From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social, Uncategorized

Day 20 of the Submissive's Advent Calendar, by submissive guide – Christmas Cookies.

So how are we all today ? Been busy? Over worked? well I’m sending you all lots of love and hugs! Today has been an epic good day for me. I have Babe home and my friend Emit is here for the Holidays!

So today’s activates focus was Christmas Cookies, or focusing on the smaller picture and Christmas traditions. Not the Big and Clever christmas traditions. It was time for us to hull up in the kitchen and bake Cookies . Well that was the first activity , get all the stuff you need to make a batch of your favorite , none fancy pants cookies. The second was to use store-bought cookie dough and cookies , warm them up and sit bake and enjoy! We had extra time , all us girls and Emit fancied a spot of baking and well it was cold out so we did the first activatiy !

So we actually spent half and hour all together tiding and clean the kitchen. We got the puppy play pen out and tuck the babies behind it in their snuggle pods. Then Babe made a pot of tea. we found the latest Guilty Feminist Podcast, and little bear went through the cupboard to see what Cookies we hand the ingredients to make. we went with my nana’s chocolate chip Cookies and Ginger farling. It was really nice to actually show and explain to little bear how to make them. I really love passing things on to someone who really loves what I’m showing them. As for the rest of us, well we sat around , caught up on what is going on in each others lives and just relaxed. No big fuse, no need to think of the bigger picture , just being with the people we love.

So that was our afternoon , look forward to seeing what tomorrow brings,

Hugs ,

Pixie x x x x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social, Uncategorized

Day 17 of the Submissive's advent calendar , by submissive guide – saying thank you.

So this time next week I will be getting ready for a massive family Christmas eve party. It is a family tradition that my daddy’s side of the family gather at my aunt’s house , eat drink and be merry. I used to love it, but since my nana passed away, I find it very hard. after the death of two of my dads sisters , it is almost to painful to go. they were the lynch pin in the family and without them are once close family has become fragmented. So I’m going , but it has left me feeling very strange.

Right enough whingeing on to today’s fun and games . the focus of today is saying thank you. It’s about think of who and what you are thankfully to have in your life , and saying thank you so they know how important they are and how much you appreciate them . the first activate was to take some time out and say a proper thank you to some one important in your life and tell them why they are so important to you. the second one was to make some home-made cards and use them to say thank you to people . I’m doing they first as I am feeling a little under the weather and I’m not sure I would give 100% to making card, wich is a shame as I love-making cards , and doing craft . especially with the girls., spread out on the kitchen table and a Podcast on . But the girls are with their blood family today, so I chose to do the first one.

As the girls are not here and cos I still feel poorly and low,  maîtriser sat a did this with me! (and I was allowed to have bat cat and poppins!) . I wrote a postcards for the girls , Aunty May, Uncle Fred, Emit, Big Steve and Sir Beasty. I also wrote down why I am thankful for maîtriser, and this is what I wrote.

Maîtriser, I am thankful to have you in my life. You have helped me take back my life back and rebuild myself. you have taught me that it is ok to be myself, to love myself and to take pride in everything that I do. thank you for making see that I need to take care of myself, to be my best and to be able to care for others. you have shown me that I have a great deal of strength and courage from freely submitting to you and by the level of control I have also freely given you. I want to say thanking for my collar, my wedding ring, my home , the girls that you bought in to my life and for the beautiful twin baby girls. After every thing I did to hurt myself and to hurt the people around me, you forgave me and showed me how to forgive myself, you trusted myself and to belive in my self. Thank you for pushing me and making me work as hard as I can to be the best me I can be. thank you for providing me with everything I need to be myself, to feel loved, cared about and safe. But lastly thank you for letting me love you and belong to you!

well I am now off to say a very special thank you too maîtriser!


Pixie x x x x

From the heart, Poly life, social, Uncategorized

Day 6 of the Submissive's advent calendar, by Submissive guide – Awareness.

