Diary, From the heart, Little, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 5 of the Submissive's Advent calender, by the submissive guide – The Music.

Hi, hello,hay! Well I’m up early and have hit the road running today! My uncle Fred is watching the babies while I have my English lessons. So I’m getting some help with writing this and get to have a lovely chat with a friend.

Today’s activities focus is Music and how affects you and how it inspires you . The first activity is to sit and listen to music that you love, then think about a few questions . The second is about finding a poem, or quote or single word that inspires you. Keeping it your pocket and thinking about it, and letting it inspire you. I chose the first , as music is a big part of who I am . It can effect my mood, make me smile or cry or laugh or make me horny as hell! I have quit eclectic tastes in music. I love Punk, metal and rock. But I also have a soft spot for rap and country. I will even admit to liking so pop music and even Abba. Not a huge fan of jazz or classical stuff , but they do have their place. but one of the biggest loves I have is for Folk, or should I say Irish Folk music that I was bought up on. No mater what I have going on or how I feel , Irish folk can cheer my soul, calm me down and make me feel grounded. Haha I guess I am more of traditional girl than I thought.

So the thing points:

  • How does music connect you to the world around you? Music is one of the things that can really effect my mood. I use it to help when I’m anxious  to help me stop focusing on the thing that is making me anxious. I can use it when I have a cry stuck, to make me cry. I use upbeat music start my day happy and full of energy. I guess it sort of feeds my soul!
  • Do you have a theme song? The boss man would say ‘right on time’ Cos I always have to be on time for things! but I think it would be ‘don’t take it personally’ by Monica or maybe ‘Savior’ By Destiny’s child. Cos I can be a little grumpy at times and cos I have been through some shitty times .
  • Thinking about when your playing with your partner/s or fantasize about doing so – is the there a play list in your mind? Yes defiantly! For D/s it has to be chilled and calm, with a slow beat and a melody . For fucking it has to be either slow and soft , if it’s romantic. Or if it is more intense or spontaneous , the has To be a stronger , faster beat.
  • Do you have a specific music you love to play to? What are they? why do you think they connect you to the moment? Well not specific songs , but bands like the kings of Leon, green day and nickel back. I think it’s cos they have songs that inspire me to dance and act a little naughty. I can then remember what I did to that song if it comes on the radio and then I get that sort of not in my tummy and blush at the memory of it!


Pixie x x x x



bdsm, family update, From the heart, Little, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 4 of the Submissive's advent calendar by submissive guide – Rewards for service.

Well Good Afternoon world! How are we all doing this fine and awesome day? I have been on a roll today. I got up did my yoga , Walked the hounds, did my neb and meds and ate breakfast, ok so that’s not the epic bit! maîtriser set me the challenge of going in to town , with the babies , on my own. So not to bigger deal really right? Well it was are first solo trip in to town on my own, I have really crippling anxiety at the moment and I have phobias of dirty places, public transport and pigeons. So for me it is a huge , huge fucking deal that I managed it! So as a reward I was allowed to buy Lego and have fries at McDonald’s !

That kind of leads us nicely in todays activities and their focus, which is based round rewards for service . The first activity was to think about what rewards you get and for what service you get them for. Not just in a submissive role ,  but as well as in your normal , every day life . the second was to write a plan or a list of what you want to achieve in the coming year. Both are majorly appealing to me , but for this post I did the first, as I’m on my own and I guess it’s easier, as any plans I make, would involve the girl and the boss man, and I can’t do that if they aren’t here!

So first thing I did was writ a list of things I do kinky and none kinky . on the none kinky list was: run the home, cooking , cleaning , washing and ironing. I run my own businesses and teach for another company .On the kinky side I look after maîtriser needs In anyway he needs me to, be that sexual or in a bdsm D/s sort of way. Him and I use consensual none consent , so I basically do as he asks, when ever he asks. It’s at this point I go , see he asks , not orders . I think the is a big difference between asking and ordering some one to do stuff. I mean yes he does it in a stern manner that makes me get all wet and horny , but he never shouts orders, he uses please and thank you and always heaps on the praise if I get something right. We have also in the last year changed and added in a care giver/little aspect and I have given him much, much more control over my day-to-day life. His also had me working on things like my self-esteem , my English , my confidence and my health. we also use reward charts, reward money and stickers. If I do all my chores and task for the day,  I get a sticker and £1 goes in my treat money tin. he will give me extra stickers for extra effort , and £1 for each one of them. I have to wait till the 1st day of the next month to open my tin and count the money. I can then save some of it if I want to buy something big or spend it if I want some little treats. It’s my money and as long as I spend it on myself and stuff that wont hurt me, I can do what I like with it! but one of the rewards I love the most are the words, cuddle and kisses I get from the girls, when they want to show how much they affricate what I do for them. The best one from the boss man is getting to spend time with him. Be it a 2 minute cuddle on a Saturday morning , or meeting at lunch time for a pub lunch , or the bath that he sits and reads to me. Other rewards I love Lego, books, stuffies, spa treats and anything to do with unicorns!

