I’m not entirely sure pixie will thank me for posting this, but I felt the world needed to read this and have this in it! it’s heartbreakingly beautiful, full of a very pure and simply love, and proves how worried pixie was on Saturday night. I’m not going to go in to what is wrong with pixie, why she is in the hospital, what brought this on or what made it a lot worse. that’s not my place , but she is on the mend now and that is what maters the most.
Dearest darlings, Connie, Evie, and Hunter.
I am sat writing this letter to you in hospital, praying with every fiber of my being that you have to read this when you are old and grey. But knowing that it is more likely that you will be reading it when your too young to understand its meaning. I know you will forgive me for not being strong enough to hold on and see you reach the dizzying heights that I know you are going to reach. I’m writing this because I want you to know some things that I can’t tell you as babies, but you need to know.
The first thing is the simplest thing I can tell you, yet the most n thing I have to tell you all. I love you, I always have, and always will. I don’t have to be with you, to know that the is nothing in this world that will or could stop me from loving you. You have so many people around you who love you, but apart from your daddy, nobody loves you as much as I do. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you, but I do. It will never die and will be with you always.
Now to the man you call ‘Daddy’. He is the most wonderful man to of ever walked the earth. He is strong, caring, loving, sweet, funny, and probably a little crazy. He is the love of my life, my best friend, guide, partner in crime and protector. He came in to my life when I was 19 years old, but it was years before I was brave enough to admit I loved him. He helped my fight when I had given up on myself, refusing to fight my demons for me. No, he did something far more important, he stood by my side, while I battled them myself and held my hand when I needed him to. He taught me what ‘home’, ‘safe’, ‘self-respect’ and ‘belief’ mean. Things I have made him promise you will always know. But the reason I adore him some much, is that he loved me, with scares, broken bits and bruised, even when I couldn’t.
Now to things I want, you to know and you will need to have a good life. You are you, always be yourself, for yourself. No two people are the same, you are all unique, and equal. Take pride in everything you do but be humble in everything you do. Love freely, fiercely and with your heart and soul. Cry when you need to, scream when you need to, break when you have to, and bend when you can. Do not judge others, but never allow yourself to be judge. Be respectful of all people, but expect that respect in return, and never let anyone treat in a manner that makes you ashamed of who you are. Stand up for what you believe in, fight each other’s corner, and use your voices for good. Stand up for those who need you to but know when you need to ask for help. Be kind, gentle and generous. Be strong, brave, and fierce. Never raise a hand in anger, irritation, or frustration. Never raise your voice to talk over others, raise your argument. Above all know you are the closets thing to perfect that I have ever seen.
I’m so sorry I had to leave my darlings, but I had too. I could not stay forever, however much I wanted too. You are my heart and my loves, always and forever.
All my love,