broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., social

From the heart – broken brain update

Hello, hi , hay! So I have not been posting that much or writing much. Normally when that happens , well it’s down to life is busy or I’m working or I have important stuff happening. But not this time people. This time it’s because I don’t or haven’t seen the point. My depression is back and my anxiety levels are through the roof. I’m not coping well, I’m angry, confused and tired. I feel invisible, unliked and ugly. I am hurting , sore and had started hating myself again.

I don’t hide that I have mental health problems, well illness. But I fight it , every bloody day and for the most part I’m winning. But over the last few weeks, not so much. This has largely been bought on by my mum being sick and her death. But the have been other thing at play to. My gp changing my meds with out consulting me or my physiatrist or me, has thrown me off balance. He changed my antidepressant to normal to modified release. Meaning that in the morning I would get a massive high, a huge kick of happy , that by 2.30 pm was leaving and by 5 pm was leaving me flat and on a downward spiral. He cut my main anxiety meds from 5mg 6 times a day, to 1mg 4 times a day. Meaning my anxiety level went from liveable, to through the roof and frightened to level the house. He increased my thyroid meds from 200 mg to 350mg straight away. Meaning I got even more anxious, slept less and felt every so slightly manic. Added to this he stop my anti inflammatory med and took out 2 levels of my pain medication plan. Leaving me trying to cope on less pain medication than I need , not wanting to jump to the really high levels.

Now normally I can cope with a depressive bleep, but I have been dealing with loss and grieve, for people I loved or had very mixed and complex feelings for. Not knowing how to feel or deal with, well it all started to get to much again. I was going through the motions each day, but not feeling anything. I was numb and confused. It’s when this happens that the anxiety and ocd side of my kicks in . I also start to get paranoid and start seeing things in other people’s behaviour towards me that makes me even more paranoid and sad. People not replying to msgs , cos they are busy and stressed , to me is them saying I hate you, get out my life, your a vile bitch and I hate you. It’s not the case , but in my head it was or is. It’s like the worse form of rejection and it hurts. Then the voices start to come back, telling me I’m worthless , hopeless , ugly, vile and a waist of oxygen. Trust me they frighten the fuck out of me.

I got to Thursday last week , and I was dragging my bum out of bed , and just going through the motion of being me. To an outsider I looked like I was doing good. That’s cos I have , over the years got good at putting on a front of being good. I had to, or thought I had too. I don’t like bringing people down or being a pain. I mean I’m the sad sack , why should I bring them down with me, right. I stop a sling things, or for help or for support . I but inside, every time I see someone happy , it twists the knife and kills me a little more.

By Friday , well the pain, hurt and yucky feelings got to much. They left me feeling so sad and anxious, it becomes like a physical pain. So strong it takes you breath away and brings tears to my eyes. I was hurting so bad I started to lash out at people. Not hitting or slapping , but with spiteful words and hurtful actions. I grumped at people on twitter, I thought ill of people and refused cuddles from my darling kitten. Things came to head when uncle Fred ask me how I was doing, and I just broke in to a thousand pieces. Thankfully or sadly , depending how you look at it, he and kitten knew I was not well. The called maîtser, who came home from work. Took all my. Tech away and made me take my meds for anxiety attacks . I was tucked in bed with little bear, I cried and feel asleep in her arms.

Maîtser knew what to do, he always does. He came home from work, checked my tech and meds . (I used to hide things that upset me and I have some times stopped taking my meds when I’m poorly). He phoned my cpn and got him to do a home visit. They looked and saw what had happened with my meds , and my cpn phoned and dealt with my gp and my meds. They got my an appointment to see my head doctor for Monday and agreed on a plan for the weekend. Basically I had to do as I was told, rest and let myself be looked after. I think not having to think about stuff and being looked after was really what so needed. I went to bed on Friday, took my sleep meds and slept for 13 hours straight. I spent Saturday playing with my dogs, watching Disney films and cuddling my babies. Sunday I wrote a little, went out for a roast dinner, played with my babies , cuddled kitten and wrote a little more.

Well Monday morning hot hear, and I was a terrified again. I still had in my head that I was having some sort of phycotic break or something worse and that oil was going to be made to stay in hospital. Aunty May came with me, even coming In with me (I seriously thank the nhs needs great aunties as a way to help look after people with mental Health problems) . After 20 mins of chatting and looking at things, the verdict was in. I’ve not gone mad, or lost the plot or need to stay in hospital. What is wrong with me then? My mother died, my dr changed my meds, triggering a depressive blip and I could not cope with it. Simple! We have made a plan on how to deal with this. It involves medication, therapy , hard work and time. But I have a plan, and when I have a plan , well it sort of makes me see I can and will get better.

But I have also had to realise some pretty hard truths, that really have hurt to come to. The are people who I have hurt, and they may not want me around for a while. That some people may not want me as a friend or in theief lives. That people sometimes only have time for the happy , funny and silly pixie. My behaviour has made me open to critasism and reproach . That some people say one thing and mean another. That I am only human and myself, and that even if they say not , that is not enough or what they want. That others are more their. Up of tea . And even though it should not matter , that my bad mental health, is not something they want to deal with or have in their world. I have to except this and move on but it hurts like hell and it is the thing I’m struggling to except, and will take a long time to deal with or get used to not being enough, but I’ll get their. It is hard to except , it hurts and is going to for a long time. But I guess the is worse things than losing people you thought were friends and liked you. It just hurts and makes me feel invisible.

Well that’s the end to this mental health ramble . Self pity and whining will be kept to a mom I promise and normal pixie is back soon, just not yet.

Hugs,

Pixie

Eroticon, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social

Where in the world is Pixie Heart?

So, I have been posting and been around, but not really been ‘Around ‘of late. By that I mean I have been a little distant, a little distracted and felt a little bit outside of things. It’s not the nicest of feelings in the world, hell it’s horrid, but it has been kind of unavoidable really.

Why? I hear you cry. Well for one I have been rushed off my feet getting ready for Crufts. I’m not only working and teaching at the event this year, but all my dogs are there too. Don’t get me wrong it will be amazing, it is amazing every year, but it’s a planning and logistical nightmare. My boss has been epicly helpful and said that the babies can work on the stand. Basically, they are going to be strapped to different people in their carries and used to itemise people to come say hello. Which they are going to love as they love having chats and meeting people!

Then we come to the Elephants in the room. The big nasty that is Cancer has struck my family. My Uncle Keith had been struggling with chest infections and breathing difficulties for the last couple of months and his GP finally sent him for a chest x-ray. It sadly showed that he had tumours on his lungs. Well after scans and biopsies, it turns that the is nothing that can be done. It is a very aggressive cancer, it has spread, and he has a matter of months left. Then the is my mother’s cancer. We had thought she was going to beat it, but sadly not. The treatment is not working, the is nothing else that will work, and she has 3 to 6 months left. Now I may seem a little like I don’t really care about the fact they are both going to die. I do, I care very much, but I don’t see the point in sitting round wailing over it. Cancer is a bastered of an illness, it has taken a lot of people I love. It kills people slowly and painful. The best thing I can do is stay strong, keep going and be there when people need me. I have a life and people who need me to keep going, not crumble in to a ball and give up.

I have a lot of good things in pipe line. For all the stress it brings I am looking forward to crufts. I get to see my friends and shop for my dogs! Then the is Eroticon the weekend after. Lol I’m treating it as a holiday. No husband, babies, dogs, or house work for a weekend, in London, on my own! Truthfully, I’m terrified, but I’m going if it kills me. It will be good for me on so many levels, I just have keep moving the worry and doubts I have about myself and my abilities. Lol the Boss man said if I get through it on my own I get 20 reward stickers. The 5 days leading up to Eroticon I am teaching secturely dog handlers. which is always fun!

The changes I made with the help of the boss man at the start of the year have finally started to make them selves know so to speak. I’m happier and less stressed. I’m sleeping better and coping with some of the crap that life throws at me. my health, is getting better and I’ve stopped freaking out if I get a sniffle or cough. My writing schedule is working amazingly well and I’m making time to write more than I thought I would. It is amazing that by giving the boss man more control and having a heap more structure in my day, how much happier it makes me and the more settled I become. I had some say recently that they don’t know how I cope with being in something that is so high protocol and that the rules I have are too restrictive for me to feel truly happy. but it is in fact the other way around for me. Without the protocols, rule, and structure, I feel lost, anxious, and deeply unhappy. What I have would not work for may people, but it does work for me.

Well that turned in to a rant rumble, but hay hum!

Pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social

Protectors, guides, and mentors.

So, a few months ago kink craft had an article and podcast about protectors and their role with in the kink community. (John brownstone and Kayla Lords were guest on the podcast). It was a great article and had excellent points. It got me thinking about my own experiences of ‘Protectors’ and wanting to know other options of them I asked on Twitte what others thought of them. Well that was opening a big old can of worms!

People have a lot of very strong opinions of them, both good and bad. The general opinion was that most people who offer to act as ‘Protectors’, are in fact abusive predators and should be avoided like the plague. That some responsibility needs to newbies in doing their own research and being as prepared as they can be. That ‘protectors’ have more of a mentor role. That Doms and Subs new to the kink scene Could use a Mentor or a guide. And above all, always stay ‘Sane. Safe and Consensual’.
I personally hate the term protector or protection. Those terms making me think of the mafia or a brand of condoms. However, I do think that the is a place of protectors in the kink world. Hell, I don’t just think it, I see it as the responsibility of people how have been in the life style for a while to keep an eye on newbies and stand up to people who are likely to course harm to them.

Thankfully the kink scene has a few awesome people who do keep an eye on newbies and keep the A-holes at bay.
My first personal taste of a protector was when I met kitten and she took me to my very first fetish club. I was only 18 and at the time very vulnerable. It was that night that she introduces me to her Dom, a fresh faced 34-year-old boss man. (aww I forgot he was that young once). He sat and chatted to me, pointing out things and explaining stuff. He also introduced me to all the trustworthy and friendly people and pointed out the people who I should avoided like the plague.

We as a family have from time to time acted as a sort of guide to newbies. Showing people around, introducing them to people, explaining term and etiquette. Also pointing the A-holes and wirdos. (I have a picture of sir Beasty going ‘WIRDOs’ and ROTFLMAO’)

Us girls also acted as what I guess you would call mentors, but I would call it more of a friend and being open and approachable. We have all been around and active in kink, on some level for a lot of years. (Babe has been for 21 years, but I’m not saying she is old, just mature, and sexy as hell). We will take newbie subs under are wing, answering questions, explaining things, sharing safe and informative rescores and inviting them to come to events with us. The Boss Man has also acted as a mentor many times. He first got in to kink and BDSM when he was 22 and is 53 now. (his sexy as hell though). He does pretty much the same as we do but will also teach or show them how to use floggers and canes and the like.

Now I’m going to share the reason babe actively act as a mentor / protector. On a night out in a club in London in early 2006 the was a newbie male sub, who was trying to get in with the hardcore mistresses who put on a great show and had these amazing sub, who were willing to do anything. Well to cut a long story short this poor guy took GHB and went on to have a bad reaction, now that is bad part. The good part was a very well known at respected female Dom saw what had happened, had her 2-male sub to calmly move him to the side, then took it on her shoulders to take care of this poor guy. Make sure someone sat with him, made him drink water, got him food, kept him warm and went as far as making sure he got home and that the was someone sober stayed with him till he was sober. It really impacts on babe in a big way. I think it is one of the ways that make Babe the way she is as a Dom.

I’m going to say here that as a family we believe that if People in the BDSM, kinky and fetish Scenes want to be seen in a positive manner, they sold act and play in a responsible, none judgemental way. So why would they not wanted support and encourage new people and offer them protection.

