broken brained, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart

It’s just how we role around here!

It’s just how we roll around here!

I’ve been sat doing a lot of thinking while I’ve been packing to go away on a business trip with a kitten. But I don’t think we’re normal in this family, and I don’t just mean odd, I mean bat crap crazy and stranger than a jumper in July.

What bought this sudden realization to me? A conversation twitter about how I had pack 4 pairs of unicorn socks and 12 pairs of panties for a 2-night trip! But then I also have pack 20 collars, 3 stuffies and a massive tube of lube. I know I’m not normal, and I’m fine about, no really.

I’ve never been what you call ”normal” and from an early age I was labelled ”special”. As a little kid I thought that was a great thing to be, but as I got older I found out that ’special ’ is not such a great thing to be. I was, in fact, a very scornful thing and meant that you were different. It relegated you to the same place as black sheep, funny uncles and those sent to the sisters of mercy.

As I got older it got changed from special, to special needs and I was know to be challenging. Now I should say that my special needs, were nothing more than being dyslexic and struggling to learn my 3rd alphabet. The challenging part was a form of ADD and the fact I was from a home with 2 abusive parents. But I was seen as the problem and got told to stop making excuses and buckle down. But I simply could not do it, being normal hurt, like I was being squashed into a mould that was too small. It had round edges and I had sharp, jagged points. It led to me acting out, getting kicked out of schools and very nearly getting sent to a youth offenders place.

Luckily my nana and my priest (I know right!) saw that I was different in a good way. My Nana and father Michael went in and batted for me, somehow managing to get me one final chance. I got sent a PRU and got help and guidance. I learnt to embrace my quirks, funny habits and being different. I learned that yes I am strange, odd and special, but that can be good and beautiful things.

So fast forward to today, and sure I’m still that odd, different and quirky girl. But I’m doing good. I am succeeding, living a happy and stable life. Sure I could clean for Ireland, I freak out if I have to sit by a bin and have a break down if bird flys over my head. But every day I get up, I know I make people happy, make them smile and make their lives a little bit better. Maister always says I’m his special girl, and that makes me so happy and proud, and I’m ok with that!

Question time

Question time with the girls….. and Little Rara.

Up this week is the lovely human that is Little Rara. Submissive, party and event host, educatior and fabulouse human . Enjoy!

1) Describe your normal and kinky self in 5 words (5 for each)
a. Normal self – cheerful, energetic, strong, loving, extrovert
b. Kinky self – dynamo, masochist, social, submissive, princess

2) What type of submissive are you?
a. I consider myself a Warrior Princess Submissive. The term Warrior Princess Submissive was coined by Michael Makai. He describes this submissive as the wicked-smart, strong-willed, uber-competent, ultra-competitive, synergistic, switchy, crusader. She’s no one’s doormat, never a victim. She is a kick-ass submissive for the 21st century. Think: Xena, the Warrior Princess, kneeling at the feet of Hercules.”

3) Tell us more about you home dungeon? (Daddy can we do this in the basement of are new house?)
a. My home dungeon has been a labor of love. It’s been operational for 18 months and has changed so much. We now have a St. Andrew’s Cross, spanking bench, stocks, hard points, massage table, vac cube and a Motor Bunny. We have an after care area set up in a different room to give people a place to come down after scenes. The next step is going to be painting the walls and adding art work.

4) What sort of events and parties do you run?
a. Currently, I run several different types of activities. I have two monthly munches that I run. One is co-ed and averages about 45 people each month. The second is Ladies only and after four months we are up to about 20 people attending. I am an administrator for two kinky chat groups. Again, one co-ed and one ladies only. I host BDSM play parties in my private dungeon. I co-host a Poly and Power Exchange Relationships discussion group. Finally, I offer education classes at my dungeon. It’s something I just recently added. I began with rope but have plans to offer more in 2019.

5) What advice would you give to anyone new to the BDSM scene?
a. Take it slow. You don’t have to do everything at once. And trust your instincts. Kink is just vanilla stuff with sprinkles. The rules of how you treat people are the same in or out of kink. If you wouldn’t let your vanilla boyfriend treat you that way, don’t let a Dom treat you that way.

6) What do you do for non kinky fun?
a. What’s that? Haha. But seriously, even my non kinky fun is done with my kinky friends. I am a huge fan of Marvel, Star Wars and Star Trek movies. I also love going to karaoke with my friends.

7) Kinky role models? Who and why?
a. I have so many different kinky role models. My friend Kim has taught me to constantly grow and learn in my kink journey. My friend Haley has taught me the beauty and joy of rope and she makes me want to push myself in rope. My friend Maribeth has taught me that while we may sometimes bend, we never break. My friend and most recent Dom, Dave taught me that I deserve the best and should settle for nothing less.
b. My girlfriend Lucy has taught me so much about myself and my ability to give and receive love. She was an unexpected gift and I will forever be grateful that she said yes to helping me with a birthday surprise last year

8) Who in your life inspires you the most and why?
a. My daughter inspires me every day. I want to show her that women are strong and that she can do anything and be anything she wants.
b. I am also inspired by all the women in my life who have given me the gift of their friendship. They help me be a better version of myself. A quick shout out to Missy, Dara, Megan who I consider family.

9) Where in the world do you most want to visit?
a. I so desperately want to visit Australia.

10) What kinky things have you got in the pipeline?
a. My main goal that I am focusing on is growing the educational side of my R&R Parties and Events. I’m in talks with people to offer classes on kinky photography, negations, after care, massage and rope suspension. I want to increase attendance at my Ladies Only Munch. And I want to work on getting the Poly and Power Exchange Relationships discussion group out there and see where it goes.
b. But I also have a lot of kinky fun planned including my annual Kickass Kinky Birthday party in September. This will be the third year that I am renting out a local public dungeon and inviting all my kinky friends to celebrate with me. In addition to a rope suspension scene and my birthday spanking scene, this year I plan on turning my butt into a birthday cake. My friend will attach candles to needles and put them in my butt. Then once lit my friends can all blow them out.

11) What type of food you like?
a. I could eat Chinese food every day and be totally happy. But I also love Italian, deli, and American.

12) Guilty pleasures?
a. Cheap, trashy reality television. I love The Bachelor and Bachelorette. I am addicted to Big Brother. I also love to listen to music from Disney Original Movies like High School Musical and Camp Rock.

