broken brained, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart

It’s just how we role around here!

It’s just how we roll around here!

I’ve been sat doing a lot of thinking while I’ve been packing to go away on a business trip with a kitten. But I don’t think we’re normal in this family, and I don’t just mean odd, I mean bat crap crazy and stranger than a jumper in July.

What bought this sudden realization to me? A conversation twitter about how I had pack 4 pairs of unicorn socks and 12 pairs of panties for a 2-night trip! But then I also have pack 20 collars, 3 stuffies and a massive tube of lube. I know I’m not normal, and I’m fine about, no really.

I’ve never been what you call ”normal” and from an early age I was labelled ”special”. As a little kid I thought that was a great thing to be, but as I got older I found out that ’special ’ is not such a great thing to be. I was, in fact, a very scornful thing and meant that you were different. It relegated you to the same place as black sheep, funny uncles and those sent to the sisters of mercy.

As I got older it got changed from special, to special needs and I was know to be challenging. Now I should say that my special needs, were nothing more than being dyslexic and struggling to learn my 3rd alphabet. The challenging part was a form of ADD and the fact I was from a home with 2 abusive parents. But I was seen as the problem and got told to stop making excuses and buckle down. But I simply could not do it, being normal hurt, like I was being squashed into a mould that was too small. It had round edges and I had sharp, jagged points. It led to me acting out, getting kicked out of schools and very nearly getting sent to a youth offenders place.

Luckily my nana and my priest (I know right!) saw that I was different in a good way. My Nana and father Michael went in and batted for me, somehow managing to get me one final chance. I got sent a PRU and got help and guidance. I learnt to embrace my quirks, funny habits and being different. I learned that yes I am strange, odd and special, but that can be good and beautiful things.

So fast forward to today, and sure I’m still that odd, different and quirky girl. But I’m doing good. I am succeeding, living a happy and stable life. Sure I could clean for Ireland, I freak out if I have to sit by a bin and have a break down if bird flys over my head. But every day I get up, I know I make people happy, make them smile and make their lives a little bit better. Maister always says I’m his special girl, and that makes me so happy and proud, and I’m ok with that!


Me and my kinks


Well this is sort of homework set by the Frenchman, cos I have nothing much to do and if I get left to my own devices, well that’s when I get in to trouble! When I say trouble, I really mean that I have a naughty habit of sitting and listening to the voice in my head, when it tells me I’m stupid or not good enough for maîtriser. (ok does that make me sound like a fruit loop or what?!) So, he has asked me to sit down, think and write a list of my kinks, so here goes….

Men – Well yes, I like men, must do I married one! Lol. But I do have a ‘type’, that I always go for. Older and Dom, again you would never have guessed, right! My Frenchman is 53 and every inch a Dom. But I also love ‘REAL’ men, in fact I avoid the type that take longer to get ready than me for a night out.  Tattoos, beards, and muscles, that could throw you over their shoulder and march off to the bedroom with you.  Clever, good with words and their hands, and funny. But they must make me feel safe, loved and desired too! Oh, and kinky as hell too, please!

Women – Again, you would never have guessed, right? But again, I have a type or types that I go for. Either – Dom, Self-confident, Commanding and Lady like. or – Sub, obedient, soft, and ladylike. Both with curves. long hair, nice eyes, and gentle smiles. Also, I LOVE tattoos and piercings!

D/s – Again, like really?! Maîtriser says I am a natural submissive. I hate being in charge, always have. I love being a housewife, and taking care of the boss man and the girls is something I take great pride in. Having my rules, discipline and punishments makes me feel whole, loved and safe. Don’t get me wrong I will bloody well stand up for myself and I have a very feisty Irish side too me, but maîtres seem to tame that, with his own blend of strict Dom and loving husband. (aww, I love saying that.) I don’t do humiliation, being spoken down to or being micro managed either, I have a brain and very much like being pushed to use it!

Pain – hmmm, this one is a Biggy for me. I kind of brake pain in to 3 main types. The ones I hate like tooth ache, female pains, and paddles (I bloody hate them!). The type that hurts, but you know it is doing you good like, yoga, Pilates, and the weight section of my personal training. Then you have the nice pain, the pain I get a high off and that makes me fucking horny. I guess I’m what a lot of would call a ‘Pain Slut’. Personally, I prefer the term pain enthusiast! But it has taken a lot for me to trust someone enough to open and to let them inflect pain on me. that is why I feel so blessed to have maîtres and the girls in my life. (puke I know, sorry!)