As with anything in are little family we do things a little differently, cos we are us. Maîtriser always says that our safety and well being is the most important thing in the world to him. But the are 4 of us at home and he only has one set of arms and one set of eyes. So, we have rule and regs to keep us safe and to give him peace of mind. Are rules being: No going out after 10pm on our own. No going to pubs or clubs on are own. If 3 of us are drinking, 1 of us must stay sober. No playing in clubs with out babe with us. If in doubt, ask yourself What Would Babe do. (WWBD)

We also have a list of real world and online friends that act as sort of protectors for me and the girls. They are known as ‘pre-agreed others’ and are listed at the back of are contracts we have with maîtriser. The are there to keep an eye on us, but we can also turn to them for advice and guidance if we need it. This was added to are rules, not because he does not trust us. But we have had issues with other people in the past and we all wanted to feel as safe as we can be. The list is full of people that us girls and maîtriser feel we can trust totally

For me the whole safety thing has been huge part of my recovery from Domestic violence and has helped me to rebuild my life. I sometimes think people might see it as me going from one controlled relationship to an even more controlling relationship. But 80% of my rules are there at my asking. They are there to make me feel safe, and thus keeping me happy and healthy. Some of my rules: Who I can and can’t talk to. The amount of contact I have with my family. Social media, email and phone checked when ever maîtriser asks and that my blog is co by Sir Beasty. I asked for these as when I get sick I ide things and with these in place, the slightest sign that I’m getting sick, the boss man will step in and stop it getting worse.

So that is My thoughts and take on things. What works for me and the family, may not work for you, but it works for us. What I will say is you should always do your research, take your time to think, don’t rush. Stay sane, safe, and consensual. be careful who you trust. If something feels wrong in your gut, trust it, and remove yourself the situation. But above all safety first!

Diary, family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Dairy 8/1/18 to 14/1/18.

Diary: Mouse
Monday 8th January 2018:4am: Sweet baby J! How much snot can two babies make? Every time I put one down the other cries or starts coughing. Hate this, I should be able to make them better.
7am – Thank you for bringing me tea! And thank you for offering to take the day off to look after them, but I’m a big girl I can do this. You have so much work on, it does not do for both of us to be tired! Love you x
7.45 – Aunty May has turned up with her knitting. She is making me breakfast and then told me to go take a nap, she also said she will sit with the girls while I nap. She has made a pot of tea, has her book and her knitting. When I tried to say I was fine, I got told to hush, eat my eggs and be a good girl. I’m being Domed by my 82-year-old aunty!
11.50am – Holy cow! I really was shattered! Being woken up with a cup of tea and told to take a shower and that lunch is at 12.30 is the best feeling in the world!
12.30pm – I think today is about just holding it together and not over thinking things! My head is not a pretty place to be today. So, I am not going to over do it or push myself to hard. Aunty May has made bonfire night soup and soda read, with proper butter.
1.30pm- Aunty May is watching the babies and I’m off to dump rubbish!
2pm- home and planning tonight’s classes! I am terrified that after 4 months of not teaching owners that my brain has turned to mush! Might have to extra meds tonight 
3pm – I have wrapped the babies up warm, got my hat, scarf, and gloves on. Bella and mad eye have their coats and harnesses on we are going for a walk, I need fresh air.
4pm – lord, that really did help! Blowy, cold, and damp, but it helped!
4.20pm – babies sleeping, so I’m doing 30 mins of writing!
4.45pm – Ok given up writing chatting with snuggles and Sir Beasty instead, much giggles to be had!
5pm- time to cook dinner, best steer clears of the garlic tonight!
5.55pm – Did you know this is the first ‘Dinner time’ we have all sat down to after a full working day this year? I do love that everyone turns up at 5.5o or so and we seem to spring in to action as a little family unit!
6.30pm – well time to get changed. Again, thank you for offering to come and support me at classes. But I need to do this for myself.
9pm – lesson done! I did it go me!
11pm – bedtime story, snacks and lights out. it has been a hard day, tomorrow will be kinder!
2am – great now they want Justine Bieber songs with their feed! You git!
Tuesday 9th January 2018: 5.30am – Mwah! Thank you for getting up with the girls and doing feeds and bums! I really need to stretch!
6.30am – so I’m having breakfast in bed with kitten, we have a secret mission for Sir Beasty! Maw-ha-ha-ha!
8.30am- so dressed and ready to go to my English class! Babies and I seem to of dressed the same today! Did you mean to do that??
9.30- Tiger have unicorn head phones again! I may have just bought 4 pairs. #sorrynotsorry
10am – English lesson time!
10.45am – Oh bum in a jock strap! Sir Beasty is on-line and wants to chat and I don’t want to be rude, but also, I need to do brain work!
11.20am – ok I may have eaten MacDonald’s fries, sorry!
12.30pm – Jeans, t-shirts and hoddies bought, now home for lunch.
1pm – Uncle Fred is here and has salad sandwiches! Lunch time companion!
2pm – stuffed! Babies down for naps, mummy is doing house work!
4-pm – house cleaned, tea prepped, and babies fed, burped, changed bums and back to sleep. I’m off to write in little space!
5.30pm – so you are waking me up with kisses was nice, but I wasn’t sleeping. Just checking for light leaks! So, you fancy a hand job before tea?
6pm – girls home from work and we are having chinses food cooked by you?! umm ok then!
7pm- you let me have veggie noodles and did them all safe and everything! Not that I’m saying this, but do you fancy cooking dinner in the nude sometime, we would love that! 😉
8.30pm – Clean Babies, fed and in bed! Bed as told, but can I write, story idea! Please!!!
11pm – Bedtime story and tuck in?! don’t like babe being away and little bear working nights!
Wednesday 10th January 2018: 6am – Yoga time! Stretchy Pixie time!!!
7.am – I don’t like not having little bear or babe here breakfast. It feels empty and I miss them):
8.30am – see you tonight x x x x. house work started kitchen and babies sorted. And little bear tucked up in bed. She looked little and tired):
9am- Ummm so let me get this straight, you want me and the babies to take Big Steve shopping for suits and to have lunch with him? Oh, Ok if I must!
9.30am- His got the big car! I have decided I want to be Tigger for the day! I bounced on stave and Sir Beasty!
10am – let me at them suits!!!
1pm- Good lord, that man knows how to shop! He got the twins gap hoodies and jeans! We are having Mexican food for lunch!
2.30pm- home from lunch, babies fed, changed, and tucked up for naps. That is where I’m heading now, before you grump at me!
4pm – blimey I was a tired Pixie pops! Little bear has woken up in a very good mood and even got the babies up. Found them sat on the floor watching TV together! Yes, I know but they looked like they were watching with her, ok?
5pm- Well that is babies fed, bag backed for tomorrow, lunches made, outfits laid out and washing on. Now for dinner!
5.45pm- You was nearly late! Go get changed or no dinner!
6pm – yes, I did you stake for dinner and yes, I made baked spuds, who does the food round here buster!
7pm- shower time with kitten, can we play please?
7.50pm – Thank you for sitting and watching big man, I do love that!
8pm – baby baths are such fun! Umm I do think we might be taking a few to many pics though, maybe?
9pm – Babies asleep, and yes, I’m off to bed!
10pm – I swear writing for an hour before bed helps me get sleepy as hell! Can we “cuddle” please, that would help me and kitten sleep!
11.30pm – holy fuck, I know kink of the week is anle , but FUCK! Oh and what the fuck got in to you!!! I’m going to have bruises for weeks and the teeth marks on my shoulder, nice touch! But now sleep? Please?
Thursday 11th January 2018:5am- Connie and Evie want to come and do yoga, no really they do and I might want quiet cuddles, is that ok?!
6.15am – have you got you sleuth pants on today?! How did I not hear you come down and start breakfast? Not complaining! Boiled eggs and avacrdo toast! Love you x
7am – kitten cuddles, baby bathing and hot tea!
8am – double checking my bag, for the 5th time. I am so nerves and nervous. Will you please look after my babies? I know you will, but love them extra hard for me? Connie likes to see Evie when she goes down for her naps and does not like wearing her mittens, but needs them on cos she is itchy. Evie likes cuddles before her morning feed, holding Connie’s foot when you do her nappy and like raspberries on her tummy once it’s done. You know all that right? They don’t like radio 4 or 1, but love radio 2 or Kane fm.
8.30am – Coffee money and a lift! Thank you x x x x
9am – here goes!
10.15am- Why are you sending me pics of you willy? And very rude exploit text? Need you knob now!
10.30am – Thank you for saying I can go calm myself down, but what if I get caught or something?
10.45am – Did it! Now I need to behave or I’m not going to do well in this class.
12.30- Lunch time. I’m going to sit in the outside seating bit. I know I should go and find someone to eat with, but I’m not that brave.
1.30pm – chemistry time!
2.45pm – Break time and phone call home. No, I’m not checking up on you, just checking in to see that your all ok!
4.30 – college over and done for the day! I did it, I really did it! Epp!
4.35pm – your bought my babies to meet me! x x x x x x x x x x x
4.50pm – do I have to take a nap?!!?
5.45pm – ok dogs bursting in on me to wake me up is great, Mad Eye farting and walking off not so great! Little shit!
6pm – Wow you did spaghetti and tomato sauce, yay!
7pm – Really, I must take a bath and put jammies on?!?! (:
7.30pm – I don’t like babe and little bear not being here): but I do like T.V and cuddle with you and kitten (:
8.45pm- Boobie, burp, bum, and bed!
9pm – I got old, I want to go to bed!
10.30pm – bedtime story, lights out and cuddles!
1.45am – oh Dear! We have a snotty situation going on in the girl’s room!

