broken brained, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

Pixie’s prompt – Music be the food of love….

Pic 3 pieces of music that mean different things to you. Explain what they mean to you and why? How do you feel when you hear them? What do you think of when your hear them?

The town I loved so welll , by Phil Coulte. (the High Kings version).

This is a song that was written by Phil Coulte of the Dubliners and it’s about his childhood growing up in a town called Derry in Northern Ireland. For me it takes me back to my childhood in Belfast and Armagh. I have some very happy memories of my childhood, which this song reminds me of. But on the flip side it reminds me of the troubles in Ireland. It also for me sums up the people of the towns I grow up in. Fiercely proud of are roots, Loving, caring and are refusal to let the troubles impact on are lives. It makes me happy and sad at the say time, with a little bit of home sickness thrown in for good measure.

One more light, by Linkin Park.
So this song is not the happiest of songs, and a few weeks after this song came out the leader sing of the band took his life. But I can really relate to it on a lot of leaves. When I’m really depressed I feel like my light goes out and that people cant see me. I love how this song sort of tells you that if your light really were to go out that it really would mater to people. That your not just one more light to go out and that we all mater. But I can also feel the pain of the person say that it would mater to them, reminding me of the pain I have felt when my friends have past away or try to hurt themselves . it a beautiful song that reminds me that no matter how bad I feel someone would miss you.

I’m Yours, by Ron Pope.

This was the song that maîtriser and I had been first dance at are wedding to, so it brings back memories of that. But it was also a song that he would sing to me as I was recovering from trying to end my life. Thinking about it I guess maybe it was his way of saying “oi, your daft cow I love you” But I was so poorly, both mentally and physically at the time, just nothing sunk in. But know when I hear it I just feel a rush of love and want to hug maîtriser. IT also reminds me that his mine and I’m his, for the rest of are lives!

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

New year, Better me!

New year, Better me!
Well 2017 is gone and I find myself in a reflective mood. For a lot of people, I know 2017 was not the best of year. With loss, illness, big ass storms and Donny-j. For me it was full of lows and highs. It was the year my daddy got sicker, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I lost friends and family and my depression and anxiety decided to kick me in the butt. But it was also a year of great personal growth for me. I found my fit as a wife, blogger, and feminist. But by fair the best thing of 2017 was becoming a mother to my beautiful twin girls. I know a lot more to life that being a mum, but when you have thought for many years that it is something you’re not going to get to do. Well when you do, it blows your mind. I never knew I could love something so deeply and fiercely as I do them.
I have seen loads of people posting their new year resolutions, but you won’t be seeing any from me. We don’t make them, as maîtriser thinks it away of setting yourself for an unnecessary fail. What we do is sit down and make a list of targets and goals we want to work towards and plan how we can achieve them. it’s something we do every 3 months and we cover pretty much every aspect of are lives. Even maîtriser does it and will let us set goals for him! We sat down on Friday last week and did are lists. This is where I admit that I love the whole planning side of this. I get to get all my gel pens and stickers out. It’s really good fun!
Some of my goal for the next 3 months are: Loose the last of the baby weight and 15lbs extra, run my dogs at crufts, attend eroticon, pitch some ideas at other blogs, do my muck run training, more swimming lessons and get my new and improved blog up and running!
Maîtriser has also sat down with my and we have set some goals for my blog. Such as post a min of 3 times a week, keeping up to date with emails and upping the number of followers to my blog. Lol one of my friends got me a bloggers journal and a diary that is designed for people who have autism, that have been amazing. They are fun, clear, easy to use and don’t feel like they are shouting at me. So, yay!

I have also decided that I want really work on my English. Not just writing, but spelling, grammar, punctuation and understanding. This came about after several nasty comments about my spelling and grammar. I’m dyslexic and have Anxious ADD, so that makes learning and understanding really flipping tough at times. adding to this I grow up speaking a mix of Irish Gaelic and Russian you can see why English is something I have ongoing struggles with it! But I have Bob my English tutor tailoring lessons for help with this. Also, Sir Beasty is stepping in to help with editing my work, so it’s a case of bring it on!