So today on the advent calendar the focus was on awareness of your submission. the was one simple question to ponder, When are you most aware of being owned / submissive. the was one activity for Owned subs and one for unowned subs. the activity for unowned subs was to focus on ways that they serve people. do you help friends and family out ? do you volunteer? what are you maple of and what are you willing to do? the activity for owned subs, was after thinking about when you feel most submissive , to then recall how it feel and what it looks .

sitting down and thinking about it when I feel my most submissive , the one thing that really reminds me I’m owned, is when I kneel at the side of the bed in the evening , and maître changes my day collar, to my leather kitten collar that I sleep in. in the morning , I kneel at the side of the bed and he changes it from my leather kitten collar , back to my silver chain collar. It is something we have done every day we have been together . He will come in from the hall , to find me and the girls if they are home kneeling at the side of the bed. we have are bedtime collar on are knees, eyes looking down. he will ask each of us in turn to sit up on are knees , holding are hair out the way , and will take off are day collar. We then pass are bedtime collar to him, and for the girls he will put it round their necks and buckles it. My bed time collar is ia little different to the girls as it is a locking collar. so he unlocks my purple padlock, puts it round my neck and then buckles and snaps the lock shut, and then orders me to hop in to bed!

it’s hard to describe how this makes me feel. It makes me feel loved , cherished and cared for . It makes me feel small , safe and proceed. It makes me proud to have earnt this collar. it also makes me feel very calm and peaceful in the evening, as it is a reminder that we are tucking in to bed , having are bedtime story and turning the lights out. In turn when it is changed in the morning it is kind of single that my day is starting , that I have my tasks and chores to do and that I need to work hard to make him proud.

the is also the times that it turns from a collar change in to something more. those are times when after he has changed my collar , and he weaves his fingers in my hair and hauls me to my feet. kissing me and leaving knowing who I belong to. he then chucks me on the bed and makes sure I don’t forget that my body belongs to him . and when his through doing that he cuddled me in to my safe place , spooning with my head resting on his shoulder , and reminds me who owns my soul!

So that was todays, lets see what the morning brings.


Pixie x x x x


From the heart, Letters from the heart., musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

letters from the heart….

At the weekend I celebrated one year of marriage to the most amazing man in the world. I don’t say this lightly , but I’m still here because of him. I meet him through Kitten when I was 18 . He was her Dom, but he soon became one of my best friends. He looked out for me when I went out on the fetish scene, guided me and offered advice . We remained friends even when a lot of people walked out of my life due to not being able to cope with me staying in an abusive relationship. are friendship never cross the line in to lovers till years later, although it turns out we both had crushes on each other. When I tried to take my life , and was stuck in hospital and it looked like I was going to be sectioned, he and his girls swooped in and took over. They helped me get well, worked on fixing my broken head and body and supported me till I was able to get back to work. He became my Dom, but the was no sex for the first few months. It was more of a way me have some control in my life and learning to trust people again. Then one night I got fed-up of being horny as hell and only having my hand as company , I crawled in to bed with him , and you can guess the rest!

It has been far from plan sailing. My mental and physical health still needed a lot of work. neither of us would use the L word for a long time. I have a very vivid memory of Sir Beasty joking that I was ‘his girlfriend ‘ and ‘where going to be together for ever’. This got my back up for some reason and I snapped back at him ‘his not mine to keep’ . I cried after that , and I was confused as hell why? Fast forward 6 months and thing were still going strong and I was content for the first time in my life. but things changed when I got a very drunk  phone call from the boss man when he was away for work, saying he loved and missed me. When he got home I was on the war path , and shouted at him ‘don’t you dare tell me ou love me if you don’t fucking mean it’ . little did I know that he would break down and say he meant ever word he had said and that he want an ever after, home and kids with me. after that things went from strength to strength for us and are little poly family.

then in late august 2016 I was in hospital with an infection, when he turned up with a goofy nerves look on his , normally cocky face. He then proceeded to get down on his knee and ask me to marry him. I was sweaty , messy and hooked up to drip and machines, but he managed to make me feel wanted and loved at my lowest point. So I said yes. He then announced he wanted to be married by Christmas! So as soon as I got out of hospital it was wedding prep and arranging at full steam. I’m really lucky to have had a lot of help and it was all sorted and planned with in 10 days. We married in Belfast on December the 6th last year.