Friday 12th January 2018: 5.15am – thank you for getting up with me, so tired and needed your extra motivation to do yoga this time of the morning, after a night like that!
6am – Breakfast with the loving BDSM podcast! Yippy!
7.30am – thank for doing the babies so I can shower and get dressed. SOOO blinking tired!
8.30am – Babe is on her way home!!!!
9am – go to work already! If you don’t I’m never going to get this place clean and the ironing done!
10.30am – Bathrooms cleaned, towels on washing, sheets, and undies dry, hoovered, and mopped, not time for a snack and cup of tea!
11am ok living room time!
12.45 – Living room done, bedroom done! Not to play with babies and eat lunch!
1.30pm – babe is home, but she is so tired): made her a sandwich, cup of and sat her in front of the television.
2pm- have got babe to go bed, she looked done in for, so I asked her if she would please take a nap!
2.30pm- All the house work is done, babe is sound asleep, as are the twins. I am now going to sit and write!
4pm – Taking a nap myself now!
4.45pm – I really do love it when Kitten wakes me up with kisses! Little bear did the twins bottles and bums and babe is playing Xbox. The house is warm, full of noise and colour again. Simply makes me very happy!
5.30 pm – You’re a full 30 minutes earlier than I thought you would be! Go wash up or ill bite your bum!
6pm – Pizza and salad for tea is fabulous, add Bud light and I’m a happy girlie!
7pm – Shower time with babe! She even let me wash her hair and her back! She is ragged and tired, we need to love her a little harder for a bit sir. Seeing her family and Julie not being there is still so raw for the time being!
8.30pm – Babies first you monster, then sexy time!
You know how much I hate leaving kitten half way through eating her! 😛
9pm – Come on then big man, bring you’re A game!
1am – See your not getting old and still got it and some! You left marks on all 4 of us and I think babe need that. teeth marks on the inside of thighs is a nice extra and I love them! Sleep now though?
Saturday 13th January 21018: 6.30am – Thank you for letting me skip yoga this morning. So tired and sore. Right babies!
7.45- babies done, dressed, washed, hair up and ready for breakfast. Do you have to go to work?
8.15am – Right me and the twins are off to get the bus to my English class. Rahhh! I’m feeling super brave today!
9am – The building people are putting the hugest crane ever up and half the road is closed, and I’m stuck on the bus!
9.15 am – made it! Let the English lesson commence!
11am – can I get fries from McDonalds, please!!!!
12.30 pm on the bus home. tired and needy of rest!
1.15- home. babies fed, and bums done then lunch for this tired pixie!
2pm- You’re really missing out, all 4 of us are taking a nap together!
4pm – Where did you come from? Babies look so tiny when you carry them around! Why are you home so early?
4.30pm – Yay we are making homemade Mexican food for tea!
5.15- I did warn you about the chillies, silly head!
6pm- I love the fact I can feed the babies and dinner at the same time! Multy tasking or what! This is the best dinner ever, yours are such a good chef!
7pm- bath with the babies! Love this!!!’
8pm- babies sleeping! Time for cuddles in bed with my girls!
8.30pm – casualty, snacks, and beer! Rock and roll, we be!
10-pm so, your drunk! But not that I mind, means we get to listen to kinky books on the iPad!
12pm- you know they’re not even hunger or need bums doing. The cry, you pick them up and have a cuddle. Then full asleep in your arms!
3am – Mad Eye is at it again! With the add thing he seems to have taken to sleep in the door way to the girl’s room!
6.30am – how can you be so sodding chirpy, this time in the morning and no hang over! Thank you for doing the babies and letting me do yoga.
7.45am – So I have decided I’m not going to mass. I’m just not in the right frame of mind. Can we have a family day?
8am – little bear thought I looked sad, so got me jelly and cream.
9am – Kitten and I are doing lists of things we want to do next week. I have stickers out you have been warned!
10am – Babe is taking us all to hobby craft and I have £70 on my card cash account!
12pm- Whoop! I got barging’s and nice things! The babies liked pets at home.
1pm- home for lunch!
2.30pm – Have had lunch, done the 3 b’s, and now napping!
4pm – Blimey tired pixie pops! Babies playing with I be!
5pm – Pasta for dinner!
6.30- bath time, I think I have a cold):
7pm- turns out I really do have a cold!
9pm going to bed feel yucky!
10pm- Thank you for making me get up and have cold medicine, I know I moaned and whined, but I really did need it!
10.30pm – Bedtime story, cuddles and lights out. Thank you, x,

bdsm, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized, wicked wednesday

His voice. 

I hate working away from home. The 12-hour days spent setting up the class room, the question that I have had to answer a 1000 time before, then the packing away, only to come back and start all over in the morning. The worst part is the drive to the budget chain hotel, to my bland, generic room and a long evening of tv and myself deal with. But tonight is going a little better than most nights, as I have my darling kitten with me, we have permission to play and we have a call from maîtriser to look forward too!
We are under orders to be fed, bathed and in pj’s by the time he calls at 8 pm. So that’s how we come to be perched on the end of the bed, with Kittens phone between us, counting down the seconds till he rings weirdly it’s his voice I miss the most, after the way he feels when I cuddle him. It has the ability to make my do as I’m told one minute, to make me smile the next and wet and horny the next. It can calm, arouses and command all at the same time. His thick French accent, with a hint of Italian and your occasional slip of the tongue that tells of your time spent living in the west country.
Lost in a slight day dream I nearly jump out of my skin when kittens phone starts to blare out his ring tone of ‘all my friends’ By Dermot Kennedy starts to play. I think kitten must have been thinking the same as me, as her sacking hand reaches for the phone and she slide the lock screen and hits the answer button and then speaker. ‘Hello’ she says in a small voice that is very much her being shy and nervous.
Then comes his voice in a thick droll and steady as always, ‘Hello kitten, hello mouse, how are both my little ones? Have you been behaving? Have you been good girls for me?’ It’s with these word that I’m lost, I breath out a sigh I did not know I had been holding in. My shoulder hunch as I relax, letting all the stress of the day go and let the feeling of being safe and love, wash over me. God how I have missed him.
Kitten and I turn to face each other with the phone between us. sitting crossed legged on the bed, tucking feet underneath. We chatter away about what we have been doing and how are days have been. Having turned to face Kitten I feel a little distracted, but then I always do when it comes to Kitten. She is so damn beautiful it takes my breath away. Shifting a little, my knee bumps hers, I look up at her big brown eyes and blush. ‘So how did your course go little mouse?’ I hear coming from the phone, but It barely registers in my fuddled little brain.
‘hmmmm. Yes, what was that’. which is met with a shocked look on kitten’s face and stony silence from the other end of the line. Then clearing of his throat and ‘Mouse what did I just ask you?’. I panic and try I recall what he said, but I just can’t. I know not to umm or ahhh about thing or try to stall when asked something. So, I chose to fess up.
‘I don’t know, I was too busy looking at Kitten and thinking about doing stuff to her’. Blushing like flip and looking down at my lap. Again, I hear him clearing his throat and then a chuckles ‘what a sort of things mouse? Were they naughty things? Have they made you wet little one? Kitten be a good girl and check for me.’
She is up on her knees and moving towards in an instant. She pushes me back on the bed, her hand pulling my panties to the side, slipping inside, and plunging in to me. slowly running her cold finger up and down, then circling my clit. As quickly as she started her check, she abruptly removes finger, and brings it up to her mouth. ‘she is wet maîtriser, she smells yummy. please can I taste her maîtriser?’
‘As you asked so nicely, yes you may Kitten, but listen to me, I want to hear you make her moan and whipper, and then when I tell you Ruin her for me kitten. Do you understand? ‘ . I move myself up the bed, pulling me t-shirt off and hooking my thumbs in the waist band of my panties, dragging them down over my hips. Kitten is on her knees and curling up the bed towards me, the look in her eyes makes me whipper. I hear maîtriser chuckle and the sound of a zip being pulled down. Oh, dear god now I know what he’s doing at the other end of the line. I have blinding vision of him stroking his cock.
Next thing I know kitten is between my legs, having pulled my panties all the way off and tossing them on the floor. Maîtriser tells her to go slow, teasing, and gentle. His gentle tone is telling me to play with my nipple rings, to lose myself in the feeling and that I can stroke my kitten if I want. My eyes close and I just feel. her fingers, her tongue and the sound of maîtriser voice, its start to become a growl. His close, I can picture his hand moving faster and feel his grip become firmer.
Kitten has reached my clit and is lapping at it like her namesake. then I hear the words ‘Now kitten, make her come now!’ That’s when she sucks my clit between her teeth, biting lightly and pushing her tongue flat against my clit. I can’t keep it in any longer, I come undone, scream out her name and then all feel is bliss. I hear grunts coming and the throaty growl.
When I come down of the celling, when my breathing calms, I looked down and see kitten kneeled between my legs, a happy smile on her lips, then her tongue licks the moisture from her lips. A muffled noise breaks the silence. We sit up looking for kitten’s phone, that has become tangled up in the sheets and pillows.
‘that’s my good kitten, well done little one’ comes the voice on the other end. ‘Good girl mouse, you sound so beautiful when you come’ Smiling from ear to ear I roll on to my tummy and kiss kitten. I can taste myself on her lips. Then I hear ‘now mouse I want you to return the favour to kitten, and then I want you to turn the lights out and go to sleep, do you understand’
‘Yes maîtriser, we do.’ We say in unison. A reply of ‘good girls, Good night my sweet little ones’
‘Good night maîtriser, we love you’ we say. Then we hang up and I turn to kitten and promptly return the favour.

Wicked Wednesday

bdsm, Diary, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social, Uncategorized

Dairy 16/10/17 – 22/10/17.