LittleRara is a bisexual poly masochistic submissive Warrior Princess who is an active member in her local BDSM community. She runs R&R Parties and Events through which she puts on private BDSM play parties, hosts a monthly discussion group on Poly and Power Exchange Relationships, and offers educational classes on rope, negotiations, aftercare and more. Her kinks include rope suspension, impact and needles.
Want to learn more about LittleRara?
Follow her on FetLife at https://fetlife.com/users/3168132
Or Twitter at https://twitter.com/HisLittleRara

Or Tumblr at https://hislittlerara.tumblr.com

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart, Poly life, Uncategorized

Myth Busting – Poly and swingers’ addition.

 

So, I have a little bit of a bee in my bonnet of late about people judging me and my ‘poly ‘family’s life style choices. I think its more of a ‘oh well this is my experience of poly, so yours has to be the same’, sort of thing. But it has me thinking about the myths and bull squirt that surround the whole Poly / Swinger lifestyle. So, I put it out to the wonder that is kinky twitter and as always people jumped in to help! So, lets bust this myth in the bum, shall we?

“Polyamory and Swinging are the same thing.”- So I thought I would start with the sort of elephant in the room. Swinging and Polyamory are not the same thing. They have an awful lot of things in common, but also some aspects are very much not the same. If you look at it, the term means, then it sorts of bust the myth on its own. Polyamory is the ability to love more than one person at the same time. Swinging, is when either single or people in a committed relationship, are non-monogamous sexually. But there are a lot of grey areas and a lot of overlap. But I guess like all relationship and dynamic, they are both special and unique. They take a lot of trust and love to enter into and are not for everyone. There are those who say that swingers are out for sexual gratification and that all Poly people are in it for love and commitment, but again that is not true either. I personally know one swinger couple that have been together and had the same play partners for 15 years. What I personally hate is how both groups judge each other, it is just plain stupid. We cannot again try to get on and support each other and our lifestyle choices then, how the flip should other normal people begin to try and understand.

‘You will sleep with / fuck / play with anyone.’ – This is the thing I find really insulting. I personally am fussy about who I play with, as is Daddy and the girls. Thinking about everyone I know in the lifestyle, they are picky. My friend Amma, well she goes as far as running background checks on her partners. What I do know is that people in both worlds are very hot on protection, personal safety and consent, so that to me is a big Plus!

‘All they really do is cheat on their partners.’ – Palm forehead! I have been poly for 17 years and I can hand on heart say, that I have never cheated on any of my partners. I’ve been cheated on, by my ex, but he was a! $%£”^!. We as a poly family, tell each other who and when we play with others away from the family. We also have very clear guidelines on what cheating would be, basically anything we would not let the others do, without telling the rest of us. Lol we always talk, are open and honest. Maîtres says sometimes we talk things to death. All this boils’ down to, for us at least, is that there is no cheating if we all know what is going on, we are all happy with that and we don’t hide things from each other.

‘All swinger / poly is bi-sexual.’ – Again massively wrong! I am bi, but I would be bi no matter what, if it meant I was with just one person or many. Maîtres is poly, but he is not bi. If we play with another guy, then he will watch or sort of tag team. But I know a lot of poly groups that they both only find opposite sex partners attractive and they only have them as partners.

‘We hate monogamous people / want to convert them all.’ – This makes me angry as flip. It’s like saying all gay people are trying to convert all straight people. (Yes, I know some stupid people think that). I for one think if you are in a committed monogamous relationship, then wow! Like I would if you were in a committed poly. I think commitment is sexy AF! But thinking that just because someone is poly or swings means that they think everyone should be just plain dumb and rude.
‘We fancy everyone.’ – Oh the amount of times I’ve heard this! Its like saying that all women fancy all men. Its physically imposable to be attracted to everyone. Everyone has a ‘type’ and that still happens if your poly, swing, your bi, straight, or gay.

‘Everything we do is sexual.’ – Again, dah no! If we made everything sexual, I for one would be very board, get no work done and be homeless! Poly and swingers alike do normal things like cleaning the loo, cooking dinner, and paying the bills. Its not like a big shiny porn thing where the woman cleaning the bath ends up fucking the gardener. We are normal people too!

‘If your poly or a swinger, it’s never cheating.’ – Like hell its not! I know damned straight that if I was to fuck someone behind my husbands back or any of the girls then it is cheating. We, as do all Poly and swingers, have rules around about playing or fucking other people. Just because you have more than one partner does not mean that you are a cheater. My rules for other people are never do anything without the others knowing, always tell Maîtres where and what I am doing and never bring someone home without talking to the rest of the family. What I think this says about both communities is that we have the ability to trust and can communicate our feelings in a very grown up way.

‘We never get jealous.’ – Bull squirt again. Jealously is a very basic human feeling and all humans feel it at times. If you don’t, then you’re a bloody machine and lying about being human. I have 3 male partners and 3 female partners, and sometimes I get jealous about who is spending time with whom. One male partner is LDR and I get jealous about the women he might be seeing. I get jealous of Kitten seeing her ex. I even threatened to pee on Maîtres because his PA kept trying to be over friendly. But unlike normal people, if we get jealous we talk about it. See we are awfully grown up about things!

‘You don’t really love someone if you want to be with others.’ – Groan, Really!!! Well I love all my partners and I am committed to all of them. Hell, I would marry Kitten if I could. Love and life do not conform to stereotypes and normality is a myth in my mind!

‘All they do is have orgies.’ – As if! Dear Lord, not even orgies are what people think they are. I personally love when I get a little one on one time with a partner, its extra special. I would also like to point out a lot of the ‘orgies’ we have are just normal sex. People fart, stub toes, get cramp or sneeze like everyone else. We just do that with more people at once. Not all Poly people have more than one person at a time and a lot of swingers don’t like the whole swingers party scene. Its each to their own.

Well I hope that busts a few myths people!

