Masturbation Monday, Uncategorized

A lunchtime delight.

A lunchtime delight.

The house work is done, dogs are walked and feed , babies are out to lunch with their nana. The house is still and quiet, except for the hum of the washer, a slight snore from a sleeping Hound , and the overly loud ticking of the kitchen clock. I should make myself sit down and write or answer the boring emails, but I’m in the mood for teasing and misbehaving. So it is time to strip off my top, make sure my boobs are looking delightful, and take a boob selfie. (Thank you so much candysnatchreviews 😘) . It gets texted to maîtser, along with a message reading ‘are you coming home for lunch? You could eat me if you want😋😉’ . Knowing fully well that he is in a meeting at work and what it will do to him.

My phone beeps 5 minutes later, and I’m not shocked to see that it’s from maîtser. But my fingers tremble slightly as I open the message, not from fear but from anticipation, want and need. It simply reads ‘on my way home, be naked and in bed. We’re not eating , your getting spanked and fucked, be ready’ . That is enough to have me making puddles in my chair.

Looking at the clock , I jump up from my chair and fly up the stairs . Stripping off my clothes and throwing in dirty clothes hamper. I grab my hair brush and drag it through the mass of unruly curls, tying them up in a high pony tail. Next I check my face, adding a little mascara, pinching my checks to add a little lush to my pale checks. (Of all things to inherit from my nana, I got her big toes, pale skin, curly red hair , and the dimples on my bum) I grab my tooth brush, giving my teeth a super quick scrub, rinsing with some mouth wash. Then it’s a little lipstick, sprites of perfume and grabbing my play collar. The purple one, plan , simply and to the point, pretty much like me!

I hear the car pull up on the drive outside, just as I reach the bed. I dive on the bed , settling back on haunches, legs spread, back straight, head held high and eyes down cast. Arms out stretched, collar in my hands. I hear the door downstairs open and slam shut behind you and then your slow delperate tread on the stairs. I have now idea how the flip it takes you so long to walk up 2 flights of stairs. I am getting more and more fidgety the longer you take, is that why you take so long?

Then the door knob to the bedroom turns oh so slowly, and the door opens, in what seems like slow motion, and in you walk. Bold as brass , cocky and full of that confidence that is so you. You walk to the side of the bed, unclasping my chain day collar, and putting it on the dresser. For a brief second I feel truly naked with no collar round my neck, but as soon as you take the collar from my trembling fingers , placing round my neck, buckling and snapping it’s padlock firmly shut, I feel as if I’m clothed again. You remove you shoes, tie, socks and shirt, and join me on the bed. Sitting with you back against the head bored, legs outstretched and wide apart. You place a pillow between them and pat the pillow. With a soft tone , you utter “come lay down little one” , motioning for me to lay across your lap and except my punishment, like a good girl.

I always love laying across your knee, it feels like home. But the fact you now lay a pillow down so my tummy has something soft and supporting it, so the baby does not get squashed. With it the fact I get to wriggle , stretch and wiggle till I’m comfortable and can feel what that does to you , well it’s yummy! “You finished my little mouse?” You say , with bemused humorous tones? Not looking up , I nod and sigh, resting my head on my arms, wait for that first slap and the beautiful sting and burn.

When it lands , its sharp and sweeter than I could of hoped for. I count each smack and remember to thank you for all of them. He keeps them coming, harder and sharp than the last, and each one excites me a little more! He finish with such a hard blow, that I know I’ll have a hell of a bruised bottom, that I will be proud to show off if ask to!

He runs his fingers over my bum, deeps between my folds, to find me wet and ready to go. “Did you enjoy that little mouse” he chuckles. I nod that I did , as he brings his fingers to my mouth for me to taste myself and hungrily clean his fingers.

All of a sudden I’m flipped off his lap and on to my back, landing with soft thud and a slight squeak. Next thing I know his back on me, only this time his gloriously naked , hard and ready for action. Planting a hard , possessive kiss on my waiting lips , and surging into me at the same time. As hard as the blow from his hand, his public bone hits my clit over and over. Knowing better than coming with out pumishtion , I claw at his back and bit down on his shoulder, praying he lets me come. I can feel how close he is and then with a roar his shouts at me to come, as his climax takes me over the edge, to my own shattering climax.

The next thing I know , he rolls on to his side snuggling me in to him , as I drift off to sleep.