Diary: Mouse
Monday 16th October 2017: 5.45am – Well I have to say waking up in my own, with the girls and with you is the best feeling ever! So, I’m getting up and having breakfast.
6.30am – I’m dressed, had breakfast and meds and neb done. Can I go feed the girls now please???
7am – squeak! The girls can have a bath I a bit! Thank you for feeding Evie and burping Connie, Evie is not quite getting the boobie yet! And shush about my boobies and wanting to tie me up, not for a bit big man!
8.30am – Bath time. Be still my heart, I have never seen a man look so frightened of doing something wrong. Connie looks tiny in your hands.
9am – So home and house mouse time! Little bear is such a good girl, she has put the washing on and the dishwasher!
10am – Ok so I’m doing my own meds for the week…. Breath mouse, breath….
11.15am – back to feed the girls and have cuddles! Love you Frenchie.
12.45pm – Please, please, please stop sing Justine Bieber songs at the babies, they are starting to like them! Can’t you do something metal or rock? Country or punk? People are going to think were weird or something!
1pm – fettucine Alfaro, from starch, I’m so impressed!
1.30pm – Nap time! (and story and cuddles!)
2.45pm – Off to do feeds and cuddles. Blimey, I will be glad to get them home so it’s a wee bit less chaotic!
4pm- Dog walking! Dear god have I missed being able to do this and not get puffed out after a km!
5.15pm – Little bear and Babe cooking dinner together for the first time ever. Was awesome and Babe letting little bear boss her round a little was a nice touch! (was that your idea?)
6pm – Last feed of the day and just think they will be home this time tomorrow!
8pm- tired and needy! Bath, snack, and bed.
9.15pm – Can we go and get the girls tonight?!? Please?!?!?
12.10am – ok so I feel sleepies, but it’s tomorrow so we can go get the girls 
1am – pain killers and sleeping pill is needed! Love you x
Tuesday 17th October 2017: 8am- Ok so I slept well, thank you for taking charge and making me take meds. I admit I was being stubborn and I’m very sorry. So, can we go get the girls now???
9am – Ok I made a pig of myself, but that is the best breakfast ever! Porridge with bananas and honey, fruit toast and 3 figs with yoghurt and nuts! Can we go now?!?
10am – kitchen clean, bathrooms blitz, and dinner in the slow cooker. Can I at least pop the stuff in the car?!?
10.30am – YAY! Thank you for saying we can go get them!
11am – This is really real!!!
11.30 – Way to make your wife cry! How did you get NICU graduate t-shirts and the unicorn car set cosy’s??? I must say thank you to Kitten as well, leggings and zip up hoddies, in different purples. I have the most style savvy babies!
12.45 – baby briefing done and home we go! Ekk!
1pm – They are home!!! So yeah, I’m taking them on a guided of the house and introducing them to the dogs!
2pm – Ok I’m going to level with you Frenchie, being sat on the bed, feeding the girls and just looking after my tiny little humans is just the most amazing feeling ever and I feel like it’s just what I was meant to do.
2.30pm – Babies are sleeping and I’m meant to be napping , but I’m sat watching them!
4pm – Ok so I was tired, but waking and the babies not being there freaked me out! Come downstairs to find you dancing round the kitchen with them , while cooking dinner , fucking priceless 
5pm – Girls are all home from work , I get to cook with you and the girls are getting cuddles from everyone. Babe has even asked to give them their feed 
6pm – cripes I think we may have made too much food!
6.15pm – aww you knew Steve was coming, round, didn’t you?!?!
7.30pm – aww Steve looks big and burley most of the time, cuddled up with the girls he looks all little and cute!
9pm – feeding times, nappy change and down for the night. Now time for a shower, snacks and meds and bedtime!
11.20pm – umm why is little bear cuddling Evie and holding a hole conversation with her?
2am – So this will no doubt get old, but first ever night feed! For some reason Bella, mad eye and spidie seem to think I need their help!
Wednesday 18th October 2017: 6am- Early morning feeds done, breakfast and meds and neb done! I’m dressed and ready for the day!
8am – Girls bathed, dressed and down for a morning nap! Now it is time for house work and time for you to go do some work buster! *Bossy Dommy wife stare*
11.15 – Bedroom blitzed, sheets changed, dirty sheets washed and hung out. upstairs vacuumed, dusted and wood work cleaned. Bottle serialised and made up. Silly as this will sound but I recklessly happy to be able to clean my house again!
11.30 – Feeding, burping and bums done!
12.15 – ummm your making linguini Alfaro for lunch, what do you want?!
12.40pm- Dear god that was lush! Can we have cuddles and read on the sofa!
1.20pm pm – Well if you will read me filth, you will get blow jobs!
1.30pm – Your taking the girls to work with you?!?! that is so cute! But thank for this, means I can sit down and do the course content and finish that article. X
3pm- So taking the girls to work is code for having a chat and a cuddle with them does it!
3.15pm – Dinner is on, pudding is made and I’m now going to take my nap!
4.20pm – can I have my babies back now please? They need feeding and I need cuddles!!!
5.30pm – why does everyone arrive home at the same time? But it is bliss having you all home! Kitten and Little bear look like nutters dancing with babies, but hay I don’t judge. Thank you for kicking back and having a beer with babe, I know she loves teaching but something has gotten her worked up and I worry she is bottling stuff up!
6.50pm -That was good food! Time to put the girls down and then get ready for bake off!
7.30pm – I cannot tell you how nice it is to be able to have a bath on my own with the door shut and not have to worry that I’m going to get stuck in the bath!
8pm – Bake off! Can I get a pocket-sized Noël fielding please?
10.20pm – I was checking for light leaks not sleeping: P. but yes, I will do the girls and go to bed!
11pm – Bed time story, lights out and cuddles, thank you x
2am – night feed done and bum clean! Again, the dogs seem to think the girls need a guard of houner or something!
Thursday 19th October 2017: 5am – I think Connie takes after me for her love of early mornings, food, and cuddles while the sun comes up! Evie is like you and grumpy if I wake her up early, but like me for fulling asleep half way through things!
6am – breakfast with the girls! Have not done this in weeks and it is sooooo good! It is made all that much better that are numbers have go to 6 now!
7am- Time to get me and the girls ready for the day, as Aunty May will be here at 8.30. Little bear is very excited about a day of clean and tiding!
8.20am- can you please stop copping a feel of my boobies please! Girl bath and down for a nap, Dressed and meds and neb done. Tea made and wish me luck!
8.45am – tea drunk and let the house cleaning begin!
11.30 – Holy crap almighty! I had forgotten what it feels like to clean with aunty may watching! Upside is that I fed the girls and she took over burping and bums!
12.15pm – Family lunch. Blimey we get through a lot of bread with soup 
2pm – ok I admit it I love watching the girls sleep and I need my afternoon nap still!
4pm – Got to love when May cooks dinner! I get to play with the girls and the dogs. #spoiltmadam
5pm – your all home early! So, what do we do, play Cluedo, we are that rock and roll!
6pm – I put it to you that home cooked food is better than 90{df7bb8344c8fbc08004428db04482721bad042a20adaf6cb6f45d2148c3c353a} of stuff you can but while out!
6.45pm – Babies and I are going to take a shower and put are jamies on, cos we can!
7.10pm – girls down! Thank you for taking may home. now let’s do this games night thing then!
9.15pm – You are such a sore loser! We beat you fair and square, just cos I chose to make out with kitten does not mean we cheated: P
10pm – fed, burping and bums done. Kitten and I are turning in for the night, I’m cream crackered!
11pm – story, cuddles and lights out!
2.30am – Love you so much for doing night feed! X x
Friday 20th October 2017: 5.45am – So that was the best night sleep in ages! Thank you so much for making me stay in bed! Girls are super hungry today. Thought I was going to lose a nipple!
6.30am – yup I love figs and honey and will give blow jibs for them! Hell, I would beg for them, hell how am I kidding I beg for anything if your involved!
8.30am – Up dressed, breakfast, meds and neb done. Babies bathed, dress and awake! Why am I so nerves about the midwife coming??
9am – midwife is on time, so that is a first! Girls are doing fine. Connie is dead on 5lbs and little miss Evelyn is up 4lb 9, so super proud of my girls! I’m healing up well, but got a lecture about pushing myself to hard 
9.45am – So I am going to attempt to walk to the shop and back with the girls!
10.20am – Ok so not doing as well as I thought, close to a panic attack  I am going to take a bit of time and have a rest. Tired now!
11am- Fed, burped and clean bums! Must get Babe chocolate for her feeding chart!
12.15pm – Ok I could very much get used to having you popping in for lunch! Oh, and getting me tacos!!!
1.15pm – Yup you get afternoon blow jobs if you are working from home! 😉
3pm- feeding, burping bum cleaning done! Now having a nap, again!
5pm – oh bless Babe waking me up with a kiss on the nose!
5.30pm – I love Babe’s idea of cooking dinner, Fish, and Chips!
7pm- ok now I’m so shocked, I never thought the girls would fight over changing a poopy nappy!
9pm- Hehehe, we beat you at monopoly again!
9.50pm – I swear Connie just cries so she gets cuddled!
10.30pm – bottle, burps and bums done! And so, to bed. x
1.15am – Boobie, burps and bums done!
Saturday 21st October 2017: 7.30am- who…. What…. Where…. . Thank you for letting me sleep in and doing the whole of the morning thing, love you froggie x x x . Also, just so you know the girls love their daddy very much too!
8am – I’m up, dressed, eating breakfast, and doing my meds and neb. Kitten is making me go in to town with the babies and her, cos I need to get out the house and not let my anxiety level build up too much. Terrified, but going to do it. *determined look*
9am – Ok so bag packed, girls tucked up warm, comfortable shoe on, anxiety meds taken and off we go.
11am- I did it! So proud of me and Kitten knows best! On a flipside, I think people must think me and kitten are a couple, cos we keep hugging and kissing. I love that.
11.15 – First time breast feeding in public. No dirty looks or fuss. No need for an apron or fancy get up just used the scarf you got me. thank you, hang up got over!
1pm – Ok we are getting the bus home!
1.25pm – Did it, I’m doing well today!
2pm – late lunch, again thank you!
3pm – off to the super market, please let the girls be ok!
5 pm – oh lord, now I remember why I hate the feck super market on Saturday!
6pm- thank you for asking Steve to dinner I was really worried about him.
7.30pm – I have missed curry night! Girls are tucked up.
10.35 – last feed and now to bed!
12am – I can’t sleep 
2am- getting up cos I really can’t sleep.
2.15am – Hell, what the flip is with the dogs?!?! Mad eye has now decided that I can’t hear the girls crying and must come get me when they do! It’s very off putting to be woofed at by the sheath dog!
Sunday 22nd of October 2017: 6am – so yes, no sleep, feel like crap, need food and strong tea. Thank you for doing the girls morning feed and bath, it is going to take a lot to get this pixie ready for mass!
7.30am – You didn’t have to make me breakfast, get me in the shower or pick my cloths out. But thank you, it is such a help! I’m now going to power nap till a little before 10, like you said to!
9.50am – Smooches to babe for sorting me out. Tea, makeup, and hair done!
10.30am – Well here goes mass with two tiny babies!
12pm- Oh my god Father Michael is epic! Cuddling Evie, the whole first half was wicked!
1pm – pub lunch!
3pm – Home and power nap time! Zzzzzzzzzz
5pm – Why the feck do I have 17 potential client emails and one from &(${df7bb8344c8fbc08004428db04482721bad042a20adaf6cb6f45d2148c3c353a}! Asking me to host and run 3 courses in December? I’m on maternity leave!
6pm – Beans on toast for tea, thank you! I could not have eaten proper grown up food.
7.30pm – Bath time.
8.30pm – So yeah, I now fall asleep in the bath. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
10pm feed done, bums done, babies asleep, Little mama to bed and sleep. Zzzzzzzzzzzz
3am – dear god, never has 5 hours sleep felt so good! Mad eye came and got me to sort the girls out, again! Is he after extra sweet? Or does he think the are some weird human looking puppies? Anyway boobie, burped and bums done! I am now going back to sleep!

So that was last week and my first week of motherhood done and dusted! how was all of your weeks?

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

bdsm, Diary, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, social, Uncategorized

The diary of Pixie Heart – 12/6/17 –

Monday 12th June 2017: 6am – Up and at them! so happy and got my bounce back!!! Woke you up how I’m meant too as well!

6.20 am – yay shower with Babe! she is so kind and even shaved my legs for me! getting out to find you chose my cloths for me again made me really happy! Purple Maxie dress, no bra and black lace boy shorts, with my Birkenstocks sandles! hair up in a messy bun and light make up. I look really pregnant today :/

7am – See I is all better! I made you steak and eggs! thank you for making me my breakfast smoothy! toast and fruit for me and the girls , but aunty may is having a fry up!

8qm – do you have to go to work?! you could stay home and we could fuck?!

8.30 am – squeak! tattoos and piercing for the girls !!! thank you for my treats as well , I know and understand why I’m not allowed to get them till after sprogging.

9.15am –  ok need to pee again! could you ask you kids to stop jumping on their poor mothers blader!

10am – made it in the city, but dear god is it hot and sticky!

12am  – tattoos and piercings done! Babe did not flinch and Kitten just swore a lot. Little bear, well she cried, ouched and nearly broke my fingers off! I had to feed her spirit and animal crackers the whole time and a bar of chocolate after!

1pm – ok so back on the eating for the whole family! banana milkshake, bean bugger, sweet potato fries and fried pickles. with a massive tomato and spinach salad! don’t judge , but I want ice cream too!

3pm – Shopping done! I can’t hide my bum any more and I have actually bought maternity jean! also finally got outfits for the conferees sorted!

3.30pm – home just in time for a nap and I’m taking Kitten with me, cos I need muddles! Frenchie I passed my foundation degree! and a 4.00 GPA!

5pm – Woken up by a kiss from you! oh you are so coming to bed for a bit , I have a Kitten and I’m not afraid to use her!

6pm – see I knew we need a Dom cuddle session! I love when you put us across the bed and let us kiss and play with boobies , while you keep swooping sides and who you fuck! also love you growling heads down, bums up!

7pm – hehehe! pizza and salad take out , cos we was fucking!

8pm – bath time and Babe reading to me as a treat!

9pm – Why do I need to go to bed at 9pm and with little bear? I’m not tired!!!

Tuesday 13th June 2017 – 5.30am – Ok I was super tired! Good lord I need to pee so bad already!

5.45 am – ok can we snuggle?! and yes by that I mean I feel frisky 😉

6.30am – hehehe, that was fun and by god was it nice to make Babe come like that! Shower time now buster, you are not kissing my aunty with your beard smelling and tasting like me!

7.15 what has gotten in to you?!?! not that I did not like that .you washing me, and than bending me over  , planting my hands on the wall, pushing my feet apart and then just fucking me! oh and the shower head on pulse on my clit, dear god in heaven sweetheart!

7.30 am – ok have you got a new Lolita look kinky going on?! loving the cut off overalls and mini mouse vest top and sandles look tough! oh and by the way I love the light makeup and pigtail look!

7.45am- FOOD!!! I had a bowl of bran flakes with a banana , 2 slice of toast and a boiled egg, 3 figs and yoghurt and a massive glass of milk!

8.30am – I still have to do English lesson?! oh poop!

10.30am – Bloody hell! that was tough! Right pee time and off to look at community college for me!

12.30pm  – Yay I want to go here so bad! they have great arts and writing programs, they do a start-up your own business thing , and an amazing chace for the babies!

1.15pm – we got to meet you for lunch! salad , soup and bread ! and more fruit and yoghurt! and cuddled and kisses for me!