So, as I wave good bye to 2017, I’m hitting the ground running in 2018, so bring it 2018!

Hugs,

Pixie x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 23 & 24 of the Submissivs Advent calendar, by Submissive Guide – Twinkling stars and lights & Spirt of submission.

So you may have noticed that this my last post and this one are going out on Christmas day. Things have been a little made round here for the last few day, and that is saying something! All the girls are done with work till the new year, we have Emit and Steve staying, my mother-in-law arrived yesterday to stay as well. I spent 7 hours in A & E with Steve , after he split his head open after fainting. Added to this that I forgot to get half the food shopping we needed and still forgot the carrots , so I had to do a emergency shop at 7.45 last night. Well yeah, it’s been mental. Then this morning Little Bear got the whole house up at 5.15 am to do stockings, I may be found in a corner asleep at this rate!

So on to Saturday’s activates, the focus of which was lights and stars , and how they can leave you in awe of their beauty and light. The first activate was called look at all the lights. The idea was for you to wrap up warm and take a walk around the area you live in and look at all the Christmas lights. The second was call , What awes you? . It was a reflection on what leaves you in awe around the winter session. Well I did both!

What I did was wrap myself, the babies and two of the dogs up , and went for a nice long walk round the local area to look at the lights. I used my alone time to do this, I get an hour a day that I can do what ever I want. it was amazing and really beautiful , if not a little cold. the most breath –  taking site had to be the light that come form the cathedral. Sat right in the middle of the town, on a hill and flood light. it is just stunning and always makes me feel like I’m home. As for what I’m in Awe of? well So many things. How loving and giving people are, my little poly family and what the boss man does for us all. Then is my great aunty may , at 82 she is still as feisty as ever and still kick butt when she needs too!

So on to Sunday’s activity and their focus, which was the spirit of Submission. It gave a famous quote , by Rumi ‘ There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground’ . This point of the quote for submissive is that the are so many different ways to submit. The first activity was to think about the quote and how you have shown as a submissive this year. the second was to think about the holidays and how it relates to your submission. I chose to do the first.

The were some hand little points to think about, so I have used them , here is what I came up with.

  • How has your submission shone this year? Well I have had a massively busy year, but I have now got to the point that I know what I am expected to do, without be asked to do it. I have also done nearly everything I have been asked to do with grace and a smile. I’m not going to say its all been easy, some of the things I have been asked to do have really push me out of my comfort zone, but I have done them. Properly the biggest thing for me is that I have actually spoken up for myself and also asked for help when I need it, which is something I have really had to try hard with. Are roles have also changed a lot this year. With the growth of the CG/l and the CNC parts becoming a very big part of life. I have also become a lot softer and more relaxed with myself, that has led to me being happier and more settled .
  • What can you d to enhance your feeling of submission in the coming year? Oh well that is a tough question! Well I have asked that I am allowed to wear my proper leather collar more, so I will know be wearing that at home in the day time if I’m on my own. I have also hand over a lot more to maîtriser over the last few months, and I would like for us to step things up a little more , I’m just not sure how or in what way. a few people have suggested TPE or Master / slave dynamic , but that would not work for me, as I can’t ring and ask to be allowed to go to the loo , I need to be able to think on my feet. I mean I run a business, have 7 dogs and 2 small babies!
  • Where are you in your Journey? Are you stuck at a fork in the road or are you traveling on easy street? How would you describe your current situation? Well I would say I’m happy, settled , in love and proud. I think maîtriser has got me to a point that I am kept guessing what is to come, but it does not make me anxious or to off kilter. I hope and pray that things remain this way for a long time to come , but I am sure that , we as a family can deal with anything that comes up!

Well sadly that is the end of my Advent Calendar! but maîtriser has decided that his going to be giving more bloggy-woggie-do-dah challenges in 2018, So YAY!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

family update, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 11 of The Submissive's Advent Calendar, by submissive guide – Pancake identity.