Pixie x

From the heart

For @HisLittleRara

Today’s guest blog post is something a little different, in that it’s a collaboration between to people . Me and my wonderful daddy, Antoine Beaulac! he needs no introduction, so here it is

Do you ever have chats with your friends, that suddenly turn in a direction, that should be awkward, but they aren’t and just seem to naturally flow and become something very different? Something hot, sexy, and dirty as hell. That turn you into a wet, squirming mess in bed, begging two men to come fuck you and let them do god only knows what to you. Right that’s normal right? Ok, so I know that’s not “normal” but hell it’s fun when it does happen, well I thought I would share one of those times with you.
Maîtres: Little one are you sassing me and Alex? I don’t think you want to do that, do you or are trying to get punished? Hmmm, I think that might be the case. What do you think Alex?
Alex: I think someone wants a spanking and is seeing how hard she can push the Doms in the room. Lol
Maîtres: Is that right Miss Mouse? Well?
Mouse: Might be! Neither of you would do it though, it takes too much to get you to bite! FYI that is sassing you.
Maîtres: No shit Sherlock! I’m warning you Mouse, do not push me, or I will hand your punishment over to Alex, do you understand me?
Mouse: Like is that meant to be a threat? He would not know where to start! Sir is a big fluffy pussycat. Lol he would just give me lines or ban me from my stuffies.
Maîtres: Mouse! That is enough, or he gets control. Do not push me girl, do you hear me!
Mouse: You’re both big fluffy pussycats. Na nah na nah!
Alex: Someone is for it now! Lol.
Mouse: Nah ah! You’re both too fluffy and sweet and cute to know what to do to me!
Maîtres: Right that does it little one, Alex what shall we do with the little fool? Hmm?
Alex: So many choices…. Spanking…. Edging…. positions….
Maîtres: Needs to fit the crime brother. Such sass and back chatting. Needs to sting brother.
Alex: 20 on each with the hairbrush, to start. Then edging with hands on the bed for 20 mins. Sound good?
Maîtres: Clothes off little one, in humble on the bed and make sure the iPad is positioned so Alex can watch. Understand?
Mouse: Nope hiding! You won’t find me!
Alex: £20 she’s under her blankets or in the shower?! Lol
Maîtres: Open the camera….
Maîtres: See I found her under her blankets, didn’t I? smile for Alex.
*turns me round roughly to face the camera and starts to strip me of my clothes roughly. Pushes me on the bed so I’m kneeling with my bottom facing the camera. Legs open and showing my pussy to Alex.
Alex: Lol you called it right my friend and that is a very nice smile Mouse
Maîtres: So, what shall Mouse get as a punishment? Any ideas Alex?
Alex: Oh, the possibilities are endless, such sass needs a fitting punishment.
Maîtres: Shall we ask Mouse?
*tosses mouse her phone*
Alex: How about the hairbrush?? Then you eat her out till she is about to cum, then back off, over and over, till she’s crying and begging to cum. She must keep her hands on the bed the whole time!
Mouse: Nah ah! How is sassing you worth that level of punishment? Jeepers! Next you will tell me that Alex must watch!!!!
Maîtres: lol Mouse, you forget, I don’t allow you to negotiate your own punishments. Who is in charge here? I think Alex is right, but I don’t know if he wants to watch? What do you think my friend? How many strokes brother?
Alex: 25 on each should do it and edging 10 times should do it
Mouse: Hey! He doesn’t get to choose about my butt and the blinkin’ hairbrush!
*giggling and sticking tongue out at Maîtres and Alex *
Maîtres: You’re right Mouse, he doesn’t, but I do, and I have decided to ask Alex’s advice.
Alex: Just asking my friend, did she tell you she’s been calling you ‘The Frog?’
Maîtres: No! lol oh little one you’re in so much trouble now. Get in humble now, arse to the camera and show Alex how well you take your punishment for me.
*hairbrush in hands, one strike after another landing on my upturned butt. I’m counting and saying thank you, but reach for my phone*
Mouse: Please Maîtres, please I need you!!!!!
Alex: Does somebody need punishment again, do they little one? What’s the matter, too much for that bum? Lol yeah right.
Maîtres: ROFL! Dude! What’s wrong Miss Mousey? Too much? Or is it making you wet? Come on Princess.
Mouse: No shy! Not telling you, I’m going to hide again.
*Drops hairbrush, grabs hold of me before I can move, plunging a finger into a very wet pussy, making me whimper and hide face in hands.
Maîtres: Oh, look here, someone is horny from a spanking! Oh, dear Mouse, looks like I need to show you how to behave again now. Alex, what shall we try this time?
Alex: Tell us what you’re thinking right now?
Mouse: Nah ah! Not happening?
Maîtres: Oh, come now little one! Tell Maîtres what you’re thinking, and I might let it happen. Or shall we get Alex to guess? 5 more for each wrong answer?
Alex: Ha-ha! Fluffy bunnies? Unicorns and rainbows? McDonald’s?
Mouse: No silly head! Still not telling.
Maîtres: Mouse, you will use your words and tell me and Alex right this minute. Do you understand me?
Mouse: Yes Maîtres. I was thinking about Alex’s pierced nipples.
Alex: Just my nipples? Oh, or do you mean the work out thing we spoke about?
Mouse: Nah ah! Can’t say to shy!
Maîtres: Use those words baby girl!
*turns to stare at Maîtres, first time he has ever called me baby girl. Makes me nearly cum on the spot*
Mouse: Yes, and how they would feel on my back as you fucked me up the arse and how your hands would feel on my boobs and clit.
Maîtres: You want to fuck Alex little one? That’s all?
Alex: I think there is more! Blown away by this little gem though!
Mouse: I want Maîtres to watch, as you fuck me hard from behind, make me cum and for Kitten to go down on him, while he watches.
Maîtres: Well done baby girl. What else?
Alex: Fucking hard as steel here! Lol
Mouse: Nah ah! Can’t!
Alex: Come on little one, use those words? You want to make Maîtres and me, proud, don’t you? Use those words.
Mouse: I want to ride Maîtres cock and I want your cock in my arse, to feel your piercings on my back and I want to be fucked without mercy.
Maîtres: What a lovely idea that is! Good girl, keep going?
Alex: Fuck me! You’re such a dirty little thing, aren’t you?
Mouse: I want Alex’s tongue on my clit, Kittens on mine and I want to make her scream. I want you to tell them what to do to me and I want to be made to beg.
Maîtres: Do you think we should allow that Alex? Do you think my baby girl should be allowed to have some fun with me and you?
Alex: I think your girl would like an empty hotel room and you and me tag teaming her.
Maîtres: Brother I think you’re right! Little One would you like that? What would you like to do?
Mouse: Can’t say, shy and hiding!
Alex: Little one, I want 100 words of what you want to do in that hotel room, right here in messenger, right now.
Maîtres: Do it girl, right now!
Mouse: I want to meet you both at the door on my knees, I want you to put on my lead, to crawl to the bed. I want to be made to serve you both and made to beg. I want to be spanked, flogged, and punished. I want to ride both of your cocks and in the arse. I want to cum over and over again, then made to clean both your cocks. I want pain, I want to be made to submit and to serve.
Alex: Fuck! Good girl!
Maîtres: That’s a girl! So proud of you. Shall I move to edging her a little or should she be allowed to cum?
Alex: Edging! If I was there I would fuck that tight pussy and eat that clit, to the point of cumming and then back off. To keep doing that over and over, until it gets painful and then ruin her.
Maîtres: Shall we try and make that happen soon little one? Would you like that?
Mouse: Yes, please Maîtres, please! Promise!!
Alex: I think I need to look at flights for a long overdue visit, don’t you think Tony?
Maîtres: I think so my friend! She is squealing at the idea. Brother going to sign off for a while, I think a certain baby girl needs some attention!
*spend the next 2 hours sucking, fucking and everything in between*
Maîtres: Brother, she’s sleeping on my chest right now, but THANK YOU! Someone turned into a little hell kitten after that! Jesus, she’s not going to be able to walk in the morning!!!
Alex: Pleasure brother! I enjoyed it a lot, watching her was epic my friend!
Maîtres: We must sort that visit out lol. It’s also the first time she’s let me call her baby girl. Fuck man!
Alex. Defiantly my friend.
Maîtriser: Going to have to leave it here, for now, someone is sucking my cock, again!