2.30pm – So yeah we seem to of made in to maceys again! oppsssie!

4pm – Home for a nap on the deck in the sun , and yes I have sun cream and hat on!

5pm – woken up by a kiss again! oh and ice tea, nice touch!

6pm – aunty may and little bear made chips, veggie fingers and peas and corn!

7pm – family tv time!

10pm – time to get ready for bed?! yes Boss!

11pm – bed time story was inspired chose dude! cuddles and sleepy time!

Wednesday 14th June 2017: 4.20 am – So yeah I’m awake and yeah I sort of kind of woke you up to , but baby names are not going to choose themselves Frenchie!

5.45am – So we got names sorted, birth stuff sorted and a plan for baby shopping done! thank handsome for indulging me and just letting me talk it all out of my little head!

6am – shower time , come on get your butt In their mr! little t is not going to clean himself, that is my   job!

6.20am – Clean! today I have decided to wear a blue summer dress with sandle, hair in pigtail and light make up! yes I will wear a hat and yes I will have my water bottle with me!

6.45am – I’m making waffles and bacon! mine and Kittens will have fresh fruit and yoghurt with them!

7.30 am – do you have to got to work?!? We could all go swimming or kidnap Sir beasty and …. *pouts, stamps foot and looks sad*.

8.30 am – so we have decided we need to go by mor panties at target, no really we do!

10.15am – Ok so panties seems to of turned into baby, dog and house shopping trip to target! oh and can you please talk to little bear about what she says in public and how loudly she says it please? Today we had ‘ Pixie I love reading sex toy reviews on your twitter feed, when are we going to start doing them? The 4 of us masturbate enough’ . the worse part is aunty may was doubled over laughing!

11.30am – ok So you rock frechie! getting home to find you have a massive food parcel delivered and its got a picnic for us to have on the deck, holy mother is that ace!

12.30pm – So sitting on the deck, under a sun awning and eating with the girls is heaven! so soing this all of next summer with the babies!

2.30pm – Sleepy now ….

5.10pm – awww I crashed again, didn’t I! thank you for waking me up with a kiss, but  what’s with the bag and card!?!?

5.30pm – I’m Skyping your mother I don’t care what time it is! that is like the signal most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me!

6.30pm  – So I have stopped crying , for now! no I will not take my sparkly ring off , your mamma gave it to me! Chinese food tonight and a Game off-chance! yup I think are nerd is showing!

9pm – I did not cheat! My boobies look huge all the time! why is Aunty May going to bed early again, what are you up to?!?

11pm – Mercy , I call mercy! my bits are too sensitive! good grief, where the flip do you a) come up with this, b) get your energy and c) how do you get the girl to do that?!

12pm- Ok so your aftercare rocks! bagels, hot milk , lotion , pj’s and a bed time story , night you wonderful man! x

Thursday 15th June 2017: 6.20am – Tired and sorely , can I stay in bed?!? Ok a shower with kitten it is 🙂

6.40am – Really love the fact that it would appear I’m going to be doing the bare foot and pregnant look today! I am also loving you choice of undies, or should I say a thong and that’s it! light make, hair in a mess bun , and red lippy! you know I’m horny right?!?!

7am – big breakfast! piggedout.com

8am – Do you have to go to work?! oh meetings and people be damned! *stamps foot, pouts and hides your shoes*

8.30am – chore list says to take it easy and 4 hours of writing. I want to do washing and clean the kitchen!!!!

9.30 am – So you wont stay home, you teased me to the point of coming last night and now I’m horny, resting and allowed my phone! you have been warned, Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

9.45am – boobies pic and suggestive quotes it is then!

10.30am- I can’t focus to write and I’m wriggley , please can I go read and have a wank, please!!!

12pm – soup a salad and we bread for lunch! can I 69 with Kitten , please!!!

1pm – I told you I was going tease yah! please, please,please can I go calm myself down?!?

2pm – I’m going to exploded soon! Why has Babe got her evil grin on ?

3pm – Oh you delightfully twisted sod! edging and control practice at the hands of Babe, Yummy! bring it on dude!

4pm – Nap time, Babe let me come and I is now exhausted. Zzzzzzz

5.30pm – your home a full hour early and whats in the bag??

6pm – dinner of homemade veggie starfy and sticky rice!!!

6.45pm – What’s in the bag?!?! oh and yes I love dvd in the family room!

8.15pm – Bath time with little bear. I think she might of put too much bubble bath in though?

8.35 pm – thank you for saving us an I really am sorry you shirt and tie got wet 🙁

9pm – why don’t I have my jammies?

11pm – uncle! stop, I can’t take any more, bloody fucking Norah! So you go a new paddle and toys! I need to drink a gallon of water after that. Fuck! Oh and book on bondage for babe? Christ I’m watching my step from now on!

11.30 pm bedtime story and cuddles, best after care ever invented, night x x x x

Friday 16th June 2017: 6.30 am – ok so I’m shattered , so not having caffiene  today. only 3 days left out here, don’t want to go home 🙁 So shower and get ready for the day 🙁

7am – thank you for the cuddle in the shower, I feel very small and delicate. I just want to hide :(and thank for choosing my cloths!

7.15am – toast, fruit and yoghurt , and bran flakes! really wish you could be off today, but ill have fun sight-seeing with the girls!

8am – I have been thinking , but could we read the book club book together now that I don’t have home work?! just a thought 🙂

9am – good lord what the flip does it take to get a baby girl, two subs, and pregnant little out the house?? Aunty May and Muffins!

9.45am – Ok so I don’t think I could or will ever tirer of saying , ‘Oh just taking the subway in to Manhattan’ London and paris are great to look round , but it is awesome here!

12pm – Lunch and a sit down! Cripps my feet hurt and I’m all hot! Not sure if little bear and aunty May liked the art as much as the rest of us, but will be happy with the aquarium .

5pm – Off to meet you from work! love doing this so much! and going out to eat after work to!

7pm – Stuffed! I love the fact that over here the don’t think I mental for just having side!

8pm – I’m tired out , can I just chill and watch tv? oh and can I have my foot rub early, Please???

10.30pm ok bed time story and sleeps!

Saturday 17th June 2017: 5am – So I’m freaking out , it is less that a week to the conference and I am in a different country! I should be helping them all out and pulling my weight. also I have only jus realised that I’m doing a whole flipping hour and that I am freaking on in between like amazing speakers! Thank you for saying I could get up and write. brain is moving at a million miles an hour!

6am – so got that all out my head! thank god , I never knew how much of the stuff I worry about is actually really nothing for me to worry about at all! silly pixie! so shower and get dressed , then breakfast Skype call with steve!

8am – Ok so defo nothing to worry about on the conference side of things , admin Alison is on it! all I need to do is to booster my confidence and yay!

9am – family day! ok I’m voting for sitting on the deck and reading or an Underworld marathon!

12pm – yay we finally get to have burgers on the deck cooked on the grill!

1pm- what do you mean by ‘cute’ when I eat chilles and lime;)

2pm movie time!

3.45 pm – ok so , yeah , hi….. did I full asleep again!?

5pm – One last pizza and salad blow out before we go!

7pm- eaten too much , can’t move! Movie and early night!

9pm – so I have woken up now its time to go to sleep!

11pm – hehehe! I wore Little bear out! Babe gave her a good old spanking too! But best bit was tag teaming you with kitten! I may be 4 moth pregnant , but I still got moves and I know damned well how to use them!

Sunday 18th June 2017 – 6am – up and at them buster! yup plan home day! really don’t want to go , but hopefully next time will be back with babies and back for good! So get that cute butt in the shower!

7am – everyone up, showered and ready for one last breakfast t the dinner!

8.30am – I am going to miss this place so much!

9.30 am – Ok so packing time! yay! {(not)

12.30 – Last lunch at our little dinner 🙁 can we not stay?!)

1.45pm – Keys dropped off

2.pm- I’m just going to put this here, I’m not having ago or moaning or being a brat, but I really don’t want to go home. I don’t want to deal with my family, work or the midwife. I want to stay sat on the deck , chilling and taking naps. but I have to be an adult and go home, but I just want to say I was super happy here and cant wait to come back for good.

5pm – get the feeling sir beasty might be majorly pissed at me 🙁

6.17pm- I have never been more willing to take sleep meds and just sleep the whole way home!

1/6am – I have time traveled and I’m almost home, night or morning Frenchie…

Well I have made it home to my quiet little corner of the uk! I’m kind of sad to be home, sure I get to the dogs, my god kids and nieces and nephews, but I was really happy and felt settled in New Jersey . So I will rest today and be back on top tomorrow!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

 

 

 

Diary, musings of pixie heart., social, Uncategorized

The diary of Pixie Heart – 29/5/17 to 4/6/17

So here is my diary from last week! it seems to mainly be about babies, food and fucking , but that seems to be what my life is full of at the moment! Hope you enjoy and have a giggle at my what I call ‘life’. lol

Mouse’s Diary:

Monday 29th May 2017: 5.30am – I have woken up feeling very needy and horny. But after last night’s telling off I don’t know if it’s ok to wake you up or not L Going with it being ok or a least that telling you is ok?!?!

6.30am – Right choice mouse! Got a shag and cuddles! Hustled straight in the shower with little bear and told no touching!

6.45 am – out shower to find my green fern print playsuit, matching pink bra and panties, and pink cardia laid  out waiting. Babe is on the case of trying to get my hair to coaptate and doing makeup!

7am – Pills taken, neb done, bs level 4.1. Breakfast made for me, by you. I had fruit and yoghurt, two slices of whole grain toast and a boiled egg. Reading to Aunty May.

7.30am – Walked belle, on lead for 45 mins. Puffed out when I got home. Cuddled on the sofa with kitten and watched the news. I still feel daft that I don’t understand it allL

8.45am – Home work time! Thank you for sitting with me and helping me with it. I get lost with it sometimes, but I don’t feel silly when you help me!

10.45am – Snack time – glass of milk, two breadsticks, a carrot, stick of celery, 5 radishes and 3 tbsp. of hummus. Back to writing a blog post.

11.55am – Thank you for letting me do the laundry. I know I must take it easy and rest up, but I also love doing the cloths washing, I find it calming!

1pm – BS level 5.2. Lunchtime. Grilled cheese sandwich, tomatoes, and spinach salad, with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Bananas and custard!

1.45pm – Walking at the park. Aunty May stayed home with Little bear as her tummy is still poorly. Its’s so lovely  here. I wish we could stay. I really don’t want to go home and face my family in a few weeks!

3pm – Ok afternoon snack of an ice cream and strawberry sundae rocks!

3.30pm – Nap times with Kitten and little bear! All tucked up and I was out like a light in under 5 mins, tied little mouse! Proof you really do know what’s best! Love you x x x x

4.45pm – Yay I get to cook with my little bear! Thank you, I do love cooking for the family and if the bear helps I feel like im teaching her something that is useful and worth while!

6pm – Veggies lasagne, salad, garlic bread for dinner and apple pie and ice-cream for pudding!

7pm – Bath time with Kitten! Clean jammies, slippers on and munch made! Time for DVDs in the family room (We need one of these when we move!)

9pm – Why has Aunty May gone to bed at 9 in the evening? Why are you looking so smug?

10.30pm – Ash so it was Subby practice in the living room you had planned, was it?! Ok So super fun, I was brave and a good girl! Cuddles with Kitten are the best and Babe and Little Bear got some serious freak on!!!! So, I’ve got my neb to do, meds to take and then bed time!

11pm – Bed time and story time. Bagle and hot milk for this mouse and sleep!