Bondage – Again for me, it has taken a lot to allow someone to see this side of me and for to trust them to do this to me. But now, I love it! Really love silk ropes, cuffs, and chains. I’m in to bondage tape or rope that is going to leave marks or irritate my skin. I don’t like anything that is to constrictive or breath play, but that is due to my anxiety disorder, not because I think it’s odd, it’s just not something I want to try.

Being Flogged, cropped or spanked – Ahh , nice pain! I just love everything about this. Being bent over masteries knee and getting a good spanking before sex, huge turn on! Riding crops on my nipples or my clit are delicious! Heaven to me is being tied to a cross, preferably with an audience and maîtres or one of the mistresses I’m allowed to sub to, just going at me with a flogger, it’s lush! It also happens to be the number one reason that I come without punishment, Oppsss my bad!

Being watched – I have a massive Exhibitionist streak! Whether it is being watched while maîtres fucks me, while I and the girls play together or while I playing with myself, I just really get off on knowing that someone is watching. Maîtres has a huge Voyeuristic streak, his idea of heaven is sitting in a chair at the side of the room, telling a Switch male what to do and when to do it to his girls, and me being such an exhibitionist, well we kind of feed of each other! It’s one of our favourite things to do!

PDA and Risky sex – Ok so this is a little bit of my exhibitionist side showing through again, but its more idea of getting court I get a kick out of. This ranges from holding hands, kissing, groping, hand jobs, to finding a quiet corner in which to fuck. Part of it is knowing that I have given maîtres the right to do pretty much what he wants to me when he wants, part is my love of being watched and part is the fact that I know he loves it when I want to misbehave in public! If I get horny when we are out, I have a sign, to tell maîtres that I need a little relief. so, if I put my hand flat on his tummy, he will find a quiet spot and takes care of his little mouse!

Leather – I have always loved the smell and feel of real leather. most of my collars and cuffs made from soft calf’s leather, I love how it feels on my skin, the way it moves and the noise that it makes when master pulls my cuffs tight!

Role play – So I have always loved make believe, from an early age, but in my teens, it became more than games, I realised I got a sexual thrill from it.  So, it came as no big surprise when I start to bringing role play in to the bedroom. Current favourites are naughty school girl, secretary getting punished by her boss in an office or being seduced by a man in uniform. I also love being a naughty fairy  or one of the female members of the suicide squad, with the girls , but we always get stroppy over who gets to be  harlie quin!

Corsets – I love the way that the female form looks in them and I love the way I look in them. They make me feel sexy, feminine and controlled! I have quit a big collection of them at home, but having lost a fair bit of weight over the last 2 years, most no longer fit. I really should find a good home for them, but it’s kind of hard to let them go!

Collars – I simply love, love love my collars! I have 3 types of collars. I have my everyday collar, that is a silver chain, with 2 small o rings joined together. Then I have my bedroom or sleep collars, they are simple ribbon collars in either pink or purple. Then I have my club or play collars, these are slightly fancy ones made of leather, in pink or purple and most of them have small studs or tiny spikes on them. (so, people get the picture that, yes, I am a sub, but no one touches me without asking me first or maîtres). I also have tags for my collars made of silver, with mouse on them! Come to think of it I have a lot of leather and chain leads too! The only person who can take my collar of or changed my collar is maîtres (or me in a medical emergency!)

Other ones, In brief ….

Biting or being bitten – Huge turn on, makes me very submissive and if Maîtriser bites my neck, well it means bend over, nickers down and that I’m going to get fucked, good, and hard!.

Rough Sex – throw me on the bed, man handle me and just take what you want.

Serving – Being told what to do and pleasing maîtres every whim. Just heaven!

Giving oral sex – Something that I take great pride in, love doing and that makes me horny!

Little me – Something that we are exploring as a family. It turns out I really like maîtres looking after me, being treated like a girl, and cuddling! (shocking, to everyone who really knows me, as I’m a right tomboy!)

Hands – People using their hands on me or me using my hands on them, I just melt! I am the queen of hand jobs! Also, the is something very sexy about a rough, strong pair of skilled hands!

Group sex / play – The more the merrier!

Sense depravation – Blindfold, gag, headphones and tied up, is so thrilling!

Anal sex – Just love it!

Toys – Well, come on every sub should have a toy box, right?

Porn – Delicious and inspiring!

Erotica – Love a good bed time story! 😉

Well that’s most of them, but a few I’ll keep to myself, for now!

Love and Hugs,