I wake soon after , to the smell of hot cinnamon bagels and the feeling of my bum being rubbed. “Wake up little one, I have to get back to work. Eat this, drink your milk and rest for an hour” he says , place a kiss on my nose. I stretch , open my eyes and smile a lazy grin. With one last lingering kiss his gone, leaving me to my beagle and the wonderful after glow of my lunch time delight.

Masturbation Monday

Masturbation Monday

“Good girl”

With your fingers wrapped in my hair, forcing your cock further down my throat, making me gag a little as It goes. I try to relax and swallow your member, all the way down, ignoring as it hits the back of my throat. “Good girl” you growl, in a deep warm tone. A smile creeps across my lips, a gush of juices, begin to seep out of my folds, trickling down my thighs. “Good girl” is all it takes.
Your grip on my hair, tightens and you add a corkscrew motion, while you fuck my mouth, with your cock, like an expert. Guiding it in and out, not stopping, you keep up your pace. My hands snake downwards, between my thighs, my fingers dipping in to my panties. I run my finger skim through my slick folds, circling my clit, sending an involuntary shudder through my body. I let a moan around your cock, that makes you groan.
Your hand wrenches my mouth from your member, and you yank my head back, forcing to look up at you. with searing heat in your eyes, you free a hand from my hair, a slap my face. “ahah, little one, hands now. I remove my hands from my panties, and hold them up to you, like a child. You lace your fingers through mine, and gently say “open” and I obediently open my mouth as wide as I can, taking your cock back in to my mouth, but this time I’m on a mission, to hear those two little words again.
I use every trick I know, sucking, running my tongue up and down, over the head. I relax my throat and swallow as much of you as I can, and I hum, ever so slightly. I hear and feel you groan, tightening your grip on my fingers. You start to fuck my face harder and faster, until suddenly you start to cum, just as hard and fast. Spurt after spurt of burning hot cum, shoots in to my mouth and down my throat. I swallow it all, as much as I can, like a good girl.
You shudder one last time, pulling out of my mouth, leaving me panting hard for breath. You look down on me, towering above me. I look small, used, and abused. You pull me to my feet, in to your arms and up in to a kiss. You can taste yourself on my lips. Breaking away, looking in to my eyes, brushing my hair from my eyes, kissing my nose. “Good girl” you utter, just before you pick me up and sling me high up in your arms, take me off to the bedroom to misbehave.

Written for Masturbation Monday, go read the  other stories!

http://masturbationmonday.kaylalords.com/masturbation-monday-186/

 

 

Eroticon, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail

The things I took away from Eroticon.

 