Masturbation Monday, Poly life

Afternoon itch….

Afternoon itch….
Do you ever get to a point, say mid afternoon that you’re just plain fucking horny? Well I do, alarmingly often these days. Being pregnant has sent my libido into overdrive lately. I get to nap time and it hits me full force, the tiniest thing makes me horny, to the point I normally have to make a desperate plea Maîtres be allowed to play and cum. It starts as a slight throb of my clit; my pulse picks up a little. I get a hot flush spread through my body, creeping slowly upwards and outwards warming my cheeks, flushing my breast, and turning my nipples to rock hard burning little nubs. The throbbing of my clit gets stronger and stronger, to the point of hurting. My breathing hitches up, I start to shake and feel like I would cum if I sneezed. It leaves me dripping wet and I am having to change my panties 2 or 3 times a day.
Another thing that seems to have happened is that I have gone from extremely submissive, to even more submissive. Not in a bad way, well I don’t think so. In a wanting to serve Maîtres and my other Dominates and big. To be used to bring them pleasure, without any regard for my own wants or needs. I want to be used, fucked, and make them cum.
This is what happened yesterday. I had watched Steve mowing the lawns in just shorts, no top and sweating with the exertion. The throbbing started and was rapidly building, causing a cramping feeling in my tummy. All I wanted to do was sink to my knees and worship his thick cock with my mouth and make him cum, hoping he lets my swallow. The only drawback is I’m not allowed to play without asking Maîtres first. I got up out of my chair, grabbed my iPad, praying that he was online, that he was in a good mood and that I would be allowed to play. He was, he was happy, and he said to go play, please and cum, but only if I wrote about it afterward. Well, that sent a gash to my pussy and my panties were drenched.
Steve was back in the house by this time, and I was needing to submit, and he has a beautiful cock. I stripped my clothes off in record time, ran my fingers through my hair and checked myself in the mirror. Then I crept downstairs to the living room, dropped to my knees and crawled as quietly as I could to where Steve was, relaxing in the leather armchair. Getting to about 6 ft from where he was, I cleared my throat. Steve’s eyes shot open, and I think his jaw hit the ground and his cock got stretch marks with the speed it jumped to attention. I crawled up to him and between his legs, I could feel the damp heat of his sweat as I lay my head on his knees. Looking down at me, I got ‘what girl?’ nuzzling my cheek into his cock and peering slightly, I looked up through lowered lashes ‘please’. That was met with a nod of the head and I swung into action.
Moving to a squatting position, I push Steve up and into a standing position. Pulling his shorts down, letting his cock spring free, not breaking eye contact the whole while. I take his cock in my hands and give it a few slow pumps and kiss the head, licking the pre-cum off it. I know how Steve likes a girl to go down on him, I knew not to go too hard and fast at the start. To take my time, using slow, deli part movements. That he likes his ball massaged, a finger runs around his ass hole, but not in it. He loves a slight corkscrew movement, that he likes to go as far down your throat as he can, even when you gag because of the size of him.
It heats up the minute his hand finds its way into my hair, gripping tightly and taking over full control, as he blissfully fucks my mouth. He grabs my hands in his paw like grip, making sure I don’t ‘cheat ‘. I can feel my juices running down my thighs. I have tears streaming down my face, from the force he is now using to fuck my throat. I know I look like a greedy little slut and I don’t give a flying fuck. Harder, faster and the more turned on I feel myself getting, I swear I’m making puddles on the floor. Then Steve’s grip tightens, his breathing speeds up and his thrust becomes deeper. Then with a roar, he cums, sending his delicious, hot cum down my throat. Squirt after squirt, hot, sweet, and salty. I almost cum there on the spot.
But then Steve is pulling me, bending me at the waist over the arm of an armchair, kicking my feet apart. He shoves three fingers into my pussy, curving them so they roughly hit my g-spot, while his thumb stabs at my clit. His other hand holds my neck down, so I can’t see what is happening, just feel. Then in a commanding tone, I get told ‘Come girl, now, this second.’ Every contract, over and over as I cum, with a scream. It’s so intense that my eyes roll back in my head, and so total that I squirt so hard and so much that I feel it hitting the floor and my feet. If it had not been for his strong arm and the armchair, I would have been in a heap on the floor. I was shaking, sweating and not quite sure what was going on. It was only Steve stroking my back telling me I was a good girl, then I came back down to earth. Standing me up straight and showing his hand covered in my cum. Out of instinct I stuck his fingers into my mouth and licked them clean. Steve collapsed into the chair and we spent the next 15 minutes making out and coming back down to earth, which was almost as lovely as playing with his cock.
Sometimes I need to do things like this. They are not just acts of service and submission, but they are acts of bravery and empowerment. I knew what I needed, I went after it and got my reward. It takes a strong woman to know what she wants and an even stronger one to go after it. So what if I needed to crawl on my knees, ask a guy to let me suck his cock and to use me? I’m happy, loved, and safe. I have my right to live how I want, and that is as a proudly submissive woman, who is a little bad sass with it!

https://masturbationmonday.kaylalords.com/masturbation-monday-204/

bdsm, family update, Poly life, Uncategorized

Us.