Well Good evening my lovely’s , how has your day been? Anyone snowed in? Or are you all stuck with the horrid wind and rain that we’ve been having? Today has been a day of two halves for me. the first half was full of cooking, baking , clean and crafting. Then it turned to crap this afternoon, but more about that later.

so todays activities are based on a chapter from a book called Conquer me , by Kacie Cunningham, about her own submission. The chapter is tittle ‘this one time at Pancake Camp’  and the is a short excerpt from the book, about titles and labels and how the writer was feeling she did not feel fit them. She goes to say that she was talking to her Master over breakfast and telling him of her frustrations, and how she was not going to ascribe to them any more and that from that point on she would be known as pancake. when asked why pancake her you chose reply was ‘Because you chose pancakes! Because you obviously like pancakes! pancakes are simple, honest things, not all high-mantence like , say, crepes. I want to be something you would order!.

Both the activities are reflecting on the words we use to identify are selves , as submissive. The first was a simple reflection on the words, titles and how they make us feel. the second was to take the reflection and turn them in to an ornament. by taking one word traits like ‘love’ loving’ , then drawing or printing out an image that represents that word and making them pretty and fun using craft surplus. I was going to do the first , but then changed after I got some bad news.

The words and titles I identifier with are Submissive, Little and masochist . The masacist title is something that I kept well hidden for a very long time, as for me it was kind of hard to admit that I liked pain and being hurt, and most people don’t like that. The same with submissive, I mean who would admit to loving their partner dominating them. but as I got more in to the D/s life I saw that I was ‘Normal’ . but it still took a long time to really embrace it fully. Little is something I have found much easier to embrace, and I think this is I saw really positive images of littles and I really read up on it before hand. I knew I did not fit the classic DDlg little or AB little. I’m not in to age play, I don’t call My Dom daddy , and I don’t really have a bratty side. I do have a baby girl side , I like being looked after and I do have my own ‘little space’. I guess that Its more of a caregiver , little thing. I feel my labels fight real well now, but its taken a lot of time. We/I kind adapt the labless mean what we/ I need them to be. sort of they evolve as we grow and change as people.

So now for my bad news. Just before 5 this evening I got a phone call from my Great Aunty Betty saying that my Great Aunty Molly had passed away this morning following a massive stroke yesterday. She was 90 years old and the head of my daddy’s side of the family since my Nana died. She had a bad heart, artheritus and dementia, so really it was a happy release. But it still hit like sucka punch to the stomach and it sitle hurts. Anuty Molly was an amazing lady, who has always marched to her own beat. whether as a young girl who refused to leave school without  taking her exams. or the feisty Irish lass, who ran away to join the wrens and worked as a radio operater in ww2 .or the brave woman who kicked her husband out and divorce her husband , when he beat her. She was amazing , strong , feisty, outspoken and loving. So I have decided not to be sad , but raise a glass , kick up my heals and celebrate having this lady in my life for 37 year!

Right , now I really must go to bed and sleep. I’m off to a Christmas market in the morning!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

 

 

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 10 of the Submissive's Advent Calendar, by Submissive guide – Spreading good cheer.

Well good evening to you my lovely kinkies and perverts! How has you weekend been? anyone had snow? I have had a very busy, tiring , yet extremely satisfying weekend, working. I had thought that after having the twins and being away from my job for 4 months that my brain would have turned to mush, that my anxiety levels would be of the chart and that people might look at me differently. Nope, nope, and Nope! I am blessed to work with amazing people and they always give me the help, support and encouragement I  need.