So that is my take on rewards for service, I wonder what tomorrow will bring!


Pixie x x x x


From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Day 3 of the submissive guides advent calendar for submissives – The wise words.

So today on are submissive advent calendar Words of wisdom that we have been given, found , or stumbled upon in are journey through life or in submission. how they have inspired us and stayed with us over time. The were 2 activities to day. The first was to sit and spend 5 minutes thinking of all the wise words you have received over the years. thinking about how the effect you and why they have stuck with you. The second was to take these wise words and turn them in to a holly bundle Christmas decoration. As much as I wanted to make the holly bundles , we have had a really busy day . We all went to mass , went a bought the last bits of are Christmas decorations , had a Lego building marathon , homework and babies to care for, so we did the first.

It was actually a really awesome way to spend 15 minutes of quiet time. I got to sit with a cup of tea, reflecting on the past and how it has shaped me as a submissive. we as a family , well us girls chose to kind of build on the idea , by listing them and chatting about while we cooked dinner. what was amazing , well I think was how we all had listed advice that we had got from each other and how they had affect us!

some of the words of wisdom I listed.

  • breath , just breath. keep moving forward, take baby steps if you have to but just keep moving, and just breath.
  • What make you weird and different , is you greatest strength.
  • in submission I find power.
  • It’s ok to not be ok all of the time.
  • The is nothing wrong with a good girl having a naughty side.
  • Love should never hurt , unless you want it to.
  • Don’t let the bastards grind you down.
  • Never under-estimate the power of a coy smile and shy eyes.

Well that was todays, cant wait to see what tomorrow brings!


Pixie x x x x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

3 weeks down , 1 to go!

Well I have made it through another week of punishment and lived to tell the tale! was quite a good week on the whole, been some ups , but the has also been a few lows! Both the twins are doing good, everyone at home are awesome and I found out tonight that one of my best friends Emit Is coming to stay for Christmas and New year! I have also got 5 advent calendars! But the have been downs as well. I had to get blood work done , as I do every month. It all came back clear except for me being low on iron and folate, which I pretty much knew, so i’m on iron and flote pills ): I had a wobble , that led to me having a full on panic attack, that I had to take meds to get out of ): I got court swearing , a lot and got given the hair brush. ): I also had a ‘I hate my face’ day, that was really not a lot of fun ):  I also have to confess that my head is telling me  I don’t need to take my meds, well my anxiety and depression meds. but I have been really good and told / talked to people about it. lol the help I got from peeps on twitter was amazing! (ladies you know who you are!)

So with all this I mind Maîtriser has come up with some interesting and fun punishments and rules for this coming week! He’s  calling it the refine, define and shine week. I’m calling the Self-in-flaitted-ego week, but hoo hum! Changes / rules / tasks as follows!

  • No swearing what so ever. Punishment for each swear word , 5 from babe a the paddle.
  • 1 early morning , 1 post work out and one bed time selfie to be posted. no make up or filters.
  • Daily affirmation to be said.
  • Free time is back , but is to be used for something fun and relaxing. eg Craft , reading or writing prompt.
  • I am to rewrite my about page, using only prospective words.
  • Spelling list and reading for 30 mins a day to be done.
  • 30 mins yoga every morning followed be 10 mins meditation.
  • 2 gym sessions with Steve (core and cardio) And one sparring session with John.
  • Do daily tasks for my submissive advent Callender (starting on Friday)
  • Start the pattern for Christmas party dress.
  • Dentist appointment made and attended.
  • Write for #MM #Wickedwednesday #KOTW.
  • Plan, tidy and finish a writing space for myself.
  • Daily self-care task to be given and done daily .
  • Afternoon nap to be taken between 3 and 4pm , babies permitting.
  • Christmas list to be written , by Friday.
  • To wear what is layed out for me each day.