Pixie has been nagging me to write for her for a long while. I say nagging, but it’s been more of a giggling prod in the chest, followed be begging and normally ending with pixie oh her knees and my cock in her mouth. Sorry as pixie would say over share. So today while my darling girl is laid up , pretty sick in hospital I thought I would take over her blog for a bit.

We as a family have of late had a lot of stuff to deal with, that is not anything to do with kinky, D/s or Poly . Working away, deaths of friends, Pixie health problems and bullies. We have also as a family, had to deal with some pretty small minded people, judging and being cactuses. (Again stealing pixie’s words) . leading a Poly life , that we don’t hide has never, is not or will it ever be easy or free from judgment. We all know and except that. What we don’t except is people making a judgement, think all polygamist relationships are the same, and without even asking us about are set up. It’s just rude and hurtful. We are open , not only to the possibility of new play partners, but to questions. So I thought. Would try and explain are take on things and are set up.

As any one who reads pixie’s blog will Know we identify as an Open Poly family, with a strong D/s Dynamic. We are also High protocol, with my girls having strict rules and high expectations of how they are to act. But above all we are all partners , with our own roles in the family and our on special bound to each other. We also are very committed to each other and live together. Choosing to share are lives and loves with each other.

So the part that we find people misunderstand the most is the Open Poly family part. So the ‘Open’ part, for us means that we are open to meeting and adding partners to are dynamic. Opposed to ‘closed’ to new partners. This does not however mean we play or fuck just anyone. Know we spend a long time getting to know new partners first. The ‘poly’ part refers to us being polyamorous. This does not mean we are always looking for a hook up, or fancy every person who walks the earth or that we are swingers. (Not knocking swingers at all, it’s just not what we are). To us it means we have the ability to love in a romantic and sexual way, more than one person. Are style of poly means we all have sex with each partner in are set up . ok so I’m the straight one in are set up, I’m not bi like my girls and other male partners. But I do love watching the girls play with the guys in are dynamic. The family part refers to are set up at home. We have chosen to all live together, it works for us and makes us happy. But we also have family that are none poly family. We say family, but they are friends we class as family. All of us have or had biological families that are strained or broken. So we sort of formed are own little family, of the people we love and wanted in our lives. The is also pixie’s Great Auntie May and Great Uncle Fred, who are sort of adopted grandparents to my girls, and they are a very good and calming influence on them. The is also my mama, who has become to pixie the mother she has always needed in her life, and pixie is the daughter she always wanted.

As for are D/s , well I will star at the beginning. I am the Big D or Maîtser to all 4 of the girls in our dynamic. Babe is a switch , who leans more to the top side of things. She is referred to a are little D or my second in command. She is the one the girls turn to if I’m not about. She is also the one who deals out spankings with a hair brush when pixie misbehaves????. We then come to kitten, again she is a switch, but is more of a bottom. She has also recently become pixie’s official Miss . Pixie has a tag and padlock form Kitten, that is sort of a sign of their commitment to each other. I think if pixie could be married to me and Kitten , she would. Truth be known, I would be more than happy for that. I know pixie loves me and I know how much they love each other, and have for almost 18 years. I would never dream of telling pixie to choose between us, that would be straight up cruel. Now we come to Little bear, submissive , who is known as the family little and brat. She also has a fiancé, who works abroad a lot of the time. He is her ‘daddy’ and switch top to pixie and kitten. Then we have ‘Big’ Steve. He is Dom , who join are dynamic recently. He is Dom / big to all the girls, except Babe. She and he are equals and sort of co-Doms. I personally love watching these two working my girls. Then we have Muss. His new to the family and is are LDR partner. Switch and will move between Dom/ Sub within are dynamic. Last put not least, is little miss mouse. She is submissive to everyone in are family except little bear, who she is sort of a Big S to. Bless mouse she really does not like being in charge or Dom in any form. Don’t get me wrong she runs the house, gets people doing what needs to be done and handles her work life amazingly. But ask her to tell people what to do or be in control of anything , and the will be tear and stamping of feet.

As I said are D/s is very high protocol, which I guess sounds a little scary to the outside of the world. It’s not really. It simply means I believe, as do the girls that you show respect for or dynamic, take pride in your Dominance or submission and want to make the others proud of each other . Protocols are there so we all know how to act and behave in any situation . I and the girls also have contracts with each other. Setting out rights, personal protocols and rules. They range from 2 pages for Mine and Babes , to 15 pages for Pixie. She always jokes that she has a copy on her iPad , but it’s not a joke, she really does. I’m going say here that pixie and my relationship is extreme, complex and her submission is complete. By that I mean that I have control over every aspect of her life. From what time she gets up, what she eats , wears and does in her day. It has taken a very long time to get to this point, and we sit down and talk about levels and rules at least once every month. But I will also say that it is not a TPE. All my girls have the right,to ask questions, disagree with me , if done politely and respectfully, and are free to have there own opinions. I also like my women to bite and scratch a little????

Within are D/s dynamic we have all sorts of rolls and labels, far to many to go into them in depth. But they include Dom / sub , sadist and masochist and CG/ little. We all have different kinks and fetishes , but we all have respect each other’s limits and triggers.

So that’s my take on us and the life we choose to lead. It’s not for all, it’s an extreme end of the poly and D/s spectrum, and like all relationships is unique. All we ask is you don’t judge us before you get to know us, have an open mind and ask questions .

Antoine, aka The Boss Man.

Masturbation Monday

Hunting party.