Well I thought I would join in with a post Eroticon post. I have limited myself, because if I listed everything I have taken away from it I would be here till next year’s Eroticon. (yes, that does mean I’m going next year and I’ve started saving already) So here goes.
. A goodie bag to end all goodie bags! Ok, so I had to start with the good bag, it was that good! Full of sexy and kinky little treats. Trust me, I love a goodie bag and with all the conferences I attended, I get through quite a few. But this one had great things that I / we will use. I got 2 mugs, one of which the Boss man has declared is going to work with him and little bear has called dibs on the other. But my fav thing of all must be a pencil, that one of the venders had burnt the outline of a naked lady on to. It will be going to college with me and will be my kink side, on view for the whole world to see, without being in your face.
. Became a published writer. Ok, so I sent a story into the anthology for Eroticon, and it got pic to be in it. Meaning that I came away with a story published in the anthology. I got a copy of the book at the event and have read it from cover to cover, and my what a clever bunch we are! I keep looking at it and crying.
. A new / free toy! The awesome Unihorn stardust clitoral vibrator from rocks off. I got talking to the lovely lady on the rocks off stand, and she asked if I reviewed toys? My answer was no, but it is something I have wanted to get in to doing for a very long time, well we all have really. So, she said if I came back at the end of the conference she would let me have the stardust and we could do a review. Well I did go back, I did get the stardust and I / we tried it out as soon as we got back to the hotel. Lol it in fact made me and the boss man rather late for dinner with his mother.
So now we have past the very pixie focused gains, let’s move on to the fluffier things I have gained, shall we……
‘Made new friends. on the first night, at the meet and greet I had managed to walk in to the holiday inn and was greeted by the wonderful Molly and Cara. Then I was introduced to Mr DomSigns and girl on the net. After that I did the normal me thing of trying to blend in and make myself as little as I could. However, having a bad case of baby / pregnancy brain I tried to this right by the coat rack! Luckily the was another lady doing pretty much the same as me, I think I bumped in to her and we got talking. After 10 minutes of people wanting to hang coats up and being in the way, we venture upstairs to the main room and got a set. This was a great move and we talked to people! Lol the lovely lady I made friends with on the first night, was the epic Sharron Atkinson, and we pretty much stuck together the whole weekend. To be honest, she was my saving grace. A fair few times I got panicked, sad and wanted to go hide, but she made me smile and talked to me. we sat together to eat and hung out in free time. I even talked to people and relaxed a little bit.
. Found out big fancy bloggers are real people – ok so be that I mean that bloggers who I follow and really look up to, are real people. They are flesh and blood. They breath, sneeze, and fart like us mere mortals. I even manged to talk to some of them without going all fan girl and silly.
. Had my belief that academics are approachable – Ok this down to the amazing Madeleine Morris. I sat in on both of her talks and was impressed by both. She speaks with such passion and knowledge on her subject, I was slightly in awe. I grow up in a family full of self-precelled academics, who I always felt as if I should worship them and be a little frightened of them. But at university I was blessed to work with legends, who were ‘Academics’ and changed my outlook on education and learning. But then over recent years, I sadly had people who were very much my first idea of academics, least of all my sisters. So, when I met Madeleine at Eroticon on the Sunday morning, in between napping with knobby and Elvis, and had 10-minute conversation about pollution, sinuses problems, snoring, my ex-husband, and plastic surgery, well let’s say I’m back to thinking that academics rock.
. That I can be sociable – Ok so I made it to the meet and greet, the conference and the Saturday night social. On my own, talking to people and not freaking out. I’m not saying it wasn’t hard and that I enjoyed the whole thing, but I did it on my own without the Boss man or one of the girls. That has not happened in a very, very long time.
. Got a kick up the ass – This was very much needed for me. My writing and blogging has been on the back burner over last month or so, and I had to the point of thinking of just stopping it all together. I was tired, mind body and soul. But being with other people, who are so excited by what they do, sort of rubbed off on me a little.
. Inspiration – I mean to say how could not come away a little bit inspired? I for one am breaming with ideas of things I want to do and try! Lol I have even started pestering sir beasty about writing again!
. Comfortable, being me – ok so this is one of the biggest things I have taken away from Eroticon. I got to be 100% myself. I was the collar wearing, little pixie. nobody batted an eyelid that for a lot of it I was sat cuddling an anxiety blob or sat on the floor or in some ways little. No touched me or tried to make me do things that are hard for me. I was accepted as me.
. Got my Sunday craft fix – To me Sunday is full of 3 things, Mass, Crafting and
Fucking. I went to Mass before the Sunday morning session and fucked in the evening, but I also got my Sunday crafting fix. Thanks to Andrew and Pixie of kinkcraft. Knobby even got a lush new collar! It was also made better by it being in a nice quiet room, full of lovelies like Candysnatchreiews, Kayla Lords, wriggle kitty and John Brownstone.

Now this is where I thought I would be closing this post, and I really was going to, but life is never that simple. The have this week been a lot of talk and chatter in this house hold, largely bought on by Eroticon. I had a slight break down on Sunday night / Monday morning, about a lot of stuff I have had going on. I’m not going to bore you with the in’s and outs of it all. But the have been some major changes in my life. I’m going to list the changes and I will go in to more details over the coming weeks, cos I don’t have the words yet to explain why they have had to happen. So here you go ….
• I have stepped down from all my jobs, bare my privet clients and rescue work.
• I’m going to spend a while enjoying being a mummy
• I’m going to be working on my blog and writing
• I will be doing more kink focused things
• I’m cutting ties with a lot of my family
• I’m having a proper holiday and visiting some of my friends I have not seen in a long time
• I’m going to be looking in to setting up an Etsy shop with Kitten
• We are going house hunting in New jersey.
So that is the end of a very rambling post!
See you all next year?!?!

Pixie x

Masturbation Monday

Caught in the act – part 3

 