I also get to go on a girl date and we are all going to dinner and dancing on Saturday night to celebrate our 1 year wedding anerverseryy.

Now this is where you guys get asked to help! if by any chance I swear on here or twitter the boss man would like to know! So if you see it , drop him a line at antoine.beaulac.1965@hotmail.com.

So that’s my week , have a good one guys!


Pixie x x x x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Reading, thinking and 1 – 5, take two!

So the #SoSS post I used as a reading list was Kayla Lords post for Loving BDSM.  Showing kinky love for #SoSS issue 2 As always with anything Kayla writes it is a great post , that is honest and straight forward, well written and full of meaning. Full of praise for some pretty epic blogging !

Thoughts on Subspace (and other headspaces), Floss does life. – So this is a great little post by Floss off of the ProudToBeKinky podcast . Floss has a way with words that always makes me smile and has a great insight in to kink. She really got the whole feeling of Subspace and Ropespace. (would not know about the whole Domspace thing cos I can’t do Dom) I just really enjoyed reading this!

30 Days of D/s days Seven through 11 by Witty – So this was a blog that is new to me, though we have been friends on twitter for a couple of months. This post is well thought out , beautifully written and very moving! it takes a lot to make me cry but this did the trick. Will defiantly be stopping by more often to read her stuff!

What Do You Think About Orgasm Control? by Selina – Love , love , love this post! A true little , writing in a charming and natural way. It just make your heart sing and puts a smile on your face! Reminds me a lot of my little bear!

Heavenly Silk by Cammies on the Floor – Some great, extremely steamy erotica written for the #KOTW meme. Blimey , it really did get me hot and bothered! adds the Boss Man says thank you!

So now my 1 -5

Crappy thing – I had a really bad attack of gastric nasties, due to me not reading the instructions on my antibiotics.

Good stuff –

  1. I have finally written all the thank you notes for the baby gifts!
  2. I get to have a lay in tomorrow!
  3. I have a gym session with Steve!
  4. I get to spend the day with my mother in-law next week!
  5. I remembered to take meds to help my tummy and I felt better after a nap, drink and a couple of polo!

So that was my Tuesday reading done and my 1-5 , lets see what Wednesday brings shall we?! Same time and place tomorrow???


Pixie x x x x





#Punishment, bdsm, Diary, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

2 weeks done, 2 to go!

So I made it through 2 weeks of punishment with no fuck ups or extra punishment! YAY PIXIE! It’s been a hard week on a lot of fronts , but not due to punishment. No any hassle I’ve had has been from my sisters and on a professional front , and that is all sorted now. It’s felt strange and odd to have to let others do stuff and not do it myself, but the house is still standing, we are not facing financial ruin, and the world is still turning!

This week Maîtriser wants me to work a little on myself and my self-esteem. I have a lot of issues around how I see myself and how I think people see me. This stems from being bullied pretty badly at school, ill-health and being in an abusive relationship cfor way to long. I guess I got in to the mind set of if people call you fat or ugley or stupid enough times , you start to believe it and I did for a long time. but over the last few years I been working with a therapist to challenge these thoughts and beliefes , but they still flare up at times and sometimes they can start to do harm again. being truthful they have started to be a problem over last few weeks , but I try to keep them hidden and not talk about them.  But i’m not going to any more and i’m actually looking forward to working on them a bit over the next 7 days! So here are this weeks rules / punishments.

  • I am to read 3 blog post of my choice everyday and disscuse them with maîtriser or Babe in the evening. I may also comment on the post online.
  • Weekly Writing prompt to be done by Thursday (800 words)
  • Daily mindfulnesss tasks and brain training (30 mins)
  • English lessons 3 times with John.
  • 2 gym sessions with Steve (cardio and core)
  • 30 mins of yoga plus 10 min meditation.
  • Write a goal list for the next 6 months
  • Write an eating plan for myself for the next 4 weeks.
  • Daily diary to inculed all food , activety and sleep.
  • Christmas party dress pattern and fabric shopping to be done .
  • daily tasks to be given in the morning by maîtriser. ]
  • 1 to 5 to be done every time I have a negative thought about myself.

I have also  got to work on my swearing and loosing my temper with myself. So if anyone catches me swearing or grumping, wag a finger at me!

Well lets see how we go!