Now I did not have all my friends there or much of my family . But it was an amazing day and I was blissfully happy . It was only this weekend past that this email came to light. He sent it to all are kinky friends who could not make it to the wedding. I read and re-read this and cried, so I thought I would share it with you all. (not meaning to be soppy or showy)

Dear friends,

It’s with a huge smile that I say thank you to you all. After 18 years of having my little mouse in my life , at first as a friend, then her protector , then lover , my sub , life partner and now wife, I can not imagine my life without her. You all know too well what she has been through with family, her health and what  did too her. I just want assure you all that from this point forward I’m going keep her safe , make her see how wonderful she is and know that not only I love her , but by so many others. It’s not going to be all smooth sailing, we all know she has health problems. But I will do the up most to keep her from harm. The girls, myself and my little h are so grateful that you are all part of are world . I want to thank my beautiful wife for teaching me the meaning of the words family, trust and courage, as they are the 3 things that she shows me ever minute of everyday. So I say raise your glasses to the Devine Mrs B! May she be in mine and your lives for many years to come.

Antoine Beaulac.

So that is why I love him so much and get all mushy when I talk about him!


Pixie x x x x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social, Uncategorized

Day 3 of the submissive guides advent calendar for submissives – The wise words.

So today on are submissive advent calendar Words of wisdom that we have been given, found , or stumbled upon in are journey through life or in submission. how they have inspired us and stayed with us over time. The were 2 activities to day. The first was to sit and spend 5 minutes thinking of all the wise words you have received over the years. thinking about how the effect you and why they have stuck with you. The second was to take these wise words and turn them in to a holly bundle Christmas decoration. As much as I wanted to make the holly bundles , we have had a really busy day . We all went to mass , went a bought the last bits of are Christmas decorations , had a Lego building marathon , homework and babies to care for, so we did the first.

It was actually a really awesome way to spend 15 minutes of quiet time. I got to sit with a cup of tea, reflecting on the past and how it has shaped me as a submissive. we as a family , well us girls chose to kind of build on the idea , by listing them and chatting about while we cooked dinner. what was amazing , well I think was how we all had listed advice that we had got from each other and how they had affect us!

some of the words of wisdom I listed.

  • breath , just breath. keep moving forward, take baby steps if you have to but just keep moving, and just breath.
  • What make you weird and different , is you greatest strength.
  • in submission I find power.
  • It’s ok to not be ok all of the time.
  • The is nothing wrong with a good girl having a naughty side.
  • Love should never hurt , unless you want it to.
  • Don’t let the bastards grind you down.
  • Never under-estimate the power of a coy smile and shy eyes.

Well that was todays, cant wait to see what tomorrow brings!


Pixie x x x x

musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Day 2 of the Submissive Guides Advent Calendar for Submissive's – The Token.

Today was about making a submissive token to help keep sight of your  submission in the busy holiday season. The to activities were making a physical token to wear or make a potpourri. The idea of the potpourri is to use the scent and to link it to your memories of your submission. now as much as the thought of this sang to me we could not do this one. Poor Kitten is really sensitive to scents and they can trigger her headaches. So instead we went for making a token.

I guess all of us already have signs of are submission that we wear all the time. We all have day collars and collars that we wear at different times. they don’t come off unless we have maîtres permission or it is a medical emergency. I ardour my collar and it is something that when I am not with maîtres and the girls , I take great comfort in and kind of draw courage from. my Day collar was hand-made for me and is really just a simple necklace, but maîtres put it round my neck and he is the only person who will ever take it off. (well ok I take it off if I have to , but I was meaning in a sort of D/s way!) My other collars have tag that reads mouse and a Purple heart padlock.