So on to today’s focus, and that was about spreading some seasonal cheer. in a world that is So busy and stressful this time of year. Tempers are frail and people can be rude , uncaring and grumpy. So todays activity were ways to not only improve your mood, but those around you. The first activity was to stop, look in the mirror and smile. Smiling lifts your mood and energy levels , and it can spread like the flu! So the task was to try to keep smiling for as much of the day as you could. The second activity was for those who find smiling hard or can’t smile for a whole day. it was entitled Bells . i told of th tradition of jingle bells and how the were used to ward of evil spirits . but newer days are a quick and easy way to bring cheer and smiles to people. it suggested attaching a bell to your bag or purse and spreading cheer where ever you go! i already have a bell on my bag for work, cos it some times gets left by the dogs and they have a habit of going through my blinking bag! So i went for the first activity .

Now this was no easy task for me, cos i don’t really go round smiling that much. I have quit bad social anxiety. i avoid making eye and talking to people a lot of the time , but as with a lot of things , I’m working on it! Also i genuinely look frightening if try to smile and think about it at the same time, think Sheldon Copper trying to smile in the big bang theory , and that is me! So i kind of decided that i would think about things that make me want to smile. It worked wonders and also lifted my mood greatly . I was smiled at the reception lady , my boss and students. The first thing i notice was that my mood soured when people smiled back at me and that people stopped and said i looked happy and full of life. It was defiantly contacts as everyone was so much happier and full of beans. It also had the knock on effect of me sitting with people at lunchtime and talking, something that i can’t normally do! finished up the day and the Boss Man arrived with the babies to drive me home. I did no more than throw arms round him and give him a big kiss , right i front of people, another thing i don’t normally do. So all in all i think I’ll try the whole smile thing a bit more often!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

PS – I have just read the fed back i got for the course i led , people loved it and thought i was a good teacher!

+

bdsm, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, socail, Uncategorized

#SoSS , sharing the love for the ladies.

So it’s Saturday and I feel the need to share so love for my fellow lady bloggers. Cos this week has been tough, not only for me and the girls at home, but also for a lot of my online twitter friends. I guess it’s the time of year and the stress a lot of people are under with home, family and work. I know that I am bloody lucky to only be working 2 days in December and that I really love my job. I know that my darling Kitten and Babe are really feeling it at the moment, so I thought I would so the ladies a little bit of love today!

What type of dominated are you, by Kayla Lords , Loving BDSM.

So this article went with Fridays Podcast and it goes in to the different styles of Dominates that the are. I know very well that the are loads of different type of submissive , and I knew the are different types of dominate out there. I mean the Boss man is a total Sadist , but he is also a caregiver / numeral . Then are Babe is a very strict disaplineran , but also has a gentle caring side. Kayla has managed to get across a lot of the types the is, but also makes the point that you should be what ever type of dominate that you feel drawn to being. It’s written with clam passion and humour that unique way that is only Kayla Lords!

Feeling Secure within Alternative Relationship Models, Floss, Flossdoeslife.com

This piece by the lovely Floss just blew me away. I can totally get what she means and understand how she feels. I for so many years felt that I had to try to fit and be what other people think I should be. But when I finally stopped listening to other people and started living an open and honest life, well I got my happy back. So for someone else to put how I feel in to words , well yeah , wow! Thanks Floss. X

Tips for taking a sexy selfie, Candysnatch

Now I have to make a confession , I hate when men or women strut round posing and pouting, taking selfies. That being said I don’t mind smiley , silly selfies and I am in awe of people who can snap a sexy selfie, cos I know I bloody well cant. but I really want to be able to send sexy pics to the boss man , but had till this week no idea where to start. So when Candy’s peace showed up on my twitter TM , I thought I would give it a read. It is a great piece, full of tips and tricks, with some pretty hot pics! But above all it is written with , I think with a massive dose of body possertive self-love , that boosts your conferenced in yourself! (don’t know if that was the aim) So I have been practicing at home, I have got some sexy new undies and I’m going to be blowing the up a certain French mans’ phone!

The top 10 sex mistakes that people are still making, by Cara Sutra

Ok this piece made me giggle and nearly chock on my lunch on Friday. But it is so true people really do make these types of mistakes all the time. I mean we all full in to bad habits and after being with someone we love and feel comfortable around , we let things slip some times. Funny , informative and well written. So worth a read!