Pixie x x x x

bdsm, family update, From the heart, Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

#SoSS – Spreading the love!(family style)

Right so yeah we thought we would jump on the Share our Shit Saturday band wagon! (the Boss man, the girls and myself . not the Royal we!) to be honest ive had 3 people give me shout outs in the last 3 weeks and really feel the need of d to share the love for some pretty epic bloggy -woggy- do dah peeps that are out there. (I’m going to point out , I’m not drunk or high , but I’m that tired at the moment and had to deal with dog drama today, that it has fried my brain a little bit! ). So having said that I was going to do this to the girls, they wanted to join in and the French man was like, oh well I’ll have some stuff I wont to big up too! So we are doing a  big old family round-up! What we have done is each pick 3 things / blogs / People we are loving and rambled about why we like them, So here goes!

Maîtriser / Boss man

From Daddy’s Desk, with John Brownstone. – A short video from John Brownstone from the Loving BDSM podcast, on why it’s not cool to use silence as away of punishing a submissive. This gent has articulated my thoughts in a much better way than I could have. as I would have said don’t treat you sub as second class citizen, grow up and stop being a dick! Clear , to the point and highlighting that it can do more harm than good.

Wear and Tear, by Molly Moore, for KOTW – Beautiful piece and stunning photo by Molly Moore of Molly’s daily kisses. Good read, but the best part by far is the picture she took of herself. Getting across how arousing knife play and cutting off of clothes can be!

Anxiety and Events, By the princess of kink, for Kinkcraft. – Now I should say that the Kinkcraft Podcast is in my girls top podcast. Bless them , they will all sit at the kitchen table and listen to Andrew and Pixie , then afterwards they will discuss what they had been talking about and each give their take on it. This article really hit a cord with me as mouse suffers so badly with G.A.D. it gave me more ideas of how to help her and also made me look at things from her view point. So Thank you to all involved!

Babe –

Pink hai don’t care!!! Learning to love myself! – A Post from the wonderful Candysnatch, a blogger who has a great outlook on life and is the epitome of body and sex posativatey . I read this article and past it on to are little bear, who has really bad problems with her body image problems. It has given her a real boost and as a knock on effect we have much happier little bear! So Big thank gouges lady!

Drama in the BDSM comunity , Loving BDSM. This one was kind of said what we all want to say about people bringing drama in to a D/s or kink environment. It really was wicked for people to actually say what we thought , but out loud for a change. lol basically the advise is just to deal with it calmly , talk to people, find your on fit , speak up or to someone as needed , and for everyone to just try the hardest to get the fuck a long! Little Pixie loved this on and she giggled the whole way through, so a Big thank you to Kayla and John! x

Hoilday gift guide 2017. By Coffee and Kink. – Really big thanks for this article. I hate Christmas shopping and I never know what to get people , but this is a fucking awesome guided to what is hot for the kinkies in my life!

Kitten –

Bisexuality, episode 48. Proudtobekinky podcast. -so we all love the Proudtobekinky podcast and when we first listen to this one it was kind of light bulb moment for us all! Floss was speaking for not just her but us too! So many myths got busted in this one podcast. Pixie also listen to this with Aunty May , who said ‘That girls got away with words and talks a lot of sense’ . So if she is saying it’s worth a listen it’s worth a listen!

Bitch. – Beatiful picture of an Irish blogger that we are all a little obsessed with! Great use of colour and lighting, positioning and placement. Sends shiver down my spine. Lace – Sinfull Sunday #344, by Little Switch Bitch.

Southern Sir’s Place, By John Brownstone.  – So we are not really allowed to fallow blogs of other dominates unless the boss man knows them in person. But the is a the odd exception , Sir Beasty is one and  rather new one is Mr John Brownstone. His blog is now one of are favourites. The are great post for Sinful Sunday, Kink of the week and about his life! one of the most funny , sweetest and loving Dom that the is around and on the net!

Little Bear

The complete truth about Daddy Doms and little girls , By Kayla Lords , For KinkCraft. – I’m a little and I love being a little , but I some times feel people think I just act like a child and do it for attention. No I do it cos it is part of who I am and allows me to feel happy, safe and loved. This article by Kayla lords sums everything up so well and is right on the money for me. Thank you Mrs Babygirl!

Sinful Sundaysinful Sunday is one of Molly Moore’s memes . Your given a prompt every month and come up with sexy Picture that you feel fits the prompt or any other sexy pic you want to add. I’m not good at taking pics , but I love looking and reading what others come up with!