Conner pushes me gently over the thresh hold of his room and shuts the door firmly behind him. He pulls out the chair form his desk and urges me to sit down upon it. He sat himself down on his bed, arranging the pillows behind him and making himself comfortable. grapping hold of the hem of his black t-shirt and pulling it up and off in one clean move, tossing on the bed beside him, and then tucking his thumbs in the waist band of his short. “Jo your one stunning girl, but your bundled up like a nun really isn’t that inspiring you know. Do a guy a favour and flash some flesh, will you?” His says in a horny tone that make me smile, even though I feel like I might throw up at any second.
“what do you mean by inspiration and how much flesh do you need to see” I reply in a quiet shy voice and not daring to make eye contact with him.
“Use your imagination babe” he retorts in a rough tone.
My eyes flick up to his, to be met by his smiling face and eyes, burn bright with desire. I let out a calming breath and reach up to my hair, pulling the pin that had been doing a bad job of restraining messy curly red locks. I shake my head a little and run my fingers through the tangle. “how’s that? I ask
“Good start but keep going” he replies with a grin. So, I stand and pull my hockey shirt over my head and let it drop from fingers to the floor. Then I push my yoga pants over my hips and down my legs, wriggling free and stepping g out of them. I adjust my thong panties, I return to the chair, this time perching on the edge, hold eye contact with Conner the whole time.
“is that better?” I ask, and it met with a very enthusiastic nod of his head, that sent a jolt of electricity through my core and leaves me with tingling toes and a suddenly wet pussy. I laugh and say, “Well I seem the one taking my clothes off here, don’t you have something to be getting on with?”
He grins widely and shakes his head with silent laughter. “Little eager aren’t we, been awhile?” he says, and I nod and blush. His thumbs slowly pull his short and boxers down to relive the rippling muscles of his stomach, the thick dark hair and then a very satisfying cock. “are you sure you can handle this?” he says and points to his cock, that is so hard it is standing clear from his stomach.
I Signer and say, “I’m not the one who’s going be handling it, but I’m sure going to enjoy watching”. as I stare him gently stroking his length.
“better loose the panties and bra then” he says.
I stand up and reach behind and unclasp hooks holding my blue lace in place, and with a role of the shoulders it falls to the floor. Then I hook my fingers in my panties and shimmer my way out of them. as I’m about to sit back down I notice that his hand has stopped moving “hay buster, you have a job to do!” I chide him.
“Well you see I never got to see you come, and that seems mighty unfair to me” he quips back at me with a cheeky grin and deadly serious look in his eyes.
“what you want to see me make myself come, while your making yourself come?” I ask in a sort of shocked amusement”

“Well I would much rather it was my cock that was making you cum, but I’ll settle for what I can get” his says and settles back and gets back to job at hand.
“what you want to fuck me?” I say in a shocked gasp.
“for fucks say jo, of course I do. Your stunning, funny and whip smart. What would I not want to fuck you? What do you think all the flirting has been for?” he growls at me.
Wide eyed I reply with “but I thought that is how you are with all women, I thought you were being friendly.”
It’s met with a snort of laughter “So pretty, so clever and yet so slow on the uptake. If you don’t get that pussy over and start fucking me, then I might start wondering why I’m So attracted to you”
My mouth opens and closes for a few seconds at his words, and then I manage to get out “I still want to see you come”
“well you better get on with the job in hand yourself jo” he growls, his hand still stroking his member. With that I decided to just let go of my self and just go with the moment. I spread my legs, on tip toe. Run my hands, down my neck over my breast, tweaking my already hard nipples as I go. Then carry on down over my stomach, my hip and then slowly part my lips. Using one hand to hold them open I use the other to fuck myself for a few minutes and then feeling the tension building in my stomach, I start to rub my clit, building up the pressure till I can’t hold back any more. My head goes back, my eyes close and I let out a prolonged groan of pure excites. I have never come that quickly or hard at my own hands ever before.
Floating back down to earth my eyes open and expecting to see Conner on his bed, I get a shock when I find him standing over me. The next second his pulling me to him and in to a fierce kiss. Then he’s spinning me round, kissing and biting my neck. his big hands a grouping my tits roughly and in a gravelly voice his saying “tell me this ok jo, foe god sake “
I nod that its ok and get thrown on the bed. He reaches inside this night stand, grabbing and condom, tearing it from the packet and rolling it over his cock. Then his body is back, covering mine and pulling me to him. then he plunges in to me I one stroke and then his thrusting in to me with a power I have never felt before. Then he gets faster, and I know his climax is close, but I’m not quite there yet. he pulls out, flips me over, plunging back in to me and then reach a hand round the front and using his thumb he rubs my clit hard and fast. Its enough to set me off and he follows my, coming with a roar in my ear, slamming in to me one last time.
Moments later he roles off me and throws the used condom in the bin. I sit up and say, “where the fuck did that come from”
With a smile he pulls me back done to the bed and kisses again, in a possessive way. He say’s “no idea, but things are going to have to change round here. Cos, I need to do it again and I feel I neglected parts of you. So, Roommates with benefits or something he says. all I can do is nod in agreement as his hand start to fondle my breast. “good cos I think these could do with a little attention, don’t you? And he starts to mull my breast and nipples and all I can do is moan in agreement.

caught in the act part 1

caught in the act part 2

Masturbation Monday.