The bad parents guide to sex , by Aurora Glory.

Another piece that had me in fits of giggles, I was giggling so hard I had tears streaming down my face . Being a new parent I have this all to come, so this is a great way to get me thinking about things to come. Written with a great amount of humor and wit, I loved everything about this, So thanks chick! x

Well that’s it from me!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

Diary, From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

Day 7 of the Submissive's advent calendar, By Submissive guide – Random acts of kindness

So before I start this I have a confession, I sort of read todays entry last night and started planning in my head what I was going to do last night, Bad pixie! right that said to days task was to think about how helping others , feeds are need to submit. Then it explained that todays task was to perform at least one ‘Random act of kindness’. something nice that would surprise someone and brighten their day. The was also a handy list of ideas to help you think of something to do!.

Now this is where I got excited.  maîtriser will quite often set us the task of doing RAK on are daily task list and I really love doing them. It helps improve my sense of self-worth, pushes me out of comfort zone, in a good way and I get to help people! So me and little bear got out a pad of paper and the gel pens and started to make are plan. So this morning we hit the road running and this is what we have done so far.

  • We took the old sleeping bags and winter coats to the salvation army.
  • We boxed up all the old , used dog bits laying round the house and sent the off to a greyhound rescue.
  • bought and then donated food to a local food bank (£30 can go a bloody long way!)
  • Made wash bags full of basic hygiene bits and took them to a local domestic violence charity.
  • we bought Tea and a Toasted tea cake for an old lady in Tesco’s who had lost her purse.
  • Took tea and biscuits to the work men trying to fix a water leak in are street.
  • Text 5 of are friends that we know have a hard time at this time of year, say we love them and that we are always about if they need to talk.
  • I’ve typed up little bears notes for her
  • I did all of babes ironing for her.
  • We have made cakes for Aunty May to take to the catholic ladies tomorrow
  • Made soup and bread for the lady over the road who has a poorly leg and can’t get out.
  • Little bear cleaned my van out for me!
  • I’ve mended Kittens dress that got a rip in it.
  • Made maîtriser favorite dinner for him (his not allowed to much fat in his diet)

all this has left me feeling happy , but it also has left me feeling a little blue as well. people that we did stuff for seem shocked that people would actually stop and offer help or kindness. If you think about it , I guess it is something that not a lot of people would actually do just for the sake of it. So after a lot of thinking I have decided that next year is going to be a year of Rak, pay it forward and volunteering for this little Pixie!

So see you all tomorrow!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

From the heart, Letters from the heart., musings of pixie heart., Uncategorized

letters from the heart….

At the weekend I celebrated one year of marriage to the most amazing man in the world. I don’t say this lightly , but I’m still here because of him. I meet him through Kitten when I was 18 . He was her Dom, but he soon became one of my best friends. He looked out for me when I went out on the fetish scene, guided me and offered advice . We remained friends even when a lot of people walked out of my life due to not being able to cope with me staying in an abusive relationship. are friendship never cross the line in to lovers till years later, although it turns out we both had crushes on each other. When I tried to take my life , and was stuck in hospital and it looked like I was going to be sectioned, he and his girls swooped in and took over. They helped me get well, worked on fixing my broken head and body and supported me till I was able to get back to work. He became my Dom, but the was no sex for the first few months. It was more of a way me have some control in my life and learning to trust people again. Then one night I got fed-up of being horny as hell and only having my hand as company , I crawled in to bed with him , and you can guess the rest!