Submiisve Guidesubmissive guide is a site I love, its full of all things to do with submission and great ideas. with article and ebooks that you can download and keep. We have got the submissive advent Callender and I can’t wait for it to be time to start it!

Mouse –

Torture Garden Special , Floss does life. when I was younger I used to love go to To TG , but after things went pear-shaped for me I stop going and now my anxiety levels are stopping me from going. Read this piece by floss was like being there myself, she made I sound so really. I could almost feel the beat of the music and see all the bright colours. She has really got it spot on and has got me going I have to make it back to TG next year!

How to picth your idea to website, By the smutancer. Great article by Kayla Lords , aka the smutlancer. All about how to pitch ideas to people and companies. Now I have not use this to pitch writing stuff to kinky peeps yet, but I did use the advice and use it in my none kinky life, selling some article and 4 course idea, so it really does work. Pretty much everything on the smutlancer is super helpful and so easy to understand!

Wicked Wednesday, Reblsnotes.com – Wicked Wednesday is one of my fav writing memes on the net! Great prompts weekly and you can write erotica or a little bit about your real life. Love the feedback you get and the support you get!

Podcast we love and thing everyone should give a listen!(even Great Aunty May agrees)

Loving BDSM



The Dildorks

Black People Kink

Cousenually Speaking

Off the cuffs

And lastly ….. My great Aunty May wanted this to be included as she thinks it’s the funniest , best written and most relevent Podcast around at the moment, and that all men and women should listen to it! The Guilty Feminist.


Pixie x x x x

Ps this was meant to be posted on Saturday, but I was a bit manic , then on sunday all I did was cry and giggle , then last night but I fell asleep again! So it’s posted on a Tuesday!

musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

Looking back.

I don’t really looking back at things in my past, a lot of them are painful and some are, still just to raw and hurt way to much. My childhood was pretty harsh. with a mother who chose not to be there, a daddy who was ill and being painfully shy. my teens seemed to go by in a blur of fighting, bullying , getting kicked out of schools and ill-health. When i got to adulthood i was with the same guy for a most of it. he was abusive (to say the least) and it led to and contributed to the anxiety disorder and serve depression i already suffered from.

But my life has not been al doom and gloom. As a kid both my perants worked full-time jobs. Me and my sisters were pretty much raised by my Daddy’s mum, my Nana. who was just the most amazing woman i have ever known. She was kind , caring, sweet and funny . She always let me be myself and encouraged me to do stuff that made me happy, Cos that is all she wanted , to see her family happy. She also had am amazing way of helping me calm down when i got angry or anxious. i have a form of ADD, but only found out this a few years ago. but my Nana saw how frustrated and anxious i would get. When i was angry she would send out to my granddah’s work shop and he would give me off cuts of wood, a hammer and nails. i would sit and bash nails till i either calmed down or till i had tears streaming down my checks . then i would get cuddled and hugs from my Nana. if i was anxious she made me do something really easy to do , but that i need to think about what i was doing. Cleaning grandahs boots and shoes, cleaning the silver , ironing sheets , folding towel or scrubbing the floors. Sound like free child labour , but it allowed me to calm down and belive it or not i still do it to this day. Ha the Boss man knows I’m not doing good if i ask to clean his boots or if it’s ok to do some ironing. .

I also have some pretty awesome memories of university . It’s where i meet Kitten and Babe. It’s where i first openly lived as bi-sexual and that in its self is an amazing thing to be able to do. It is where i found my love of pin-up style and all thing burlesque . it is where i developed my love of london. I was for the first time in my life away from home without my sisters or my mother or my daddy. I love my sisters and daddy to death , but they can be a little sifulling. when i think of uni, it is full of bright colours and loud music, laughter and happiness . It was full of friends and i loved freely .

it is when i discovered the fetish scene. I was young to be on the ‘scene’ at only just 19 and i was shocked and amazed by what i saw. people from every walk of life. In all shapes, sizes and colour. I also met Kitten’s Dom, who took me under his wing , looked out for me and also would sit and explain things to me. I had a huge crush on him, but kept quiet as i had a boyfriend. but i did have him as a friend and what a friend he was.

Well fast forward the years and after the bad stuff happened Kitten, Babe and their Dom swooped in to look after me. i was really not in a good place , but all three of them took care of me and loved me so hard, it helped me put me back together again. when i got back to feeling like me, i remembered the crush i had on the Frenchman and they all came flooding back , only a hundred times harder times. to cut a long story short we kind of got together . First on a D/s level, to help with control issues and a need to for me to feel owned and loved. it was everything i needed at the time.