 

30 days of D/s, Loving BDSM, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

What we have learnt from loving Bdsm's 30 days of D/s?

So Today , well Tuesday was the last day of Loving BDSM’s  30 days of D/s. So it means no more daily emails , No more breakfast debuts and no more think about the D/s side of things, oh wait yes the will be, cos that is one of the things I will take away from the whole 30 days. The talking and think about stuff that is.  so I’m going to list what I / we have learnt from this.

  • what we all feel about are D/s relationship
  • What all of are kinks are and why we like them.
  • What we all want to try out, in and out of the bedroom.
  • That we all have hard limits that are off-limits.
  • That we as a family are really lucky and have a very strong bond.
  • That we are all very open to bring more people in to are family , wether as play partners or as a protectors.
  • That us girls are very open about are life style , but that we chose to keep it in the shadows.
  • That we are really good at supporting each other and communication is something we are really good at .
  • That us girls can’t be serious for more than 20 mins before one of us starts giggling.

On a really personal note , its been pretty epic for me. I did not sign myself up for this and truth be known I was not really that happy when I was told by the boss. I was trying to blog or write when I got a spare half hour here and there. but this has made me sit down and write every day, by just taking an hour. I have or had a really heavy work load, but by sitting down every day to write I have found something that I like doing and that I think (omfg I can not belive I’m saying this) I am quit good at. I have also loved the fact are little family sits and talks about stuff that means stuff to us. In a world full of war, famine, disease and politics, I sometimes start to feel overwhelmed by life. But having something that is deep and meaningful to talk about at dinner or breakfast other than Donald Trump or The general election , well its been kind of fun. It has made me talk about my ex as well and yeah, the were tears when I did , but I feel like it has put a lid on him and that I really can start to enjoy being happy. It has made relies , just how much I love the boss man and my girls. That what I have with them is what I need to have to be happy and strong. But more important than that it has started to help me be comfy in my own skin, and that is something that means so bloody much! it has also shown me that, yup we don’t really do sensible , we love talking and that we are a family of silly head!

So I want to say a huge thank you to Kayla Lords and John Brownstone , for coming up with 30 days of D/s , its been epic, fun , thought-provoking and just what I needed!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

PS – Aunt May asks ‘Did one of you write school text books or the such?’ lol She always has to have the last word.

30 days of D/s, Loving BDSM, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Dynamics

So this is nearly the end of my Loving BDSM 30 day’s of D/s journey… Does that sound as corny as it does in my head?! So this evening we sat and debated the subject of dynamics within are D/s relationships . It was actually a really in-depth discussion and in many ways I feel its made all of us see that the way we live and how much we care for each other, is not the norm and is not for everyone, but it is also healthy for us, we all take so much from it and for us it’s what we need and very much want. so instead of writing everything we talked about , cos we were talking for like 3 hours and that would take forever, you’re going to get a little bit about each of us, are role in the family and how we get treated as such!

maîtriser, aka the Boss man –  Dom to all of us girls. (poor sod!) Head of the house hold. sadist with a genuine care for are mental and physical welfare . Care giver who has is rules and will punish for any breaking of them, but fairly and with a hell of a lot of creativity. Calm , charming and polite. lastly husband and daddy to be, still getting used to the fact that this time next year he will have 2 screaming bundles of joy! (sorry i should put puke bucket warnings at the start of some posts)

Babe – Sadist Switch, who has a Sub side. She is maîtriser second in charge, who looks after people when they need someone who will fight their corner! Friend , lover and tea making expert . The one who will push button and limits to get the best out of you. has a sweet girlie side that she will show when she trusts you. I will also add that she lives up to the name ‘Babe’ on so many levels.

Kitten – Sub with a masochist streak. she is the one that we all turn to when we need to ‘talk’. the deep thinker of are little family and the go to when I don’t understand something. (why do they do that?) optimist , forgiver and head cheerleader. Always finds a bright side to things even when others can’t find them. For me She is the 2nd biggest love of my life, my best friend and my partner in crime. She my tag teaming partner and my pole dancing buddy. I would take a knife or bullet for without thinking about it, I love her to death!