We are a family, we live, love and exists so. We play together and with each other. We are like a wolf pack. Maîtriser as the Alpha male, the protector, provider. Babe alpha female always have masters back and keeping the pups, us girls inline, or trying. We also hunt as a pack, locating our prey, forming a plan, working together to take it down and all enjoying the spoils together. We all have are roles to play and work off each other. This is a little tale of one of trips ‘hunting trips’ for fresh blood to take home and play with. Written together.
Maîtres: My girls want to go hunting, they have been pacing all day, on high alert. I finally gave in when mouse decided to persuade me with her oral talents. So here we are, out late and a bar. They’ve done me proud, like they always do. Dress sexy, but not sluty. I have sat myself at the bar to watch them weave their magic over the men and women. They use every trick they know so effortlessly, you would never be able to tell what they are up to. All a little differently toying with people, bending them to their will and all trying to make me proud. Knowing watching them is a passion of mine.
Babe: A night out is what I needed, the fact maitser and my girls are here to, makes it so much sweeter. The is a lot talent out to night, it hard to think where to start.my mood is for someone to submit to me, and that draws me to the group of ties in the corner of the room. Not the loud one or the really drunk one, but the shy handsome one on the end of the table. He looks like he could fun! Or maybe the cute little red head behind the bar? Her breast keeps threatening to pop out and say hello and her nipples are hard enough to cut diamonds. I can almost feel what it would be like to take it in my mouth, while mouse makes her scream.
Little Bear: squeak! The are door man in this bar, I do love teasing them. They are normally the best fun and will beg for a blow job. But the are some very pretty ladies here tonight. I may try my luck with one of them or join kitten and mouse. Babe is eyeing up the talent, I think it’s either the it guy or the bar maid. Oh, the fun we could have with them both. I decide to go and see what babe is thinking, I wonder if I can take one and she takes the other? Not tag teaming, no that is for kitten and mouse. Although I might still try and get a doorman to play with me, later though.
Kitten: Well mouse is on form tonight, and in to mischief! She seems to want to be even more affectionate than normal. She keeps kissing me, in an almost aggressively, with bouncing off and doing the same with maîtres. We’ve danced, drunk wine and made out so much my lips hurt. Lol poor Master she decided to preictally lap dance for him. Watching her tease, him and then come back to me is making me horny and I feel the need to show her why she should not tease or to tease her a little harder myself. She is such a good girl and her ability to drive people nuts.
Mouse: Squeak! I am so happy to be out, we’ve not been out on the hunt for weeks! I am having so much fun with Kitten and Maîtres. I know if I push a little harder I will get a rise out of one or both, and that might lead to a spanking or fucking, or maybe both. I really like the bar maid that little bear is chatting up. The is a group of it guys in the corner, posers most of them but the is a quiet one, he could be fun. But I’m more interested in kitten and the prospect of tag teaming maîtres right now, or making her cum.
Maister: My girls are having fun. My mouse is pushing mine and Kitten buttons. I have a mind to drag her outside, push her to her knees and fuck that little mouth. Kitten is enjoying her dance skills, I think mouse wants to tag team the IT guys, hmmm do I let them. Little Bear asked to be allowed to take the Door man out back to tease him, and of course knowing Dave and trusting him to stop when need I’ve said yes. That should calm her down a little. Babe is chatting up the bar maid. Nice and slow, I think we might have our prey lined up now. Let’s get this plan in to action.
Little Bear: So, I’m allowed to make out with Dave and tease him. That is how I am in a pub kitchen, topless with a cock in my hand. Dave is a shorter guy, muscles, and dimples when he smiles. He really likes having someone to flirt with, but I’m not sure this is just flirting. I take his cock in my mouth slowly, looking up at him. No need to be gentle, his past the gentle stage. Then his pulling me up and off his cock, spinning me around and lifting my dress up, I’m glad I forgot panties now. He feels to see how wet I am, then pushes in to me with his thick cock. Blunt and hard, playing with my clit with his free hand. Then I’m Cumming and so is he. delicious!
Babe: Maîtres has agreed to the bar maid, Shannon coming back to play after the bar closes at 12. She is 24, Subbie and goth. I’ve been sat telling her about home and play time. Her little eyes nearly came out when I said we all fuck together. She is going to be ruined by the morning. Maîtres is also watching with joy at how the tag teamers in are group. Kitten has gotten the shy IT guy up and he is now being played with by are little cat and mouse team.
Kitten: I don’t know how much this guy has had to drink, but I’m enjoying this. We have him sandwiched between us dancing, Turing him to face us in turn. Mouse is using her hips in her slow, grinding fashion that drives you in no doubt what she is thinking about. his hands are all over her, but she is keeping eye contact with me, with her shy little smile. I can’t stop myself from leaning over and kissing those lips. She holds eye contact, just long enough for me know what she wants. With a nod, I walk to master, who in turn nods and we make are way outside to the ally at the side of the pub, Leaving a confused looking man.
Mouse: We make are way down the ally, just far enough for maîtres to need to keep watch. I do know more than drop to my knees in front of Kitten, hitching her skirt up, tugging her panties of, and plunging in. My goal and want is to make her come as hard and fast as I can. She is so beautiful like this, one leg thrown over my shoulder, hand in my hair and the look of taotal pleasure her face. She does come fast, all over lips and chin. Dragging my up and kissing me hard, she waves to master to come swap with her, bringing him in as her tag partner.
Maîtres: God I love watching those two play and tease men, leaving them wanting. Know that they are doing it to fuel my arousal and desire. Watching my mouse selflessly making kitten cum, like she was on a mission. But now its time to take what’s mine and giving mouse what she needs. I reach her, and she has hitched her dress up, and all I must do is sink my hard cock in to her waiting cunt. Wrapping her legs round me, biting her neck and roughly groping her breast. I fuck her hard and without mercy, not carrying who sees or hears my little ones screams. We both cum hard, and when I place her feet back on the ground she is breathing hard. I hear babe shout to us that’s its closing time and we are ready to go home for drinks with her new ‘friend’.

Let the feasting begin!

https://masturbationmonday.kaylalords.com/masturbation-monday-202/

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart

Sunday morning.

I never thought motherhood was going to be easy or a free ride, no I knew it would be hard as hell at times. But for me it’s been great, for the most part. I love my little girls, they are one of the best things I’ve done with my life. But what nobody warned me about is just how exhausting they can be. It feels like I have been running on empty for years not days. It would seem they are both teething, so are grumpy and snarky in the day time. But at night , or should I say the early am they turn into insomniacs , who seem to think their feet are really funny and need to chat to mummy about it, and when they have told my about their toes, tiny, chubby ankles and how they can fit their sisters toes in their mouths, they doze off , with soft snores. But when I lay them in their cots to sleep and turn to leave them, one farts, waking themselves up, shrieking with fright, and waking their sister up. So it’s back to cuddles, chats and calming them down. Not the sort of all nighter I had in mind.