Then came the physical side of it. I had so many hang up, issues and bad memories from my ex. It was so hard to not focus on them. That is when he came up with a canning plan. Instead of looking back on bad stuff, we would look forward and make new memories. A new me and a new us. so that is what we did and is what we are doing.

We have a new tradition of on the anevesy of us becoming a couple. We had gone for a walk by a local pond that is deserted most of the time. he gave me my collar, i gave him a blow job and we had a very nice fuck. i had to walk back to the car in a very short skirt and a vest , with no panties or bra on. Then the is the memoir of are first christmas together as a poly family. We kind of had 3 that year one at the start of december that we spent with are community. We then had are actually christmas day with are families. But then a few days later we had are family christmas as a poly families. It was spent in jammies, watching films, and cuddling.We took the dogs out for a long walk, i cooked a roast and we did presents!

So now i do look back, but only a few years. Since i have had the Boss man and the girls in my life , things have just gone from strength to strength for me. I’m now running 3 business, i teach people and i can fully support myself. i have embraced my bi-sexual , poly and submissive side. i have become i wife and a mother, two things that make me feel whole. put above all i feel love and love back as hard as i can.

I wrote this and it should of been posted for wicked wednesday , but my Wi-fi palyed up and refused to let me post this till now! Put i thought i would post it anyway!


Pixie x x x x

Wicked Wednesday

Letters from the heart., musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

letter from Maîtriser.

So I have wanted to share this part of are life  for a very long time, but it is only now that Maîtriser agreed to me sharing we you all. I am a girl who loves letters, both writing , receiving and reading them. It is a way that myself, maîtriser and the girls have kept in touch over the years, before i joined the family . It is now a way that we talk to each other  when is something that we have needed to really think about. For Maîtriser it is a way to show how he feels and talk to us one on one. For Maîtriser and i it is are way of being soppy and loving , without everyone knowing! 

The is something about the written word that really moves me on a lot levels . It can calm my mind, insist my curiosity and excite me. I think it is one of the things that made me full in love with maîtriser, the way he has with words blows me away every day!

So I am sharing a letter he sent me a few months back, after I had a melt down and was being vile. I had taken on way to much work, was trying to be more than I needed to be and refusing  to ask for help. he left this by my the bed so I had it as soon as I woke up. (please bear in mind that I have translated this from French to English.)

Dearest little mouse,

Well what can I say little one you have done it again! I don’t know how one girl can get herself in to such a tizzy and that much trouble in the space of 3 days, but you some have done again! You know I have put rules in place for a reason, that I want to keep you safe and from harm, and that everything I do is done with love. It not only hurts yourself, but me as well, when continually put yourself down. You trust me and have excepted my guidance, yet you still don’t believe that you are worthy of being loved by people. Am I stupid or do you think you are beneath me? No , mouse you’re not. You’re my equal, my partner in crime and my special little one, who I adore.
You must understand that I am doing this so you see that you are worthy of being loved, so you can be all that you can and so you can stop these destructive thought and behaviour patterns. Unlike some punishments, I take no pleasure in doing this my love. This hurts me as much as it does you.
So, you know exactly what your transgressions are, I will list them, but keep in mind this not an attack, but is just me stepping in to look after my girl, ok sweetness?
• You put yourself down 17 times in 3 days.
• Your spoke with your mother, without myself or babe being with you.
• You allowed your sister to belittle you in church, by saying ‘oh she’s just a housewife’
• You refused to allow kitten to offer you comfort when she offered you a hug.
• You clean on Friday for 5 hours, instead of the 2 hours we had agreed
• You spoke in a raised and disrespectful way to your Aunt May and your friend Emit.
• You refused to eat dinner with the rest of the family on Friday and Saturday night.
• You ‘Forgot’ to ask for and take anxiety medication, when you needed it
• You went out and did not take your phone.
• You did not talk to me or babe when you were having a hard time.
• You were grumpy with little bear this morning and did not say sorry to her.
• You did not ask for help when you needed it.
It pains me to do this , but as punishment you are losing you free time for the next 2 weeks. You will be expected to let Babe or I know where you are at all times. As well I will be setting you a few goals that I want you to finish to a level that will make me happy and proud. We will be spending time as a family at home and at the open mic nights at the britaina, with the aim of getting you to relax and enjoy yourself. Billie will be coming 4 times a week for your English class instead of 2. also, you are to allow Kitten or little bear to help with your classes and admin. You are to give all 3 of the girl’s extra chores around the house. You are not to see your sisters, brother in-laws or nieces or nephews without me or to agree to Baby sit without asking me first. you are to shower with me every evening, your bedtime for the next 2 weeks is 10pm and you are not allowed out of bed in the morning 6.30 am. I want you to keep a food diary every day, do you pulse ox, peak flow and bs level 4 times a day. You will also be doing 4 training sessions with Steve, yoga every morning and swimming with me twice a week. You are to up your mindfulness exercises to 4 times a day as well. I will review this at the end of the 2 weeks.
Know that I only do this out of love little one, it is for your own good. You can’t see it, but you are suffering from trying to do too much for too many people. The is no shame in asking for help when you are struggling or for breaking down a little when things get too much. You do not need to be all things to all people. For now, I want you to take care of yourself, do as you are told and to make me proud, that is it, do you understand?
I will see you this evening little one,
All my love,
maîtriser X