Little Bear – masochist Baby Girl of the group . Massive tendencies towards Brattyness , but only because she is either anxious or wants to be punished! The one who will go to the ends of the earth to make people smile and laugh . The one Who always has a sunny out look on life and the one who bounces around , being silly! My number one cuddle buddy and my little space buddy! She also , in a way is the person who got me to say out load that I wanted to be a mum and the one I get to be a mother hen a fuss over, I simply adore our little bear.

Me , Pixie aka Mouse or little mama – Well I am Sub, masochist, littleish and housewife of the family. I can’t do pouting, stropping or being demanding , well not really, it just makes me feel odd. I am the one who keeps people organised and on track. I guess I could take house hold management to a different level. I am the pain slut of the group ,  it is my thing! (hmmm Pain!) I’m the one who is happiest making the rest shine and look good , who will sit quietly on the side lines. I am the one who love looking after people and the one who finds it hardest to show that I have a weak side, hell it only in the last few months that I will actually let people look after me when I’m sick! I’m the one who struggles with people saying they love me , with being told that they are clever or pretty or enough. i guess I’m the one with low self esteem and very little conference , but I’m also the one learning to let myself be loved and cared for. i guess I’m saying that I’m just me , little old Pixie!

Well that’s us then! last thing i will say , i was made to write the bit about myself as part of the on going ‘Punishment ‘ thing. Selling myself or say ‘oh i do this well’ is something that i really find hard to do. Lol i have to get Babe to write my CV for me , if i need to send one to a prospective client or with an article i have written or to people I’m going to be lecturing for. Self worth and i have what i would say is a strained relationship!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

30 days of D/s, bdsm, Loving BDSM, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Exploring Your kinks together….

fSo today topic is about exploring you kinks together. Well this was super fun to sit down and chat about. Lol we decided that Starbucks was the best place to discusses it and discusses it we did. Some how we manged to get 3 members of staff involved to, not quite sure how or why. I have a feeling that might have been are little bear! (she seems to be able to get anyone to talk about anything)

So I have my kinks (Me and my kinks) , the girls have their kinks , and Good Lord does the frog have his! Were not all the same though and don’t all have the same kinks. I mean yeah we have loads in common and we play off each others kinks, but we also have kinks of are own. Are Little bear is a Baby girl, but then are Babe is a switch who Loves to Dom. What we do seem to do a lot of is talking about sex and have a love of trying new things .

I think I’m really lucky to have the Frenchman in my life , he and I seem to have kinks that go really well together. He is a saddest and I have a huge masochistic streak. He likes watching his girls and telling them what to do to each other and I love putting on a show for him. He likes female Doms using his girls , while he watches and I love being watch with female Doms. But the are still things that we are exploring, like my Little side. we have decided I’m not a Baby girl, cos I can’t do bratty, sulky or pout. But I do like being looked after and doing little things. Not really from a sexual sort of way. They seem to be a really great way to deal with my anxiety levels and for helping me focus . the Frenchman likes it cos he gets to be more in control and he likes taking care of me. We also playing with PDA as I enjoy this , but find them very hard to deal with. Also we are doing a lot of stuff with sense deprivation , as it is something that the frog likes doing , that I struggle with, but wanted to work on and well its a great way to build trust.

But the main thing that seems to be happening and I’m not sure why, is that I am freely giving up more and more control over myself. I guess you would say I’m becoming more submissive. I mean I still bite and scratch at times, but I just really like having someone who will take care of me and take charge of things. I think its cos over the last 2 years I have been left feeling so safe, loved and happy. Still ask questions all the bloody time though!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

30 days of D/s, bdsm, Loving BDSM, Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

Tasks and Rituals .

So up for discussion today on Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s is Tasks and Rituals. Ohh I have to say this was awesome fun to talk about , I love my tasks and rituals! We all have them and even the Boss man has his for each of us. Babe has her games of chess, Little bear has her sticker chart that the boss checks every day and kitten has her Gym / sparing sessions. I have my nightly foot rubs, my sunday morning home work session and are new one of ‘Take your sub to work with you’ days!

So stopping and thinking about it I do have a lot of task that I didn’t even realise I do! I am also just going to say that maîtriser has been really careful with the way things are with Task and Rituals for me. yeah I know every Dom is careful of what they get their subs doing , but mine are also kind of done in a way so I don’t get all OCD about them! (I do have mild ocd, not just saying it!)

ok so my first one and this happens every signal day that I’m at home and the boss man is at home , is the way he gets woken up. Simply with me on my knees and giving him a blow job. We have this cos , well i LOVE oral, being on my knees and well he is so not good in the morning.!(what you say it yourself froggie) . Next up is something that he does, everyday he is working. It’s my lunchtime phone call, its are way of checking in with each other and makes me feel really special 🙂 . Also on a daily thing is how we all greet him when he gets home from work. us , on knees , by the front door , heads up eyes down cast. We cant do it ‘every night , cos it would look a little odd if i did that and i had my sisters round for dinner, but in that case i met him at the door with a kiss and ask how his day has been. Ok so my sisters take the piss and say ‘aw what a good little wifey we  are’. but it’s what i want to do , i have a very happy marriage and screw them!