Back to our activity shall we?! We all cleared the kitchen table off , Kitten got are beads and bits from the work room, and we set about creating! we kind of all decided to make bracelets or anklets. Very simple , we chose a few beads , threaded them on cord and then notated them in to place. It was a great way to spend an hour or two. I had a chance to relax and unwind, which was something I really needed. So we are now wearing them and loving them. So we are now champing at the bit to see what tomorrow brings!


Pixie x x x x


Diary, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social, Uncategorized

Day 1 of the submissive guide's Submissive advent calendar .

At the end of October Maîtriser bought the Submissive guide’s Submissive advent Calendar , for me and the girls to do in the run up to Christmas. As you know we are big on talking and sitting down and doing things together, so he thought this would be a fun idea. He also knew that for all of the run up to Christmas can be stressful with work, family and home life going a little crazy . It’s really hard for Babe as it is the first Christmas after the death of her sister. So when we downloaded it and had a look through, well wow! It looks great, is thoughtfully written, with a great mix of activities.

So today being the 1st  of December , it was are first day for us to enjoy the activities that were set for today. The theme was about Waiting . The first involved finding a line from a poem about submission and take 2 lines and turning them in to a mantra. The other was about reflecting back on your year, seeing what happened and what you did and didn’t do. then picking out one thing I wished I had done or been and using that as aspiration. I picked to look back and reflect on my year, as on sunday I will have been married for a whole year!

The last year has been nothing sort of Amazing and Epic. I have got married, Got pregnant with twins, had said twins , gained my masters (my second, not that I’m bragging at all) and spent a couple of months in the states. But the have been lows too. My Godmother passed away, my fathers health has declined and my mother was diagnosed with cancer. My health for the best part has been stable , put I did have to spend a few weeks in hospital. maîtriser and I have changed things in are dimaic. We are now using consensual none consent , I am now a comfered little and he has become much stricter on rules and protocol. I’ve also moved from working full-time to working part-time and being a house wife. I am now a lot happier , more secure and feel like I’m where I needed to be! the one thing I wish I had been better at holding my temper. I have a very Irish temper, and at times I can me real nasty to people. So my thing I want to get better at and work on for the next year is holding my temper and not grumping at people so much!

Well that was today , I wonder what tomorrow will bring!


Pixie x x x x


bdsm, From the heart, Kink of the week, musings of pixie heart., social, Uncategorized

Zombie flicks.