It has been far from plan sailing. My mental and physical health still needed a lot of work. neither of us would use the L word for a long time. I have a very vivid memory of Sir Beasty joking that I was ‘his girlfriend ‘ and ‘where going to be together for ever’. This got my back up for some reason and I snapped back at him ‘his not mine to keep’ . I cried after that , and I was confused as hell why? Fast forward 6 months and thing were still going strong and I was content for the first time in my life. but things changed when I got a very drunk  phone call from the boss man when he was away for work, saying he loved and missed me. When he got home I was on the war path , and shouted at him ‘don’t you dare tell me ou love me if you don’t fucking mean it’ . little did I know that he would break down and say he meant ever word he had said and that he want an ever after, home and kids with me. after that things went from strength to strength for us and are little poly family.

then in late august 2016 I was in hospital with an infection, when he turned up with a goofy nerves look on his , normally cocky face. He then proceeded to get down on his knee and ask me to marry him. I was sweaty , messy and hooked up to drip and machines, but he managed to make me feel wanted and loved at my lowest point. So I said yes. He then announced he wanted to be married by Christmas! So as soon as I got out of hospital it was wedding prep and arranging at full steam. I’m really lucky to have had a lot of help and it was all sorted and planned with in 10 days. We married in Belfast on December the 6th last year.

Now I did not have all my friends there or much of my family . But it was an amazing day and I was blissfully happy . It was only this weekend past that this email came to light. He sent it to all are kinky friends who could not make it to the wedding. I read and re-read this and cried, so I thought I would share it with you all. (not meaning to be soppy or showy)

Dear friends,

It’s with a huge smile that I say thank you to you all. After 18 years of having my little mouse in my life , at first as a friend, then her protector , then lover , my sub , life partner and now wife, I can not imagine my life without her. You all know too well what she has been through with family, her health and what  did too her. I just want assure you all that from this point forward I’m going keep her safe , make her see how wonderful she is and know that not only I love her , but by so many others. It’s not going to be all smooth sailing, we all know she has health problems. But I will do the up most to keep her from harm. The girls, myself and my little h are so grateful that you are all part of are world . I want to thank my beautiful wife for teaching me the meaning of the words family, trust and courage, as they are the 3 things that she shows me ever minute of everyday. So I say raise your glasses to the Devine Mrs B! May she be in mine and your lives for many years to come.

Antoine Beaulac.

So that is why I love him so much and get all mushy when I talk about him!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

From the heart, musings of pixie heart., Poly life, Uncategorized

3 weeks down , 1 to go!

Well I have made it through another week of punishment and lived to tell the tale! was quite a good week on the whole, been some ups , but the has also been a few lows! Both the twins are doing good, everyone at home are awesome and I found out tonight that one of my best friends Emit Is coming to stay for Christmas and New year! I have also got 5 advent calendars! But the have been downs as well. I had to get blood work done , as I do every month. It all came back clear except for me being low on iron and folate, which I pretty much knew, so i’m on iron and flote pills ): I had a wobble , that led to me having a full on panic attack, that I had to take meds to get out of ): I got court swearing , a lot and got given the hair brush. ): I also had a ‘I hate my face’ day, that was really not a lot of fun ):  I also have to confess that my head is telling me  I don’t need to take my meds, well my anxiety and depression meds. but I have been really good and told / talked to people about it. lol the help I got from peeps on twitter was amazing! (ladies you know who you are!)

So with all this I mind Maîtriser has come up with some interesting and fun punishments and rules for this coming week! He’s  calling it the refine, define and shine week. I’m calling the Self-in-flaitted-ego week, but hoo hum! Changes / rules / tasks as follows!

  • No swearing what so ever. Punishment for each swear word , 5 from babe a the paddle.
  • 1 early morning , 1 post work out and one bed time selfie to be posted. no make up or filters.
  • Daily affirmation to be said.
  • Free time is back , but is to be used for something fun and relaxing. eg Craft , reading or writing prompt.
  • I am to rewrite my about page, using only prospective words.
  • Spelling list and reading for 30 mins a day to be done.
  • 30 mins yoga every morning followed be 10 mins meditation.
  • 2 gym sessions with Steve (core and cardio) And one sparring session with John.
  • Do daily tasks for my submissive advent Callender (starting on Friday)
  • Start the pattern for Christmas party dress.
  • Dentist appointment made and attended.
  • Write for #MM #Wickedwednesday #KOTW.
  • Plan, tidy and finish a writing space for myself.
  • Daily self-care task to be given and done daily .
  • Afternoon nap to be taken between 3 and 4pm , babies permitting.
  • Christmas list to be written , by Friday.
  • To wear what is layed out for me each day.

