am – I’m making waffles and bacon! mine and Kittens will have fresh fruit and yoghurt with them!

7.30 am – do you have to got to work?!? We could all go swimming or kidnap Sir beasty and …. *pouts, stamps foot and looks sad*.

8.30 am – so we have decided we need to go by mor panties at target, no really we do!

10.15am – Ok so panties seems to of turned into baby, dog and house shopping trip to target! oh and can you please talk to little bear about what she says in public and how loudly she says it please? Today we had ‘ Pixie I love reading sex toy reviews on your twitter feed, when are we going to start doing them? The 4 of us masturbate enough’ . the worse part is aunty may was doubled over laughing!

11.30am – ok So you rock frechie! getting home to find you have a massive food parcel delivered and its got a picnic for us to have on the deck, holy mother is that ace!

12.30pm – So sitting on the deck, under a sun awning and eating with the girls is heaven! so soing this all of next summer with the babies!

2.30pm – Sleepy now ….

5.10pm – awww I crashed again, didn’t I! thank you for waking me up with a kiss, but  what’s with the bag and card!?!?

5.30pm – I’m Skyping your mother I don’t care what time it is! that is like the signal most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me!

6.30pm  – So I have stopped crying , for now! no I will not take my sparkly ring off , your mamma gave it to me! Chinese food tonight and a Game off-chance! yup I think are nerd is showing!

9pm – I did not cheat! My boobies look huge all the time! why is Aunty May going to bed early again, what are you up to?!?

11pm – Mercy , I call mercy! my bits are too sensitive! good grief, where the flip do you a) come up with this, b) get your energy and c) how do you get the girl to do that?!

12pm- Ok so your aftercare rocks! bagels, hot milk , lotion , pj’s and a bed time story , night you wonderful man! x

Thursday 15th June 2017: 6.20am – Tired and sorely , can I stay in bed?!? Ok a shower with kitten it is 🙂

6.40am – Really love the fact that it would appear I’m going to be doing the bare foot and pregnant look today! I am also loving you choice of undies, or should I say a thong and that’s it! light make, hair in a mess bun , and red lippy! you know I’m horny right?!?!

7am – big breakfast! piggedout.com

8am – Do you have to go to work?! oh meetings and people be damned! *stamps foot, pouts and hides your shoes*

8.30am – chore list says to take it easy and 4 hours of writing. I want to do washing and clean the kitchen!!!!

9.30 am – So you wont stay home, you teased me to the point of coming last night and now I’m horny, resting and allowed my phone! you have been warned, Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

9.45am – boobies pic and suggestive quotes it is then!

10.30am- I can’t focus to write and I’m wriggley , please can I go read and have a wank, please!!!

12pm – soup a salad and we bread for lunch! can I 69 with Kitten , please!!!

1pm – I told you I was going tease yah! please, please,please can I go calm myself down?!?

2pm – I’m going to exploded soon! Why has Babe got her evil grin on ?

3pm – Oh you delightfully twisted sod! edging and control practice at the hands of Babe, Yummy! bring it on dude!

4pm – Nap time, Babe let me come and I is now exhausted. Zzzzzzz

5.30pm – your home a full hour early and whats in the bag??

6pm – dinner of homemade veggie starfy and sticky rice!!!

6.45pm – What’s in the bag?!?! oh and yes I love dvd in the family room!

8.15pm – Bath time with little bear. I think she might of put too much bubble bath in though?

8.35 pm – thank you for saving us an I really am sorry you shirt and tie got wet 🙁

9pm – why don’t I have my jammies?

11pm – uncle! stop, I can’t take any more, bloody fucking Norah! So you go a new paddle and toys! I need to drink a gallon of water after that. Fuck! Oh and book on bondage for babe? Christ I’m watching my step from now on!

11.30 pm bedtime story and cuddles, best after care ever invented, night x x x x

Friday 16th June 2017: 6.30 am – ok so I’m shattered , so not having caffiene  today. only 3 days left out here, don’t want to go home 🙁 So shower and get ready for the day 🙁

7am – thank you for the cuddle in the shower, I feel very small and delicate. I just want to hide :(and thank for choosing my cloths!

7.15am – toast, fruit and yoghurt , and bran flakes! really wish you could be off today, but ill have fun sight-seeing with the girls!

8am – I have been thinking , but could we read the book club book together now that I don’t have home work?! just a thought 🙂

9am – good lord what the flip does it take to get a baby girl, two subs, and pregnant little out the house?? Aunty May and Muffins!

9.45am – Ok so I don’t think I could or will ever tirer of saying , ‘Oh just taking the subway in to Manhattan’ London and paris are great to look round , but it is awesome here!

12pm – Lunch and a sit down! Cripps my feet hurt and I’m all hot! Not sure if little bear and aunty May liked the art as much as the rest of us, but will be happy with the aquarium .

5pm – Off to meet you from work! love doing this so much! and going out to eat after work to!

7pm – Stuffed! I love the fact that over here the don’t think I mental for just having side!

8pm – I’m tired out , can I just chill and watch tv? oh and can I have my foot rub early, Please???

10.30pm ok bed time story and sleeps!

Saturday 17th June 2017: 5am – So I’m freaking out , it is less that a week to the conference and I am in a different country! I should be helping them all out and pulling my weight. also I have only jus realised that I’m doing a whole flipping hour and that I am freaking on in between like amazing speakers! Thank you for saying I could get up and write. brain is moving at a million miles an hour!

6am – so got that all out my head! thank god , I never knew how much of the stuff I worry about is actually really nothing for me to worry about at all! silly pixie! so shower and get dressed , then breakfast Skype call with steve!

8am – Ok so defo nothing to worry about on the conference side of things , admin Alison is on it! all I need to do is to booster my confidence and yay!

9am – family day! ok I’m voting for sitting on the deck and reading or an Underworld marathon!

12pm – yay we finally get to have burgers on the deck cooked on the grill!

1pm- what do you mean by ‘cute’ when I eat chilles and lime;)

2pm movie time!

3.45 pm – ok so , yeah , hi….. did I full asleep again!?

5pm – One last pizza and salad blow out before we go!

7pm- eaten too much , can’t move! Movie and early night!

9pm – so I have woken up now its time to go to sleep!

11pm – hehehe! I wore Little bear out! Babe gave her a good old spanking too! But best bit was tag teaming you with kitten! I may be 4 moth pregnant , but I still got moves and I know damned well how to use them!

Sunday 18th June 2017 – 6am – up and at them buster! yup plan home day! really don’t want to go , but hopefully next time will be back with babies and back for good! So get that cute butt in the shower!

7am – everyone up, showered and ready for one last breakfast t the dinner!

8.30am – I am going to miss this place so much!

9.30 am – Ok so packing time! yay! {(not)

12.30 – Last lunch at our little dinner 🙁 can we not stay?!)

1.45pm – Keys dropped off

2.pm- I’m just going to put this here, I’m not having ago or moaning or being a brat, but I really don’t want to go home. I don’t want to deal with my family, work or the midwife. I want to stay sat on the deck , chilling and taking naps. but I have to be an adult and go home, but I just want to say I was super happy here and cant wait to come back for good.

5pm – get the feeling sir beasty might be majorly pissed at me 🙁

6.17pm- I have never been more willing to take sleep meds and just sleep the whole way home!

1/6am – I have time traveled and I’m almost home, night or morning Frenchie…

Well I have made it home to my quiet little corner of the uk! I’m kind of sad to be home, sure I get to the dogs, my god kids and nieces and nephews, but I was really happy and felt settled in New Jersey . So I will rest today and be back on top tomorrow!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x