Give me a good Horror fiction book and I can lose myself in it for days and days. But ask me to sit through a horror film and I will run a mile, I hate them with a passion. Ok so not all horror films I love the classic 50s and 60s B-films and bad vampire films. But anything like I.T or Poltergeist, nope can’t watch them, or I will be sleeping with the lights on for a month! The middle ground for me seems to be really good Zombie films, like 28 days later and world war Z. Sure they still freak me out, but I can watch them if I can hide my face in maîtriser shoulder at the really scary bits.
One of the things I love doing for date night with maîtriser is to watch a zombie flick at home. We make popcorns (coconut and brown sugar for me and bacon and chillie for him), dirty milk shakes, turn the lights down low and snuggle on the sofa. After about 10 mins of the blood and gore starting I’ll be laying down with my head maîtriser lap and he will lazily stroke my hair. Then the comes the scene that makes me jump and I turn my head in to his groan to hide my eyes from offending gore. It’s then I feel that he is hard…
I will turn my head and look up at him, eyes wide and I always get a cocky grin, a raised eyebrow and ‘well what do expect if you put your head that close to it and wriggle about?’. I normally try to look shocked or to pout, but they always seems to fail or last 2 mins before I get the giggles. You then seem to think that I’m being a minx (I still refute this!) and that I need to be tickled, but I’ve got good at wriggling out of the way over the years. I always end up in a giggling heap on the floor at your feet , where I love being and belong.
It Always makes me want to misbehave or play with my favourite toy, so I slowly make my way between your outstretched legs, bring myself to a kneeling position. I take the hair band on my wrist and tie my hair back in a high pony tail, not taking my eyes of your face. You raise that eyebrow again, while my hands reach for your belt buckle . ‘ Mouse , what are you doing ?’
‘nothing’ I reply trying to sound coy and innocent, but sounding way to excited , having finally got the buckle undone. I start to work on the button of your fly and start to pull the zip down. You lick your lips looking a lot less cocky than a few minutes ago. ‘Did I say you could touch me?’’ you growl , as slide the zip all the way down and start tugging down your jeans and boxers at the same time.
‘No, but I’m still doing this!’ I say, flashing my own cocky grin and teasing wink. Squeaking with delight when you lift your butt off the sofa, making the job of getting you cloths off so much easier . But you have come alive now as well. your hand goes round my throat, pulling me up to kiss your waiting lips. Your hands go to my t-shirt pulling it up roughly over my head with my bra, leaving me bear chested. Then your hand takes hold of my pony tail and you push my face down to your groan, as if to remind me who is in charge, as if the is ever any doubt.
Taking a deep breath I run my hands up , then back down your thighs , I blow cross your hard cock . then lick base to the tip and back down to your balls, and repeat a few times . Then I suck your balls in to my mouth, slowly and soft, then hard. The I rap my hand round the base of your cock, and gentle , but firmly pump it a few times . Sitting back on my hunches a little I again blow across the head , cos I know how much you like that. Then I open my mouth , taking the tip of your cock in to my mouth and take as much of you in my mouth as I can. Slowly sucking as I move back towards the tip again. You allow this for a few minutes, but then your hand is wrapped round my pony tail and your back in total control. You are guiding, pushing and pulling. You know how far I can take you down my throat , you get to point where I am just about to gag, but not quit , but I still panic a little and tense a little. That seems one of your favourite parts. Your groans and the way you will bark one word commands. ‘hands’ or ‘balls’ or ‘harder’, I know what you mean, and I get a trill that you have so much control with such let verbal communication.
When I hear and notice your breathing change, this is when I get dragged up on to the sofa. my skirt is up over my back and my panties are round my knees. (hell, they normally wrapped off me but…). your hand pulls my butt up and the other pushes my head down . The is sometimes the growl of ‘wide’ or ‘open’. But sometimes, the best times, the is just you and your hard shaft, ball deep inside me. It’s never slow and soft. It hard , fast and primal. I guess that is what I get for teasing and trying to take control. Or is it my subcases make sure I get what I need.
After a few minutes of fucking me like this, your start to lose your fight. That’s when I hear ‘rub your clit mouse’ . It only ever takes me a few mins to get to the point of needing to cum , and trust me I am fucking begging . you push my face down harder, you thrust hard and almost screaming in at my, you utter the one word that is my undoing. ‘NOW’ And I cum, scream your name and you cum screaming my name!
After we come down off the ceiling, calm is breathing and somehow untangle are limbs. Once we are sitting up right, trying to find are cloths and dress again. We both look to the T.V screen to see that the end titles are playing, and we have no idea what happened. I guess that’s why zombie films don’t hold much fear for me, cos I never really see the whole film!

So this was meant to be a tad more Halloween themed , but well I kind end up on a date night , am I forgiven?!?!

Pixie x x x x

Kink of the week

kink of the week

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Question time., social, Uncategorized

Question time with the girls …. and Candysnatch Reviews.

So up this week on are little question time is the one and only Candysnatch Reviews.. A Sex toy reviewer, who is epic in her body positive stance , blogger, sexy vixen , who little bear keeps saying she wants to be like her! I highly recommend poping over to her site or following her on twitter @Candysnatchrewviews. so here we are and hope you enjoy!