I also get to go on a girl date and we are all going to dinner and dancing on Saturday night to celebrate our 1 year wedding anerverseryy.

Now this is where you guys get asked to help! if by any chance I swear on here or twitter the boss man would like to know! So if you see it , drop him a line at antoine.beaulac.1965@hotmail.com.

So that’s my week , have a good one guys!

Hugs,

Pixie x x x x

bdsm, Diary, From the heart, Poly life, Uncategorized

Reading, thinking and 1 to 5 –

Last night (Sunday) after maîtriser told me new rules / punishments, I was sat thinking about them and the #SoSS  post on twitter. One of the things I have to do this week is read at least 3 blog post a day and then discus them with either maîtriser Or Babe . I had an idea, I love the blogs I follow , but I sometimes get a little overwhelmed by the amount of awesome post , I mean the are so many of them , where would I start! Then I had a light bulb moment , why not use the #SoSS posts! then I get help picking what to read and I know I’m reading the cream of the crop! So I asked maîtriser if I could do that and it was met with a smile, nod of his head and kiss. The fact he said ‘that’s   a good girl , think outside the box, I’m so proud of you’ was a huge bonus! (:

So yesterdays #SOSS was the Lovely and very talented Candysnacthreviews . I chose to use her #SoSS candy’s pick and mix 4. Just want to say that as always it was beautifully written and layer out I an extremely inviting way.

Getting Lucky – Scandarella – Story Written for Masturbation that is so hot I may have had to calm myself down , twice! Beautifully written , great visualisation and exquisite use of language. Love every second of this and I even read it to the girls as a bedtime story last night!

Crying after sex:two stories – Girl on the net. – Such a relatable piece of writing , that was so emotive that I had a lump in my throat and by the end I had tears streaming down om y checks. I think that anyone who has ever suffered with depression or anxiety well of felt this and this just sums up those feelings so perfectly.

Living With Invisible Bisexuality When You Look Hetero – Cara Sutra – Yet another piece that I could whole heartedly relate to! Being bi and poly myself , I look for the best like a normal(ish) hetro female. I had never stopped and really thought about it that much before, but I do. it also kind of makes why people are so shocked when they see me and kitten or little bear kissing in public! Thus really made me stop and think about it

Rosie Heart – Why i love doing sex work (and why it should’t mater) – A very thought-provoking and genuinely moving piece of writing . It made me look at sex workers in a different light completely (not that I looked down on them or anything like that) Really loved this and will be reading more of her stuff!

The Oooh Review!!! Leatherette Vixen Full Body Harness Review – Really awesome review of a product that not only made me want to try it , but made think ‘ I really want to review stuff, I just don’t have the guts!’ So bravo!

I also have to do as punishment my nana’s 1 to 5 thing . Which always makes me smile , even when I don’t want too!  So here we go with that.

Bad / crappy thing or thought – My sisters think I’m mad for not wanting to share a nanny with them and cos i would rather uncle fred or the girls watched the babies.

Good things.

  1. I manged to go get my blood work done without freaking out or fainting. I took the babies with me and walk to the hospital (3o min walk) and got the bus home.
  2. I have applied to do start my writing class again in the new year, for 2 hours on a thursday morning. maîtriser can work from home one day a week and has agreed to watch the girls for a morning.
  3. I have finally got my Christmas baking sorted out and have a kitchen full of christmas cakes!
  4. i have scheduled 5 post on this blog for this week. (well i think i have but you never know with me!)
  5. I feel much happier in myself after getting back to doing yoga and meditation every morning. i also cant wait to get back to the gym this week, even if it’s only core work and cardio!

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