Those are the things that happen every day, without fail. Every evening maître sits all of us done and we write are ‘To do a list’ for the next day. It will have all the boring stuff like do home work, lean bathroom and do food shopping, but it will also have fun stuff like , house keeping showers or what time to eat. I love my to do list! I get a sticker every day if I get every thing done and if I get 10 stickers I get a treat! 30 days with stickers and I get a special treat! (never happens , but I will one day ;))

Now for the really special bits I have with just The boss man and myself. Ok going to cheat and copy this from my contract!n(yup big man I’m cheating a little here , be nice!)

1) I’m to wake you in the mornings by going down on you.

2) I’m to shower with you 3 times a week, so you may inspect every part of my body.

3) I must keep your wardrobe in perfect order at all times.

4) I am to shave you on Sunday mornings.

5) I am to allow myself to be loved, respected, trusted and liked. I will remember that I am worthy of your love . I take the role of submissive as it makes me feel whole and at ease, but above all we are partners in life

So that is pretty much it on that subject! well I’m again going to go and eat again!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Ps – I have been told to add this , cos I was being a brat and back chatting , so I got myself in to a huge but kicking! punishment to fallow!

 

30 days of D/s, bdsm, Loving BDSM, Masturbation Monday, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

24/7/365.

So up for discussion on the Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s is the a topic of are up for a 24/7 D/s relationship and do you know what it entails?!? Well I can guess I can say a big old yes to both of those questions. This time round the whole D/s and the Poly side of the way I live kind of started out as 24/7, as the frog was living with me before we got into a D/s or poly relationship.

Ok I feel like I need to explain are living arrangement, well not the D/s side r the poly side. (kinky people, get kinky people) more the ‘How’ it works part. I own my on house out right , I bought it with money that I inherited from my god mother. When I got sick , maître, Babe and Kitten came to stay with me. When things turned from friends to more than friends, maître sat us all down and we talked about it. I said I did not want them to pay rent . So he said that Babe would pay the gas bills, Kitten would cover the council tax and the water rates. maître took on the electric bill and paid for all the food. that left me with just my Dogs and personal out goings to worry about . When little bear moved in she took on the electric bill and maître took over paying for the dogs and decided that he would give me a little bit of money extra each week. it was also agreed that I am responsable for the running of the home. Not just all the cleaning, cooking and other house hold stuff , but I plan all the meals, cook , and do the food shopping. I keep every ones diary, plus mine , my work diary and the house hold diary . I am allowed to ask the girls to do stuff like washing up, or taking the trash out or hang washing, but I am also reasonable for making sure they do it right and to the standers that maîtrewants it done! lol I am not allowed to do diy or heavy gardening , cos I’m super clumsy and will end up hurting myself.

Right let’s get back to the D/s world that prefer to be in! So, yup I live in a 27/4 Poly D/s relationships, with 1 Dom male and 3 other female subs. We all wear collars , we call are Dom master and we meet greet him on are knees most nights! I guess we have got so used to the D/s side of are life , that it feel weird when we  have been ‘normal’ .  I guess we are so used to the D/s side that is just like second nature . The are times when we get less D/s , like if one of us are ill or if we have family over. Lol things go mental if the frog gets sick , he has 4 women fighting over who gets to take care of him, trust me it’s not that fun! The only other time D/s goes out the window is when aunt emmer comes a calling and the are 4 women with pms, tearful outburst and neediness! then the frog buys chocolate, throws it in the living room , with chick flicks, blankies and the delieroo on speed dial, and retreats to the pub with the male dogs!

Well , that us todays ramble for you! I am sat typing this in my little make shift office in the corner of the frog studio. I have my laptop ,  note pads , colour gel pens , stickers , cookies, apples , milk and pillows! I do love when I get to go to work with him! #takeyoursubtoworkday

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

P.S – i have decided to man a stealth mission to make the Boss man moan and groan from under the mixing desk, wish me luck! 😉

 

 

 

 

 
 
30 days of D/s, bdsm, Loving BDSM, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

All 'Good things' come to an end.