Question time with the girls…. And Candy snatch review.
1. Sub, Dom, Switch, Discus? (Babe) I personally am a switch. I’m very happy playing on either side of this fence but in the last few years I’ve found myself leaning slightly towards a submissive persuasion. Definitely falling into a bratty little role more and more. That said I love to play Goddess and be worshipped. I guess I’m spoilt and just want the best of both.
2. Do you have any favourite kinks and if so what are they? (Kitten) oh god I have so many lol! I love to be restrained that’s probably my favourite kink. I love sex in public, the thrill of the risk drives me crazy. I love a bit of role play too. It’s great to be able to just go crazy in a scene and be something or someone you’re not. Pure fantasy play.
3. If you could visit any place, where would it be and why? (mouse) Erm, I’ve always wanted to visit Italy. It’s not somewhere I’ve been yet but I’d love to visit Rome and see all the art and architecture. Despite not being at all religious I’d love to see The Vatican. Fuck knows why lol.
4. What is the best burger in the world and why? (little bear) I’m actually a vegetarian lol. So this is quite a hard one for me. But there’s a 50s style diner where I live called The Hot Rod Diner and they make a bloody amazing veggie stacked burger. I have it with sweet potato fries and a raspberry milkshake.
5. Who has been the biggest influence in your life and why? (All) oh this is a hard one. I’d go with my former manager. She taught me how to be a strong manager and the importance of consistency and reliability. Someone recently told me I remind them of her before they knew I worked for her and it was a huge compliment. Other wise my two best friends. One male… one female and they influence almost everything I do. I’d be lost without them.
6. What are the first 5 things you do in the morning? (little bear) ok so without doubt first thing I do is check my phone and answer emails before I’ve even left the bed. I work with an American company as a writer and so often wake up to time difference emails. Second I spend some time cuddling my dogs who go mental as soon as I’m up and about. Thirdly straight into the bathroom to wash and brush up. Fourth would be dressed/hair/makeup my vanity knows no bounds and I always have a full face of make up even for work. Fifth would be get my kids up before I leave for work and spend a very brief amount of time checking what they need for the day. Then out the door!
7. What is your favourite room in your house and why? (Mouse) my bedroom. I recently decorated it and I spent ages picking everything out so it’s finally the room of my dreams. A pretty little 50s style boudoir full of lingerie and pin up girls. It’s my favourite place in the world.
8. What does your working week look like? (Kitten) My working week is busy busy busy. Outside of running my site I’m second chef in a busy care home. 4 days a week I’m up at 5 and out the door by half 6. I spend 8 hours running around my kitchen like a thing possessed and then come home by 3 ready to greet my girls home and be mum.  Around my 4 chefing days I also schedule 2 full days for the blog and reviewing and regularly fit freelancing in after kitchen shifts. It’s not unusual for me to work 12 hour days and sometimes 10 days on a run.
9. Do you like to cook and what type of food do you like? (Babe) Given my occupation I obviously cook loads. My favourite aspect is baking and when I get a rare day off I’m often found baking. Particularly at Christmas when I bake for family and friends too.
10. If you could have a super power, what would it be and why? I would have to say I’d love the power to talk to animals just so I could talk to my dogs. Hahaha I talk to them anyway but it would be lovely to know what they’re thinking.
Silly Questions from little bear.
What is the best breakfast cereal in the world? Crunchy nut cornflakes!
Where in the world would you live if you could live anywhere and why? Somewhere hot and beautiful. I was recently seriously tempted to move to Majorca! I’d love to be able to walk on white sands on my days off.
Leather, Latex, or silk? Latex! I love Latex so much the feeling is incredible.
Castle, palace, or mansion? Palace. I’m far too much of a princess for either of the others.
What is your favourite colour? PINK! Every day of the week.


Pixie x x x x


Letters from the heart., musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social, Uncategorized

Getting social!

Good evening Kinkies!

Just a little Pixie up-date! I now have a Fetlife account! I can be found here – Pixie Heart Blog. Still getting used to it but , doing ok-ish! So Come be my friend!

I’m also on twitter –

Also on facebook –

So come find me and be social with me!


Pixie x x x x

Ps – got a whish list too!