It’s after one of our early am chats that maîtser found me asleep on a bean bag this morning. I love the fact that I have rules to follow about everything, but if my daughters need me they can be over looked. But as well as that I love that maîtser and I have CNC in place, and not just the sexy kind. No I mean the loving kind. The kind that means I get woken up with a kiss, taken down stairs and made to eat what ever is but in front of me. Then hustled in to a hot shower, then a warm fluffy towel, then clean clothes and then tucked in to bed , with a stuffie and orders to sleep. And because I’m his good girl, and mildly exhausted , I have no problem with that at all.

But when the sexy side of our CNC decides I have slept and rested for long enough, and he gathers me up in to his arms, roughly foundling my breast, and biting down hard on my neck. Well not only do I know it’s time to wake up, but I’m going to get used in the most delightful way. When his hand travel down over my rib cage, the curve of my hip, dipping under the waist band of my yoga pants and roughly caressing them down my legs, with my panties, bunching at my knees. I tense and pretend to struggle a little , so his hand will go round my throat and he growls in my ear to behave, to hold still, that I’m his and he will do as he wants with me, it leaves my with no doubt he loves me.

When his other hand plunges in to My folds, and pulls my leg up and back over his, I know what’s coming, his marking me as his, making sure I know damned well that I’m his. Biting my neck, he pulls his hand from me, and I feel him unbuckle his belt and push open the fly. Then his hand is guiding his cock inside me, and he starts fucking me . It’s deliciously harsh, fast and hard. It’s not the beautiful love making, but it’s what I need. It is pure feeling, want and need.

Gently he flips me on to my tummy, pulling my bum and hips up, still fucking me. His hands move to the small of back and my neck, pushing it firmly in to pillow. He fucks me so fiercely , that it is nearly painful. Then his hand come round and under me, find my clit with his thumb , circling it with a determined ferocity that is startling. His close I can feel, and I know that if I struggle and whimper a little , he will love what he is doing to me even more, so I do. That is all it takes , and he looses his control , and so do I. Cumming so hard I think I must of blacked out a little.

Collapsing on top of me , he pulls himself from me , flopping on to his side, panting . Leaving me laying there , stunned and used. I get a hard swat to my arse and in commanding tone he says ‘up , I want feeding’ and with that he is up and off downstairs . I hurriedly collect myself , pulling my clothes back on and smoothing down my hair. Not bothering to clean myself up, loving the feeling of how utterly used and marked his made me feel. I run down stair to carry on taking care of his needs , the way he has done for me.

And why do I do this, cos I love, trust and adore him , as he does me.

Pixie x

broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart, social

From the heart – broken brain update

Hello, hi , hay! So I have not been posting that much or writing much. Normally when that happens , well it’s down to life is busy or I’m working or I have important stuff happening. But not this time people. This time it’s because I don’t or haven’t seen the point. My depression is back and my anxiety levels are through the roof. I’m not coping well, I’m angry, confused and tired. I feel invisible, unliked and ugly. I am hurting , sore and had started hating myself again.

I don’t hide that I have mental health problems, well illness. But I fight it , every bloody day and for the most part I’m winning. But over the last few weeks, not so much. This has largely been bought on by my mum being sick and her death. But the have been other thing at play to. My gp changing my meds with out consulting me or my physiatrist or me, has thrown me off balance. He changed my antidepressant to normal to modified release. Meaning that in the morning I would get a massive high, a huge kick of happy , that by 2.30 pm was leaving and by 5 pm was leaving me flat and on a downward spiral. He cut my main anxiety meds from 5mg 6 times a day, to 1mg 4 times a day. Meaning my anxiety level went from liveable, to through the roof and frightened to level the house. He increased my thyroid meds from 200 mg to 350mg straight away. Meaning I got even more anxious, slept less and felt every so slightly manic. Added to this he stop my anti inflammatory med and took out 2 levels of my pain medication plan. Leaving me trying to cope on less pain medication than I need , not wanting to jump to the really high levels.

Now normally I can cope with a depressive bleep, but I have been dealing with loss and grieve, for people I loved or had very mixed and complex feelings for. Not knowing how to feel or deal with, well it all started to get to much again. I was going through the motions each day, but not feeling anything. I was numb and confused. It’s when this happens that the anxiety and ocd side of my kicks in . I also start to get paranoid and start seeing things in other people’s behaviour towards me that makes me even more paranoid and sad. People not replying to msgs , cos they are busy and stressed , to me is them saying I hate you, get out my life, your a vile bitch and I hate you. It’s not the case , but in my head it was or is. It’s like the worse form of rejection and it hurts. Then the voices start to come back, telling me I’m worthless , hopeless , ugly, vile and a waist of oxygen. Trust me they frighten the fuck out of me.

I got to Thursday last week , and I was dragging my bum out of bed , and just going through the motion of being me. To an outsider I looked like I was doing good. That’s cos I have , over the years got good at putting on a front of being good. I had to, or thought I had too. I don’t like bringing people down or being a pain. I mean I’m the sad sack , why should I bring them down with me, right. I stop a sling things, or for help or for support . I but inside, every time I see someone happy , it twists the knife and kills me a little more.

By Friday , well the pain, hurt and yucky feelings got to much. They left me feeling so sad and anxious, it becomes like a physical pain. So strong it takes you breath away and brings tears to my eyes. I was hurting so bad I started to lash out at people. Not hitting or slapping , but with spiteful words and hurtful actions. I grumped at people on twitter, I thought ill of people and refused cuddles from my darling kitten. Things came to head when uncle Fred ask me how I was doing, and I just broke in to a thousand pieces. Thankfully or sadly , depending how you look at it, he and kitten knew I was not well. The called maîtser, who came home from work. Took all my. Tech away and made me take my meds for anxiety attacks . I was tucked in bed with little bear, I cried and feel asleep in her arms.

Maîtser knew what to do, he always does. He came home from work, checked my tech and meds . (I used to hide things that upset me and I have some times stopped taking my meds when I’m poorly). He phoned my cpn and got him to do a home visit. They looked and saw what had happened with my meds , and my cpn phoned and dealt with my gp and my meds. They got my an appointment to see my head doctor for Monday and agreed on a plan for the weekend. Basically I had to do as I was told, rest and let myself be looked after. I think not having to think about stuff and being looked after was really what so needed. I went to bed on Friday, took my sleep meds and slept for 13 hours straight. I spent Saturday playing with my dogs, watching Disney films and cuddling my babies. Sunday I wrote a little, went out for a roast dinner, played with my babies , cuddled kitten and wrote a little more.