Well hope you enjoyed it,


Pixie x x x x

Diary, family update, musings of pixie heart., socail, Uncategorized

Beaulac Family update – Team Pixie.

So I did post my diary this and won’t next week as it has a lot of stuff in it about stuff we have going on with in are little family unit that the girls want to keep hush-hush. So I have orders to post a family up date. So here we go!

Maîtriser / Boss Man – Well the French man has been working hard as always, but has also been looking after us all tip-top! He has been cooking dinners and breakfast that are to die for. He was amazing when I was stuck in the hospital and came in every night to have dinner with me. He also had a night out with the boys , that he took babe with him. So he came home earlier than we thought, did not drink and he even when and got us all happy meals. (I got fries, fruit and a wrap with salad and spicy mayo, that was lush and also carrot sticks!!) . He has also blown me out the water by saying that he is going to work from home on Thursdays starting in the new year. This means I can leave the little ones with him and go back to my creative writing class. Love you froggy x

Babe – Well what can I say about babe , well as always she is my hero , crush and sexiest woman alive! Work is going much better for her , now that she is working for herself. She has now got a Brand new Hyundai I10 so she can zip round and not have to worry about need to find a huge parking space that she would with the family car! she has also been think about looking at doing one day a week at the local hospital cutting and styling wigs for cancer patients in memory of her sister. She did however end up getting a spanking for being late home and not ring to say she would be late! 20 on each check!

Kitten – we had need to celebrate this week with kitten, she has finally reached her goal weight and gained 5 extra lbs on top of it! work is going well and she is far more relaxed, although I keep distracting her!(but she is cute and yummy). She has been a good little Kitten and has kept up going to her therapy sessions each week, with the help and support of my Aunty May! Kitten also came up with an idea that her and I could set up a little etsy store , selling the Dog collars and bits we make for my dogs and the rescues I work  with. Thinking of calling it Cat and Mouse designs!

Little Bear – My clever little girl is now a fully fledge vet nurse! So we had to have a party for that! while I was in hospital she did most of the cooking and very proudly sent me pics of everything she cooked. She has officially adopted My great-uncle Fred as her granddad and I think she is now his fav none blood granddaughter! He has been giving her cooking lessons too! She did manage to knock a crown out , remembered we keep a kit to fix broken teeth, tried to fix her’s and cermnted herself to the kitchen table!

Mouse / Pixie – Well I’m out of hospital , for now! It was a good job went , if I’m truthful I was bloody frightened this time round. My lips went blue and I was really struggling. I wish this was a one-off , but my chest and lung damage are a daily worry to me, but I’m not letting rule my life! The babies are doing great , but raspberry seems to like laying along my sciatic nerves and that hurts like buggery! So got just over 5 weeks till D-day, how did that get here that quickly! This weekend is nursery prep time! Babe is putting furniture together , kitten and little bear are painting and I get to make it look pretty! I have decided that I’m going to go back to my writing class in the new year, cos I really miss it and it is kind of self-care thing. I am also going back to teaching on a Monday night and even though I’m on leave , I have been planning some course ideas and writing pitches for them. I have also somehow managed to get 7 dogs qualified for crufts in flyball , agility and rally! so I will be shattered after crufts next year!

Well that’s us! How are you all going and what are you up to?