Tuesday 29th May 2017: 5.45am – Ok so Fitbit said I slept right through the night! So, I woke you up for a cuddle, cos well I need one! BS 4.3

6.15am – Up meds taken, neb done and shower time with babe. Come out to find my new black satin boy shorts and bra layer out. As well as my blue jersey knee length dresss and my red converses. Babe gave me boxer braids! Wearing a little bit of makeup and my contact as requested!

7am – breakfast time. Scrambled eggs, flat bread, tomatoes, spinach cheese and chillies. With a glass of OJ on the side. Blimey Babe can cook breakfast!

7.30am – Oh bum in a jock strap, English with Bob, really!

9am – Great doctors, again! I know I need to and I must but, I bloody hate it. But then I get to go to work with you J

11am – You told sir beasty on me L oh well working in your office and the view is great. I had a chocalet and banana  protein shake for my snack is that ok?! I also had some almonds! BS 7.4

1pm – Lunch time. Grilled cheese sandwiches, soup, salad and fruit and yoghurt. I’m eating like a baby dinosaur!

1.30pm – I have just noticed the is a lock on your office door!!! Can we, please……

2.30 pm – Ok so really can we please do something?!?! PLEASE!!!! BS 8.2

3.30 pm – See I told you no one would notice and that it would make you smile! But thank you for putting me on your desk and making it all about me, I cannot tell you how much I really needed that! It’s like I feel like I’m going to exploded! Ok so I will be a good girl and curl up on the sofa and nap like a good girl!

5pm – Blimey big man! I was tired! Home time! Can we do the bus?!?!

6pm – home. Aunty May mad veggie stew and dumplings. Delicious!

6.45pm – quick tidy up and freshen up, in to my new red tea dress and off to, where are we going???

7.30pm – Open mick!!! YAY! No singing of JB though, please!!!

9pm – ok you do know I’m getting funny looks being sat on your lap, right?!?

10.30 – Pizza on the way home, Yay!

11pm- Bedtime stories when you tipsy are fun! Thank you for everything about today!

 

Wednesday 31st May 2017: 6.20am – Woke up full of beans! So, can I go take Bella for a walk now?! BS level 5.2.

6.35am – well that was nice! Thank you for having a shower with me! Also, awesome outfit. Batman panties, Red maxi sundress and sandals. No bra. 😉 Hair in a messy bun and make up. Oh, and thank you for letting take the hound out on my own!

7.20am – Lovely walk with Bella and I did not even stop for bagles!

7.30am – Yay! Aunty May made soda falls for bredie!

8am – OMG! Your letting us go to the zoo, all the little off shoots of the big zoo!!!

9am – Ok I hate having to get buses in the UK, but I can do them here, why is that? I also love the fact that men get up and offer me or aunty may a seat!

10am – ZOO!!!

11.15am – Ok had 2 scoops of ice-cream and a banana as snack! Baba said it was ok!

1pm – Lunch time – Cheese salad sandwich, soup (leek and potato), apple and banana. Little bear got told about meeting people next Friday and pipped up in the lunch cue ‘Do I need to take condoms to meet them’ What the flip does she think we going to be doing?!?!?

3pm – So sorry I made Babe ring you. I just worried about missing my afternoon nap. So, I have decided at of the 3 options given, that I will go to bed and hour early. Little bear said she will come with me so I don’t have to go on my own! I had a 2 apples, cheese, and oat cakes for my snack!

5.30pm – Yay! Getting to meet you from work is ace and with all of us is epically ace! Bus home is quite fun and you smooth for caring Aunties May’s bag!

6.30pm – Mexican food and ice-cream for dinner! Bus level 8.5

7pm – I can’t do the Xbox, it makes no senses! Thank you for letting me curl up on the sofa with my book.

9pm – Bath time with the little bear!

9.30pm – Teehee! We have not been in bed all together like this in ages, well not this early! Can we play please! Bagels and cream cheese for bed time snack

11pm – 69’s, dildo’s and fucking from behind! What an end to a fabulous day, thank you x x x

12pm – So why does little bear always want to ‘chat’ before sleeping?! Oh, and remind me to get you to have a word about her wanting to wear a onesie to dinner next Friday!

Thursday 1st june 2107: 6am – Well that was a good nights sleep! Hustling me out of bed this early is not a pleasant way to be woken up, but yeah we got shit to get done.

6.20am – Well what do you expect if you’re going to make me shower with you! I will not let part of you go to work not clean 😉 Green shift dress with a white cardia and brown salt water sandals. Love my gravy bra and panties with daisy on them. Light makeup and hair pinned up at the front.

7am – So getting up too Little bears breakfast is always interesting! Ok she did good. Fruit salad with yoghurt, bran flakes and toast and jam. BS lee 7.4

7.45 – So babe packed my bag and snacks. I have veggies, oatcakes, and dip for this morning. I half a peanut butter and banana muffin and half a white chocolate muffin for this afternoon! I have Everything I could possibly need and yes, I have my water bottle!

8.15 – Ok so I am pregnant and a girl but why can’t I carry my laptop bag?! Oh, I forgot you’re in charge and it’s a man thing right! Love you and yes that was me sassing you!

9am – Yay! Office and studio time! I really could be your PA you know, I’d be a good girl and everything……

10.30am- When to get you coffee, found the breakrooms secret freezer, it has frozen yoghurt lollies, having on top of my snack!

11.30am- I’m off to get lunch. I have google maps on my phone, I have the instructions in my head and for safety I have yours and sir beasty’s number just in case!

12pm – this deli is amaze-balls! First place ever to not looking at me like I’m bonkers for wanting a cream cheese, beetroot and coleslaw sandwich on rye and they sell 7 different type of pickles!

12.20pm – Aww we are having a picnic on your studio floor!

1pm – Well now I know that the door locks and you get extra horny after a big New York sandwich. Also, I have a feeling that’s why I’m wearing a dress. Can I blow you under a sound desk later if I behave!?!?

3pm – I have 6 more slides to do and I’ve finished these bloody presentations. But for now, snack, milk, and nap time!

4.45pm – I was a tired little mouse again! Thank you for the wake up of a kiss and a cup of hot chocolate, the babies thank you! x

6pm – have I started wudderling?! Thank you for carrying my laptop bag and holding my hand J

6.45pm- Why do men keep giving up their seat for me? they don’t in the UK! But sitting down and having you lean down kissing me and rubbing my tummy is nice. Oh, and fyfi I think that people get said bump is your handy work, but if you need to make sure know then, ok! More than happy for you to push my dress up, my panties down and for you to fuck me on the bus if you need ;). pizza for tea, again. Salad and fruit and yoghurt as well!

7.30pm- Bath time with babe! She shaved my pussy for me, see that is why  I love living with women!

8pm – Jammies on and family game of monopoly, we are so rock and roll!

10pm – I swear little one cheats, or tries  to! Good plan in making Aunty May banker. Babe offering sexual favours for Mayfair be the way is not fair!

11pm – apple and cheese before bed time story is delicious! Can we do pen of the damned catch up over the weekend?! Tuck in and sleep! Bus level 6.4

2.35am – Bad dream about the twat! Thank you for letting me have cuddles and sleeping on your chest is going to help! X

Friday 2nd June 2017: 5.45am – Waking me up for breakfast now yes, I will sound grumpy but it’s nothing personal. Getting down stairs to find you made me breakfast and even used my special cup, melts me in to a puddle oh warm goo! Sitting and going through the times online and explaining things to me J

6.20am – Today I will be wearing batman panties, blue t-shirt bra, care bear t-shirt and a denim pinafore dress. With daisy converse pumps. Hair in a messy bun and light make up, but full on red lipstick. (are you going for the Lolita look babe?!) Bus level 4.1

7am – Ok so I am sat writing reports for clients and vets, before 9 am. I’m sorry but I was SOOOO board!

9am – total mood crash! Can I just stay home today, cuddle on the sofa and watch DVDs please L

10am – I can’t make the skype thing work on my laptop and I want to talk to sir beasty! L

10.30 – want to make buggers for lunch and use the grill, but its big and bloody scary! Babe is reading the instructions. I had 2 apples with maple syrup as my snack today!

11.15am – well that’s not fair! What do we eat for lunch now!?!?! Oh, and what do you mean only men touch the BBQ or Grill food on it?!?! Can Aunty may use it, she’s a grown up!

12.30pm – So I’m eating bread, cheese, apples, and ready salted crisps for lunch! Can we have buggers tomorrow? Please!!!!

1.45pm- We are off to Jersey City, Baby shopping!

2.30pm- dear god! Why , oh why did we go in the first store we found! Bloody woman was like oh your big for 15 weeks, are you sure! no, I’m just saying it and really, I just ate all the pies! then she stared tiring to sell me a $550 breast pump, I’m mean WTAF!

3pm – Ok gender-neutral baby gap shopping has made me simmer down!

3’30pm – So not home for nap. (asked babe if she will drive home and I’ll sleep in the car) hot milk and donut for afternoon snack!

5pm – home, dinner prepped and ready to go! Bus level 5.6

6pm – Veggie tagin, cuscus and green beans and tomatoes. Thank you for bringing apple straddle home for pudding!

7pm – We must go out more! Oh, fuck it I am loving family board games and DVDs, even if it means I’m old! And thank you for Indiana jones!

11pm- I did not fall asleep on little bears lap, I was merely checking for light leaks! Bagles, cream cheese and cucumber for bed time snacks are my fav! Story and tuck in time. X x x x x

Saturday 3rd June 2017: 6.45am – Wow I slept late! Feel little today, can we stay home and do stuff?!? Oh yeah got to go in to the city L

7.15am – ok I love these cut offs, thank you! Mini mouse panties, black push up bra (my boobies look obscene!) Green camisole and blue cardie. Light make up and hair in a ponytail. Bus level 3.6

8am- breakfast at the diner! Hash browns (3) grilled tomatoes and mushrooms, 3 eggs scrambled and whole grain toast and strawberry jam. glass of milk and 2 glasses of water! I’m going to go pop!

9am – thank you for letting use go by bus and not driving! I like to get the bus here!

10.30 am Yay! I love looking at art with little bear, she asks questions and I can answer them! Hot milk and donuts are a huge bonus!

12.30pm-  Bs level 7.4 . Salad and bread, with French dressing. Banana for afters! Going for a walk by the river after lunch will be nice.

2.30pm – Bs level 6.2. See that walk got my blood levels down! Now dress shopping for Friday! Yay, thank you for saying no to onesies and lb for Friday! Can I kiss kitten and touch her boobs in the changing room?

3.30 pm – bus home! Aunty May is a legend for getting 4 men to get up for her and the girls. But getting to cuddle on your lap is more fun! Sleepy though.

5pm – How am I asleep on the sofa? We were on a bus!

6pm – ekk! Take out and horror DVDs!

7pm – Ok how much food can I eat in one day! 3 slices of pizza and a massive blow of salad! Oh, chocolate cake and ice cream, go on then!

10.30am – so I feel asleep again! What is wrong with me! Ok jammies on and bed, yes boss man!

11pm – Ok horny now, need sex please! Yes, I am going to be bendy, yes, I’m flashing my butt at you and yes, I’m teasing Babe! What you going to do about it big man;)

1am – holy mother of fuck! I am so going to tease like that again. All 4 of you holding down and doing all that, oh dear god! All I’m saying is I’m not going to be able to walk the morning!

Sunday 4th June 2017: 7.30 am – blimey, not slept that soundly in ages! Housekeeping shower and yes, your cheeky sod I am clean Everywhere now! Change of clit and nipple bars to rings. Blue bra and panties. Red floral tea dress, brown sandals with a blue cardie. light makeup and hair in a bun. Bs level 3.2.

8.15am – Breakfast: two raisen and cinnamon bagels with butter and honey. Banana with yoghurt and glass of OJ. I swear I’m eating for the whole of the family, not just me and 2 growing babies!