Well Monday morning hot hear, and I was a terrified again. I still had in my head that I was having some sort of phycotic break or something worse and that oil was going to be made to stay in hospital. Aunty May came with me, even coming In with me (I seriously thank the nhs needs great aunties as a way to help look after people with mental Health problems) . After 20 mins of chatting and looking at things, the verdict was in. I’ve not gone mad, or lost the plot or need to stay in hospital. What is wrong with me then? My mother died, my dr changed my meds, triggering a depressive blip and I could not cope with it. Simple! We have made a plan on how to deal with this. It involves medication, therapy , hard work and time. But I have a plan, and when I have a plan , well it sort of makes me see I can and will get better.

But I have also had to realise some pretty hard truths, that really have hurt to come to. The are people who I have hurt, and they may not want me around for a while. That some people may not want me as a friend or in theief lives. That people sometimes only have time for the happy , funny and silly pixie. My behaviour has made me open to critasism and reproach . That some people say one thing and mean another. That I am only human and myself, and that even if they say not , that is not enough or what they want. That others are more their. Up of tea . And even though it should not matter , that my bad mental health, is not something they want to deal with or have in their world. I have to except this and move on but it hurts like hell and it is the thing I’m struggling to except, and will take a long time to deal with or get used to not being enough, but I’ll get their. It is hard to except , it hurts and is going to for a long time. But I guess the is worse things than losing people you thought were friends and liked you. It just hurts and makes me feel invisible.

Well that’s the end to this mental health ramble . Self pity and whining will be kept to a mom I promise and normal pixie is back soon, just not yet.

Hugs,

Pixie

Masturbation Monday, Uncategorized

A lunchtime delight.

A lunchtime delight.

The house work is done, dogs are walked and feed , babies are out to lunch with their nana. The house is still and quiet, except for the hum of the washer, a slight snore from a sleeping Hound , and the overly loud ticking of the kitchen clock. I should make myself sit down and write or answer the boring emails, but I’m in the mood for teasing and misbehaving. So it is time to strip off my top, make sure my boobs are looking delightful, and take a boob selfie. (Thank you so much candysnatchreviews ????) . It gets texted to maîtser, along with a message reading ‘are you coming home for lunch? You could eat me if you want????????’ . Knowing fully well that he is in a meeting at work and what it will do to him.

My phone beeps 5 minutes later, and I’m not shocked to see that it’s from maîtser. But my fingers tremble slightly as I open the message, not from fear but from anticipation, want and need. It simply reads ‘on my way home, be naked and in bed. We’re not eating , your getting spanked and fucked, be ready’ . That is enough to have me making puddles in my chair.

Looking at the clock , I jump up from my chair and fly up the stairs . Stripping off my clothes and throwing in dirty clothes hamper. I grab my hair brush and drag it through the mass of unruly curls, tying them up in a high pony tail. Next I check my face, adding a little mascara, pinching my checks to add a little lush to my pale checks. (Of all things to inherit from my nana, I got her big toes, pale skin, curly red hair , and the dimples on my bum) I grab my tooth brush, giving my teeth a super quick scrub, rinsing with some mouth wash. Then it’s a little lipstick, sprites of perfume and grabbing my play collar. The purple one, plan , simply and to the point, pretty much like me!

I hear the car pull up on the drive outside, just as I reach the bed. I dive on the bed , settling back on haunches, legs spread, back straight, head held high and eyes down cast. Arms out stretched, collar in my hands. I hear the door downstairs open and slam shut behind you and then your slow delperate tread on the stairs. I have now idea how the flip it takes you so long to walk up 2 flights of stairs. I am getting more and more fidgety the longer you take, is that why you take so long?

Then the door knob to the bedroom turns oh so slowly, and the door opens, in what seems like slow motion, and in you walk. Bold as brass , cocky and full of that confidence that is so you. You walk to the side of the bed, unclasping my chain day collar, and putting it on the dresser. For a brief second I feel truly naked with no collar round my neck, but as soon as you take the collar from my trembling fingers , placing round my neck, buckling and snapping it’s padlock firmly shut, I feel as if I’m clothed again. You remove you shoes, tie, socks and shirt, and join me on the bed. Sitting with you back against the head bored, legs outstretched and wide apart. You place a pillow between them and pat the pillow. With a soft tone , you utter “come lay down little one” , motioning for me to lay across your lap and except my punishment, like a good girl.

I always love laying across your knee, it feels like home. But the fact you now lay a pillow down so my tummy has something soft and supporting it, so the baby does not get squashed. With it the fact I get to wriggle , stretch and wiggle till I’m comfortable and can feel what that does to you , well it’s yummy! “You finished my little mouse?” You say , with bemused humorous tones? Not looking up , I nod and sigh, resting my head on my arms, wait for that first slap and the beautiful sting and burn.

When it lands , its sharp and sweeter than I could of hoped for. I count each smack and remember to thank you for all of them. He keeps them coming, harder and sharp than the last, and each one excites me a little more! He finish with such a hard blow, that I know I’ll have a hell of a bruised bottom, that I will be proud to show off if ask to!

He runs his fingers over my bum, deeps between my folds, to find me wet and ready to go. “Did you enjoy that little mouse” he chuckles. I nod that I did , as he brings his fingers to my mouth for me to taste myself and hungrily clean his fingers.

All of a sudden I’m flipped off his lap and on to my back, landing with soft thud and a slight squeak. Next thing I know his back on me, only this time his gloriously naked , hard and ready for action. Planting a hard , possessive kiss on my waiting lips , and surging into me at the same time. As hard as the blow from his hand, his public bone hits my clit over and over. Knowing better than coming with out pumishtion , I claw at his back and bit down on his shoulder, praying he lets me come. I can feel how close he is and then with a roar his shouts at me to come, as his climax takes me over the edge, to my own shattering climax.

The next thing I know , he rolls on to his side snuggling me in to him , as I drift off to sleep.

I wake soon after , to the smell of hot cinnamon bagels and the feeling of my bum being rubbed. “Wake up little one, I have to get back to work. Eat this, drink your milk and rest for an hour” he says , place a kiss on my nose. I stretch , open my eyes and smile a lazy grin. With one last lingering kiss his gone, leaving me to my beagle and the wonderful after glow of my lunch time delight.

Masturbation Monday