So the topic up for debate today Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s is when a D/s realstionship ends and how would deal with it. Now I have been with maîtriser for 2 1/2 years, but before that I was with a guy from the age of 17 till just before maîtriser. That was a D/s relationship , but it was not a good or healthy one , for either of us.  I don’t talk openly about it , as it was such a painful things to talk about and in the end it was pretty horrific. But with maîtriser sat with me , holding my hand, I’m going kind of break my silence on it, in the hope that if even one person takes something away from it and it helps them then it will have been worth a few tears and the time it takes to write it down.

I really don’t know where the flip to start . I met my ex when he was 24 and I was 17. He was a in a passion of power (well sort of , I was a 17-year-old college student , so pretty much everyone was), and due to this we had to kind of keep quiet about dating for a couple of years. I guess I should have seen that as a warning light, but hell I was 17 and thought I was in love. We spent the first few years of being together , breaking up and making up, only to break up again. Now I am and always have been very open about the fact I’m bi and when we broke I dated women (love you Kitten!) but when we were back together, the was always the pressure to bring one of my Gf in to the bedroom as well. Which I will openly admit I liked , but he got jealous and shitty if the attention was not on him. Any how when I was about 19 we started to add in the D/s side to things. I had been hang out on the fetish scene and he would come along when home on leave. I think adding the D/s side to us was I n retrospect a really stupid thing for me to allow. It opened up a side of him that was frightening and very dark. But I wa in love and young , and me being me I was to shy and insecure to stand up and say I was unhappy.

Moving forward 6 years or so and things started to go wrong for me on a personal and for us as a couple. I had a sort of break down from working in a job that I worked 7 days a week 13 hours a day. I had stress in my family , my health was suffering and I was homesick. (I was working in paris.). He had become a bully, aggressive and verbally. but I stuck with him , cos I loved him and anyway who would want me any way. Now he was serving in the mideast , and I am pretty sure most people would not of handled seeing what he did and he may very well of had PTSD, but that does not excuse his behaviour, it only serves to explain it. I was bitterly unhappy, I was frightened of him , and with the constant verbal abuse , I felt like I deserved to be treated that way. The D/s side of things had become intense and demanding , but the was never any ‘Aftercare ‘ .  We went on to get married in 2011 and he left the forces in the may of the next year.

But not having the discipline or focuses of a fast-moving job, he started drinking and taking drugs. things at home were awful . he had started to become violent and was using aggression and verbal abuse to get what he wanted in the bedroom. I had been made to feel so vile about myself and hate myself so badly that I just stayed, cos I loved him and cos no one would ever want me, right?

The beatings got worse, the bullying got worse and I hit rock bottom. Then the biggest blow ever came, he had been cheating on me and had got some woman pregnant. He actually had the nerve to step to me and say ‘ I need money to make this go away’. Well something inside me snapped and I lost the plot, hit him and demanded he got out of my house. Well I’m not a little thing, I’m ft 9 and I can handle myself (I used to do door work and I spare and do kick boxing) , but at ft 4 and weigh a lot more than me , he fought back , beat he crap out of me , dragged me to the bed room , raped me and choked me to the point of blacking out. I’m not 100{df7bb8344c8fbc08004428db04482721bad042a20adaf6cb6f45d2148c3c353a} sure what happened after that , things are hazy . what I do know is that I felt so dirty , used and guilty for letting this happen. the shame I had brought on my family and the fact that I had let them down , again was just too much to deal with, so I took 3 weeks of all my meds, some sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka, downed them all and lay down and waited for it to all end!

Well I fucked that right up, forgetting I had friends who are awesome (love you kitten, babe and Sir Beasty) . Yup I spent a couple of months in hospital getting better and I’m still In therapy . But my friends hugged me so tight that I manged to put myself back together. It has taken everything I have in me to get through all of this, I still have problems and I am very much a work in progress, but I got through it , and have found something so much better and worthwhile.

So what I guess I’m trying to say is , that love should not hurt , unless you ask for that pain. love is not bullying , or black mail or threats. love is respect, trust and care. Even if you are a 24/7 tpe , you have the right to feel safe and loved , and to live without fear. If you  ever find yourself in this portion, leave , talk to someone or scream for help. but above all else it is not your fault,  you have nothing to be ashamed of and no matter what you life is worth so much than you know, so don’t give up! If  can get through this , so can you!

Love, light and hugs,

Pixie x x x x