9am – Ok we are going to Mass, you promised and we are going. So, stop telling me what you’re going to do to me, comb your hair and put a bloody tie on! *pouts and stamps foot*

9.45ama – will you please behave! We’re moving here and I would like to be able to go to mass without the priest thinking I’m some sex starved maniac!

10.30m – Well thanks for that! You nearly made me squeaky in front of a group of very posh housewives! Knob! Yes I called a knob, what you going to do about big man??? Oh, and I had cake as my snack!

11.30 am – oh dear lord! so I have now defiled 3 churches in 3 countries!

12.30 – blimey I am so hunger, again! Soup, bread, and massive salad! Bs level 6.7

1.30 – Walking Bella here is so much nicer than the UK. Thanks for coming with me. your right an hour is the most I can walk without getting puffed out, we may need to look at getting a walker nearer D-day!

3pm – Dinner is in and cooking, smoothy made for snack and I have changed out of my dress and put my t-shirt on (well yours!) can little bear have a nap with me?! Promise to sleep!

5pm – See told you I need sleep and that we would be good! Time to make pasta!

6pm – ok so duck rage works so well and it is so easy to make! Pasta with tomatoes, mushrooms, and feta for me!

6.45pm – bath time with kitten and we can have a soak!

7.30 – I do not get this Xbox obsession and I can’t play it either, so thank t you for letting me do colouring with little bear! Oh, and please stop topping aunty may’s sherry up! Knob!

9pm – Bed time snack of cheese and crackers, veggie sticks and dip and a yoghurt!

11pm – Bed time story, cuddle and then lights out! Night handsome x x x x x x

Love and hugs,

Pixie x x x x

bdsm, Diary, Poly life, Uncategorized

The dairy of pixie heart – 3/4/17 – 9/4/17

 

Dairy mouse:

Monday April 3rd, 2017: 6am – I first time in a while I have not wanted to get up! Dogs walked, Yoga done , breakfast eaten and meds and neb done. I hate not being able to eat breakfast in my own kitchen in the nude or just in my jammies! But seeing as we are all staying with my boss Mitch, I don’t think we should even go there!

9.30am – Again, I / we are home sick as hell! We would have the kids with us but we can’t and it kills! So it’s shopping for New Jersey and lunch out.

12.45pm – Little bear must be mighty sad she refused a Happy meal for her lunch! So, we have gone for the ultimate comfort food and had baked potatoes!

1.30pm – I’m so bored! The is only so much time I can shop for and only so many walks the hounds can take!

3pm – Everything is prepped for classes tonight, I am that fe up I’m having a nap!

4.30pm – So I’ve had a snack, packed a sandwich, loaded the car and Now Big Steve is driving me to training. Can I come home for cuddles?!

6pm – I do not like the 1 ½ drive to get to work on a Monday afternoon!

6.30 pm – upside of having a ‘Body guard ‘ is the mats only took mins to put out! So, let’s do this crap!

10pm – Epic evening of teaching, I should be bouncing of the walls and happy, but I just feel flat, please can we come home!

11.35pm – Ok so getting home to find my kitten in tears cos she is homesick is the final straw!

12.15am –  Thank you to the stars and back! Letting us come home is what we need. I know you just want to keep us safe and looked after , but we need you, so we are happy and not sad all the time!

Tuesday 4th April 2017: 5.45am –  Dogs walked, yoga done, breakfast eaten, meds and neb done Bags packed, girls got up, hounds loaded and we are on our way home!  Mus look like his about to hurl, think his had too much beer last night!

10am – only I decided to come home on the one day that the feck M25 turns in to stand still traffic! Not fair I really need a wee!

11.30am – Home!

12pm – how come we have food left in the house?! Have you not been eating? Worried little mouse now!

1pm – So I made a list of food and bits we need and have sent Babe and Jazzy, flanked by Steve. I have got the first of about 7 loads of washing on . Mus is sweeping and mopping the floors (again I hate people cleaning my house for me!) Nikie and me are on a blitzing the house mission!

4pm – House is clean!!! I’m cooking proper dinner and pudding. Off to walk the hounds, with the girls and mus and Steve.

5.45pm – Your home!!! See is it not nicer to be meet at the front door by your girls and a drink?!?!

7pm – See I am awesome at guessing what you need for dinner!

 

7.15pm  – Housekeeping shower, care to join!

8.15pm – Ok so I’m really fucking clean! Dear god I have not cum that hard in a very long time! So, glad I have your bite marks back on my neck, boobs, and shoulders, I feel owned again!

9pm – Yup, you cannot get better than laying naked on your own sofa and watching the TV! Thank you for letting Babe and Mus have some fun, although blimey could he get any loader? Oh, wait she’s got her Dom head on and has her tongue stud in! lol

10.15  – Bed time , play time! Oh, god you have 3 weeks of lack of supervision to make up for J just saying Frenchie;)

1am – Please , please , please let me sleep now?!?!

Wednesday 5th April 2017 – DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN! I swear I am never going to walk straight again, ever. Yoga done , dogs walked , breakfast eaten , Meds and neb done! Washing on , cloths hung out to dry and ironing the first 3 baskets done! Now to tackle the emails, admin and fucking accounts!

12pm – Christ my head hurts! Lunch, nap and then to pick up the rug rats from bee’s!

2pm – How has Tally got so much bigger in the space of 33 weeks?! and Tino can focus on people now!!! Loved the fact Taylor was looking for ‘NEEE’ . My nephew has a boy crush on my boo!

4pm – Dinner is in , dogs are walked , House work done and admin done! I am now going to play with the little ones!

5pm  – So you came home early to see me and the girls?!? So why did you make a beeline for the little ones and why have you offered to take them for a walk before dinner, on your own?!?! Softie!

6pm – diner for 8 growed ups, 2 tiddlers and a Tino without breaking a sweat!

7pm – Ok now I know you are going soft in your old age. Bathing the babies and reading them bed time stories?! Love you Frenchie!

11pm – how come I’m in bed naked with the girls and you?! I fell asleep, again didn’t I?!?!

Thursday 6th April 2017: 6 am – Up yoga done, babies up and fed, dogs walked, breakfast eaten, meds and neb done. You and the girls are harder to get up and ready then 3 under 2s how is that possible?!?

9am – Why or why, 5 adults and 3 babies to a midwife appointment, really!?!?

10.15 – Thank god for babe and her note pad! I have no idea what she said. Oh, and yes, I do blush when you go on about our selfie and when I must stop having sex and what type of sex I can have! Jesus wept I’m pregnant, not dyeing!

11 am – ok so the ‘cuddle’ before Charlie and Izzy getting here was nice!

11.30am – So I have decided to push myself. I’m taking the kids to ikea!

1pm – we made it safe! Charlie is helping me get the food, with Tino in his sling. Izzie has tally and Taylor and is getting high chairs and a table. I swear we are not normal, the kids around us are screaming for chocolate and ice-cream! My lot ae tucking in to salad , grilled chicken and bread!

1.45 pm – Ok now I know were weird! Charlie and Izzy are walking round and showing things that want when we move. Tino is kipping in his sling, Taylor is chatting away and blowing kisses at all the ladies and tallie is sitting on every sofa and chair! They are wonderfully bonkers and I love them all!

3.15pm – So that is IKEA done! I have bought new glasses, 2 new vases and some bedding stuff. I got new boxes for our toys! We are now having ice-cream!

4.30pm – home! Dogs walked and then to make a quick tea!

6pm – it does amaze me how you all turn up on time for tea! Does that mean I have you well trained!? And does that mean I’m getting a spanking later?! 😉

8pm – baths, stories and bedtime done! Now it is time to play!

11pm – Yummy! I do love it when you tell people what to do to me! Steve is , mmmmm and Mus maybe a grumpy shit at times, but god does that man have moves! Tee hee hee , slightly unfair to let the bear at him! I still don’t like paddles though! Oh and fyi , nipple clamps did make me cum!

Friday 7th April 2017: 6am – up, dressed, kids up and dressed. Breakfast , meds and neb done . Dogs walked, ironing finished and beds all changed. Girls breakfast done .

10am – So we are off to play at the park! It’s like I’ve packed for a small milatrey operation! Tally, Taylor and Tino are all awake and Charlie wants to run to the park. Izzie is being a huge help and carried my handbag !

12.30pm – So we are off to north cuts for lunch! Taylor managed to pull himself up on the park bench! (must ask bee if he is doing that at home!)

2pm – Home for naps!

3pm – Fab you’re working late, due to someone not getting out of bed! Yes, I’m prissy, as it seems Kitten and Babe have said they will work and Jazzy has gone to the mums. We had plans for a girlie night. FML!

4.30 pm 0 Dogs walked again. Home for home work and tea!

5.30pm – Good lord , how much food do kids put away!

6.45pm – Babies bathed and in bed asleep! I’m a childcare ace!

7.30pm – Charlie informed me that he is having a shower and reading himself a story!

8.45- Izzie is in bed asleep. Kind of bummed I’m on my own on a Friday night L

9.15pm  – I don’t like being on my own! So, I have written a letter, finished my course work and I’m now going to start writing this C&FUR course!

10pm – Call from Jazzy to say their car broke down! Thank god, I thought something really bad had happened or they would rather work than be at home! Sorry I went all needy and silly, I still get days when I think this is all going to come crashing down on me and I still don’t believe 100 {df7bb8344c8fbc08004428db04482721bad042a20adaf6cb6f45d2148c3c353a} that people like me for me! I know I get punished and I know I needy to work on that side of things. I will do better!

11pm – well your home and punishments have been handed out!

12.15am – even when your mad at us you still love us! Thank you x x x

Saturday 8th April 2017: 6.15am – Up , dressed , breakfast done and meds and neb done. Dogs walked , yoga done and house tidied! Babies up, fed and clean. Thank you for taken Charlie to the café with you and the boys for breakfast! Issie and I are going to do the gardening! Sorry Tally woke you up by licking your foot ,  know idea what is up with her!??!

11.45 am – Not sure if I should be worried about Tally?! She seems obsessed with licking people and the dogs! She has spent this morning running around in just a t shirt and nappy, she will not leave uncle Fred alone and sat on the bottom stair for the postman so she could blow kisses at him! Any way Thank you for Tinos bouncer, he spent an hour squealing like a pig! Thank you again for taking Taylor and Charlie to the park! X

12.45 – Uncle Fred really does know how to make a woman happy. Soup , salad and bread and a massive jug of ice tea!

2pm  – Gardening done and tidied away! Time to walk the hounds again!

3.45pm – I can’t stand the taste of wine what is going on!

4.55pm – My darling frog, just because you’re a man does not mean you can BBQ meat and BBQing said meat does not count as cooking dinner! WE are doing the salads, the bread, the corn, the sweet potatoes and sorting the table and drinks out!

6pm  – See I told you so! Spanking later?!?!? But thank you for letting us have a BBQ, perfect end to a perfect day!

9pm  – Ok singing round the fir pit was the perfect end to the perfect day!

12pm – Ok play time was the perfect end to the perfect day! Love you! x

Sunday 9th April 2017: 6am – yoga done, dogs walked with the girls, home to find you not only up, but fed the kids and babies, with Tino strapped to you and Tally and Taylor in just their nappies! WTF! Thank you for clarifying that it is easier to wipe down the little ones instead of changing their cloths and of course it makes perfect sense that Tino is strapped to you cos he kept cry and wanted cuddles! Silly me!

10am- How long does it take to get 4 women ready for a day at the lido?!?! Well we need to make sure we look perfect , right!

10.30am – Lido!

12pm – So I have swam, played in the pool, got stared at and eaten ice cream! I am now going to sit under the sun shade and eat my lunch! I’m very sorry I giggled at you trying to get Tally in to her swim gear, to put sun cream on her and a hat, but it was funny! J

3pm – Nope I was reading not sleeping honest!

4pm – Home and ahhhh! Me and the girls loved our family day, thank you ! x oh and yes my boobies are sun burnt!

6pm – Ok so I did full asleep that time , but ….. Can we get take out for dinner?! Deliveroo?! Please?!

8pm – So yes, I want to do my home work on a Sunday night!

9pm – so I am coming to bed now, oh great and powerful master!

12pm – Christ I need that! Cumming 5 times always makes me want food and super sleepy!

So that was my week! posting it today as I have to be out the house at silly o’clock tomorrow!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

bdsm, Diary, Poly life, social, Uncategorized

Diary of Pixie Heart – 13/3/17 to 19/3/17

 

Diary: Mouse

Monday 13th march 2017: 6am – Ahh! Ok so yeah, shattered still! Up, yoga done dogs walked and meds and breakfast eaten, Neb done. Showered, dressed and hair and makeup done! Little one is over the moon that her new bra fits and said she feels sexy!

9am – Cardiff here we come.

11am- Ok how quickly do you think 4 girls can pee?!?! And yes, I do need hot milk and a gingerbread man, thank you very much!

12.30pm – Dear god, I have never in the 13 years I have known babe seen her lose her calm , strong woman front , but dear god! Thank you for being her rock for the day, she needs you and us, my poor , brave girl!

3pm – thank you for saying Babe can stay at her mum’s tonight, she needs to be with her family and needs understanding and love. Hate it when she is not home , but here is where she needs to be! Thank you my love x

6pm – Only just made it home in time to get changed and back out to work! see you later big man!

11pm – Well I’m shattered! Bloody fuming, do I have the word MUG on my forehead or something?!? How dare Bloody Lucy change the time of classes, what we teach and how dare she think she has the right to set dates for classes! Jesuses Christ in the head instructor, I had 2 weeks off sick and she thinks I need her to take over ‘Running orders and Classes timetables’. Well , she is in for a shock. I must go to the committee with mishandling complaints and about her style of teaching. We are force free and work to a ‘do no harm’ ethic, so well she is in for a big old shock! Rant over, bed time story and cuddles with you and sleep! Love you foggy! X x x

3.45am – Bloody dream about the fucktard and waking up crying again is not how I wanted to wake up! But I was a good girl, took my sleep meds and cuddled back in to Kitten, and was soon fast asleep again!

Tuesday 14th March 2017 : 7.30am – OH MY FLIPPING GOD! I slept so late!! Thank you Kitten for walking the big dog, thank you my little bear for taking the little dogs and thank you for letting sleep, I needed that big time! So, in cooking breakfast!

9am – Ok so washing all done and out drying, ironing under way and then packing for holibobs! Wish you could come and did not have to stay and work or sort the net gremlins out L But I get to look at your cute baby pics with your Nona, so ….

12pm – ok you coming home for lunch and a quickie is always fun and making us all come is EPIC! What has got in to you?!?! But thank you for the bite marks in my boobs and shoulder, now everyone will know who’s I am! And yes I’m wet writing that and horny and blushing like hell!

1.45 – Thank you so much! Dog and house sitter in the form of the boys! So I know my dogs, my house and you will be looked after for the next 2 weeks!!!

4pm – Oh dear, call from father Michael to say aunty may is ‘rather happy’ and can I come get her! She is 81 years old, I’m her great niece and I’m the one picking up a drunk! Oh, lord I think her and you mum, plus the girls in Rome is going to be, FUN!

5pm – Really wish you was home , aunty may is being a little difficult and she would just comment about your bum and flirt with you!

6pm – thank you for coming home right on time! Aunty may meant you have a nice bum silly head. She and jazzy have been stalking my Instagram feed. Poor beasty, never going to leave him in a room with bear or may after a few drinks! They would rape the poor man . (hell, we all would, but hay J

 

7.50pm – oh for fucks sake I am putting a very drunk aunty to bed! Trying to take her bra off by pulling it down her body and getting it stuck cos knicker and skirt got in the way… Yes, the women in my family should come with a health warning, but in that bad, am I?!?! I’m locking are bed room door tonight, knowing my luck she come in to find me giving you a blow job and give me pointers!

8pm – Housekeeping shower! Yay you got me clean big time! I do love when you just bend me over and fuck me, I needed that and I still want more Frenchie! Bed time?!?! And I don’t want cuddles!

11pm – holy fucking god! Should of known you had a few tricks up your sleve for tonight. 69’s, no hands, spankings, strap on and nipple and clit clamps! Having to change the sheets before sleeping is always a good thing! I do love the twisted basterd side of you my darling!!!

Wednesday 15th march 2017.: 5 am – Ok, up, dressed, breakfast and out the door in 3o mins is AHHHHH! How has may not got a hang over ?!?! Airport here we come!!!! Miss you already! X x xx

7am – can we please , please , please get the little bear some help for her fear of flying , other than a huge amount of sedative?!  A very giggly , little girl , is a very hard to get on a plane! Thank god for Aunty may and Leonie!

10am – Flight went without any of cuasing a major international insurgent, so Yay! Little one was asleep like 5 mins after take-off! And now you will pleased to know we are off to the hotel and we are taking a cab!

10.45am – please, please, please don’t ever make me get a in a sodding cab in Rome ever again!!! On knees, begging and eyes down cast. Please?!?!?!

11am – YAY! Thank you for the awesome rooms! Twin for your mum and aunty may, and a double, double for us! Oh, and I squeaked when I opened my case and found my little cidders in there! And he smells of you! Love you froggie x x x

12pm – Propper Italian street food! I am in love with this place and I’ve only been here for 2 hours!

 

2pm – Humph! Being made to go back to the hotel to take a nap, really?! I know , I know , poorly , need to rest , blah, blah!

3.30pm ok so sightseeing this time of day is cool! So, so, so glade that your mum is with us, it’s like having are on-tour guide! Aunty may is on good form and being very funny.

5.45pm – Back and time for a shower and tidy up for dinner. I’m even going to wear a dress , just cos I can!

6.30pm – I love having babe and little bear about when getting ready to go out, I have pretty hair and just enough makeup to stop me looking like died! And having the same colouring means we only need the one make up bag!

7pm – Ok I normally hate hotel restaurant, but this one is good. The fact it has 4 veggie mains , as well as 4 veggies starters , side salads that you have a choice of dressings and deserts that sound nice and light!

8.15pm – ok don’t laugh too hard , but I got nerves and got the fidgets and kind of got my finger stuck in a wine bottle. Had to sit in a chiller for 10 mins to get it off L

9pm – Oh my good god! I am in love with the pare and walnut crumble with honey ice cream!

10.30pm – Ok off to bed we go! My aunty may is tipsy, Babe is tearful and little bear is fulling asleep on her feet! So it is an early night for use.

11.30pm – Good night Skype , You big softie! X x x

Thursday 16th march 2017: 7am – will I ever sleep passed 8am ever?!?! Nope! Shower time with Nikie ,

neb, dressed and hair and make up done!

8am – Breakfast, I do love a hotel breakfast! Have I said I really like breakfast????

9am – morning of sightseeing and yes, I’m doing the flipping Spanish step!

10.30am – ok a swear aunty may is me when I was a teenager! Walking up the sodding steps , only to get to the top and say , very load ‘fuck me , that’s a long way to climb when your sober’ . oh, and she got a random monk to carry her bag half way up the steps. Bear seems to be having a klutz day. she tripped up 3 times get up them and 2 time on the way down! Your mum and may won’t let us walk next to each other, out of fear us killing someone! RUDE!

12.15pm – Lunch! I swear I could eat a bloody horse , I think it’s the fresh air!

2pm – Ok I think everyone should be made to do bus tours of Rome, was amazing!

3.30pm – Ok I did need a nap today, snuggling with Bear is the best ever!

5pm – Now I’m on holibobs, but I’m doing homework. I just don’t want to get to far behind and I don’t want to get bad grades J

6pm- thought, having to think about what in going to wear for dinner and stopping and getting tidy is nice. Could we eat at 6.20pm at home? So I can make myself look pretty , oh and the girls have to do it to!!

7pm – Loving dinner tonight, Babe ordered for all of us in Italian!

9pm – Teehee, little bear and kitten be drunk! The waiter told babe she had very good oral skills, to which aunty may told him off!

9.45 – Bed time skype again! Getting us all naked and well make are selves come, FUCK ME was that HOT!

12pm – play time was epic! I think holding Babe down was a nice touch if I say so myself!

Friday 17th march 2017: 7am – Squeak breakfast date with just me and kitten! Love , love , love this! Not done this in ages!

8.30am – So I’m off to mass in a strange country with aunty may, what could go wrong, right?

10am –  OK I am not a religious nut, but in in the Vatican!!! Your mother knows so much stuff, it’s like having a posh tour and not having to pay for it! Even Babe was impressed by the it all!

12.30pm – I have eaten too much at lunch! Why is all the food so delicious!!

3.30pm – sightseeing done for the day, so we are back to the hotel for a nap. Done willingly today, I can hardly keep my eyes open.

5.30pm – Early dinner, and then posh frock, hair, and makeup, as we seem to be go to the opera tonight!

8pm – Off we go to see Opera in its rightful home!

11pm Just home and straight to bed, in buzzing!

Saturday 18th march 2017: 7.20am – Up, neb done, meds and breakfast done! Now shower time and decided what to wear for a walking tour of Rome!

9am – Aunty May is resting for the morning, as is your mum, so with babe in charge, off we go. Oh, and Kitten has the map not me!

12.30 – We made it to are lunch meeting spot on time and without getting lost! We are having a light lunch and then off to look round a museum!

4pm – great afternoon! How does your mum explain stuff without me feeling thick? I’m sure normal people know this stuff and I missed it at school, cos I was looking out the window at the flowers or sky!

6pm – Family style dinner!

9pm – Skype call before bed! yay, but really making me do that to all the girls??? Was much fun!

11.30pm – Playtime was great fun this evening! Babe is amazing as always, thank you for letting us play!

Sunday 19th march 2017: 7.45am – Holy cow I slept late! Lush breakfast with everyone, meds taken and neb done!

9am- shower time and packing. Kitten got stuck under the bed again!

10am- Train station and on the train to Naples! We have all decide to brain storm the story thing beasty suggested, With the help of your mum and aunty may. Your mum has good ideas but aunty may be full of smut!

11.30 – I have learnt that trains in Italy are better than in the up, in not good with peeing on a moving train and aunty may is a Kinky thing!

12.15 – please remind me if babe says it only a 10 min walk to the hotel to not trust her, ever again!

1pm – Squeak proper pizza for lunch and I had salad too! I also had a small glass of wine, but I did have 3 glasses of water too!

5pm – Again if babe ever says fallow me I know the way, do not trust her at all! I thought Brighton had strip hills and winding lanes! Loved it though!

7pm – I fell asleep for 45 mins and got woken up with a kiss from kitten! Love her so much x Dressed in a dress for dinner, not sure what people are going to make of my tattoos, but hay who knows!

9pm- again nice dinner! Ok, think we need more big family dinners when we get home!

9.30pm – I’m having a bath with Little bear!

10pm – Skype Call to read us a bed time story! SOFTIE!

11pm lights out, big day planned meeting your Nona again! Excited!

Afternoon everyone! I was meant to post this , this morning . (opppsss) . But I’m on Holibobs in Italy , and I was half way up mount Etna, so…..

Sorry for not being around as much as I said I would but I was sick and in the hospital and then I was working my little Irish butt off at crufts! But I’m back now and even got a post ready for Thursday!

Toddle,

Pixie x x x